this is all johnteshing bs.what the heck am i supposed to know
about this kind of work. seeing that geezer's face makes me want to barf all over the place
they are all a bunch of liars!!! LIARS SHOULD JOHN TESHING GO TO HELL!!!!!!!

omggggaahhh first i burns than it itches now it stinks. ahh why didnt i listen and use a different cup to make my coffee. ahh

I need to stop squinting my eyes. I just got my eyes checked up and they're 20/20 now.

And I really hate that I can't take that stupid drug screening test for work. It's not my fault I was given the wrong hours of the clinic, and the clinic is stupid for having such odd hours. I don't want to lose my job just because I was unable to arrive at the right time to pee in a cup. I don't do drugs, and I never will, so why is it that I'm having a difficult time proving it!

Informed of this event the exact day it sells out...

http://pecha-kucha.org/daily/2009/10/12/po...ancouver-vol-8/

On a side note, dear co-worker, every time you are chatting I ease drop hearing almost 9/10 you are gossiping, insulting, and complaining about other workers. If you have a problem with another worker ask them up front. You were complaining about someone who was working on the shift, so why not just ask them, than assume they are "dumb." Ask them why they keep running back and forth to the washroom. My best guess is that they are sick or having some sort of reaction to a medication. Is there a real need for your bickering of ignorance? I really don't see how you find those types of conversations interesting: gossip, gossip, gossip. Is that all you can manage? It gives me a headache.

I'm sorry

Maybe I really am this cold hearted.

i decided to donate blood but the thing is i'm not qualified so sad...
lack of iron... 11.8 count only it should be 12.5 above...

I need to change credit cards....gheuhtgeiughtesthnet
anyone has any good cashback credit cards? x___X

^ I have discover and my cashback rewards are pretty nice. I can get 5% depending on the month and items and can actually get cash for my credit if i choose.

Sad and depressed. Everyone deserted me today. Just one of those days when everyone was busy and no one had time to do anything with you.
Worst thing is my friends played a mean joke on me. Got my hopes up and then boom, they all collapsed because they were "only joking". Laugh because I'm naive and tend to believe people? No I don't think it was funny. I couldn't tell them how hurt I was. Should've told them to grow up and stop hanging out with them. Ok I will try to do it once I come back. They deserve it for what they've done to me...

I haven't been able to go to sleep on time for the past three or so weeks. I hate it, but it's my own fault. *sigh* Wish I could stare into Jack White's mind.

This sure was a happy Halloween...

I myself find it sad that my wish has turned into a death wish. Yet knowing its not right I can't let go of it. What's my fate..? Sure was a sucky halloween. =/
Hopefully it'll be a good winter.

I honestly don't know what i said, but thanks for making me feel like the bad guy.
It just totally felt like I did something wrong to make the relationship go sour.

I don't like hypocrites.

You tell me to only order through your shop online, yet when I do you think you can act like a moron just because you somewhat know me --very unprofessional. Not only that but you already knew of my circumstances and I fully informed you before-hand, so to post such a manipulative response like that is uncalled for. I am not going to re-iterate everything on an online forum, when it is of no concern to others, just because you are a computer geek and refuse to talk to people face-to-face and are almost completely deaf when people try to talk to you since you wear headphones 24/7. Oh and I forgot to factor in your age. I can't stand your immaturity.
Not that I said I wouldn't pay you back, but I'm thinking to myself ---why should I pay you anyways when you stole my mattress and blanket since the summer?

my new roommates are too picky!! they critique everything!! they won't listen to me either because they go with what they're use to. what they're use to isn't bad, it's just not very effective or fair O__O. *sigh* i got into more mess than i wanted to.

why does work never end
why does my senior thesis have to be 60 pages of a rough draft i might not ever use again
why is she coming this weekend? and isn't even 100% sure of that
why is my dad using my credit card again?

g;khafdsah

My company has enforced.... no headphones allowed.
They are turning us into robots. It shall be the death of me.

