My mom has always been strict and although it was a bummer when I was a teen, it's downright infuriating and embarassing now that I'm 23. I know there are parents out there who are stricter but at least in my general circle of friends, nobody's parents are as strict on them as my mother is on me..I live at home for a couple of reasons: I attend grad school within travelable distance from my house so we felt it was a waste of $ to buy an apt for me...secondly, I did not want my mom to be alone (my parents are divorced and my brother is 500 miles away @ college). Yet I just don't know why she is still so freakin strict on me..she scolds, complains and basically makes a huge deal when i go out on the weekends, thinking that once a week is too much (wtf?) and she doesnt approve of the things I do, saying I'm too old to always be hanging out @ bars and clubs and staying out late at night..I'm sorry..but logically speaking, if 21 is the legal age to do these things in the first place, and I'm 23 and to her I'm too old..that means the only time its appropriate to do these things is when I'm only 21? Anyway, I do other things to that do not involve drinking/partying (which I dont do often anyway) but she basically gets pissed off when I step foot out the house to something other than school/work/relative's house or being dragged around by her running errands. I can't do this, I'm going INSANE and can't talk any reason into her because she feels like I'm being "too rebellious" and "overally critical of her parenting skills". None of my friends understand and I'm tired of complaining to them and being such a drag. I try and study every night IN FRONT OF HER so she can see for herself that I'm not all about playtime..I wake up for school/work everyday and get there early/on time. I just don't know how to proove to her that I'm not a 13 year old anymore. what must I do? is this ever going to end? will I have to earn millions and be able to support her and myself fully/get married before she cuts my chains loose???

Ever since I remember, my delegated all parental responsibility to my Mom. My mother used to have me on somewhat of a short leash until I was early teens, but after that, she cut me loose. Her favorite phrase was, "Remember, it's your life. Not mine". She never told me to do homework, schoolwork, or said anything about who I befriended. But she did try to encourage me to do certain things that would be beneficial. I rejected 30% of her suggestions, and she was cool about it.

I'm 30 now, and I think her hands-off approach worked out ok for me. Would I be a more successful, more well rounded person if she had be more hands-on? Maybe. But it could've been opposite, because I hate it when people tell me what to do.

lol.. Just go through with what you're doing, she'll understand it soon enough that you're on your own. I mean the way I see things is, if you don't listen to her and show her first hand that you're able to take care of yourself, then you'll be fine.

Yes, my parents are still monstrously strict. They have me call on Friday and Saturday during the day if I go out and can't call at night... if I don't, they start calling at 9pm non-stop until I pick up. They also have this deal they won't "support" me if I don't keep a 3.7 GPA (in one of the most competitive engineering schools in the US...); I mean, I already have a full ride scholarship... but you badger me about my GPA? They also freak out about safety, me driving, and still expect daily calls on weekdays. I'm a 20 year old college student going to school 4 hours away, it's not that big of a deal, but they still have this constant over-protective presence.

Yeah, that's just a few of the things... still get a lot of heck from home over my life, hopefully it'll lighten up when I graduate.

My parents are less strict since I've graduated and am in the workforce, however, if I spend anything, they go ape mini cooper. Anything from exxy dinners, to buying KFC twice a week.

>_<

I can't smoke, drink, stay overnight, have sex, etc. until I'm out of the house.
I live here because my university is close to home too.

Just obey your parents so they can be happy. Once you graduate, all the freedom is yours.

As someone who's gone out with girls in their late 20s who still had curfews and, in one case, a mother who made her go to church whether she wanted to or not, you have my sympathies (oh, and care to guess what nationality those girls were? lol).

Gee, I guess in America you can't even shack up with a guy and then tell mom you spent the night with some friends in the jimjilbang, can you?

My parents are very traditional. But they are not that strict on me. I don't go out every night. Only on weekends.

This is one rule I live by: What my parents don't know won't hurt them.

I know for sure, my parents have some idea of what I am doing. We just don't talk about it and they don't need to know. I'm damn sure they don't want to know about it either.

