What is your race/ethnicity?

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?



A while ago, I was out with some friends watching a lion dance in Chinatown NYC. I made a remark saying that I would love to be a part of that dragon. My friend replied "Ew, but thats so Asian" And she was Asian herself.That made me think, how can something be too "Asian" for an Asian person? Sometimes I feel that my friends (Mainly minorities in the U.S) have been brainwashed by the media. Saying that their traditions are wierd, and their language sounds funny and that their culture is not normal. Eventually some people believe it, and I feel sad when I see it. Does anyone else feel the same way?

If you've lived in the US, grown up in the US, speak English everywhere you go and live your life generally in an American fashion it's completely understandable that one would identify MORE with being American than Asian. Especially if you've never lived in Asia, maybe only visit every other summer or some such, rarely speak the language at home, etc.

My mother doesn't speak spanish even though she's puerto rican. I do. I will teach it to my children. They'll decide if they want to use it or not. I personally don't even use it that much because none of my close friends speak it, none of my family speaks it and even the few hispanic friends I do have, we all speak english to each other.

I was raised by several different families, my own parents were only in the picture part of the time. I've been afforded a fantastic freedom from social norm responsibility just from being multiethnic and never living in one country longer than 2 or 3 years. I would give my own children no less freedom.

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?

I think my parents gave me some-what of a base as to how I will teach/raise my children. There are still a few things i'd do differently but i'm sure it's easy for me to say this now. I bet it'll be a lot different when I do have kids and I have a feeling i'll understand my parents. I may say that i'll give my children as much freedom as they want now, but I know 100% it'll be different when I have kids of my own. I don't think i'd give them 100% freedom. I'm their parent for a reason and i'm there to guide them.. not throw them into the world and let them do whatever they want. I think as parents it's important to show your kids what the limit is. What you can/can not do. That's the way my parents raised me and I think I turned out okay.

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?

I'll try to teach them as much as I know. I think it's important to know your culture.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?

Definetly. I think it will benefit them in the future not only as a person but I have a feeling it'll help them in the future. I'm not saying they'll be horrible people for not knowing their own language but my parents always said to me that if a Korean person can't speak Korean then they are not Korean. Haha. They're just saying that to get me to learn Korean but I think it's important to know your roots. Yes, we live in America but that doesn't mean we should give up our culture and who we are because of it. I think everyone should be proud of who they are and not forget who they are. I am in no way saying that anyone should be proud of who they are to the point they think they are better than everyone else. I think it's important to learn about yourself and then embrace other cultures.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?

Depends on the conflict. I guess i've always learned to obey my parents so I suppose i'd do just that. It's not that i'm brainwashed or anything like that.. it's just that I know my parents wouldn't put me into a conflict where i'd have to choose between family and what I want. Obviously if I know that what my parents are asking me to do is completely WRONG i'd try to talk to them about it but that has never come up in my 22 years of living because my parents aren't like that at all. I know my parents know between right and wrong as do I so our family beliefs don't really conflict.

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?
I will probably raise my kid the same way my parents raised me. Maybe with some minor differences.

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?
I will definitely teach my kids the traditions and values of my ancestors and family.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?
I can speak the language of my race and I will teach my kids to speak it also.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?
I don't really understand the question but I'll try to answer. If I'm in conflict with a family member I will try to compromise. If compromising is impossible in the situation I would ask a relative, who we both respect, to give his/her opinion on the subject matter.

My heritage is very important to me, after all, it shaped who I am today. I did grow up in my home country so it's probably a different experience. What I've noticed is that a lot of immigrants or children of immigrants do try to hold on to certain traditions and beliefs in an attempt to stay connected to their ancestry, whereas, people in that country may now think differently.

Culture evolves and I think it becomes static to an individual when the person relocates. A simple way would be that if one isn't really that connected to their country via travel, relatives, internet etc etc, 10 years after relocating, they are still wearing what might now be considered old fashioned clothes in the country they emigrated from.

Assuming I do get marriage (cos the future is not promised),

I'll raise my kids the way I feel best. There are some things I like about how I was raised and some others I don't. It really doesn't have that much to do with my culture but mainly to do with my parents' personalities.

Yes, they will learn values but many of them are universal - respect, honor etc etc. There are also somethings I won't teach them like consciously or subconsciously treating women like second-class citizens.

