Ever since college started, I feel like so antisocial and I have NO friends anymore, since all my good friends went to other colleges elsewhere. Everything I do now is done alone. I study alone, eat alone and do everything alone. I feel like I wanna get to know new people and make new friends but find it so hard. I just can't find people i connect with and college is so large and sooo spread out.

I remember in high school, I had easier time making friends and had friends to hang out with..but now im a loner. I'm in my going into my 3rd year of college, and still only hav acquaitances that i know. but then again, i commute to school, so i dont have lot of time to talk to people.


Anyone else have my problem??

in the same position.

i dont know if i should count it as a adv or disadv.
alone... you can study without being distracted and less chance to cut class

i admit..it does become lonely sometimes, b/c when you're looking at other people, they are always with a friend and you're not.
i think i've gotten used to it already. i've tried making friends, but it just doesn't click. [i feel like people are intimidated by me ]

but anyways to change your problem, you should join a club that you are interested in. trust me it will help you

hmm don't most people become more social when they get into college? cuz unlike high school, you meet a large diverse group of people and you can find the "right" people for you easily, which can make you feel more comfortable. that's what i think.

If you are not a social butterfly or someone who tries really HARD to meet new people, you might end up being anti-social. It's really easy to stay at your dorm being alone or quickly go home after class if you commute.

The opportunity is there to meet people, but you really have to try hard to make use of it and many people don't. I've had to make immense effort to form the friendships I have now. This meant calling people out constantly to hang or watch a movie.

Highschool was easier because you always saw the same people so you automatically became friends. College is different in that regards.

commuting to school makes it more difficult to become social because you don't have the dorm situation... and many college students become friends because they live with each other and constantly see each other. for me, I lived in a quiet, anti-social dorm my first year so I made most of my friends in my small foreign language classes. also, you could take a chance and sit next to someone random for a meal and start a conversation with him/her.

of course, having friends did come at a cost. empty wallet and lower grades XD

I seems to only make people irk with my atics. I'm the cold-sleepy head-clown-oddball type that rather than fake a smile to get friends chooses to sleep and look sincerely stupid (so I can get away with stuff).

i still feel this way sometimes...even though this coming fall will be my third year! although i have made many friends, other than my roommates, i barely ever hang out with them. for me, i prefer spending my weekends relaxing, sleeping, just taking a breather from all the stresses of that week. i don't know about y'all, but i find that a lot of people i meet like going to clubs, local/house parties, and to the bars for drinks during their free time. i'm not really into those kinds of things so i never go with them. but if you do want to just be around people, i find that doing study groups is a good way to talk to people and even joining some clubs or groups on campus. there may be lots of different people in that group/club, but at least you know someone shares the same interest as you idk..i'm usually the shy one of the group and i'm going to work on that and just be a tad more social and try to relax...

It's not like high school ... you're not forced to be around people for about 8 hours a day. At most it's only 3 hours if then.

I've had the same problem, and a lot of people just don't click. It's a good idea to just go out and find at least one or two friends to talk with.

Yeah, I wasn't social to begin with but college was a great opportunity for me to stop interacting with people unless I really needed to.

I made a few friends so far, but I haven't really kept in touch with them. It's only a matter of actually passing by them do I say hello and ask how it is going for them if neither of us are busy.

I still feel pretty antisocial, but I kinda was in high school, too x___x;;
I do agree that joining a club would probably help in making more friends, but don't spend too much time with friends when you have to take care of yourself, too :]

I personally had the opposite happen.

I'm a pretty introverted person, and kinda anti-social to follow.

After my first year of college, I made plenty of friends, especially with my hall, that I'll be seeing again this year! I think it depends on how you approach it, I always enjoyed the company of people even if I'm not sincerely being who I am supposed to be.

Yea, feel like that too

Joining a club helps a little bit

and I do try to call people to try and hang out, but it's always me calling them but not the other way around!

Overtime I end up feeling like I'm desperate or something....

Yeah, I can relate. Actually, when I was going to community college I met tons of cool people, but now that I'm at university I've made 0 friends. Luckily I have my boyfriend here with me, so I'm not completely alone.

it depends on your personality really. luckily i made a lot of friends in my course, as well as out (their friends). i tried to make friends on the first day, which is usually better cuz everyone's in the same boat! if not, usually in tutorial classes.