I'm so stressed. It all started with you. Then everything kept piling higher higher higher till I couldnt see what was in front of me anymore. You, the root of all evil, the source of all my troubles, please go away. Yet I like you so much...
Nothing seems to ease the pain anymore

So so so stressed out from work...everything just gets on my very last nerves..today i just don't feel like doing any work..wna get out of here..worried about weight and watching what i eat..hard to get up early in the morning for a 30-40min jog..family drama.....what else can make me more emo...

Dear Team Captains, Coach:

you don’t have to get all cocky just because you have two more years. just because we’re leaving. we’re really the last of the best, sorry for the future team of later years, but I really don’t think you can win against grove without us. you really think you can make junior nationals with that attitude? you really think you can win CIF with that attitude? I don’t think you can, because all you really being is being a stupid pinkberry who can’t handle to take fear on its own. I push myself, I do things only upon skills, i don’t rely on trick shots, i don’t believe i am the best. i don’t even think i can make junior national myself. all those times i thought you were a great, nice person. but right now, you’re showing your true colors, and this will be my last year to make a difference. and you are one i want to make. you can’t even keep your racket up, you aren’t even strong enough to play strong mixed, and you want to place strong mixed? and you want to play men’s doubles? are you john teshing kidding me? seriously get your act together. we’re giving you one month to prove that you aren’t that pinkberry we elected from the beginning. i know your year and the years to come can’t beat grove without the class of 2009 or the class of 2010.

you think you can take on junior nationals? come on, think seriously. you can’t even play mixed that well. you don’t think when you play, you can’t play doubles as well either. i only chose you because there was no one else was playing. believe me i would play for tournaments, but my heart can’t take this mini cooper. i can’t stand you guys. don’t you have a life besides badminton? if you aren’t socializing with your friends, the true friends that you should have, then what kind of life are you living? a boring one i must assume.

and coach, you need to get your act together. STOP BABYING OUR john teshING CAPTAINS. they wanted to be captains, and let them be! they should be able to take care of themselves. you don’t stop for those who are getting hurt or sick, but you stop EVERYONE for them? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? get your act together. i’m sick and tired of you trying to make them sick, making their stomachs curl until they vomit. aren’t you thinking of the well being of our members?

believe me, i’m trying my best to make it to be as you expect of me. i don’t plan on being number one for singles. i know i have better potential in girls doubles but i don’t plan on anything but right now and getting something at preseason and beating grove and winning league. nothing else. cif worry will come later.

Signed,
A member of the team

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i'm sorry this is really long, but yeah, i needed to type all this out. instead of keeping it in my head. ):

this is a totally bad week. i worked hard yet i got scolded for something that wasn't even my fault. gosh and his assessment of me this time will ruin all the hard work that I did over the past months...
im sad and just dontknow why i always get into situations when its not even my fault...

i got fired today and part of it was for the most stupidest reason ever... the first time ive EVER gotten fired from a job...

I don't even know where to begin! There's so many things wrong with my life right now that I feel like I wanna just sleep the next month away >_<
We got our exams back for accounting a few days ago.... I KNEW I didn't do well so I didn't want my two guy friends to see. I STRICTLY told them that I didn't do well and they knew it too. And when I say I didn't do well, I knew I would be lucky to PASS >_<
Anyways, I walked away after class and told them not to follow me and I sat in a corner to read over what I got. Suddenly, one of them (let's call him Bob), walks up... picks up my exam, looks at it and goes "oh..." and puts it down.
I was like WTF?! EVEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT I GOT YET! Why would you just LOOK at my mark like that when I haven't even gotten a chance to see?! Not ONLY that but you CLEARLY know that I didn't do well and yet you still look at my stuff... talk about invasion of privacy much!?!?