Language - only time will tell. My husband will speak a different language so I think it's something we'll have to figure out together.

My nuclear family comes first. My husband and I will decide what's best for us.

I'm making my kids go to chinese school like I did. haha!!

Otherwise, I'm not gonna think about how to raise my kids and worry about it at that time.

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?

Yes and no.

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?

Yes. For instance my SO wants to raise our kids with church and even though I'm pretty much the antichrist, I will tolerate that because I respect other people's beliefs. We will allow them to choose whether or not to continue with Christianity when they become older.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?

Yes. Being able to speak multiple languages is an advantage any way you look at it. Also, I wouldn't want my kids to resent not being taught the language. They may feel alienated not being able to speak to and understand other people of the same ethnicity and identity issues may arise from that.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?

Life is about compromises, that's all there is to it.

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?
Pretty much. The number one duty is to the family


Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?

Oh definitely. I find that too many traditions and knowledge of one's culture is falling by the wayside. Especially for asian children born in western countries. That's not to say that my children will have live their lives according to what tradition and culture dictate but I think it's necessary for them to know and understand them so that they don't become lost. Also when they return to the birth place of the family at least they'll be able to connect to the long history of their people


If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?
I'll make sure that my children know how to speak our language. It's another way for them to connect with their heritage

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?
That's never happened yet, probably because I think my belief aligns with the family's so well that conflict never arises.

Yes to all three.

If I end up marrying someone who's not Chinese.. it'll pretty hard for the kids to learn their native language fluently. I think most kids learn languages from hearing it at home. But will deal with that when kid-having-time comes along. English-only is not an option.

In any case, I swear I'll never have or raise kids in this country.. bloody hate this place for anything beyond the almighty dollar, and can't imagine it working out well.. when it comes time to start a family, it's back home to either Hong Kong or Canada.

i laughed at your friend saying, "ew, that's so asian." to the lion dance thing. ehehehe. wtf! seriously!

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?
half and half. minus all the beatings (HA!).
i'm gonna ask my folks for guidance if i need help, i'm not gonna lie.
i mean, my brothers and i turned out fine. graduated uni. living adventurous but responsible lives. so my folks must have been doing a lot of things right, eh?

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?
hrmm. from my side of the family (filipino), probably yes. from his side (japanese descent but grew up in brazil as a child), just the japanese part.


If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?
my mother tongue, nope. my husband's first language, probably not. we've decided to just focus on english and japanese. i'm thinking japanese school on the weekends. or just keeping the home environment japanese-only. for this, my husband encourages me to study japanese every day to get ready for it (we're expecting). i speak japanese fine, so much that our neighbors in japan had no idea i was foreign. but i can't read or write it. that's what you get for only learning things by ear! makes you feel like the whole skill is useless without being able to do all 3 (read write and speak).

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?well. luckily my family is a big believer in the "listen to your husband" clause. so i just say, "but my husband says no." and they usually leave it at that. i imagine if i were a guy, i wouldn't get that luxury. it would probably be more of a "control your non-filipina wife!!!"

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?

I plan to integrate the good parts of how my parents raised me into the way I raised my kids. My parents are a hybrid of many things Chinese, American and British and used methods that they thought were good for raising kids. For example my grandparents use to beat my parents when they misbehaved as kids. My parents didn't think that was a good way of punishing kids so they didn't do that to me and I won't do that to my kids.

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?

Once again it depends. While I grew up in the states, I have spent a lot time in China and see the value of teaching the traditions of both places. After living and studying in Hong Kong/China which is where my family is from, I would prefer to not raise my kids there due to a vast number of reasons. I'll probably be raising them in the states, but they'll be bilingual if not trilingual chopstick using, chinese character writing kids that speak english.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?

If this were the case yes. The world is a place where most people can speak multiple languages and where that skill is extremely useful. My kids will be learning how to read and write Chinese when they are young, but when they are older (middle school and beyond), I will leave it up to them if they want to further their language studies.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?

There are certain behaviors and beliefs that my extended family have in China that I absolutely detest and I feel the same way about some things in American culture. I don't see this as a traditional/East(Chinese for me) vs. modern/West(American) because there are bad things in both cultures and since culture is not a static thing, I believe I am justified in taking the good parts out of both cultures I belong and transmitting those to my kids. I hope to use whatever will teach my kids to be respectful to people no matter what race or social class they are from.

