I'm a freshman and I feel so much lonelyer in college than high school.
I see none of my friends anymore and I haven't made any new ones yet.

It's so hard to make friends cuz you have only like one class together only a few times a week..
and people are so wrapped up in their own business..


Anyone feel the same way??
How do you make friends in college??
Through clubs, etc//??

I kind of feel the same way I guess, but the girls on my floor are pretty friendly and we hang out and go to events and meals together sometimes. I'm pretty sure by this point that I won't actually be making any friends through classes, so it seems like clubs and the people who live around me are more likely places to look for friends. So don't give up--find people you have things in common with (intended major, clubs, other stuff) and use them to run into and talk to each other a lot. Works for me, although it hasn't really been long enough to make friends for me since it's still the first week of school. When you feel lonely, find someone else who's around and just strike up a convo if his/her door's open. And leave your door open and sometimes people will just wander in to talk or ask you if you want to go places with them.

on my first year of college, i felt the same way. as time goes on, i don't. i just go up to people and talk. that's how i made most of my friends.

A lot of my friends go to college and we hang out regularly, but all my high school friends that are going to different colleges are leaving and basically we have to keep like an internet erlationship now.. it makes me sad that their leaving.. Your best bet would to just go up and make some new friends, I know it isn't as easy as it sounds but if you feel lonely you shouldn't be afraid to make new friends, because feeling lonely sucks especially with long hours at school.

i'm in fourth year and i'm still feeling a bit lonely
first year... my friends were in my classes...then second year, we split off.
I made "friends" the last couple of years (we do homework together/check assignments/... i guess we're more like study buddies than friends) since I don't really have anything in common with them, we don't hang out outside school very much.
this year...I kinda just went on my own.... usually i say hi to everyone i know. but this year, i'm just getting so lazy that if they're not even looking at my direction i don't bother. (lol before i was happy to recognize anyone i just shout a greeting if they're within 5ft.)

How i met my friends:
say hi to ppl... check assignments. talk about random stuff. get contacts (msn). work together in projects.... it's probably easy for me because everyone takes the same "core" subjects in my faculty.

sometimes i feel this way, when i come back to my dorm no one is outside and i dont want to just knock on people's door and start a conversation. its so much harder to hang out with friends. making friends is easy but to be able to hang out together, is hard to do.

believe me, it takes a long time to meet real friends in college. because i'm on the quarter system, we only see each other for about nine weeks. the chances of us seeing one another again is very slim unless we make an effort to see each other. and people me, it's easier said than done.

i actually made friends working on campus. there, we all got to know each other and ur customers could be potential future classmates. it's like a social network when working on campus. it's a little tough because college students are difficult customers, but if you'd like to meet ppl, that's always an option.also, is there something ur really interested in? like photography or a particular language? i'm sure ur school has a whole bunch of clubs. look for something that ur interested in and attend the first meeting to see what it's like.

also, approach classmates with confidence. it can be pretty nerve wracking the first week of class having to introduce urself to everyone, but that's how it's going to be like every few months when a new quarter/semester starts. you just have to gradually build that confidence in urself. that's the most effective way of meeting people in college.sadly to say, it's much easier said than done. but that's what college is for, right? we're not only learning from books, but gaining valuable social skills that will greatly contribute to our future occupation. that's another form of motivation to be bold and randomly introduce yourself to people.

believe me, it takes a long time to meet real friends in college. because i'm on the quarter system, we only see each other for about nine weeks. the chances of us seeing one another again is very slim unless we make an effort to see each other. and believe me, it's easier said than done.i actually made real good friends working on campus. there, we all got to know each other and ur customers could be potential future classmates. it's like a social network when working on campus. it's a little tough because college students are difficult customers, but if you'd like to meet ppl, that's always an option.

is there something ur really interested in? like photography or a particular language? i'm sure ur school has a whole bunch of clubs. look for something that ur interested in and attend the first meeting to see what it's like.

also, approach classmates with confidence. it can be pretty nerve wracking the first week of class having to introduce urself to everyone, but that's how it's going to be like every few months when a new quarter/semester starts. you just have to gradually build that confidence in urself. that's the most effective way of meeting people in college.

sadly to say, it's much easier said than done. but that's what college is for, right? we're not only learning from books, but gaining valuable social skills that will greatly contribute to our future occupation. that's another form of motivation to be bold and randomly introduce yourself to people.