Normally, I would be ok with it but I don't even KNOW Bob that well... and I normally HATE sharing my marks. I only share with my best friends and family, so that totally caught me with a WTF moment X___X
Needless to say, I got really angry cuz not only did I ALMOST FAIL my exam but Bob didn't even have the decency to say SORRY or APOLOGIZE or anything! He didn't even know why I was angry!!

So it's been a few days later, and I'm still angry and what I hate most is that my housemates/best friend IS NOT sticking up for me at all!! She keeps saying that I should forgive Bob but doesn't even realize why i'm upset and just totally neglects my feelings! She's now hanging out with my "friends" more than I am and I guess I feel jealous cuz I'm the one that introduced her to them (cuz we have separate classes) and she barely understands how I feel >_< UGH!!! oishfoisjlfjslkf!
Anyways, it sounds unreasonable on my part now that I type it out, but I just don't GET IT! WHY am I the one that got wronged and yet BOB is the one that gets all the sympathy?!?!

--xoxo.
TM

I hope you feel better in the days to come. It's probably really tough but hang in there.


My life is just a mess rite now. I've been dating the same guy for about 4 years and we have been talking about getting married but everytime we decide to go for it he reacts in a way that makes me think he's not ready. I get soooo mad at him that sometimes I just want to end it and move on. He really loves me but man this back and forth thing is killing me. I'm calling the whole thing off this time and I'll just let him do what he wants at his own pace. The day I'm really fed up with him...well you know the rest. huuh childish pple who don't know how to make up their minds really piss me off.

ahhh I feel better

Math is not my friend. I hate math. I just want to scream. Cry a little. Kick a kitten. Choke a small child. Okay, maybe not that extreme.
If only I didn't miss the test review last week...
I have a B is his class right now which isn't bad but it's far from good. I need an A.
I can't live with a B. If I end up with a B, I will go ballistic.
No, no, it's okay. A "B" isn't the end of the world.
*calm down
*calm down
BUT I REALLY WANT AN "A"! GOSH DARN IT. I hate when people are like, "You're so lucky you're Asian. You guys are like, born smart. It's genetic/hereditary." That's total BS. My dad was a math teacher and he DID not pass any of his smart genes to me because I suck at math.
I am really freaking annoyed right now. I've been staring at the same equation for 30 minutes now and it still looks like gibberish.
Math is the root of all evil.

john tesh off
ill do whatever i want
i have no sympathy for your ass

i am so siiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccccckkkkkk of studying i don't know how you all do it

I just realize that I need a stupid blog. I always hav too many things to complain about. And maybe a few years later I can read back and realize what a whiny lil girl I was. Haha.
But im too lazy to create a blog.
Anyway, last night i thought my depression just came rushing back. I felt lonely, empty, unmotivated, lifeless, unsure where my life is going.
My job is so stressful. I hated my client this week. They were lying to cover up for each other's misstake and in the end I was the one who was wrong and got scolded by my manager.
I'm getting pissed off at my manager too. A hypocrite and racist bubble gum. No wonder everyone in our office hates him .Dont know why he's still signed for another contract.
The guy I like...well I realize I'm liking him more and more now. Except I never get to see him. We are always on different jobs and we never see each other. I want to talk to him, just to get to know him. I'd be happy just to be his good friend. But I don't know what's happening. He seems like he cares when we meet in real life, but when I emailed him last week he didn't reply. First time I took the initiative on getting to know someone, and it fails. Does he know that i like him so he didn't reply? Still isn't that a bit mean. Don't know what the hell happened. Sometimes you just wish you knew the little details that happen on the other side =__=
I just realize I miss him terribly writing this down. I wish our fate was a little more connected, I wish I had a chance to accidentally meet him somewhere, to be able to run up and say hi without looking like a total weird girl
I guess my life is going nowhere. Not getting any better than last year. After the move, I hav no close friends to hang out now. I feel lonely and sad. I miss having somewhere to go with the people I love. I miss having someone who care for me. I miss having someone to always be there to talk to me.