I'm not Asian. I'm African-American. My parents suck. My dad..wow. Let's say parenting isn't for him. My mom's not a good parent, because she hasn't let go of her own childhood. How they are used to bother me, but I'm over it.

Eh, decided to delete my post. It sounded more like a rant. Sorry

I don't know about my parents. They're not strict but it's not like they don't care -- my mum and I are very close so she pretty much knows everything about my life. But they can definitely get overprotective... It's mostly that they worry about my future more so than I do -- all asian parents want their children to succeed, but at some point, it gets incredibly stressful and suffocating.

I used to have a curfew until I was about 22. My parents were actually pretty strict with me all throughout high school and even in college. But one day, I realized that I had no more curfews, no more phone calls asking who/what/when/where/why, no more nagging about sleeping late or sleeping in, no more arguing about never being home, etc. I thought I would never see the day where I would have my own freedom, but I did, eventually. I think it just takes time. But then again, all families are different. I have a friend who's turning 25 this year, but he's still on lockdown, which is sad to see.

my parents are pretty strict ever since i can remember. as my sibling and i grew up, they got more stricter. they keep telling us when to take a bath, when to eat, what to eat, when to sleep, when we should study, what we should study, etc. if we don't do what they tell me to do, they will get mad and start yelling and will call us names. they keep on calling us stupid ever since we were a child. in college, they keep saying that "my sibling and i will not have a life. you don't know how to think. you don't know anything. you don't even study. you are so stupid. so forth." if my sibling or me does something they don't like, the both of us will get punish and yell at.
my parents live by this favorite phase, "i am right and you are wrong."

ex: my sibling was playing video games. my mom told my sibling to go and study. my sibling didn't do it. my mom started getting mad and turns off the tv and unplug the video game system and takes it away and they start calling us names.

I'm 26, so you can take my advice or throw it out the window if you want. It is your life and you are going to do what you want and your parents are goign to be your parents.

I don't live with my parents, however - I do live 2 houses away from my mom. I know, it's expensive and stupid for me to do that but the truth is - I can't live with my parents, they drive me nuts.

If you live at home - you have to follow their rules, no ifs, ands or buts about it - it's their rules. When you're independant and on your own, have fun and do as you like but while you're in their house - you have to be respectful because guess what? you're on their dime. If you're working and earning money and you go out on your own money - thats good but lets be truthful here, that money would be spent towards food and rent/bills if you weren't living on your own.

I knwo that being trapped sucks, and going out once a week isn't bad at all - but you have to be respectful of it. my mom was a little more calm of me going out if I told her where I was going, tell her when I'll be home, and she knows the friends that I'm going out with. She's met them, has had dinner with them, has talked to them - she wants to be sure I'm being smart and safe, its what every parent wants for their kids. If you rebel like a teenager you'll be treated like a teenager and as long as you live at home - you'll have to deal with it.

That being said, I moved out, I pay my own bills - I live by myself. My mom still tells me what to do. I don't have to do it, I don't have to tell her my every move, and I don't have to say a word to her if I choose not to because I dont live with her. I pay for her car, not the other way around. The truth is? I still do everythign I said above. I tell her where I'm going, I call her when I get home, I have dinner with her almost every night I'm not in school or have plans with a friend. She has met most, if not all of my friends. She still complains about my going out sometime but she has also learned to trust me and trust that I'm not being irresponsible. I'll even invite her to go out with my friends and me when it's just a dinner and movie night so that she can see what we're like when we're out. It's respectful.

I'm assuming you're asian and I'm assuming your first generation or half generation like me. It's a thin line we have walk and it's hard, - it's never easy, and it's never fair but we also have to consider that our parents raised us and they gave us a lot. Even at 23 and livign at home - they're still doing a lot for us. So you have to respect them, because they're doing it out of love.

If you dn't like it, and you can't appreciate and understand it - Move out, live on your own, and see how hard it is. someday you'll understand.

