1SwtDeception
May 22 2007, 08:31 PM
QUOTE
NOTE: RACIST JOKES ARE NOT TOLERATED. Do not post any racist jokes in here! People seem to think it's okay, but think again. Please read the rules and follow them. Same goes for non PG-13 sexual jokes. I am still monitoring this thread so keep that in mind. Warnings WILL be given. Keep the jokes clean, please and thanks!
- Poop-Shoop-A-Loop
Short Joke Thread
1SwtDeception
May 22 2007, 11:13 PM
bloo.
Jun 15 2007, 12:50 AM
So if I said,
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms!
and
Why can't Bob run?
Because he's a fish!
Would I be allowed to do that? Or is this thread for the threads with 5 lines? o_o
1SwtDeception
Jun 15 2007, 02:17 PM
QUOTE(bloo. @ Jun 15 2007, 03:50 AM) [snapback]6116584[/snapback]
So if I said,
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms!
and
Why can't Bob run?
Because he's a fish!
Would I be allowed to do that? Or is this thread for the threads with 5 lines? o_o
It is less than 5 lines so post them in here. And you notice how all the joke threads posted here are usually 2 liners anyways.
Ya`
Jun 22 2007, 05:45 PM
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
i thought that was pretty sad
fabrications.
Jun 29 2007, 02:51 PM
^Haha, yeah it is sad, but funny also.
YOURS2ENVY
Jun 30 2007, 05:07 PM
QUOTE(Ya` @ Jun 22 2007, 06:45 PM)
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
i thought that was pretty sad
I've gotta admit, that's pretty funny.
Saebin :D
Jul 2 2007, 06:30 AM
QUOTE
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
i thought that was pretty sad
rofl good one
chocopocky
Jul 13 2007, 01:06 PM
Hahaha. The Santa one is so sad.
I know some..
QUOTE
1. Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
Cause he was caught with seaweed.
2. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem
3. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
tomato=)
Jul 26 2007, 10:25 PM
Q:Why was the tomato blushing?
A:It saw the salad dressing
Q:What does the bee sit on?
A: It's BEE-HIND
Q:Why did the skeleton went to the movies by himself?
A:Because he had nobody to go with him
Q:What's the difference between criminals and mother in-laws?
A:Criminal are wanted
Q:What do you get with a fly, a pet, and a car
A:A flying cart pet
hahahha! me and my corny jokes! I SWEAR THEY WHERE FUNNY when i was really bored
hachi_x3
Aug 7 2007, 01:13 PM
QUOTE(Ya` @ Jun 22 2007, 07:45 PM)
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
i thought that was pretty sad
XD..so messed up. Still funny.
jefnevwild
Aug 25 2007, 09:59 PM
It rained when NOAA/NWS employees held a sports meeting
VBkirby
Aug 27 2007, 01:08 PM
Here's one I made. It's the kind of crummy joke you'd find in a christmas cracker.
Q:What do summer temperatures and high schools have in common?
A:They both have high teens.
foosh
Sep 19 2007, 12:52 AM
I'm going to open a clothing store called CHASM. Its going to be like GAP but way bigger.
I use to compete in a lot of sports until I found out you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything.
If I owned a bookstore, I'd make the mystery section really hard to find.
Saying "I'm sorry" is the same as saying "I apologize" ... unless you are at a funeral.
taebins_luver
Sep 19 2007, 11:42 PM
did you hear about the deaf guy?
cause he didn't either
did you see what happened to the blind guy?
neither did he
JayCy90
Oct 3 2007, 11:06 PM
---
*Break Into the House*
A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had
broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"No, no,no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house
without waking my wife. I`ve been trying to do that for years!"
***********
*Lost Wife*
The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and
asked,"You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" she asks.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of
nowhere."
***********
*Teacher*
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the
sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet."Now then mister, why
do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing
up there all by yourself."
***********
*Hearing*
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set
of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor
said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you
can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit around
and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
***********
*Wedding*
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of
her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.
The child thought about this for a moment,then said, " So, why is the
groom wearing black?"
***********
* Dream*
A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced enthusiastically
to her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for
Valentine's day! What do you think it means?"
With certainty in his voice, the man said, "You'll know tonight."
That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his
wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to
find a book entitled - " The meaning of Dreams".
Go.Omii
Oct 4 2007, 12:48 AM
QUOTE
---
* Dream*
A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced enthusiastically
to her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for
Valentine's day! What do you think it means?"
With certainty in his voice, the man said, "You'll know tonight."
That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his
wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to
find a book entitled - " The meaning of Dreams".
men....
so slow!! aishhhh
LOLLLLLL
jessecue
Oct 4 2007, 01:29 AM
LOL i agree...men just don't understand anything LOL
btw...can someone plz explain the hearing one?? i dun get it :S
xkrn4lyfx
Oct 4 2007, 10:02 AM
LOL
"then why is the groom wearing black?" LOLOL
o yeah and to the poster above me, it's because if you don't think someone is listening or can't listen, u talk how u really feel about them, so the old man listens to his family talking good or bad about him and keeps changing his will because they turn out to be assholes or good
mySUPER!
Oct 4 2007, 01:42 PM
LOLL I love the wedding one. xDD
puahahaha. omg, so true.
I kind of want to ask that to someone. lol
Apple.Mint
Oct 4 2007, 10:34 PM
lol these were funny xD
thanks for sharing =]
ii like the bride and groom one hahah
strawberry_hit
Oct 5 2007, 07:19 AM
hahaha i like the teacher, wedding and the dream one...lol
lupe
Oct 5 2007, 01:59 PM
lol.
these are so funny.
i had the last one in spanish. i think i like it in english better.
my fav was the teacher.
lucky*13
Oct 5 2007, 08:43 PM
QUOTE(foosh @ Sep 19 2007, 01:52 AM)
I use to compete in a lot of sports until I found out you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything
If I owned a bookstore, I'd make the mystery section really hard to find.
