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Good day my children, those of you that are sane and normal amongst K-Pop lovers. I have finally returned! Damn I wish I could embed some kind of music so instead I am going to post a clip with the music that I would like you to hear while I ramble on about my courageous return. JUSTICE!

 

 

I had to take a break away from JBarky’s WTF Moments because the-editor-that-shall-not-be-mentioned went off on a honeymoon trip and JBarky and melkimx had to fend off the wolves on their own. (*cough* all thunderstix’s fault)

But yes, I missed all of you that missed me, and as always, I will always love you~

(I even love all of you who wrongly thought that Korean Romanization asks for having Capital Letters for As in nAmes, BLEH )

 

1) G-Dragon: The Real Meaning Behind “High High”?

What can I say, that hasn’t already been said, or what can I do to shed some Jbarky light on the situation?

After the G-Dragon incident, I had to take longer showers, thinking about how I would talk about this subject, but I kept drawing a blank. As with most great people, it seemed like I had met my first obstacle. This incident was being “too” talked about so I decided to avoid it for a while. Anyhooters, here we go!

You know before I share my thoughts on this topic, I need to make a humongous apology.

I remember when GD&TOP came out with “High High” I was blasting the song in my car and asked the person in the passenger’s seat, “Hey do you think they even know what it means to get high?” and snickered.

Damn, this is an embarrassing moment for me, I was completely wrong!

Honestly, G-Dragon won some cool points for me. Nearly none of the Korean celebrities have a true “bad boy” image. Of course they might “act” like bad boys, but they don’t really do anything crazy like U.S. stars. (Here’s lookin at you Lohan)

Anyway, marijuana is always a big no-no in Korea. But hey, he only took two puffs right? (Garbage) Who knows, he might have done more, but I don’t really care! I just think he should have left out the random Japanese stranger and just say some Asian stranger instead.

It’s pretty convenient if you know what I mean, using the “Japanese Stranger” excuse.

 

Example A) Late for Work

You see thunderstix is my boss before my bigger boss. You know when you play videogames and there’s that big end-game boss you have to fight against, but right before him you have that annoying rival that is still technically a boss fight? That is thunderstix to me. BAZINGA!

Anyways here’s how it goes everyday in the office now.

Thunderstix: Jbarky why are you so late?

Jbarky: Oh I’m sorry, I was just about to catch a cab, when this random Japanese stranger jumped into the cab as well and we had to go to his stop first.

 

Example B) Breaking Up with Somebody

Stella: Jbarky I.. I think.. we should end this

Jbarky: NOOOOOOO! I’m going to jump off a bridge, I’ll cut off my arm for you, I.. I can fix this!

Stella: No you can’t *sobs*

Jbarky: WHY?!?!

Stella: I.. I’m dating a random Japanese stranger…

Jbarky: Oh, I understand.

 

Example C) Leaving After a One-Night-Stand

Jbarky catches random girl running off to begin her walk of shame.

Jbarky: Where are you going?

Random Girl: Oh me? Uhh.. I am meeting a random Japanese stranger.

Jbarky: Oh ok, have a good one!

 

Well okay maybe my examples were horrible, but the lesson here children appears to be that if you ever get caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing, the best thing to do is blame that random Japanese stranger!

 

2) Capitalization in Celeb Names

Here is my response to the comments I read in the previous JBarky’s WTF Moments Edition, no YOU DO NOT USE A CAPITAL INSIDE OF A KOREAN NAME. (For any official documents)

NEVER, and I mean never have I seen that name used in such a way throughout my short life.

It would be extremely ridiculous if you began to Romanize names in such a manner, I mean how the hell are you going to explain that to immigrations or when you get your driver’s license. I am 99.9% sure (leaving 0.1% out because I MIGHT be wrong) that even YoonA or HyunA does not have that name on their passport.

Or even imagine in class how ridiculous that would be, “I’m sorry you miswrote my name, it requires to have a capital A at the end.”

