I don't like being around anyone. I live with my parents since I'm still in high school, so it's alright being in the same house as them since they're my parents and we don't talk much anyways...but besides my direct family and my aunt, I hate being around anyone else. I guess I've been thinking a lot during the summer and I've analyzed my personality and realized that I just don't have anything in common with anyone else. I've been putting on a fake personality with my "friends" all the time. This is going to be a problem once school starts, and eventually I'll have to enter society and get a job...and I don't want to be fake and pretend to fit in anymore. I really just want to be alone. I like not having to answer to anyone, having all of my free time to myself to do whatever I want...and it might seem boring and lonely from an outsider's perspective, but it's really not to me. I don't desire for friends or even love anymore.

I just feel like everyone's a clone with no personality or thoughts of their own...people bore me and I can't stand the way they think.

I'm wondering what I can do since interacting with people is inevitable...there's a pretty small chance I'll be able to get a work-at-home job with decent pay...so yeah

Go to college, meet some real people. Growing up helps, as well.

I am in the same boat as you... I have to fake things too, unless someone actually has the same interest as me comes about. @_@

I guess you got to force yourself out and meet new people.

I agree, a lot of humans out there simply regurgitate the stuff they hear from their superiors without giving much thought about it.

Like theists or bandwagon hoppers.

A "It's a man's job"
B "Yes I agree it's a man's job"
A "So why is it a man's job?"
B "Because it just is"

Hey I hear you.

I spend more time at home than outside.

And I get severely anxious when I approach others or when others approach me, I don't have eye contact at all, and I'm not too good at adapting or adjusting to the situation or atmosphere.

Yeah I know i'm pretty useless atm, because we're people who live under a social society, we nee dto interact to get things around and what not heck i don't know half of it.

but hey hang in there.
You should have a circle of friends you can be your true self to... i know this hard but it's something your going to need to work for if you ever want to make it happen/
You almost sound like my older sister right now lmao ^^;;

Hang int there...

@moot11: People from college come from high school though...I doubt college will be that different :\

@I Cook: I don't want to be fake to meet new people o.O

@Mannosuke: People always follow the crowd . They're scared of being criticized by anyone. I'm not trying to sound superior or that I'm so special and better than anyone..

@House: I don't feel anxious around strangers, nor am I scared to make eye contact. In fact, I usually stare at everyone who I walk by just cuz it's interesting to see new faces for a few seconds. It's not that I'm afraid of what people think of me...people can dislike me or think I'm weird if they want to. I still enjoy "normal" things like exercising, shopping, etc...but most people's idea of fun, which includes getting wasted at clubs or parties, doesn't interest me. I just don't get how it's fun and I can't relate to them.

That is true, but not because I'm following the crowd and simply agreeing for the sake agreeing lol.

However, it's not necessarily the case that they're "scared" or feel any sort of "pressure" by their peers. Of course, that is a big factor; humans are social creatures, can anyone imagine being alone and shunned upon? (no, sitting in your room browsing online forums is still maintaining some line of communications with other humans, that is not being alone)

Indeed, there's some misconception from "the crowd" (which we define as the subset of people that simply follow the others) that anyone that deviates from the crowd believe they are "superior" as you put it. Or at least "trying to be unique" for some definition of unique.

Unique is subjective, and for some odd reason, people attribute "unique" things with "superior" or "special", which is wrong and logically incorrect. The number zero is unique, and it can be considered special (you having ZERO dollars is probably a lot more interesting than any other number), or maybe in terms of grades, the only numbers that really stand out are ZERO and HUNDRED, but most of the time when you get ZERO you get a lot more attention. So does this mean ZERO is superior to HUNDRED? Maybe...but that's completely based on people's views.

I don't think someone getting a ZERO on their finals is any different from someone getting a HUNDRED, except one is getting the credit and the other doesn't! ZERO credit? Damn straight.

Essentially, logic does not mix with society, that's for the "white lab coats"

You just took the thoughts that pass through my head everyday, and put them into words. Kudos.
.