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?
i would like to. i want my mom to teach my future kids to speak vietnamese even tho i don't.

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?
i still don't know all the traditions and values, but i would like to. it's good to have traditions passed down.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?
i'm not really making an effort right now, but deep down inside i wish i was able to have a conversation in vietnamese...but most of my relatives speak/understand english.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?
i pretty much share the same beliefs and we haven't had any conflicts as of yet. my mom is open to new things, but she has a strong base, yenno?

i love everything and anything asian. it's part of my culture and i'm surrounded by it all the time. i appreciate the hard work and beliefs that my mom has instilled in me and i enjoy listening to the stories of how she live in vietnam. the way she lived life in vietnam makes me appreciate life even more. you don't need a load of materialistic things like here in the U.S. to be happy. you need good people and good food. haha. sure, i've come across some people who ignore their parents if they spoke to them in their native language. yes, i have friends that are totally white washed and don't know how to use chopsticks! but it's good to know where you come from to help make the person you are today, yeah?

and...i'll speak vietnamese...one day.

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?
Most likely yes, with a bit more encouraging words haha I learned how to cook and clean since I was a kid, and I think this is a very important responsibility for everyone. Better to learn it from young It's sad knowing "adults" don't know how to cook simple stuff or wash their own clothes. I want my kids to be independent and know how to survive when I'm off vacationing in Thailand

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family? If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?
I'm debating on these two questions. I can speak and understand my language quite well, but I put more effort in twisting my language and forgetting it. People say I speak my language funny, and I thank them I'm trying to get as far away from my heritage as I can, but it's sad knowing that my kids won't be growing up with one. I think it's really important to grow up with one too. e_e It teaches value, respect, appreciation, and of course, so they can answer the question, "Where did you come from??" with a great detailed answer instead of answering, "Um...America?" I think I'll have to discuss it over with their father.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?
My family is very traditional and very superstitious. I will have to draw the line at their superstitious beliefs. I will simply tell my family to not teach such silly things and if they continue, I'll just teach my kid how to rebel lol. Some family members are also very um...prejudice? This is a huge irritation of mine. I will not allow it to reach my kids' ear. If keeping my kids away is the only thing stopping my kids from listening to their dumb racist/prejudice comments and remarks, so be it. I know this kind of stuff can't be avoided, but I'll avoid it every chance I get.

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?
Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?
My parents weren't really strict on enforcing Korean culture and customs. For example, most Koreans do some ritual to show respect to the dead ancestors, but we never did that. Also, most Korean parents tell their kids to study, study, study, but mine never did that. Likewise, I also wouldn't FORCE my kids to study. Advise them to study, yes, but not force.
But I like how Korean culture shows respect to their elders so I would like to keep that.


If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?
I do speak the language of my race, and I will also make an effort to teach it to my future children. Knowing multiple languages is a very valuable trait!

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?
I don't ever see this happening. My parents aren't religious people nor are they strict.

i want to raise my kids to have values and morals and to give them a life like mine. i was raised all over the world and would love for my kids to experience living amongst others who are not like them in ways of speaking, looks, etc.

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?
The way my father raised me yes, the way my mother raised me probably not

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?
Yes, it's very important to know who you are. I live in the Bay Area which has a large Asian community and because of the way I look, have always been treated more Asian so that's what I identify myself as.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?
I cannot speak Korean. My dad is white and we spoke English growing up except when my mother was angry. I studied basic Korean and college and will teach my future children what I know, and when I have time will continue studying. I always felt like I was missing out and that I wasn't seen as a Korean b/c I can't speak. My children will most likely speak Mandarin since my bf is fluent.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?
I can probably compromise with everyone except my mom. We just won't listen to her LOL

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?

yea probably. But i think i will def have different moral and liberal grounds unlike my parents.

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?

I would but I wouldn't put the pressure on them to follow those values. its their choice.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?

I can speak korean but I know I can be better. I would teach my future children korean knowing it doesn't hurt to learn you cultural heritage and language is the key to understanding your culture.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?

I respond back firmly that I respect their beliefs but I will not let them force their beliefs upon me. I am my own person and I can make that personal choice.