Someone I thought would never, ever return into my life just did. I don't really care or am looking for answers as to why they decided to remove themselves from my life, because we had been growing distant for awhile anyway, but I just felt so freaking awkward when they showed up and were like, "Hey, haven't talked in awhile." I mean...I guess the gesture is genuine and they did give me a reason before I could even think to ask them why they went their own way....but it's just....so much has happened...yeah, I'm just like that. Once I get over something, I don't want to go back and when it comes back I'm at a loss for words. Should I feel like a bad person?

I will never understand this crazy-old man. Have I committed murder, became addicted to some serious drugs, stole money from him, or any dumb mini cooper kids do when parents don't give a mini cooper? Nope, instead I've worked my ass off to go back to school after crumbling down due to our problem.

Just because I'm an Atheist and I alienated myself from this pro-beating women, ridiculous, traditional cultural, I'm a failure in his eyes.

Well, dad, in my eyes, you're a hypocrite and a coward. And for someone who claims to know god, you know absolutely nothing about him.

Why can't people take a decent message?
I'm thinking of creating a note pad to put by the phone with specifics to fill out...

Date:
Time Received:
Name:
Message:
Are they calling back: Yes/No
Approx when:
Do they expect you to call back: Yes/No
Their number:

I don't want to rant with my family so I'll rant it here: I am such a moron. I just had a phone interview for a job in Korea and I completely BOMBED it. How do I know? When the interviewer asked me what my strengths were, the only thing I could think of was that I was patient (and nothing at all in concern to what the job entails). When he asked me what my ideal co-worker is, I kept repeating the words "professional" without even providing any reasons. Plus, I kept pausing and answering some of his questions with really random and off-topic information, like how I look nice/kind. What does that have to do with anything?! It's only after when I finished my interview that I can remember all the things that I should've and wanted to say.

Man, I'm so slow-witted.

Okay, I feel better.

Do you remember the first thing you said when I told you I was looking for a job, and that the first that did not go smoothly? You clearly said and I heard you said (you think I did not...well, here is the thing - NEXT TIME DON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD OR SAY IT AWAY FROM MY EAR RANGE), "Oh, she thinks living over here is easy? Well, its tough. If she can't find a job, she'll just crawl back to her parents." Now, what?! When I found a job and confirmed it to you, you are showing off on my behalf? People, please. You think it was so easy for me. Psh. You had no idea what I went through. I have through one scam interview, another scam w/ money involved, a failed interview, multiple-rejections, and numbers of unreplied... The only reason I did not tell you is because of the reaction you gave me from that one incident. I don't need your proudness. Where were you when I went through that tough crap?

AND NO! I will not buy a new car, don't you even dare pressure my father into buying me a new car. I will not touch my parents' money especially in that large sum. I made my stand loud and clear. You people always talk so easy - but guess what? You are not the one in charge of it, I am. I know my finances better than anyone else. So please, shut it.

I honestly hate people who is all-talk...but are never there for you when you needed it the most.

-ida

just do me a favour and JUMP OFF A john teshING BRIDGE.

kthxbai.

I feel so tiny. What is suppose to be my strengths and talents is so miniscule compared everyone else. I was confident in myself before, but now I feel squashed like a bug.

I think I remember talking to you before about art school right? If it's you... you SHOULD be confident. I've seen your work and it's absolutely original. Most people you see just draw the same particular way but you have a certain style about your work. I love it. It's far from the ordinary. Be confident! You have every reason to. <3 (I'll feel really stupid if it isn't you and you were just some random person. lol.)




Every month I wonder to myself.. why.. WHYYYYYY was I born a girl. WHY?!
Oh and you can tell it's a bad day when you lose EVERY SINGLE EFFING GAME YOU PLAY!! What a horrible way to end a day.

i want to smack myself upside down...why am i so freakin stupid...why is he so mean??
i hate this feeling...i hate you now too you suck >_<

So I have no friends.