I'm not sure if you are but if you're still in HS that would contribute to your problem

I remember people in highschool being desperate to fit in-most of them fake, especially if you get to more popular circles



once you get out of HS though, don't worry, you meet plenty of real people and the people that WERE fake in high school grow out of it too

uh.. hop off your pedestal. to be honest, i can't stand that sort of attitude. the 'nobody gets me'.. 'i wish people would leave me alone'.. 'i'm special' attitude.
you're probably still in your angsty high school stage. it'll pass.
just stop overthinking it. EVERYONE NEEDS some sort of human interaction whether they deny it or not.
it's just a part of life and human sustainability.
one day, you will find your niche group of people who you enjoy and want to be around. trust me. i'm pretty sure everyone goes through a similar stage.
and no, i'm not trying to encourage you, because i don't think you deserve it with that sort of attitude
just be reassured that you will someday realize you enjoy the company of other people.
and everyone's 'fake' to a certain extent. it's just necessary sometimes. -.-;
just because "most people's idea of fun" isn't your idea of fun doesn't mean you need to go off and be some sort of recluse. -_____-

^Here's a perfect example that follows my post. Nowhere did he say any of that, you only assumed he did because you assumed he had that kind of attitude.

It's like going on kidshelpphone.ca for the canadians out there and reading counselor's "professional" advice. Half of it is just a big wall of text to me that doesn't really help anyone.

um... that doesn't really say anything..? stop talking in circles.
how the fcuk do you "assume" someone has that sort of attitude?
you don't need someone to sit there & be like "hey look i'm being a pinkberry" to assume that they're copping a pinkberry attitude.
you gather it by what they say
so uh.. what on earth are you trying to tell me exactly?

That you are the type of person that he hates and are only contributing to his image of what humans are.
How do you "assume" someone has that sort of attitude? By taking one or two sentences and associating him with some general stereotypical label. EDIT: that is called stereotyping.



Do I have to explain what is meant by the act of "assuming" something? You're essentially supposing something that may or may not true and basing all of your arguments on it..

Nowhere in his post did he even suggest that he believes he's "special" or have an "I'm special" attitude.

@Mannosuke: People, especially younger people, do get scared and feel pressure from their peers though. It's easy to be casted out and bullied by "the crowd." I guess that's part of the reason why people are scared to speak their mind if what's on their mind is different from what's socially accepted in their environment...and I do agree that being completely alone would be scary. Didn't they do an experiment somewhere where people were put in solitary confinement and they all suicided or something..? Someone getting a 0 on a test would be interesting...but they probably either just didn't write anything, or wrote all the wrong answers on purpose...or maybe they truly do have some problems..but either way it'd be interesting, lol. And thanks for helping me explain to that girl...

@Regina: Good to know I'm not entirely weird and hallucinating..

@Ningyo: I've heard lots of people saying college is way different and better...but I've also heard lots of stories of people who might be academically smart, but still just party all day and are idiots...*sigh*. I guess everyone's experience is different. Thanks for the comforting words though ^^

@xMYOOx: I'm not on any sort of "pedestal." I don't think I'm so smart and awesome, because nothing's for certain in this world and everything you know might be wrong. So the way I think might be wrong and maybe one day I'll realize something that completely sets off everything I thought was true before. This is just the way I think right now though. I don't want to shun people away because I think they're not good enough, I just don't like the loudness...and if I don't even have fun, then why shouldn't I spend time alone doing things I'll enjoy more? I'm not angsty o.O. And I do get human interaction since I live with my parents and once school starts, it'll be in classes. I just don't like going to social events or seeing my friends outside of school too much...I think it'd be a much better world if people WEREN'T fake and didn't lie about things. Facing the truth is much better than living comfortably in denial. Actually, I do have an ego, but it's not the kind you're imagining of. I'm not sure how you've managed to create a profile for myself from a few posts, and especially since this is the internet.

Oh and I'm a girl..

You can choose to be alone and do your own thing. That's your choice. If you don't want to feel like you have fit in or be "fake," just don't do it. No one's forcing you to be anything. There are times that I feel the exact same way. I think what you need to do is chill out, take some time for yourself, and get away from people for a little bit. When you're ready or you miss it, you can choose to come back.

But you are never alone. You shouldn't exclude everything from yourself just because of a couple things or a couple of people. It's normal to want something else. It's normal to feel bored.

You say you don't desire friends or even love.. I think it's way too soon for you to say that. When you get older, I'm sure you will meet new/more people in the future and you will definitely appreciate all that's gained or lost. Get rid of that apathetic attitude and cheer up!

You just gotta push yourself. don't give up so easily, dude!