Who really cares about ethnic. Ièm beating my kids like every other asian person. Not only will it teach them not to john tesh with you, it'll put them in their place. Plus, it's fun.

In response to the OP's comment on her friend, I have to disagree. If you live in America, you are...foremost...American. Why should someone who was never born or lived in Asia feel any more Asian than another random American?

What is your race/ethnicity?
Ethnically Korean, but adopted. My parents are white-Americans (mom's grandparents were from Italy, dad's great grandparents were from Ireland).

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?
Yeah. My parents were fantastic, which is more than I can say about most of my friends' parents.

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?
It depends on what you mean. I wouldn't mind sending them to Korean culture camps, but also, my fiance is half-Chinese/American (his dad's grandparents were from China and his mom's family has been in America for many generations), so we'd probably also send them to Chinese culture things? Also, I grew up eating Italian food more than anything else so...with food...I don't know. I never grew up with any Asian traditions or values.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?
I try to learn Korean, but I don't feel like it's necessary. If my kid wants to learn Korean, fine. That's great. But honestly, I speak Spanish much better than I speak Korean, so if they want to do language immersion with Spanish, that's great, too. Hell, if they want to learn Swedish, Swahili, or ancient Greek, it's all cool with me. I think that knowing more than one language is necessary, but I don't think it should have anything to do with respect for bloodlines.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?
Obviously, I'd draw the line where the conflict occurs. Whatever is best for the child is the best in the end.

-ginger

Depends on how you define American.

I would say I'm an America for believing in the amendments and I'm also a big fan of the founding fathers. Brilliant thinkers of their time, I can recite quite a few quotes from them.

Why should someone who was never born and lived in Asia feel more 'Asian' than some random "American"? Well because that someone may be Asian.

When you say American, it's quite vague - do you mean people who are living in the U.S? People who identify themselves as 'just' American with no ethnic background?

The thing is, the rest of the world finds Americans who refer to themselves as "Asian American" or "Irish American" to be very silly. Most of my British/NZ/etc friends roll their eyes whenever someone says "Oh, I'm Italian American" when asked about heritage. Most of us weren't raised in Italy. We weren't raised in Asia. Thus, why can we lay claim to be part of that country? It's one thing if their parents were fresh off the boat/plane, but once it starts getting more removed, you're American. Sorry.

-ginger

I think part of the problem is that a lot of non-Americans misunderstand how American nationalism works. I do agree with you that if you are an American (I'm making the assumption that you have citizenship) you're stating that your "American" identity is stronger than that of whatever your ethnicity is because you're choosing to live in America and respect conditions for being a citizen over some other place for any number of reasons. However this doesn't mean that one's ethnicity isn't important, you can say you miss your motherland all you like as long as you do your jury duty and otherwise abide by American laws. The identity of being "American" comes first but ethnicity comes in a close second.

The U.S. doesn't base it's conditions for being a citizen on what race/ethnicity you are but it has a turbulent history with all things related to ethnicity/race. So while one can't really fully become get away from one's ethnic heritage even in the states, Americans have the choice to play up or play down their ethnicity. This may sound blasphemous to people that are more involved with their heritage but from my experience that's how things work in the states. I know of some Chinese kids that aren't involved with their heritage at all and don't really acknowledge the "Chinese" part of being "Chinese American". On the other side of the spectrum, I know some Chinese kids that think of themselves more as Taiwanese/Chinese/Hong Konger etc. rather than American even though they have citizenship. Obviously there are a lot of people that fall somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. At any rate, both extremes are real representations of valid choices "Chinese Americans" make and those choices should be respected.

If we move onto the issue of how Americans are seen when they're abroad, I think there's a tendency to see a foreigner as representative of his/her whole country when this isn't usually the case ever. So "Irish American" "Chinese American" "Korean American" becomes "American". This can get really confusing sometimes. Since I was born in the states I do think of myself as American and when I am in China sometimes Chinese people ask me questions that make me feel like I have to "defend" the U.S.(like when I am asked really racist questions about blacks, or if all American people are fat or stupid). But a lot of the time those same Chinese people also say that it isn't possible that I am American and expect me to have a better cultural understanding of all things Chinese than I actually do. While I would like to think I am open to learning about where I come from, I don't think the majority of people(American, Chinese or otherwise) I meet really don't understand the the difficulties of embracing and respecting both cultures that "Asian Americans" who chose to experience their heritage have to balance.