Well, let’s say I do agree with those-of-you-that-think-it-is-correct. I will go with your argument. Then, I have a deep dark secret that I am going to share with you.

When you see JBarky or Jbarky I know you pronounce it by saying something that sounds like Jay-Bahr-Key. Well, you are wrong, in my tribe in South Korea that is not how you spell it or pronounce that Korean name. You pronounce it by saying “Jay-*CLICK*-Key.” Yes my name has a click in the middle of it, don’t know what I mean?

Check this out:

 

 

3) Heart2Heart, “Facebook Official”

Not really K-Pop news but this new boy-band is allegedly copying the concept of K-Pop idol groups. People in the office think they are merely a parody group, but I am a true believer. They are a legit boy band, you and me, you and me, Facebook Official~~~~~

 

 

 

4) Rolling Stones’ Mick Jagger Talks About Super Junior

This was actually a true Jbarky WTF Moment. Of course we reported about this as well because it was appearing on Korean news sources.

But, this was really big news, Mick Jagger diggin Super Junior’s songs? I had to investigate, and Korean news sources were pointing towards another English K-Pop news site. So I went there, and wouldn’t you know, they had no sources whatsoever. Was it on facebook/twitter/ or for an interview/inside information? To this day we will never know. (I even looked through Mick Jagger’s facebook and twitter, but there was no mention about this.)

Isn’t that illegal? But of course, I bet even if it were, Mick Jagger is too cool of a kat to care. But in all seriousness, that website has lost all of its credibility to me, in terms of journalism that is a sin you should not commit.

By the way, Justin Bieber thinks Soompi.com is awesome, Britney Spears reads my WTF Moments all the time, Brad Pitt reads Soompi.com to catch up on his K-Pop news, and Justin Timberlake loves listening to the Soompi K-Pop Top 50.

 

5) Jang Geun Suk the Shuffle King

Don’t worry kids, I’m not hating. I think it’s awesome that Jang Geun Suk got to meet with LMFAO, and that he loves shufflin’. (The other day I was teaching our PR person how to shuffle dance)

As faithful Jbarky WTF followers, I know you remember this clip about the LMFAO rip-off group:

 

 

 

 

Here’s me hoping that soon the wiggle dance by LMFAO in his “Sexy and I Know It” will also catch on (Before you click to watch this clip, you are giving your consent to be offended, and you are declaring to be over 18 years old.)

 

 

Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Yeah~

 

6) Bengali “Keep Your Head Down”

Here is the original:

 

 

Here is the “Bake Fresh” version:

 

 

Honestly I am now amazed at the power of Bake Fresh. They turned something beautiful and awesome, into something awesome(er?).

Sure I was hootin and hollerin because it was so funny, but I was actually quite disappointed. They left out all the fire in their version, that made me a sad panda : (.

It would’ve been perfect, I mean if it’s “Bake Fresh” shouldn’t you show some baking actually happening?

 

7) Stars Attend Breast Cancer Campaign

This really has nothing to do with the breast cancer campaign at all. It’s just, whenever I read something about breast cancer I catch myself cupping my own breasts subconsciously even though I’m a guy.

I don’t know if any of you have this as well but, I hate hairs that grow around your nipple. There is one hair that seems to grow on it and I have tried to pull it out to no avail. (Oh hell it hurt so much)

It felt a lot like this: (Remember this contains a lot of explicit language)

 

 

Or This:

 

 

 

Ga In of Brown Eyed Girls Takes Her Top Off for Marie Claire

No words needed.

 

 

Well that’s a wrap, disagree with me, hate me, agree with me, and/or love me? Remember to comment below because I love reading them!

JBarky is a senior editor for soompi.com. You can email him at barkjason@soompi.com, or
follow his twitter.com feed at @jjbarky

*Note: The content of this article represents views and policies solely of the writer, and in no way represents the editorial stance of Soompi.com or the whole editorial board.