I sometimes feel that way too. I'm in a dorm that has a lot of friendly people (and consider myself one of them) but for some reason I feel kind of distant from everybody in some way. Maybe that's because it's still only the first month, and we haven't been able to become as close as I was with some of my high school friends. But liek I said, it's kind of early, I'm pretty sure thta it'll get better.

Not really...I mean I have friends from high school and friends I met here. I never really feel lonely..since every class I go to..I know at least one person in it. What a relief.

Oh, the fears are tingling. I don't start till 2 weeks from now, but still I'm afraid I won't be able to make friends.

I have an idea to go around each room on my floor with chocolates and introducing myself to whoever lives there. Hopefully I'll at least know who I'm living around instead of having no idea and just walking aimlessly as a "stranger" walks by.. And they might remember me as the freshmen who fed them chocolate. --; Er.. how sad.

aw i want to be your chocolates, i mean friend.
just wondering how come you're starting later than most places? most places already started

KCCC is always an option.

I know when it was my first year, I wasn't too afraid of not making any friends in class, but more about lunch. Cause you know how like back in high school all your friends have the same schedule so you guys sit together all for lunch and stuff. But in college, the few people you know have different schedules so they eat a different times. So sometimes you ended up eating by yourself, which gets kind of lonely. But pucker up. After some time you'll get to know more people, so it won't be too bad.

my college life is fun!
i would greet anyone i know. and thx my clssmates are friendly.

I totally feel the same. But in my case, it's just that people just don't want to talk to me.They're too stuck up. I mean it's not that hard to say "hi" to someone. Oh well, I don't need to be friends with that kinda people either. Soooo I guess it's all about the people you meet.

But to make friends how about joining a student association or a group that shares same interests as you. I would have if there was this kind of things in my college. I mean college is a great experience when you meet the right people so you should go for it.

lolz...i know exactly what you mean...it's my third week of school and i barely talk to anyone in any of my classes....lolz...when i do say anything they're kinda surprise that i speak at all...lolz...it's okay i guess, in high school it's easy because you spend four years around the same people, all heading in the same direction, in college it's a little different because that's when everyone are working hard on their own dreams...and they would have little time to really actually care about anything else...for me it's a bit harder since i also live off campus...but i've heard from a friend of mine that his floor is the only floor that really hangs out with each other, other people in his tower doesn't really do that...so i don't think i'm missing much...maybe things will pick up when you have to start studying for mid-terms and final exams...i'm pretty jealous of my friends back home cause most of them went to our local colleges and they see each other as if they're still in high school...lucky butts...lolz...but it's all good...i still keep in contact with them on facebook, myspace, etc...just gotta meet new people here....

i felt like that too and i felt very out of place because there aren't many asians in my college. I'm just glad my roommate is really chill. We hung out with each other, he introduced me to some of his friends etc. now I don't really feel that lonely although I do wish I knew more people. I'm not very good at meeting people and talking to them. I'm a very quiet guy haha.

Are you dorming or are you commuting because I know it'd def. be harder if you were commuting ><

anyhow good luck and dont be scared to talk to the person that sits next to you in class, just say "hi, my name is _____, whats your name?"

you should definitely check out a club or two. even though you might think they are lame or boring, the people you can meet at the club will be rewarding. i think the whole reason clubs exists in school is to make new friends, and not about the agenda of the club.

i kinda feel that way too

i know a lot of people but i haven't really found a group of people i feel close with and could chill with everyday

it seems as if everyday im chilling and eating with a different group of people

Kind of...but I don't like the majority of the people I've met which is probably why I haven't made any friends yet. Truthfully that's fine, I've never had that many friends...but I never could have imagined I'd miss my family so much.