Sorry for the essay, hope that's helpful.

I find it silly that the rest of the world thinks it's silly. An Irish person born and raised in London do not label themselves as English if asked about their heritage. I consider "American" a culture/nationality but not ethnicity/heritage.

To the original question, heritage is not important to me at all. Both my wife and I are adopted and not much of our birth culture nor parents' culture will be passed on. I'm sure some things will get passed on by osmosis.

Heh. No way.

The idea of Asian American or Irish American is ridiculous, but for exactly the opposite.

I was born in the US, but I'm Chinese, not Chinese American.

I lived in Canada a lot of my life, but I'm still Chinese, not Chinese Canadian.

It's about your roots. I lived in Canada for longer than I lived in Hong Kong, but I'm still Chinese. Being in a country doesn't make you lose who you are. I moved to the US now, and even though one of my citizenships says American and I live here, I'm never gonna identify with this country.

What is your race/ethnicity?
chinese

When you have a kid, will you raise him/her the way your parents raised you?
they have raised me very well, i can only hope to rival their parental greatness

Will you teach them the traditions and values of your ancestors and family?
yes.. too many middle-class parents think of their children as angels.. you gotta lock that sh*t up.

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? Will you teach your future children?
i know it, i might continue in the future

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line?
it won't, my parents are always right no matter what i think

I agree for the most part
I have seen many friends go through the "I'm X-American/Canadian and consider myself more X". I think it's inevitable because I know many minorities despite growing up and having lived in an area all their life still do not feel that they belong because of how they are treated by the majority almost solely based on appearance ("where are you from?" "Cali.." "no..I mean, where are you FROM?"). Then eventually they go to their 'ancestral' country or wherever and the people there don't see them as anything but American or whatever because in most cases they don't speak the language like a native, have different senses of fashion, have western/american influenced thoughts on life in general (such as self > group or individual rights > collective harmony blahblah). In the end I think the majority, maybe not all, people who were born and raised in the US, Canada, wherever will ultimately find out they have more in common with other people in their country than they do with wherever their parents/grandparents are from. They still retain those cultural undertones though and in many cases the language, and that diversity is invaluable, and I hope the majority's attitude will change someday to the point where they can value that diversity (diversity to most average Americans usually consists of little more than a tribal dance and a plate of food), make people of different heritages feel more welcome without forcing them to fall back on their parent's country of origin to cope psychologically, and realize that at least in western countries it is not race which holds us together but common values and beliefs.
By the way I'm not suggesting that ALL people use their heritage as a coping mechanism..of course not..

Like I said, it depends on how you define American.

Some people define American as a culture, as a belief of equal rights and democracy and sometimes as a race.

To you, I am an American.

In my own eyes, I am not. I'm pretty sure there are people who will agree/disagree. But isn't that what being an American is all about? =]

I'm not going to answer the survey questions because none of them really have to do with what I have to say... but, no, I don't identify with my heritage as strongly as I do with my nationality. I think it's tough for mixed children to do so. Even if I was full Japanese/Asian, I doubt that I'd consider myself Japanese anyway. I'd have to buy into their way of group think/conformity, and I simply don't for the most part. I don't ever imagine myself ever being accepted or identifying myself as a part of "the group". I used to think I would identify myself more with my Japanese side, but then I learned the language and lived there... and, oh boy, it was a whole other story. So, with that... I would say Japan is a lovely country, that I love... but I don't consider myself Japanese. With that, I can say that I am to the bone an American.