^ very nice post. i wholeheartedly agree

questions987 said all that has to be said ^__^

But I think your parents will still gossip and fume about things you do no matter what Even if you're out of the house! That's how it is with my older sister, who's 24...XD...I dunno how they find these things out, but my mom's got a whole NETWORK out there! Just...don't pay any mind to it

my parents are still strict, im 22 and i still get curfews =.=;; cant afford to move out on the income i have now ....

my parent's said life was short, so they gave me a ton load of freedom.
sometimes i'd feel like they didn't care enough, and when they did...it was just scary.
so i made my own rules for me to follow. life is dandy!

no. my parents were never strict. i could do whatever i wanted. seriously. no rules, no 'grounding', no nothing. which kind of explains why i get easily pissed off. i'm so impatient. hahaha, it shows mostly in the workplace... every little thing a customer does pisses me off.

today at work...

man: you should become a school teacher
me: uh why?
man: ordering people around like that
me: *roll eyes*

idk, move out and say you'll come back when she stops smothering you.

i don't think my parents has ever been strict on me. its kinda sad, sometimes you want that strictness and discipline to let you know they care for you. lol

HEY! Believe me, I know exactly where your thoughts derive from.
You want to be like a family-oriented nurturer to your mom but she's just not accepting you
for who you want to become, am I right on the money or what?
Well, my story's that same way.
It's like no matter what I do, my mom thinks of me as a nut.
But, take it the real traditional korean way, cause a korean's a korean no matter how
you put the life of the game together.
If talking to her and all the mushy bullcrap doesn't work, just do obeisance to her.
Even the Bible says: "Obey your parents, and all will go well with you. It's the first commandment"
And that's just how necessary it is to a family's health! If you want to stronger family tie,
you have to live with the crap too and survive.
Try living out on your own- sure you can party your ass off, but who will care for your needs or
worry and tend to you like your mom? NOBODY out there's as good as FAMILY! remember that!

Not strict but very traditional. To be honest, they were never fully around when I grew up. It's just ironic that they started putting their two cents in as I'm older. I follow their simple rules and help out, but they're too old fashion and they live too much with their burdens. My mom is aganist me moving out and living on my own, and I bet, my dad would follow along.

Really? It's exactly the trend to be the opposite for us here. Usually, korean parents are like "Get the hell out of my house when you're 18.
Get your own car, pay your own insurance, earn your own money." It's rare that they over-shelter, I mean literally materially. In your case, I think your parents just care about you alot. Maybe one of the reasons why is because of the economy these days. They just want the best future for you and worry alot, you know?
Personally, we used to be on welfare when I was little. My parents were always complaining of being sick and never had the money to buy me pretty clothes- I always wore hand me downs. But I think it made me a better, stronger nicer more responsible and less reliant person. I'm more individual than my younger brother- who's spoiled rotten.
So, in the end- to wrap up in a nutshell, my mom who's the only parent surviving now, chooses me over my brother when it comes to inheritance, driving the new car, running the errands and stuff... It means she had been watching me all along and I gained the trust! At any rate, you should NEVER give in to those nasty friends who pretend to be your best friend by telling you otherwise- to break away family ties and go independent. That your parents are child abusers and not to take any more s*it... That's a backstabber there.

My mom was strict, then she wasn't, now she is. It's weird because when I used to come home at 4am she wouldn't say anything but these days I'll come home at 12am and she'll flip. I didn't do anything to loose her trust but she's back to the over protective mother she used to be back in the days.

Yep, she gets mad when I "stay out too late". Late being 12AM to her.

Can't really do anything about it though, I live in her house, her rules.

I can't really move out without feeling guilty either. Divorced parents etc etc.

i think no matter what age you are your parents will always be somewhat strict on you but as you get older they seem to let you get away with bullshti that they wouldnt before... but some parents just dont know how to let go. im glad mine isn't one of those. lol

My parents have never been really strict on my, of course when it comes to education they act like every other (asian) parent...

They even encourage me to go out more and drink more (not when I have to drive of course)
I lived in dorms for 4 years, but this year I came back home (have to commute 3 hours a day to school though) cause i'm feeling home sick and miss the food my parents make.