Oh by the way, there's all sorts of people out there. Sure, they can fake but who isn't at times? Chances are, you will also meet people who will be just as genuine and you won't have to feel the need to be impressive. Keep being you and keep your head up. I mean, anything goes. It could be worse, you know? You'll be alright!

people in general are fake, but it's not a big deal right? i mean as long as they're good people.

you probably just haven't met someone that suits you. (?)
maybe it's where you live or something.

maybe for college, go somewhere far(:
or take an adventure, or make an effort even if you don't want to, to meet a lot of new people.

i meann, you never know who you're going to meet.
and you DON'T have to be fake to fit in, and it's not really necessary to "fit in".
just be yourself and see how it goes? unless you are being yourself... well. idk. D:

"<sub>-I don't like being around anyone.
- I hate being around anyone else.
-I just don't have anything in common with anyone else.
-I've been putting on a fake personality with my "friends" all the time.
-...and I don't want to be fake and pretend to fit in anymore.
-I really just want to be alone.
-I like not having to answer to anyone,
- having all of my free time to myself to do whatever I want...
- and it might seem boring and lonely from an outsider's perspective, but it's really not to me. I don't desire for friends or even love anymore.

-I just feel like everyone's a clone with no personality or thoughts of their own...
-people bore me and I can't stand the way they think.

-I'm wondering what I can do since interacting with people is inevitable...there's a pretty small chance I'll be able to get a work-at-home job with decent pay...so yeah</sub>
"
o_O' how does that NOT have attitude?
_ "I disagree with fun, love, people and practically the how the whole world works
so therefore i will not have anything to do with fun, love or the world"? Is that what you're saying?

too john teshing bad. life's unfair. 'ethics', 'morality', 'justice'.. they are just a pretty words. concepts people created so that they could live with themselves. That's life. YOU created by this miserable belief that denies life, because the only way you could live as a reject of the world, is by rejecting the world.

I just reckon you're scared and incapable, so you're excusing yourself from things you suck at by saying "i don't like it/it's not me".

i've been there. all i needed was the occasional kick in the head
cos there's no john teshing way i really could have believed that mini cooper till i die.

_everyone is a hypocrite. you'd be foolish not to be.

but eh. i'll take this all back if you're not the person i make you out to be.

I like having fun, who doesn't like having fun? I'm just saying the way I have fun is different from what the majority of people think is fun, therefore it's hard to find people who I could have fun with. I love my family, my aunt, and I can't say I love any of my friends, but I'm pretty nice to them. I disagree with how the world works in lots of ways though. Are you saying ethics, morality, and justice shouldn't be part of a society? Since we're humans and we're far smarter than other animals, didn't we "create" those things to become more than just animals? If we didn't have those things, then we might as well kill and eat each other. Those are the things that keep our society intact..

What am I scared and incapable of? I could fake the mini cooper out of myself and get along with lots of people and maybe even be "popular" but that's not what I really want. I know what people think is "cool," but why would I change myself and make myself miserable for the sake of others? I'm not that much of a caring person.

I'm probably a hyprocrite sometimes, but I try to fix it if I catch myself being one.

You really should say "people around me (which isn't a lot)" cause humans are very dichotomous creatures.

I'd criticize your posts the way everyone else is, but what I'm hearing is different.

...but there's stuff you can't do when you're alone ;D



like riding a 2 seated bike

If you really want to be alone for the rest of your life, go for it. Power to you. Hermits have been around for a long time.

I feel the same way you do, except it's not only just that, but I just feel nervous/anxious around other people, especially when I don't know them.

Although I say that, I honestly think that despite you feel you can live without people in your life, you'll need to at least get out once in a while and have some human interaction. I homeschooled my last two years of high school (which, I believe, are one of the crucial areas of life where you learn to deal with people and learn social skills) and my friends back in public high school pretty much forgot about me, so I was alone and barely had any socializing--even with my mom who I lived with. As much as I am naturally a person who prefers their own company most of the time, I even found it unbearable to stay inside of my room all day for two years. It was just full of loneliness and frustration when you realize you don't have anyone to talk to about your problems, day, or whatever.

I don't think you need to go as far as getting a work-at-home job because of this, but if it bothers you that much to be around people, then by all means get it if it works for you.

lie and pretend.
be fake and make fake friends.

"I don't desire for friends or even love anymore"

Aaaw, what happened, bubba? :C *hugs*

Don't worry, the right people will come at the right time if you be yourself. You have no regrets when you be yourself. The people who need to talk and be with you will come along and you will feel you want to talk and be with them too.