I've witnessed this a lot in the last few years---huge groups of "Asian pride" college/high school kids coming over to Korea in the winter/summer so they can get in touch with the "motherland", only to find out that the "motherland" rolls their eyes at their American-accented Korean and doesn't consider them Korean at all...just Americans. So...they piss off the Koreans who you can hear muttering things like "really annoying, so loud" and they piss off the other foreigners, since they keep going on and on about "Korean pride" when they've lived in the US for their whole lives. It's a vaguely awkward situation and it happens in this one bar I love quite frequently. On any given Friday during winter/summer holidays, it's packed with white foreigners, Korean-Americans, and Koreans. Tension can run high.

taemoo: I'm adopted as well, so I see where you're coming from. What I pass on to my kids is going to be kind of...weird. Anyway, I don't see why it's difficult to understand why the rest of the world finds it to be silly. This type of convo can be heard frequently enough on a Friday night where I hang out:

American guy: Hey, so where are you from?
Irish guy: Ireland.
American guy: Oh, man, I'm Irish, too!
Irish guy: Really? Where are you from in Ireland? You don't have an accent...?
American guy: Well, my great-great grandfather was from Ireland.
Irish guy: But you've lived in the US your whole life?
American guy: Yeah. Where are you from in Ireland?
Irish guy: Cork.
American guy: I don't know where that is, but I would love to go back to Ireland someday and you know, get in touch with my roots. Find out where my family is from.
Irish guy: ...So...you say that you're Irish because your last name has a "Mc" in it, but you don't know where Cork is, you're great grandparents were born in the US, you've never been to Ireland...how does this make you Irish?

I'm not saying that some people 2nd or 3rd generation don't connect with the "motherland"'s heritage, but more often than not, it's a badge and not something that runs particularly deep. I kind of stopped saying that my dad was Irish-American because, even though I have a VERY Irish last name, his great grandparents were born in the US. My mom I still refer to as Italian-American, because her parents could speak Italian and grew up in a small mining community made up only of Italians. Her grandparents were from Sicily and Rome and came here in their twenties. Thus, we still have hung on to some Italian things--there are a few Italian words that I grew up hearing (short expressions like "finish your dinner" and "I can't believe it"), we ate Italian food at least 3 times a week made from the recipes past down in the family, etc. However...we are still American. We celebrate the 4th of July. We vote. We are invested in the good of the country. I can't call myself Korean even though I was born in Korea. I'm just...American.

-ginger

Funny, I find the exact opposite. When I visited some of my family living in Malaysia, all my cousins and their friends asked me all about how America is and what other Asians there are like. If they are "white-washed" or do they make an attempt to connect with where they originally came from.

Wheres the middle ground? =P

Makes me curious. When you are in America and someone asks you if you are Korean, do you say no then?

It's not as ridiculous as you think it is, it illustrates one of the funny paradoxes about being American though. If we want to talk about the "roots" of American citizens, with the exception of Native Americans we are or at one point were immigrants from some other country, including the founding fathers. So one of the ways that American citizens are tied together is by the free expression of those differences in ethnicity/race/religion etc which is why there are such a huge variety of views on those issues. Obviously this creates a lot of turmoil over the issue of ethnicity in the U.S. but by taking an interest in the discussion you show that you have an awareness of the issue and makes me think you identify at least a little bit with being American(I'm not contesting that you feel your Chinese identity is much stronger).

I don't really see why being "American/citizen of a Western country"="losing who you are" if you happen to be an Asian American of some sort. American culture is an equally valid identity to that of any other Asian culture. So while I personally like participating in Chinese culture, I don't see Chinese Americans that don't as inferior.

Gaps in cultural knowledge that happen within a single culture can be as vast as the ones Asians born in Western countries experience if not more so. Experience has taught me that the notion of being "Chinese" is deceptively solid. For example I have a friend who was born and raised in Guangzhou and has never been outside of China. But since his extended family is from an isolated part of the Chinese countryside(they only speak their village dialect), he has a hard time communicating with his grandparents to the point where he even has problems understanding simple sentences said in dialect because he only speaks mandarin and cantonese. In comparison I can speak to my grandparents with no issues at all(ok maybe I don't have the best cantonese accent ever) because they+my parents all worked in Hong Kong at some point in their lives. While I realize that this doesn't represent the situations of all Chinese people or Asian Americans, I think it would be a mistake to underestimate the divides within the "non-American" culture that an Asian American associates with. In China, the number of prejudices defined by language, appearance, height which are attributed to rural/urban, province, city, Hong Kong or Taiwan vs. mainland China divides are extremely cruel. I've witnessed numerous occasions where Chinese from one province will speak badly of or deny jobs/privileges to Chinese of a different province or even city solely based on where they are from. When I've been in Hong Kong I have witnessed equally hurtful comments about mainlanders. If we are talking about discrimination in China and America, I think both countries are equally guilty and no one culture is "superior" to the other.

