SPOILER FROM ONTD_TWATLIGHT:well, my sister called me today while i was at work and i left everything to my coworker so i could take notes for ya'll. ida, my sister, started on page 84, which is the chapter the ISLE OF ESME which is apparently a tropical beachy place where edward and bella are honeymooning. idk exactly where it is bc we wanted to get straight to the secks lol
edward and bella are on a beach. bella talks about how the water is warm, almost like bathwater, so warm that edward's touch isn't frozen. she asks him something like "isn't the moon beautiful?" while standing in the water and he sighs and said "not in comparison to you" LOLFEST WITH MY SISTER
bella drones on and on about how in that moment, she realizes that her and edward are meant for each other "fire and ice existing together" etc etc blah blah... and THEN we get to the "good" part. edward tells her "i told you we would try" and they start kissing and embracing under the moon, and the reality of their ~true love~ comes crashing on them like waves... edward's feet make ripples in the water while he and bella make out and they share a passion so intense etc etc... but not before edward stops and says "promise to stop me if it's too much" and she's all "uh huh ya do me" and then he pulls her into deeper water, his hands tracing little shapes on the small of her bare back and...
FADE TO BLACK MOTHER john teshER! WHICH ONE OF YOU SAID THAT WOULD HAPPEN BECAUSE YOU WERE RIGHT!
to make it clear, bella is still in human form, unbitten if you will
so she wakes up the next morning, relishing in her utter and complete happiness while keeping her eyes closed, listening to the soft wind in the palm trees and the waves crashing on the beach. edward realizes she's awake and traces her spin ever gently with the tips of his icy fingers, but when bella finally opens her eyes she sees him staring straight up at the canopy, his jaw flexed and his eyes tense. bella's stomach rumbles, and he kind of laughs.
she asks him "wuts wrong bb?" but he doesn't say anyhting, he's just super pissed and pensive like the sullen cullen we know, and bella instantly starts internally freaking out thinking she did something wrong, until finally she's like "EDWARD WHAT IS WRONG I CAN'T HANDLE THIS mini cooper" and he's like, "bella, you broke your promise. i hurt you" and in her mind she's like, 'well, ya, actually my hips feel like they've been disjoined from my body and my muscles feel like jelly but it's not that bad' and then edward tenderly lifts up her arm to display bruises appearing on her fair skin in the shape of his fingers. lol, rough sex
bella repeatedly assures him that it was never too much and then notices, for some reason, that there's hundreds of feathers everywhere... down feathers. she looks at him quizzically and is like "feathers...? why?"
to which he replies "i had to bite a few pillows last night"
bella's own internal freak out starts in which she's scared the sex wasn't good for him. edward, aware of her distractions, asks her "what's wrong? i really did hurt you didn't i? i hate not being able to read your mind" and she's like "well, i don't really know how this works but... was it, you know, good for you?"
and he smiles that crooked smile and is like "the best evar"
and then he confesses to having talked to carlisle, emmett and jasper about everything and what to expect bc it's the one thing he's never experienced. carlisle explained that it's more than a physical bonding, it's much more than an intimate experience and that it's pretty much all around awesome. emmett and jasper said it's the second greatest feeling in the world - second only to drinking human blood, and bella's all "well you've drank my blood before" and edwards like "ya, i'll tell you last night was pretty damn awesome"
bella is super hungry so she makes some eggs. LOL SHE MAKES EGGS smiller your clever foreshadowing... when bella gets out of bed she realizes all the feathers in her hair makes it look like she murdered a chicken lol
edward is still being the emo little mini cooper that he is and vows to never sex her up until she's changed for fear of breaking her in half. bella is obviously not impressed by this, but time passes on the island - apparently they're their for a while but i made my sister skip the boring parts and jump to the fun stuff
sooo... skip a few paragraphs to a mildly graphic sex dream bella is having about edward, his hands roaming over her nekkid body, caressing her and sharing that intense emotional bond they did when they first did it and she wakes up next to edward, suddenly really pissed that her husband won't john tesh her lol. so she starts kind of crying and kissing edward, and he is horrified that she is crying as usual and he's like "what's wrong?" and she's like "i love you, edward, i need you in more ways than you can imagine plz do me" and...
he does. so they sex again but smiller leaves out the fun details. it's all very romantic, trust me.
bella wakes up again in the morning, john teshing starving again and edward laughs at her rumbling stomach - "breakfast time for the human?" bella laughs and agrees and was like "look, all the pillows survived last night"
and edwards like "i wish i could say the same for your nightgown" and points to several pieces of shredded black satin at the foot of the bed
bella frowns "i liked that one too"
and edward says "well, it looks like i'll have to buy esme a new headboard too"
and bella looks back to see that edward successfully ripped off a corner of the headboard lolololol
she gets out of bed and struggles with her equilibrium, as usual, and makes eggs. again. and realizes she's really only eaten eggs since she's been there. her and edward talk about dartmouth and what's going to happen next - what's the point in going? EDWARD asks. "you've held up your end of the bargain, and i'll hold up mine" and bella's all whooo!!! but they argue about how much TIME as usual, but i made my sister skip their stupid arguments and she assured me nothing too interesting happens there
fastforward a few pages and i'm assuming maybe another week or two? bella is talking on the phone with dr. carlisle cullen while kind of trying to hide it from edward (they're still on the island btw) and she's like "carlisle, i've been waking up feeling really sick, throwing up, and i've been crying all the time and having strange dreams... and i have these weird cravings!"
the dr. cullen side of carlisle jumps into action and he asks bella, "bella, when was your last menstrual cycle?"
bella, already prepared for this possibility tells him "16 days before the wedding"
and he's like "hmmm..."
edward with his super sonic hearing is all "WAIT WUT" but he's too petrified to talk but motions for the phone. bella gives him carlisle, and they start talking low and fast and bella can pick out
"is it possible? mmmhmmm... mhmmmhm"
bella is all freaked out. blah blah blah
edward hangs up the phone and gives bella a look of fear and - surprise? - and she's like "edward what is it!!!"
and he says "he thinks you're pregnant. we have to get home."