Don't lose hope yet. Although the society you live in right now may be inhabitable to you, it will change once you move on to other areas of life. Everyone may seem like a clone because you don't understand them, and have never witnessed their internal realms. How do you think other people view you? Do you think that your understanding of yourself deep within will extend to others based on the mere judgement of appearance and behavior? It won't. Real friendship and love developes from true understanding and acceptance of one another. Humans have instincts that know when another person is been truly genuine or fake. If you are not genuine to others, it is unlikely that they will be genuine to you. This could certainly prove to be a stiffler in developing what could be an awesome friendship. So shed that thick skin of yours!

ugh. i dated an ex who you remind me of who thinks the same way of me as to how you think of people in general. i am offended. i like what i like and i wont apologize for it. but the way you think makes me feel you're better than the 'rest of us' when we're all basically the same. you try so hard to be different but you never try to relate. you're all lonely but in denial because you said you dont want to fake it anymore. you pin point the problem onto others and you dont try to take some responsiblity yourself. just because you like something everyone else happens to like, it doesnt kill a little part of you, you know. oh god forbid that happens.

and no one is perfect, you're telling us you're being all fake and people eventually will sense that. why not go find people you like? but you dont want to. you wanna stay cooped in, in your room. you cant have the best of both worlds you know. it doesnt work like that. and you sound very pessimistic and self righteous to me. why not loosen up a bit and enjoy life? and just bull sh.it here and there. whatever, take it or leave it.

"it's just a phase. it will be over soon." -brandon boyd, incubus lead vocalist. from the song "just a phase" (morning view)

o_O' people are all pretty much the same, be it you or me or mannosuke. It's just that we're not all on the same 'wavelength' a lot of the time.

This 'fake' thing is just people trying to tune into that wavelength they're not normally at to be where others are. A business woman would talk baby talk for her baby, so would a gangsta would talk straight with his mom.
It's not so much 'fake' . It's just being that someone we're not really used to. _

If you keep it up, like developing a 'David Attenborough' voice over, you'll breathe easily in it. I'm pretty sure he doesn't talk like that 24/7. and even if you consider that popular voice fake... who cares? not even you could hate on that guy. o_o'
The reason why people can get along with old friends is because they've spent so much time in that certain wavelength, it feels natural. 'real'.


x_X' but didn't you say you didn't talk much to 'em? you could 'not talk much' with other people too.

I'm saying that pretty words, fake values and boogie monsters are keeping this world intact. Reality is fake. Life is a facade. Who cares. Just enjoy what you can, and even more.
<sub>Why did humans create these values? To live with themselves. In the beginning, with a small populace, humans feared the unknown. If you stayed a night at a haunted house, you'd feel the same. They would sacrifice things to 'gods' so that they could live. This behavior can be seen in desperate loved ones, making atheists pray to god for their loved one's miraculous cure. Eventually, the populace grew, lesser the fear of the unknown, and humans started to act like humans - knowledgeable and almost fearless of this simple world.
The fear these days are somewhat within ourselves, and of each other. No one even fears death like they did thousand years ago.

We are simply animals that have knowledge. if you die, you die. if you steal someone's bread, someone will chop your head off. if you kill someone, someone will kill you. _ justice, ethics, morality..they're not what's driving people. it's just emotions from the cause, and emotional action to the effect. emotions are what any creature can claim as their own.
_ ..and tbh. i went out on a limb explaining that.</sub> _ due to uncertainty.

o_O' and what's that superiority complex i see again.. D: don't tell me you don't like animals~

So getting along with people means being miserable and getting nothing out of it?
'Relationship' practically means a give and take bond. o_O' If you gave all your patience and effort but never asked for anything in return [and got nothing in return], then... perhaps that's why you don't like people.

Use people. I encourage it. It's inevitable in any aspect of human interaction. Why should it be wrong just because you're aware of using someone? Just give them something in return.
It's not being 'fake'. x_X' and what's wrong with fake anyways.
Being able to fit into society, to accept things, to respect values you don't accept.. it's all apart of self-development as a human being.

Just be you.. with a more open outlook towards things. I'm sure you're a lovely girl, and I'm sorry to have made ya read all that. >.>' couldn't help but rant on somethin' i'd like to be said to myself a while ago.

This belief is not you, and it does not define you. Don't hesitate to drop it for some cheap thrills with people you could like for a second.

I agree, even if you don't want to befriend them or get to know them, nothing wrong with using them to achieve what you want. A lot of people use others as stepping stones, and whether you like it or not, doesn't mean anything to them.