I tell them that I was born in Korea but I have lived in the US for my whole life, other than that. If I'm feeling lazy or like a jerk, I just smile and say, "Nope. My parents are white and my last name is Murphy." It confuses people. I'm actually quite sick of everyone guessing where I am from. My whole life, I haven't been able to go to the movies or shopping without sales clerks or waiters going, "let me guess...you're from __________." I usually blink back and go, "No...I'm from Charleston."

-ginger

Just clearing the air here - I don't feel any culture is more superior than the other.




I know where you are from

Seoul, South Korea. Says so on your profile. =D

Yup, I know you weren't saying that. Discussions of race/ethnicity can bring up some pretty interesting stuff though!

yeah ill try to tech my kids even i can barly speak mandarin but i try to learn it now
and my tradition is kinda lost now i come from hakka family and im not really close to the tradit

Yeah, I get that a lot. People have the tendency to play guess my ethnicity with me as well, usually by guessing with the things that I'm not. I realize they are making small talk though, which doesn't mean much in the scheme of things, so I just go about my day.


I agree. Interesting to see the variety of views. Your post above was a good read.

Just curious - because she's living in Seoul means she's "from" there? I find the question "Where are you from" the most difficult question to answer, as somebody that has lived in 9 different places. I often end up saying 'California' because I was born there and lived there until seven, but to be truthful, I barely remember it. What I remember is vague - pretty much that San Diego was a good place to live, but other than that...

I don't think this is entirely true.

I was born in the US, left when I was 2 or 3.. can't remember exactly.. I'm 24 this year, and have been back in the US for just about a year.

I hated it when I got here, I hate it now, and if I'm still here in five years, I will still hate it. I don't consider myself Chinese-American, and never will. Not really a coping mechanism, just everything here is alien to me.

Haha, no...I wouldn't consider myself Korean, even though I work here. I'll move back to the U.S. within a year, so...yeah.

-ginger

I can't speak for countries that I haven't lived in, but in Puerto Rico, Germany, Spain, Antigua... No one says "I'm African-German," or "I'm Asian-Spanish." You only hear that crap in America. It's just stupid unless you're an immagrant or holding duel citizenship.

Generally the rest of the world, one’s culture and ethnicity are the same and they do not have a need for extra qualifiers. In the US, it’s not. We can label ourselves as “Americans” but that does not convey our heritage/ethnicity. And from my personal experience traveling in other countries, describing myself as “American” was never sufficient nor what they were really asking.

Issue of identity, especially in the adoptee community, is a very personal and disparaging what label(s) a person chooses to use to describe themselves is not silly at all. I personally don't use the "korean american" label because that infers that I have korean parents so I don't use it, but if others choose to do so, I would not hold any judgement.

My heritage is important to me to but I'd really have to learn about it more. I grew up in Canada and in Italy, I've ever lived in my native country and I usually speak English with my parents & relatives. I'm not proud of it

Nothing to be ashamed of.

What is your race/ethnicity? Korean

If you can't speak the language of your race, will you make an effort to learn it more? I already know how to speak the language, although I don't know the more complicated words. I don't think I'll make an effort to learn more though 'cause I barely use the language.

If one of your families belief comes into conflict with yours, how do you respond? Where do you draw the line? When family beliefs come into conflict with mine, I just let it be. There's no point in arguing when our cultures are different. What's important is what I feel is right for me, regardless.

In conclusion, heritage isn't really important to me. I don't feel any obligation towards Korea nor was I born or raised there. I have the appearance of a Korean, but inside I'm all Canadian.

I don't find that stupid at all. Most countries aren't like American. America is a melting pot. So, you might be an American citizen, but that doesn't mean you can't say that you are African American or Italian American. I mean, someone in your family had to come over here from some where else along the line. You might not actively practice the traditions of that culture, but so what. My brother in law was born and raised in Ghana, but came over here for college. I'd look at him sideways if someone asked him what his ethnicity was and he said American! My parents were from Trini and Jamaica. I'd feel silly noy acknowledging that because it makes me who I am. Besides, when you go to Japan, most of the people you see are going to be Japanese, same thing in Korea or China. I just think the situations are totally different.