I actually lived at the dorms my first year, and now I live at the apts across from my school, but I'm still in the same situation as you. The first year, at least I had the people at the dorms, but I didn't really have much in common with them. Now, I have my one roommate and I live in routine. I know some people that commute to school that made more friends than I did. I only have like 3 friends from college. That's pretty sad. But it's probably because I became pretty introverted my first year. I actually ignored this girl's calls after a month or two because I thought she was annoying, but now that I think about it. I shouldn't have done that! She could have became a really good friend. btw what school do you go to?

Yes!

I hardly talk to my friends. When we all hang out, it would be if we haven't seen each other between 5 months to one year and just catch up on what we do.

I don't even hardly talk to people in college, just classmates to exchange missing home work assignments and notes.

I'm half and half. I'm an intro and extro at the same time. I like hanging out with people, but at the same time it makes me drained afterwards. I just noticed this in college. I go out on dinners with tons of people, make small talk with my classmates just to have a common ground and so on but for some reason I feel tired when I'm back at my dorm. And anyway, even if I want to stay on my own--CAN'T. I dunno, I think college is a breeding ground for cliques, social circles and such. It's impossible to stay out, even without having an org.

wow.. and here i thought i was the only one....... =/ my best friend lives in another state from me, all of my friends from high school go to different schools and i have like no social life right now. its really depressing actually.. but then when people ask me to hangout sometimes (my old friends) , i don't really feel like going out.. i guess i'm just getting depressed.. its so hard to find friends in college.. seriously, i'm not friends with the same people i was from high school.. so i only have a few friends from high school that i made.. and i thought i could go to college and find new friends.. but not really .. well hopefully we will both find some good friends in college soon.. i'm tired of meeting people in college and never talking to them again just because we don't have the same class anymore -____-;; people should WANT to meet keep new friends.. but it feels like people don't want to..

^ aww that's kinda how I feel right now even though I'm not in college yet. It's the summer and I'm not even hanging out with a lot of friends anymore. Most of them are busy with work and will be going to different colleges. I'm really worried that I'll be antisocial in college because I AM a shy person to begin with.. =/ I do have one friend that will be going to the same college as I am, but she's really different from her.. like she's a total night person and I'm a day person so it should be hard for us to hangout..

Why don't you try making at least one friend in every class you go to? I did my 2nd semester and it really worked for me =]. Plus you have someone to ask about any assignments or what not if you missed a class. Other than that try to join a club or intramural sport. Have a goal to like introduce yourself to like two people in it.

I am a little bit of a shy person, especially in an unknown surrounding. But I just have to push myself through the intimidating atmosphere to be able to introduce myself to someone new.

Take advantage of any small classes!!! I had 2 small classes for English and Beginning Korean. I basically became friends with everyone because of the small amount of students in the class.

I remembered an really old friend of mine that went to college when i was in 8th grade, and she told me that her motto was "To make a friend everyday." I know that's not always simple or easy. But TRY!!! Also i heard that people are more likely to hang out/ meet other happy people... just a little extra something to think about.


GOOD LUCK!!! =]

I think I'm kind of like you. I lived in dorms first year so I made lots of friends but 2nd yr I commuted so I became a loner pretty much. Next year I'm entering my major with is pretty small so I'm hoping to make new friends and not just acquaintances.

i made friends surprisingly easily in the first year i dormed(even though they turned out to be crappy friends). after that i transferred to CC and then commuter schools and i've practically become a loner. well, i've stopped caring anyway.

Omg, so true. I have become an anti-social after entering university --it's unbelievable actually. It's not hard making friends or anything, it's just that things change.
I still have my friends from high school, but everyone's changed and the friendship is drifting further and further apart. I've made new friends, all whom I'm quite friendly with, but there are only so many. Others, I meet and say hello, but I don't hang out with them outside of classes only because I don't always see them.
I also get lazy making new friends because there's just so many things going on at school.