My parents have always been pretty laid back. My parents never made a big deal when I didn't get straight A's in grade school. As long as they were A's and B's (and an occasion C here and there), they were fine. They never expected me to go to Harvard or any Ivy League, but as long as they were good enough grades to let me pursue what I wanted in life later on. They didn't care that I didn't want to become a doctor, engineer or anything like that. As long as I major in something that will give me a decent salary and a stable job, they were fine by it. They just say things like, "Just remember, only you can decide your future," "Don't come back and say that I didn't warn you 30 years from now, because I did," etc.

They don't care that I go out (matter of fact, they encourage it when I'm back at home since I stay home a lot; I live in the dorms in another city), but they do care about how late I stay out til, who I'm hanging out with, where I'm going, what time I plan on going back, etc. I guess safety and concern and things like that never go away.

my parents are, ever since i was younger to this day they are still the, altho i will admit they did ease up JUST a tad ever since i started rebelling in my teen years -___-, but their still worse than anyone elses parents ive ever met. im not kidding or "exaggerating"

my parents are still strict today as they were back in the day. but looking back i am glad they were strict to me and my sibs

Well, my parents are not that strict on me, but on my younger brother. kkkkk
He's the youngest and the only boy in my family.
U know, boys doesn't do their homework and play around when they were teenagers, /even as adults/ so my parents don't like that. ha ha
For me, I was a good student and stuff, I didn't make them worry, so they didn't scold me when I'm home late even it was 2 AM or 3 AM.
But they scold my brother when he comes home 10. kkkk

Yes, not my parents, just my mom. My dad usually just follows.
Recently, this past year, my mom has been extremely irrational and always angry. I think menopause is coming up. They say that menopausal symptoms can begin 10 years before it actually starts... hahaha

when you're living with your parents they have all the rights to reprimand you..

My parents are probably more overprotective than yours. I'm also in university and still living with my parents. I've talked many times about moving out, but I know financially I'm not capable of living on my own. The only thing I can do right now is tell them that I'll be leaving after I graduate. They don't believe me. They say I'm only allowed to leave after I get married. I'm 20 years old and have a 10pm curfew. My dads view on friends is, "Who needs them? You'll eventually go your separate ways, so what's the point of spending your time, energy, and money on people who will eventually leave you?" Furthermore, having a boyfriend is like signing a death wish. The poor boy would be expected to propose within a years time. Furthermore, the minute we start dating I need to introduce him to my parents. Also, how am I supposed to meet guys when my Dad tells me not to waste my energy on friends? I love my parents but sometime I wish they would let me live my own life.

yes my parents specifically my mom is really strict. i'm 21 turning 22 soon and i feel like i'm 12.

it's embarassing when i hang out with my boyfriend (2 years younger than me) and his friends and i would be the only one getting a phone call from my mom. and i'm not talking about one phone call. and she lectures me over the phone.

she doesn't like it when i'm studying outside of the house. she checks up on me and if i don't call her to tell her where i am, she flips and goes psycho. all this calling goes on before 11pm. WOW. imagine that. getting screamed at by my mom in front of 19 year olds. so am not going to do this to my own child.

man i can't wait until i transfer. FREEDOM!!! (reminds me of a scene from Braveheart)

you're not going to want to hear this, but i think as long as you're living under their roof, you have to respect what they demand of you (especially curfews). or at least make a compromise--say you'll limit it to certain times a month and up to a certain hour, and that you'll take a taxi or take some sort of precaution when you're out. if your mom maintains her rigid rules, and you can't tolerate that, then it's time to move out, as difficult as that may be for both sides.

my parents don't bother me about my social activities or otherwise, since i don't live with them anymore. but i hate the fact that they still think they have control over me and my choices, and that they know what's best for me. it's patronizing and drives me utterly insane. i sometimes feel like they don't always have my best interests in mind.

My parents pretty much let me do my own thing after I started high school. They trust me enough to make my own decisions.

If they suddenly wanted be strict...they can't do much anyway since I live 3000 miles away.