It's hard for me to have ties with people since I come home every weekend [parents' orders] and I don't get to chill with them. I try to meet with them before and after class as much as I can. It's nice to have some buddies with the same classes so you odn't feel like you're drowning.

Next time you sit next to someone in class, go for small talk. :] And gradually build up the conversation the next time you see them in class.

I go to a campus where about 90% of the students commute to/live off campus.
So, I found that the best way to make friends is through clubs.
Usually there are icebreakers at the meetings so it's easier to get to know people. They have activities and events to go together on weekends. Lots more bonding time. I went to a meeting just last wednesday and made a few friends instantly. :] Even though I'm shy it was easier to make friends by going to club meetings.

I agree with you
i transfered this year to a state college because tution for the private college i was attending was just crazy. Its its soo hard to make a friend here. My old school was really small and im a biology major so you tend to see the same people in most of your classes so it was easy to make friends. Now since its a bigger school ill be lucky to see someone twice a week *outside lectures* or have them in another class. I usually have an easy time making friends and i do normally start small talks with people in my class but my sched is so all over the place that i either have just one class a day or a have a 5-6 hour gap so i just drive back home since i commute and it isnt that far. I think being a commuter makes it harder to make friends because the only reason you would stay after classes if you have another class coming up or you have friends to hang out with. But most of the time im just so tired or i have so much reading to catch up on i rather go home then hang around. i havent joined a club but i met a girl today in my anatomy class who is president of the biology club in out school so im thinking of joining that

i feel your pain!!
well i guess it's just tough that everyone has crazy schedules and are busy all the time that it's so difficult to meet up with friends in college.
i can honestly tell you that i was pretty lonely my first few weeks of freshmen year cuz i'm pretty shy, but it got a lot better esp after i talked things thru with my freshmen year roommate<3 i didn't expect to be so close to my random roomie, but i did :]

does anyone else have this situation: i hate it when i meet ppl and we have a lengthy conversation... the next time i see the same person and i say hi, but the person doesn't remember me -_____- and i say the situation we were in or the conversation we had previously and they STILL don't remember?!?!!! in my head i'm saying, "argg forget you...cuz you obviously forgot me!" lol

yeah..eventhough i made a handful of friends already..i somehow still fill distant..like i dont fit in or something..
oh well..hopefully it'll get better with time

I feel the same way too.

In high school, my friends would save a seat in the cafeteria for me. Now there's no one to save a seat for me and I have to eat alone.

Making new friends is hard too. I'm too shy to talk to someone first and nobody seems to be interested in talking to strangers.

I tried joining clubs but their outings never interest me so I don't go to them.

I totally feel lonely in college.

It's my second year in college but i'm now just living on campus. I had transfer to a different school but i'm thinking about transferring to another school next year. HAHA> Not really digging the new school.

I admit, i feel lonely most of the time. I only know one or two people from my classes. I can never met up with them because i don't have a car to met up with them at places. Usually when I'm out of my class they have classes.

It's hard to make friends in college. It's not very easy.
I feel lonely sometimes when my roommates isn't home. haha. I need people to talk to, or i'll be bored out of my mind. LOL

@Suigintou: The same goes for me. I'm just happy that college cafeterias aren't immature like high school ones. So it's okay to sit alone. ;P You could sit by another person who's sitting alone too. ;D I was gonna do that once...but didn't. And I ended up sitting with the dining staff (the cooks and servers). They were nice but I felt like a reject. OMG.


I don't have many friends at uni either. *loner* I'm a hermit in my room. LOL. Yeah...you're not the only one. And I'm glad I'm not the only one either. >o<;; But yeah, I think like some of you guys said, getting friends through student clubs and whatnot is best. Get in a club that's interesting to you and in most cases, you'll make some nice friends because you guys have something in common. ^^

As for me, the friends that I have now were only created because of a random 'Can I just hang with you' at Target. LOL. Yeah...strange but it helped a little.
Other than that, try to look welcoming or something. Note your posture and body language. Make yourself approachable. I realized how cooped up I am...haha. So people probably don't approach me like that. ;PPP

Smile. ^^

I'll be your buddy if no one else will! <3 PM me (anyone)!