I was kinda introverted before I went to university but that changed crazily after about a week in the environment.
I made a lot of friends just randomly. Be sure to participate in clubs and such! Say hi to random people, everyone in university seems to be open and nice. It's not weird to start chatting with someone random! It's never too late to make friends!
PS. I was never good at the whole high school clique thing, it sickened me that I had to see the same people everyday for 8 hours University is a lot better in the sense you can avoid people and not see the same people everyday!

I had moments where I'd shun everyone but my suite&roommates cause I got tired of their drama.
and then supersocial moments when I was pledging and stuff..

I think now that I'm going to a college near home where I know a lot of people.. I'm going to be antisocial.
I don't really want to interact with a lot of people now anyway, hahaha. there's a reason why I didn't keep in touch with the kids that stayed home.

OMG yes!

I was pretty social for one quarter but eventually thought I was trying too hard and after that started to just lock myself in my room and eat my days away. It was blah. I hope to be more social eventually but not so much that I feel like I'm forcing myself and totally backfire on me I guess.

Yeah... Especially if you're in a single!

I don't know. Since there's so many people to meet and the campus is huge, I think it's really hard to hang out with people. Luckily my church people and suitemates drag me outside to see the sun sometimes. XD

i talk to people but i dont really have new friends
so i'm still somewhat social i guess..

i care more about my grades now a days so its all good.

yeah, pretty much.
in the beginning of the year I made a handful of friends.. but gradually we stopped talking.
personally, I blame it on my school, it's not the best ~ it's my state's #1 party school.
I'm not all about parties, so I spent my time studying constantly..
whilst my former friends were struggling

I'm transferring this fall to my dream school where all my high school friends are at.
I'm so happy to GTFO.

Yes, you're not alone. I certainly think I'm antisocial at the very least. I like talking to ppl, have a lot of acquaintances but my friend list is virtually zero. And I'm entering my third year already. Time flies.

I don't mind being a loner. I enjoy my privacy, don't like partying and spending money hanging out, I like shopping by myself, eat by myself. I used to hang out with some roommates, forced myself to social, and find it so ... awkward. I don't even feel like myself anymore.

Just because I'm afraid to hear this kind of sympathy "Don't you have any friends ?" Or when I needed someone, I have no one to call. My contact lists are so limited.

Well, it's bad that I don't have any friend ? More or less. I would love to have some friends, but I don't rush it.

On the other hand, dorms are great! I've made a couple friends and have become much more social than in hischool. Highschool...I was so antisocial and all I did was study(don't stop studying at college though). Even if I didn't make any friends in college, I took a large step forward in my social life.
however, of course, anything is > 0 social life (heh heh...my hischool life...)

Hell yeah lol.

I was more social in high school lol.

Just study hardcore, who cares about making friends, you are going to make success than those partypoopers.
Do that and come out with a pwnage salary and people will be all over you, men and women. kkk

it's a strange phenomenon indeed. It was easier before college because everyone was kind of stuck with each other. in college, everyone has their own agenda.

I wouldn't say i'm anti-social, but i haven't been able to really make any close friends. I could chat just fine in class or at the library with friends. I haven't really gotten to the point where i just want to hang out with this person outside of school just cause i'm close friends. i don't know how to explain it.

Basically, i don't have any friends that i can just hang outside of school with. I have one that i kept from high school, some others from high school i stopped hanging around because we just didn't click.

Basically you just have to put yourself out there. Because if you don't, the other person might not. Everyone in college is starting at a new stage. Everyone's new, and have to start over making new friends. And they might just be like you, wanting someone to all of a sudden step up and make friends. [i'm saying "you" in the general sense.]

One thing i noticed is that your socializing skills can deteriorate!!!!! Without the interaction, you begin to really lose confidence when surrounded by people. You aren't as likely to be the first voice. So once in a while, you might want to practice your speech. I think it'll help with thinking on your feet so you don't get caught up in awkward situations.
You know what i mean. People like to joke with each other, and sometimes you might not know how to react.

then again, there are just those people who like to just say stuff. they get on my nerves. This one girl i knew, she's nice and all, but she liked to just spew lies every once in a while. It gets old... really quickly. Also be careful of those girls who kind of use you. I helped this one girl in my class, and I used to kind of be this mediator between this other girl and her, but when they became friends, they kind of totally just left me in the dust. i was a little shocked because although they didn't try to ignore me or anything, i could definitely feel this sort or wall around them, and i was on the other side of it!