As for the original question, I'll definitely try and raise my kids the way my parents raised me. They were big on respect, honesty, and hard work. I see nothing wrong with that. I will definitely pass on the language to them. I think it's a helpful tool to be able to speak different languages. As for the whole conflict thing, I don't see that happening.

No, but what some of us are saying is that we can understand why many Brits/Aussies/etc find it silly to call yourself "Irish" or "Korean" before American when you are more than a few generations removed. If not even your grandparents came from the "motherland", how "Irish" or "Korean" are you? You've never lived there, some don't speak the language, don't know the history, don't know the politics, don't know the economics, don't know the lifestyle...so why should you be calling yourself that? I'm not saying I hate people that do that, but I can understand why many Koreans look down on the Korean-Americans who come back to Korea and are all over the place, getting wasted on soju and boasting about Korean pride...when they can't even name the current President or know what's going with the economics.

-ginger

So people should be denied their right to get in touch with their heritage because they were born overseas?

multiracial


maybe. i would try to be a bit fairer, though.


uh. sure?
my grandmother is native american, but i know nothing of that particular group's language and culture.
as unfortunate as it may sound, how is it my responsibility to pass down traditions that i was never brought up with?



if i can't speak the language, and i have no access to native speakers or people that can teach it; i obviously cannot learn it.
and, your reasoning is flawed.
language is not a racial trait. it something that humans pass on to each other.
a ghanan child raised in japan is going to speak japanese fluently because he has spent his life interacting with fluent speakers of japanese.
he'll be less fluent in his parent's native language because his access to native speakers is probably limited to his parents, and interaction in that language is going to be limited.

people. stop thinking that language skillz are an inborn racial trait.


i think that i am on the same page as my mom in terms of most of the things that i believe.

america is a country of immigrants...that killed off much of the native population and stole their land and disregarded the culture and language of the native people.

if you all didn't know, english is not the official language of the US.
and the US government spent a lot of time trying to divide and separate people by race.

i don't think it's unusual that you have people identifying as hyphenated americans.
but, we are all americans.

the OP touched on america not being accepting of other cultures.
but, that's true of any place.
even if america's constitution is based on the acceptance of many, a mainstream has developed.

i think that many of the issues of language and culture are strongly felt by people who are immigrants, who are the children of immigrants or have a close connection with a foreign country.
there's a fear that you're losing some part of yourself.
i can understand that.

but, the only way to "stop" that is to pack up and move back to the country of your ancestors.
you cannot preserve a foreign culture in a foreign country. people don't live in bubbles.

i think that some of this arguing is kind of stupid. because what's going to come out of it is that there are the people who will make a point to try and preserve their "culture" and call out those that don't or can't.
what it all boils down to is what you feel.


i think that you're taking some cheap shots at her.
she's not saying that ppl can't get in touch with their ethnic roots.
in fact, she is encouraging it.

but, she is looking at the reality that what *some* korean-americans see as "real" korean culture is actually not.
those people focus on frivolous things and think that their koreanness is giving them a pass to interpret korean culture as they please.

honestly, i came across the same types.
they were certainly proud of being korean-american. but in korea their pride took a hit.
rather than try and learn more about the language and culture, they spent time drinking, calling the locals "fobs" and patting themselves on the back for knowing some korean swear words.

it's not about someone taking time to learn about their heritage.

not related this thing i'm quoting, but you said something about ppl not knowing their "native" language.
if you are born in the US to american parents of a, say, korean background, and your parents speak to you in english; your native language is not korean.

I didn't say it was your responsibilty, I just asked if you would pass it down. A simple 'no' would've sufficed.





Read my question again, "Would you make an effort to learn the language of your race?" How does that say I'm assuming you are BORN with knowledge of that language?





Not me.



I'm a big fan of the founding fathers and their philosophy, they intended on creating a country that is accepting of all peoples. I like to believe that everyone should accept other peoples ideas, cultures and differences. Is that so wrong?


Oh cool.



Again, the U.S, founding fathers philosophy blah blah blah.
You seem like you want everyone to accept the mainstream "colorblind" U.S culture. Only people who don't have connections with their heritage want this.



Absolutely.




Uh, no?



......Then what is it about?



Again, thats why the question was "Would you make an effort to learn the language of your race?"