-Yuki

i feel for you, but i can see where your mom is coming from too. you're basically the only one she has left now who's with her so she's just scared for you.

as for me... nope. my parents are cool with me as long as they know i'm safe. it's my sister who's strict with me.

example of a phone convo (i'm out and it's getting late):

sis: (soft, pleasant voice) hello, good evening.
me: booie!
sis: (shriller, screechier, witchy voice) and what the heck are you still doing outside?! IT'S DARK OUT! YOU BETTER COME HOME IN 5 MINUTES! YOU blah blah blah...

that's why i think my parents leave me alone.

Back in highschool they used to be really strict ie; can't get home too late, no sleepovers, no staying up too late. Now they're fine with me doing what i want, they trust that i'm old enough to make my own decisions, know what's right and not.

my parents are not strict on me anymore, i can do whatever i want as long as i go home the next day, sometimes i don't even let them know where i am, never got a called yet though unlike my sister who was not seen for 12hours+ which was unusual since she is home all the time, lol. but anyway are parents are cool to us now since we are old, well except for my 9 y.o. sister

i guess we dont know what go through our parents head until, that time we are parents aswell then we can comment on them.. lol.. dont want to get there any time soon.

i know how you feel!!!
its like they want me to act like an adult (which i do!) but the refuse to treat me like one!!
but my parents have always been strict on me also, so much to the point where i couldn't even join any school activities when i was younger...lol..they still rant whenever i participate in any college activity also...its ridiculous.

My mom is probably one of the most laidback parents I know of. She was a young mom who always want to doll me up. so when I was younger(middle school), she didnt care if I get any percings, dying my hair, or putting on eyemakeup, as long as it is tasteful. She want me to do well in school of course, but I always have good mark so she didnt care, and really proud when I was the first on to get into University in my family. Boyfriend wise, she didnt want me to have one until after college, but I dated one since junior in hs, and now i'm junior in college, and she finally trusted him a while ago. There was no solid curfew times but nowadays I stay with my bf on campus for severals day during the week but come home during the weekends. She want me to do pharamist but i told i rather do economics, but she just want me to become a baller lol.

OMG yeah. they still call me whenever i'm out pass ten o clock.. yell at me when i'm still awake in the middle of the night.. sighs..

Eh..Mah..Gahd.. that sounds just like my parents. Da hail... I'm 22 now, and graduating this year but I have the feeling that they're not going to stop.
The whole phone thing drives me nuts too... My dad calls and expects me to pick up no matter what. If I was in the shower, there's like 20 missed calls and the phone's still ringing LOL
It drives me insane. I'm glad that I'm not the only one.. T_T

Maybe a little bit but not as much as when I was young.

My parents are super strict-always have been. I haven't moved out because I can't afford to. They think that going out once a week is already TOO much-that cooking and cleaning is "fuN" for me and instead should be my recreational outlet. My curfew is supposedly at 9:30 PM, but I never follow it. I try to abide by their other rules, but after a long week of school and work...I need to unwind. Unwinding does not include cleaning up the whole house and cooking for the family always. I do wash the dishes, grab some groceries, take my mom shopping, cook, and tidy up the house whenever I have a chance. Lately I've been even more restless...

My parents are pretty strict since they are pretty traditonal.
I'm 20 years old and I'm not allowed to go out at night after 12am.
Usually when I go out, I'm suppose to be back by before 12am so most of my friends call me Cinderella LOL

They're only strict about me going out at night, dating but they're pretty chilling on how I dress and put on make-up.
I was allowed to dye my hair & put on make-up around grade 9. They didn't care how I dressed in highschool (mini-skirts + heels)

i'm going through the same thing right now.....i hate it! i dont even know what to do...my mom wants to cut off my phone lol i have to be home by 11:30, she picks and choose my friends...she'll only like my bf the first few times than suddenly just hates him! for no real reason(s) at all...it doesn't make any sense to me...I need help too!>.< I wish life would be different..i guess you learn to live with it until you can be on your own! My friends told me "when you're able to get a career, be rich, and successful than she can't control you anymore!" ^^ good luck!

^ Ef I would give anything to be out until 11:30.

Are my parents strict? No.
My aunt and uncle: Hell yea.

I'm living with my aunt and uncle and they are hella strict. I am twenty years old and I have to be home by 10pm. And that's pushing it. They're prefer me be home before it gets dark.