To everyone who feels lonely: I feel your pain. right now i feel pretty depressed. I'm far away from my high school friends. in fact, i haven't seen them for 3 years. I just finished freshman year in college, but i moved in the middle of high school. so some of you are actually lucky for having experienced the best two years of high school, when i had to struggle to make new friends because being independent in high school isn't exactly the popular thing to do. So I've had this loneliness feeling for a while now...


Here are some of my tips:
1) I try to keep in mind that good friends take time to make. i would really rather have those than good acquaintances. Focus on your study, it's better than focusing on being lonely. But sometimes it can't be helped. when you're starving and on campus, the feeling of sitting at a table by yourself is not comforting at all. But remember! There are lots of others who are sitting alone too! No one is looking at you and thinking you are some sort of loner.

2) be open to different kinds of people. No one can replace your old friends... because no one but them exist!

3) invite others to a school event or something. This part has been very hard for me because of my parents. They don't like me staying out too late/going to places by myself/ living life. I also commute, so that just adds to the trouble. I see people becoming very close friends to their roommates or dorm neighbors, and i can't help but get a little jealous.

4) Clubs are pretty helpful. But make sure it's a club you enjoy, other wise you don't really have much to talk about with your fellow club members.

5) When you pass by people you've met, say hello, make some small talk. If you see that person on your way to class, there's a good chance that you will see that person again.

6) Class buddies are nice, especially in note taking classes, such as labs and recitations(prelab discussions? basically a class that's a waste of your time!). If they are your only source of a social life so far, at least it takes the ease off your lonelier times later on, so you can focus on your studies during that time, and not worry about being lonely.

I can't think of anything else, but i'm sure there are lots of tips. I'm just trying to list situational tips and such. I wrote a lot, but that's because i think depression is a pretty big issue in college. Having friends in highschool covers up a lot of stuff, because we have friends! They accepts us and all that. But in college we are sometimes more insecure.

Depression doesn't have to be because of loneliness. People are upset about their grades, relationships, weight, etc.

I wish for everyone to make some friends soon, and if not soon, in the next semester. Loneliness sucks, but at least it's not the end of the world. we can always make new friends.

my first 2.5 years in college i pretty much studied all the time to try to get into nursing school.
the moment i got accepted, i learned how to manage my time more and i went out a lot with friends and met a lot of new people
i'm about to start my last semester of college in september and i'm more social than i've ever been in my life.

i'm scared that i'll be anti-social, i'm getting my own apartment on my own without roommates, so i'm scared i'll be some lonely little recluse

I have this problem too. I have maybe one friend from school...

In class, I talk to the people, but we have different intrests, and most of them
are older because until recently I was attending Comm College. It never gets
past that small talk stage.

As for joining clubs... they don't have any at my campus, except academic ones,
and none of those were for my major and i'm not honor student.

yeah i have become much like this as well when i went to college but i dano i go to college in alabama and it kinda sucks here i hate it >.<

in high school i was freinds with like so much of my class and now i rarely hang out with anyone at all i just go home and study since i have nothing better to do :[

I am the total opposite, college has open world of communication. During high school i was extremely antisocial. but then when i went to college I have made 5x more friends that i had in high school.
I joined clubs, found a place to kick it at school, and just talk to random people in my classes. Really easy to get along, cuz everyone there is for the purpose of networking and getting their degree.

I was really anti-social all throughout high school and my first term in college.
It wasn't until someone invited me to a party (I didn't do anything there, just observed) that I started being more outgoing and that led to talking more people and being friendly. It took me pretty much all year to get me to be social and interact with different people. I pretty much tried not to be my normal self (shy and quiet) and tried to be talkative... It takes some time, but you start becoming more talkative and the shyness slowly fades away (or in my case, becomes less severe).

i dano it might be different with me i got to auburn university in alabama and people are really stupid for the most part there it seems like

almost everyone act the same and is in greek life which in the south gets intence >.>

its kinda weird being asian there too cause pretty much everyone is white and its not a bad thing they are or anything its just they stereo type us alot >.>

i have some groups of freinds but i dunno most of them i consider mear acquaintances i guess im making a few more freinds now but most of them are not people i want to be freinds with