I was stationed in Japan for three years, had a blast. Then I got assigned to a base in California... out in the middle of bum-friggin-nowhere, and I have never been to Cali before.

With my promotion, I can't be friends with the junior airmen because of my rank. But they are the ones I get along with the most, as I do not like majority of the other sergeants... too much politicking, too much cattiness. And really, I generally do not like other military people in general. What's worse, my job is too intensive to let me make friends outside of work. I sleep during the day, and work at night... and typically spend 12 hours at work. Even if I get off of work early, which is rare, I still get home too late... everyone else is typically asleep.

And now, the holiday season is upon us and I can look forward to spending it alone. Oh, and I'm tasked to deploy to the Middle East in a few months. Great, so I get to look forward to coming back from the desert to.... no friends. Or family, because I don't have one.

No wonder I drink alone, there's no one for me to drink with!

Yes, I'm freaking drunk right now. I'm trying to finish a mini-keg by myself.

I really hope I didn't eff up on the paperwork. D= I really didn't get most of what people were saying.

Why am I so stupid and gullible..

American kids need a good old fashioned Asian whoop ass-ing. SO disrespectful!

I have a headache. I hate my job. People here are the most incompetent people in the world. I am hoping I find a new job so I can later on tell these stupid a-- people that they are the worst people I have ever worked with in my life and I hope their company burns to the ground. They ask too much and they underpay me! I hate my douchebag boss so much I wish I could key his douchebag Mercedes. I will in my mind.

john tesh you, mini cooperface of a brother.
when people ask me about my siblings, I only talk about my sister.

YOU don't exist to me anymore. mini cooperFACE.

I try to be strong, and just deal with it, but today everything just feels overwhelming. Why can't people just shut up about themselves and pay attention to how other people feel? I just want some much needed and deserved peace in my life and I am not getting it. I don't know how much longer I can put up with this chaos because it is really wearing me down. Doctors say absolutely no stress, if only they knew the drama my life has become.

I just need some serious quiet me time, where no one bothers me with their endless questions or stupid stories. Where I can sleep and not wake up to the sound of screaming kids( my evil cousins are staying with us), where I can just laugh and feel liberated. Today I am tired of it, and I just really need to be left alone. I need some peace for my soul before I have a meltdown.

I'm just praying that God releases me from this crazy situation and gives me some inner peace soon. I can't keep sacrificing my happiness for others forever. I need to live my own life, find my own path, and have some happiness that's all mine. I need my space. I need my quiet time. I need my alone time but I am stuck in this out of my control situation and today the exhaustion caught up to me.

I'm not a babysitter. I'm not a mother. I'm not a problem solver. I'm not a maid. I am not a doormat. I'm just a young woman trying to figure out my life. So I wish people would give me some room to breathe and figure it out. I wish people would stop trying to tell me what I should do and just let me find myself on my own terms in my own way. I am so tired today, so achingly tired of all this drama and noise.

Pay for something damn it

Sometimes I wish life had a fastforward button. This is definitely one of those times I'd press it.

I desperately need a job and I haven't been able to find one no matter how many time I apply and how hard I search.

I lost my financial aid and now I need to take out more loans to pay for school because I refuse to ask my parents for money. And I can't transfer back to the city because I've transferred before and I can't mess up my schoolwork anymore. I am on probation this semester and am in danger of getting kicked out of school. Education has never been my top priority and no matter how much I try to force myself, I don't think it ever will be. Though I am an optimist and believe that deep inside it will all eventually work out, I really don't know how that's going to happen.

Oh well.

It's so cold in my room....time to buy a blanket

why am I in the same cycle? Man this is getting way to boring for me.

I think I need to just get over it and move forward.

why is all this stress piling on me!? Why am I sick too!? why do I have to write this stupid paper!?!??! @#^%@#^@%$&@ damn, I should stop procrastinating, now I blame myself

Okay. Sorry.

But a PM would have sufficed.