After I took your trophy advise, I now am really good at everything. LOL.
The jokes you posted are funny, very funny. (:
The little girl's questions.. -.-
"The meaning of dreams" Why are people like that?
I think the wife wants a better present than that on Valentines day.
Or her hudsband will go to work tomorrow with panda eyes.
--Christy. (:
lucky*13
Oct 5 2007, 11:01 PM
Double posted. -.- Sorry moderators.
jessecue
Oct 6 2007, 01:19 AM
QUOTE(xkrn4lyfx @ Oct 4 2007, 12:02 PM)
LOL
"then why is the groom wearing black?" LOLOL
o yeah and to the poster above me, it's because if you don't think someone is listening or can't listen, u talk how u really feel about them, so the old man listens to his family talking good or bad about him and keeps changing his will because they turn out to be assholes or good
oh icic thx now i get it
angelicious
Oct 6 2007, 01:32 AM
hehehe loved the teacher one xP
and the husband was an ass.. =]p
gyuls1
Oct 27 2007, 08:24 AM
CODE
<a href="http://www.maplestorymob.com/zone/maplestory/tools/l/432344/2" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.maplestorymob.com/zone/maplestory/tools/i/432344/2.gif" border="0" width="125" height="125"></a>
lucky*13
Oct 27 2007, 05:59 PM
^ Soompi doesn't work with that kind of html.
conscience
Oct 27 2007, 11:14 PM
QUOTE
*Hearing*
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set
of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor
said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you
can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit around
and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
QUOTE(jessecue @ Oct 4 2007, 05:29 PM)
LOL i agree...men just don't understand anything LOL
btw...can someone plz explain the hearing one?? i dun get it :S
the old man pretended that he couldn't hear to find out about who was eyeing on his property and who genuinely cared.
MeiaLovesHiro
Nov 10 2007, 02:13 AM
Can I post a GREEN JOKE here?
J O K E
del32
Nov 10 2007, 03:08 PM
the one about lost wife is funny
MeiaLovesHiro
Nov 11 2007, 02:48 AM
Q: What does a cow say whenever it is stuck in traffic?
A:
Beef beef! Beef beef!
thistle23
Nov 16 2007, 10:55 PM
Kids...
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of
apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's
Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
dekchampu
Nov 22 2007, 05:54 AM
What is mario's favorite time of pants? (mario and luigi... the little red dude)
DE-NIM DE-NIM DE-NIM!
MeiaLovesHiro
Nov 25 2007, 03:29 AM
Q: Why is Cinderella bad in sports?
A: Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she runs away from the ball
DanyAnnie
Nov 25 2007, 02:29 PM
haha I wanna do that teacher "Idiots stand up" one in my theory of knowledge class. I'd like to see how he'd take that punch!
jenniee
Dec 4 2007, 01:08 PM
what do gay horses eat?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY ~
Frenchy
Dec 5 2007, 05:50 PM
The deaf guy? It said Have you HEARD of the deaf guy? Neither did he. Just saying a deaf guy can't hear a joke. Just as a blind man can't see something funny happening.
soo_bak3
Dec 7 2007, 07:01 PM
I heard this one from someone. Its lame, but whatever.
---
Who is Soulja Boy's best friend?
YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU (HAHAHAHA yes, I know, so funny
)
dancingbymyself
Dec 7 2007, 09:19 PM
What did the guy fish say as he swam by the girl fish.
ODENG!!!!!
WujouMao
Dec 9 2007, 12:56 PM
1. what does E.T stand for? cos he's got short legs
2. a dog is for life, not just for christmas, so be carefull at this year's Christmas party.
3. why don't Russians wear boxer shorts? cos chernobyl fall off
4. why did the mexican kill his wife? cos he wanted tequila
5. what do you call a street with no indians, arabs, chinese, polish, kosovans? quality street
6. my Uncle died of asbestos poisoning - it took him ages for him to be cremated
7. i was shopping at Tesco's last night and i thought i saw you name on a loaf of bread, then i found out it said thick cut!!
soo_bak3
Jan 3 2008, 09:26 PM
QUOTE (dancingbymyself @ Dec 8 2007, 01:19 AM)
What did the guy fish say as he swam by the girl fish.
ODENG!!!!!
Smart, man.
---
What did the bus driver say to the eggs?
Gehdan Gehdan
1love
Jan 7 2008, 09:38 PM
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
ichigocutie
Jan 8 2008, 06:41 PM
what do gay cows eat?
HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYY!
if u dont get it its cus gay guys go like "HEEEYYYYY" in the really high girlyish voice
JetGirl
Jan 26 2008, 05:12 PM
whats a Shitzu?
It's a zoo with no animals.
yib
Jan 28 2008, 08:16 PM
I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.
I ate one anchovy and that is why I did not eat two anchovies.
If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.
Fettuccini Alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
Dogs are forever in the push-up position.
Mitch Hedburg RIP
Manyhx3
Feb 1 2008, 02:10 PM
little Tina: Dad i dont want to go to America
Dad: shuddup and keep on swimming
what's brown and sticky?
A stick!
QUOTE (ichigocutie @ Jan 8 2008, 06:41 PM)
what do gay cows eat?
HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYY!
if u dont get it its cus gay guys go like "HEEEYYYYY" in the really high girlyish voice
man stfu.
not all gay guys say that fu ck in sh1t
WujouMao
Feb 9 2008, 01:13 AM
i looked outside my window and saw my Mother-in-law getting beaten up by 6 girls.
my mate asked my if i was gonna help, but i said, nah, 6 is enough
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