I know I haven't posted in quite some time.  I kept trying to work up the balls to write this entry, but I was a complete coward and tried to avoid it for the longest time.  But, as my camp wrapped up on Monday, I realized I couldn't dodge this any longer.

So here it is: I'm leaving Korea in a little over a month.  I was supposed to stay until the end of August, but about three weeks ago, Dean and I were put in a situation where we found the best solution was to just leave at the end of this term.  Basically, we have an angry, irrational landlord who hates/distrusts Americans who decided she didn't want us living in the apartment anymore.  My school arranged multiple talks with her and on the final one, she started screaming about how she wanted us to pay for the next 6 months in advance or we had to be out by February 28th.  Dean and I don't have that kind of money (our apartment is about $1,300 a month--Dean's school paid half and mine paid the other half) and we weren't willing to move our entire 2.5 years' worth of stuff to a small studio for just 6 months.  I mean, we have a three bedroom apartment here--fridge, washing machine, two beds, tons of clothes, couch, tv, etc.  Moving it all would be really stressful, especially when you factor in that we'd have to start repacking things about 4 months later.

After that final meeting, I was furious at myself and the manager.  She had been shouting things and I only understood about a 1/3 of it, but when I asked my co-teacher to translate, she nervously looked back at me and said, "I will not, because it is that rude."  I knew she was trash-talking America and me, and I was just...so frustrated that my Korean wasn't good enough to fight back and that she didn't speak enough English for me to confront her.

I walked home completely shaking with anger, but within an hour, I was committed to the idea of coming home.  We'd tried to dodge this housing issue for a month and that last nail in the coffin had finally been hammered in.  I didn't want to fight it anymore--I just wanted to get my head on straight and start making the appropriate plans.  I immediately started making plans for returning to America and tried to view the whole situation positively.

My principal has been great through this whole matter.  Even though teachers have complained about him being a bully and even though he talks way too much about himself, he and the administration really went the extra mile to try to help me out. They consulted lawyers on the matter and came up with several solutions, even though she later cut them all down. 

So there you have it.  I resigned last week and will only have to go in for five days at the beginning of February.  Now until then, I'm on vacation, and I have more vacation from the 5th until the 28th.  At least I have a lot of free time to get stuff done.  I've sent a few packages of clothes home, and will be sending about four more home today.  We took the cat to get the appropriate shots for coming into the US and he spent the rest of the evening drugged up (they had to sedate him because he became too wild) and paranoid.  I sent out a cyworld message to five of my best JA girls and told them to arrange a time with me to come pick up stuff.  Even though I'm taking a lot home with me, there are some things that I really don't need.  I have a lot of clothes I bought and only wore once because it didn't fit me right, and the girls can take that stuff.  I'll also give away my ionic hair rollers, straightener, guitar, and lots of random accessories. 

I'm going to miss Korea and I'm not going to pretend that this will be easy.  We shocked a lot of people by saying we were leaving so soon, many of whom later insisted, "But...but, you'll be coming back probably, right?"  It's not uncommon.  However, I like to think that, when I go, I will really go. 

Lately, I've been skyping with my former college roommate (the one who also lived in Korea for a year) who lives in NYC.  It seems that all of our really close friends have moved to the city, so it's not like Dean and I will be lonely.  And talking to her has gotten me really excited about coming home.   I have this almost-plan about America: stay with my parents for about a month then move to NYC.  Dean and I will both have enough money from severance and pension to pay a few months' rent and we will be scouring the city for any job leads.  Family members I barely know (and in some cases, don't know at all) sent a lot of really helpful messages on facebook once they heard I was moving to NYC.  A lot of them have been my dad's cousins (younger than him, older than me) who live in the city.  It really surprised me to hear such helpful feedback from them, but it also calmed me down. 

And, more than ever, I am dying to get into an NYC grad school.  I won't know until the end of February and the suspense is just...killing me.  Before, I'd tried to keep a lukewarm attitude towards grad school, but since Korea has fallen through so quickly, I find myself desperately hoping to get in.   It's like...if I get in, at least I will have a semblance of sureness for the future.

So...I'm going to end this here.  No pictures today because I haven't uploaded any.  Maybe later this week.