Oh yeah, in terms of being lonely, I miss my family so much. *dies* I'm like, two hours away from them and on weekdays, I'm half an hour away from my dad. I have no transportation though. -o-;; Thank God I'm going home this weekend...anyone miss family?

Wear your SOOMPI shirt regularly around campus and see who you attract. Buy one if you dont have one.

mann i kno how u feel. i'm actually planning to transfer out to a school where one of my closest friends go to

im only on my second day of school, so i havent met anyone i immediately have interest with. like i talk to people but i havent met a friend

To be perfectly honest, I don't think it is hard to make friends in college...but it's true that if you are expecting long-term, then most likely that won't occur. Yet, each classmate is a potential "friend" who is just as nervous and new to the class as you are (unless they are repeating...), and we shouldn't be depressed by jumping to the conclusion that all your relationships will immediately end as soon as class is over. And if it does, it's not a bad thing, really. You'll meet more people and it's very fun to meet people from all kinds of backgrounds. Also, some people like to have 'space.'

But most importantly, if you're REALLY feeling "lonely" then you have to take a moment and ask yourself what you are doing that is 1.) isolating you from others and 2.) how come you aren't motivated enough to do something about it?

Once you nail down the reasons and resolve the issues. You can try to gain confidence and get the courage to approach people. It's simple, really. In class there are many opportunities like for example sometimes the teacher will ask you to partner up with people next to you. This is a great opportunity. So what do I do? Sometimes I totally neglect my work and just strike up a conversation right then and there with that person, u know us gals just love to chat - and how do I know what to ask? well, you just need to observe them - like with us gals - if she dresses a "certain way" - compliment her clothes or hair, or if they have great skin(!), lol - those compliments are the best. If he's/she's the "smart" type, then you obviously comment and say something like "i'm so lucky, I got paired up with the smartest person here - let's always be partners...or something corny, lol - ppl love their egos to be stroked right? Get on people's good side and wah lah! you end up talking to them during class, break and after class - and it's a "friendship" - maybe a short one? maybe a long term one? But whatever it turns out to be at least it's something compared to nothing, right? Another example for a conversation starter is let's say the professor says something really dumb - then you can turn to the person next to you and smile and crack a joke about it. Make eye contact, smile, introduce yourself, shake hands, etc. So just be creative - you can even initiate a study group and invite everyone sitting around you (this way you can get everyone's number and email addresses) - you'll be surprised at who shows interest and the diverse kinds of relationship you can form.

*I have this friend who constantly complains that she's too popular - so, trust me, nothing is more annoying than that! lol.
But, seriously, once I realized that I was the one that was causing my loneliness, it became really easy for me to say "hi, what's up?" ah yes, and remember SMILE SMILE SMILE (even if you're "lazy," and you don't want to put in the effort or if you're too shy - just smile/laugh with eye contact - it's the best way to get someone's attention.)
Oops! I always write way too much. this was probably too much info. for everyone, but hopefully it can be helpful!

ooo i was like you too, right after highschool me and my friends split but we still keep in touch since we all live in the same city or lived near the same city lol.

omg yeaa.. college is soo boring.. i havent met any new pplz. yet..
maybe its cuhz i go to 2 yrs nd after class i just leave.
i hate college. actually its not thatt bad but i miss highschool.
cant wait till i transfer to unlv next year :]

ahh i feel exactly the same way, i find im most comfortable in the core subjects because thats the people i get to see the most, i guess its because the classes are "smaller" while my 1 of my classes is 1900 people! how can you expect to meet anyone there? lol and i usually leave right after classes too

oo and 1 of classes doesnt have much asians,the other people just ignore me T.T

thank god i only have to eat lunch there for 1 day......-.-where in HS my friends and i would always eat lunch at 1 place, ahhh the good times~