No. I just got done with a community college. My class was full of nontraditional students. I still made friends. I even went to a gay club/drag show with them! They're just not close like my high school friends. Now that I just transfered to a reg. university...with a very nontraditional degree goal, I will once again be surrounded with nontraditional students. I don't get those "college lifetime" buddies since I'm so busy working/schooling. My peers have kids...some my age. But when I go out with my noncollege friends, I am very social.

same here! i just can't really fit into them and i feel like i've to be really careful of what i'm gonna say. it's not same as my high school friends. guess it takes time to really fit in since i'm not local here. LOL but i dont feel like going back after a long break.

and and and i just flunked my test. this is out of topic though. sigh sigh big sigh.

i know what you meen i really dont feel like going back at all >.>

where are you attending?

:[ im sorry about your test you should just try harder next time im sure you will do fine :]

i've become social when i entered college. i used to be so stuck up in high school since i've known most of my mates there since elementary! but when i entered college, i was alone and i didn't have anyone to spend time with. and worse, i didn't arrive early on my first class in order to mingle with my new classmates. so after the class, i tried initiating a conversation with a girl. and i asked her if i could join her for lunch. she said yes and we hit the friendship road i also became close with most of my classmates since i always wear a smile in class

the same thing repeated just this summer term. i have already formed my group of friends in college. unfortunately, we've gone separate ways since some of the friends need to go to the other branch of our uni for majoring while the other 2 changed schools. moreover, the enrollment that time became alphabetized. i ended up going to a class where i know no one. i just did what i did when i was in first year. but this one's a bit different since most of my classmates already have their group of friends. at first, it's hard but now we're ok

a simple tip: always wear a smile and don't be afraid to initiate a conversation i'm sure your classmates would want to know you better you just have to give them an opening indicating that you also feel the same. don't worry about your friends from high school, summer is verrrryyyy long! you can bond as much as you want

gosh!!! gee I thought I was alone @_@.. I love this thread!


I can't fit in either.. I mean how could I? I've become the exact opposite of how I was in high school... back then, I knew almost everyone. well now?.... I mean how could you?

I have nothing against people who smoke. I mean even if I did, I wouldn't be able to do anything about it right?)
But when you have no choice but to stick around them through the whole 2-hour break EVERY SINGLE FREAGIN' DAY, I feel that my lungs would be on fire anytime soon.. (If cigarettes were vitamins, then I'd definitely be glad to stick around them all day..) especially when all you hear them talk about are their sugar daddies and all of them being open to smex just because they're already in college.. again, nothing against people who've already done it... but would you actually tell the whole world??

so I still hang out with my high school friends.. and I'm starting to think I'm becoming a burden to them since they're also in college ryt now... they seem to be having a good time with their new friends... And honestly, I feel jealous... and I wonder if it's just because they have new friends or maybe because I don't... -.-"

If i'm reading so many people going through probs meeting friends, I think I'll be having problems now my first year. I'm roommating with someone I'm buddies with and I have some friends going to the same school but it's still good to start getting to know other people.

They always say college is a new place to make friends. I say this is definitely harder than making friends in high school.

Like they all say, I guess I best join some clubs.

meh I feel the same way. I dorm but moved in late, and that totally screwed me up. I swear ppl in my dorms have sth against asians, or it could be just me =(


good thing I'm going back home to study, though I'm really drifting apart from my high school frds, yay will be a complete loner

It sucks being so alone =(. I don't know why things always end up crappy for me after a while. Eh. sigh.

I guess that depends how diverse your campus is. Or the people in your dorms just have acceptance issues. Sorry about your experience.

Now I'm scared for my first year. I'm asian too but my campus has a lot of diversity...and from what I see, a lot of asians. But making friends is still a problem for many. I guess that's why we have the internet. Lol...

im in the same situation.
im lonely.

im the minority in my class.....

in my class i barely speak bcause, they sort of don't understand
what am i talking abt. and everytime i speak, the suddenly became super quiet like they don't know what to reply. i felt left out.

but it's ok, i already get used to it.

me, fighting!