Use them, but just don't let them know that they're being used lol
Not using them is like not taking advantage of scholarships and bursaries just cause you want to pay for everything.

It's there for the taking! Why not take the opportunity? Pride? HAHA.

^ *points* People like those crush the morality of human kind.

jksjks

I agree this society is based on facades, advertising and getting yourself to the top. But who said you had to follow society? You even expressed disinterest in pursuing society's wants that are, mind you, ever changing. So JUST BE YOURSELF. That's the only thing you know for sure how to do, right? While everything else arounds you change, YOU are the only possible constant - you are the only one that you have control of. So take control of yourself, of your life, and make it how you want it to be.

ok what i mean to say is..
whether it's in my stead to assume or not (which doesn't really matter considering you posted a topic for feedback, right?), i think you're probably insecure with yourself for whatever reason, be it your lack of social skills, ability to connect with others, wtvr.. and you're blaming it on people rather than yourself. it sounds like you don't want to accept that it's not others with the problem; it's you.
almost everyone goes through it..i was like this for about a year, but i definitely knew that it was because of my lack of getting out there and initiating contact with people, and thank god i grew out of it.
i just find it disgusting that you place yourself up on some high pedestal with some of the bs you've said so far like..
"I just feel like everyone's a clone with no personality or thoughts of their own...people bore me and I can't stand the way they think."
wtf is that.. i'm surprised people are replying so kindly to you when you've basically insulted everyone.


mannosuke: that's OBVIOUSLY not what he meant by saying "use people". you are so0o0oo effing witty wow here's a cookie -.-;

@Aprilsfools: I know that there are some characteristics that all humans have, but those characteristics have different forms...and what I'm trying to say is that lots of people take up one form that I don't like.

@LUVVSSOURCREAM: I'm not trying to say I'm better than everyone else. Sometimes, even I wish I could have more in common with people, but it's just the way I am. I'm not lonely, I'm alone, which I'm perfectly fine with. I'm not saying it's anyone's fault. What do I need to take responsibility for? I am true to myself, and I think I'm a likeable person, which is the only thing that matters. Whether others like it or not is their decision. I like things that other people like, and I'm fine with it o.O. You're assuming more things than the other girl.

@xMYOOx: I didn't say I was blaming anyone. I'm not insecure. Why am I the problem? Please give me sufficient reasons to convince me why I am "the problem." Once again, I'm not on the pedestal you're imagining. You should work on not getting offended so easily. It's not good for your health.

People aren't understanding what I'm trying to ask when I started the thread...which was to ask for ways to cope with other people. It's partly my fault because I didn't state it clearly. Sorry for not replying to everyone, but I don't feel like typing up more responses right now.

Of course, that is what communication is. You say what you want us to hear, and we will respond to what we see and interpret.

That should be the basics. Unfortunately a lot of people don't seem to go back to the basics when they get into "real world" business.

isn't this thread self-defeating since you are interacting with people on forums?
socializing is a part of life don't be delusional.
as much as i'd hate to say it, being fake and fitting in is sometimes necessary.
i'm sure you'll meet interesting people in college but you're going to have to change your attitude first.

Ways to cope with people when you don't like to socialize?
Just don't talk to them if you don't need to.
And when you need to, just extract what you want and that's it.

Simple as that.

heres a question for u. if everyone else is a fake to just like u than how do you know that you have nothing in common with them when you dont even know them at all?

maybe i dont really get what you are trying to say when you put up this topic but just reveal your real personality and maybe meet some people who actually really have the same interest as you. if you are being fake then you are just like the "clones" you were talking about because you fake who you are just like everyone else to fit in and therefore you do have that in common with them. since you present a fake person to the rest of the world i think that by revealing the real you then you meet people who are outside the clone circle because you dare to be different and those that are different will befriend you.

i also get that you like being by yourself a lot of the time. i have the same urges to just get away from all human contacts to sometime because of the way humanity perverts life but i cant live my life without any human interaction for the rest of my life. and if you really dont like any human interaction at all then there wouldnt be this topic in the first place instead you'll be holed up somewhere. i think that somewhere inside you do want someone to understand you so you do long for human interaction secretly and thats why this topic is here.

sorry if you may not understand some part of this or if im going around in circle but hope that helps you

Truthfully, I honestly don't put any effort with my friends.
I just say something, then they laugh.
The only people I like being around would be my family.

You sort of answered you own question here.