I feel the same, but the club meetings are usually on when im at home. I usually don't start classes til the late afternoon so i don't really know what to do until my class start. Any ways I should go to CSU and make friends but the problem is half the people there are doing homework or attached to their lap top (like me) and others stick with their friends who speak the same language as them =/

So i just go to class and go home.

rofl iam too busy with school and work, i didn't even care about having friends or not

its all good guys and girls, i feel the same way! socal sucks! lawl... NORCAL for lifee

yea, but that's because I commute. It's a lot easier to make friends if you live on campus. You're like forced to if you do IMO. But I commute, and it sucks! Ive met a few ok people though, nice and all but the whole thing that I don't even live in the area kind of kills it.

Best advice I can give is talk to people you sit next to in classes and such. you don't need to be best friends but it's a very good thing to just know the people youre in school with

My parents forced me to bring a box of mooncakes with me. A HUGE box of mooncakes. aiiish. I'm supposed to give them to all my dormmates on the night of the mid-autumn festival. Unfortunately, I don't really like most of them and I don't really feel like explaining a thousand times that it's safe to eat the egg yolk in the middle. Maybe I'll just sit in the middle of campus and hand them out to random asian passerby.

As for the thread topic, this is my fourth day into college orientation week and I haven't made any new friends. Yeah. It's kind of hard. And lonely. My best advice is either to be lucky (which is pretty occasional) and most importantly, to be confident (which I am not).

^^ yeah..it would be weird because some of them might think that u are being so random..
unless they know about the autumn festival and such

This thread makes me feel good xD.
Actually, uni starts on Tuesday, and I'm deadly nervous and sad and crap. I have to go study to a completely unknown city in a completely unknown island, leaving my family and friends in my hometown. And I'm a very shy, quiet, confidence-lacking girl, so I'm afraid I'll end up sitting alone in class with no one to talk to and feeling lonely, missing my family and friends like crazy. Besides, I'll live off campus, which will make me feel even more lonely.
Geography sucks.

So, yeah, it feels good to know I'm not the only one in that position...

omg im not alone! lol..

this is my third week at college but i stil feel so miserable

i mean yeah, i did make friends and whatnot but i dont feel as comfortable and stuff as i was in high school. In frosh yaer of HS, i had to make new friends b/c there were two other towns coming to my HS but idk, all my friends at the time just clicked. here not so much.. idk if its me or them lmao, idk ahhh

i really..really want to go back in time and relive my senior year of hs LOL

well i'm new to college-life as well. But my roommates are really friendly and sweet. When i don't spend time w/ them, i'm usually alone also. But i still feel lonely b/c it's far away from home. Yet everyone is so happy here... so far. It's a pretty nice feeling to have your own scedule that you picked and having to say 'HI' to your neighbors. NEIGHBORS!!! that's it! You should say hi to your neighbors more.* i'll do that as much as possible too... good way to make friends.. and they're close by also. but yeah, i'm usually alone most of the time also, it's good to go out biking and stuff... ^^ good luck and have fun!

I feel that way too TT___TT

My roomate's quiet and is usually on her pc 24/7

The only other person I really know is my friend from high school...her housemates are party animals (?) and she's not a party person so we usually hang out together. I miss my 1 year old nephew and I can't drive to go home on the weekends. I'm about a bit over 2 hours away from home.

I guess I feel lonely, but I'm pretty okay. I'm determined to only devote my self in getting my homework done and concentrate on my next 4 years.

You can have people around and still feel alone. College sucks, I have friends but even though I have friends I still feel like im all alone. =|

^ i so agree!
i only have like 1 good friend so far, others are just purely aquiatances ...

did i mention most of my university is international students o.o; they all speak mandarin and i wish i can speak english once in a while like in HS...

ooo and they have soooo many koreans here too XD but they just hung in their own lil circle

Be more involved in school clubs, maybe?

yea i feel like a loser sometimes on the weekends because im not a big party goer or anything and i only have 1 or 2 good friends i hang out with.