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It Hurts To See Him Unhappy...


Guest bigbanglover5

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Guest bigbanglover5

watching someone convince themselve their in love when their not =/
Have you ever had to watch someone try so hard to convince them self that their happy and in love?

Did you say anything to that person...? Did they soon realize they werent?

I have a friend, he is the sweetest person in the entire world. With a genuine heart and kind features. My friend is in a relationship and has been in this relationship for almost...a year and a half. I love my friend very much and i can see he is not happy in this relationship. He tries so hard to convince himself hes happy and that he loves her, but in actuality hes always lonely. Hes always suffering to make her happy and he sometimes feels like he wants to cut himself because of her. My friend has enough problems at home, his mother has cancer and his dads an bubble gum who cheats on his wife. Now he has stress about making his gf happy 24/7. When your in a relationship, shouldnt you feel like your s/o is your safety line? Like no matter how cruel the world may seem and everything feels like its going wrong, shouldnt you feel like when your with your s/o your at peace? Like not having to worry about anything and not have to worry about accomidating to her every little need? He says he loves her and hes gonna marry her. But the truth of the matter is, hes just lonely and wants to have something that he knows will last forever even if it doesnt make him happy. And he knows it will last forever because she has a very low self esteem and i think he wont end it with her because he doesnt want to hurt her. But shouldnt you be in a relationship because it makes you happy?

So my over all question is: Can you ever help a person like that? Will he soon realize that shes just not the one?

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Why don't you tell his gf about his situation? Or does she already know?

Regardless of whether his girlfriends knows or not, she shouldn't interfere. It's their relationship and if his girlfriend doesn't know, the worst that can happen is that she confronts him and yells at him for keeping a secret away from her (and how his friend - the one who posted this thread - knows but not her). It seems like his girlfriend doesn't seem to care much about him from the start to even notice that he is lonely and not happy.

Anyway, I guess all you can do right now is be there for your friend. There is not much you can do about what he is going through with his parents and his girlfriend. If you bring it up, it might even confuse him more about what to do. Who knows? He might get defensive about his girlfriend and/or his parents O___o Just be there to listen and let him know that you care. It sounds like he is at a vulnerable point right now and he needs someone to snap him back to reality when he needs it.

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Guest diana78

that sounds like a really sticky situation. I wouldn't suggest doing anything proactive. Even if he is unhappy, all you can do is be his friend and be there for him, like damyoungji said. If you do something, it may not be wanted, and then they'll both get mad at you for sticking your nose into their relationship.

As for his family, you can suggest help lines for his mother, and listen to him.

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Guest bigbanglover5

Regardless of whether his girlfriends knows or not, she shouldn't interfere. It's their relationship and if his girlfriend doesn't know, the worst that can happen is that she confronts him and yells at him for keeping a secret away from her (and how his friend - the one who posted this thread - knows but not her). It seems like his girlfriend doesn't seem to care much about him from the start to even notice that he is lonely and not happy.

Anyway, I guess all you can do right now is be there for your friend. There is not much you can do about what he is going through with his parents and his girlfriend. If you bring it up, it might even confuse him more about what to do. Who knows? He might get defensive about his girlfriend and/or his parents O___o Just be there to listen and let him know that you care. It sounds like he is at a vulnerable point right now and he needs someone to snap him back to reality when he needs it.

Well his girlfriend does know in fact that his mom has cancer and his dads a butthole. She knows as much as i know. But i feel like she takes him for granted...Thanks damyoungji :D buttt....how do i get him to snap back into reality. I care for him so much...and i have to admit, i love him...more than a friend. But if i tell him that he'll just think i want him and his gf to break up because i like him. which isnt the case because i sat back and watched them continue there meaningless relationship for 10 months. So i guess the right thing to do is not say anything? But why do i feel like i need to talk to him and tell him how i feel and how i know hes not happy? :(

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Guest bbyxwinnie

Well his girlfriend does know in fact that his mom has cancer and his dads a butthole. She knows as much as i know. But i feel like she takes him for granted...Thanks damyoungji :D buttt....how do i get him to snap back into reality. I care for him so much...and i have to admit, i love him...more than a friend. But if i tell him that he'll just think i want him and his gf to break up because i like him. which isnt the case because i sat back and watched them continue there meaningless relationship for 10 months. So i guess the right thing to do is not say anything? But why do i feel like i need to talk to him and tell him how i feel and how i know hes not happy? :(

honestly ;s i feel like you only know partially about him and his girlfriends relationship maybe he only comes to you when they're not in good terms so you think hes not happy with her. but then i shouldnt be talking cause i know even less. either way i say back off and dont be a homewrecker if he really cant stand her he'll come around to it eventually.

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