Just deal with whatever people want from you in interactions that you must face, then go back to being your normal singular self. Nothing really wrong with that. You might not like having to put on a face to buy a car or do a meeting or whatever, but you'll just have to do what tons of other people do, and deal. Specifically with coping is just paying attention to what they are saying... you've seem to have been doing it for a long time anyway.

colloquy and muffinx3 have it

@brownman: I don't believe in phases

@ShadowMax: If you want to talk in terms of wavelengths, then I guess my definition of "being yourself" would be to stay at your natural wavelength and not tweak it to make your wavelength seem more in sync. When a mother talks in simpler terms to a child, she's still doing it at her "natural" wavelength. I'm going to sound egotistic again, but other people's wavelengths are generally closer to each other than mine is..in your wavelengths terms. If you want to say that life is just a facade and nothing really matters, just enjoy yourself, then there's no point to trying to analyze and think about life. I don't want to "just enjoy life." Forcing myself to get along with people makes me miserable because people get offended easily, which would mean I would have to agree with some of the things they say even if I really disagree. I feel that nothing of value to me will be gained from such a relationship, so I don't pursue them. I do use people sometimes...

@Mannosuke: I will try my best to align my thoughts with my words

@HaruNov: The internet is a "lesser" form of social interaction because it doesn't involve body language, the way words are said, etc. You have time to formulate your thoughts and backspace, and you can reply at your convenience.

@muffin: People's loud habits force me to listen to the annoying things they have to say. I don't know how to not be annoyed.

@greenlavender: I try my best to be myself, but sometimes I'll do or say something I didn't mean to and not be concious of it. Compatibility is more important than interests...and I can just tell I'm not compatible someone by talking to them for a short period of time. I can honestly say that I don't feel my quality of life has decreased because I don't have close friends. There are lots of things to do, and I'm hardly ever bored.

uhhhhhhhhh right now, you just sound like a hater.
yeah maybe once you get to college it'll change
that's under the expectation that you'll be going to university.
really, just because we're all from high school doesn't mean we're all in high school mode.

i like to say that one year of college is the equivalent of four years in high school
if you can think about the amount of change that happens to people in four years in high school
people in college are MUCH different.



like a lot of people don't give a john tesh and will tell you whatever you need to hear straight up.
unless you just gravitate towards fake people.


the only way you're going to have to learn to cope with people
is to man the john tesh up and suck it up and stop wasting your energy on resenting everyone
because i'm sure all of those people can cope with whatever you bring to the table.

how could you tell if you are compatible with someone after only a short time of talking to them if they are only putting on an act too because you wont know the real them either? i think that you are just not compatible with their act but do you even know the real them?

compatibility starts with interests. you wont be compatible with anyone if you dont have anything that you are both interested in even if it is in opposition with each other like say you believe chocolate is the best thing ever and they think that ice cream is the best thing ever. you could almost start an interesting conversation with just about anything. if you just try to be more open minded it could work out. i've learn that first impression isnt everything so after talking to them for a short period of time wont tell you everything about them.

i do think that my quality of life could be better with close friend because really i dont have any close friend either but i would love to have someone i could trust enough to tell all my secrets to. and its not a matter of being bored or not but how much fun you have. you might not be bored playing against the computer but i would be more fun to play with an actual person.

plus like i say, a part of you want to be understood or else this topic would not exist because if you wouldnt start the topic in the first place if you really hate human interaction so much

o-O' i think he hit it on the head. if not, what did i mean? o-o'


That's pretty much what 'respecting views you don't agree with' means. Lol.

_so let the dice fall, the mini cooper hit the fan, and the chips fall where they may...
a life without effort. a philosophy of sloth. "the only things in life that are meant to be, will be"
may everything come to you... x_x' it could work. but......aha.. it reminds me of a post in the 20+ section about Gen Y called "No More Dreaming Big"
ignore that i was labeled an intruder ==' and my post ignored.

p.s- ah right. >_>' not like me to ignore the question. _ practice. :]

@Yukita: I'm not a 'hater.' I choose to be realistic and the truth is, I dislike many qualities that many people happen to possess. Do you have anything to back up how people change 4x faster in college than in high school? Change isn't always a good thing as well. What exactly do you mean by telling me to "man up?"

@greenlavender: You don't have that sort of instinct sense? It's the general "feeling" you get from talking to them. I've thought about this and decided to put aside my instinct and get to know people even if I didn't want to talk to them any further, but my first impression has been right 99% of the time. Interests don't necessarily increase compatibility. I hope you eventually meet someone who you develop a close relationship with =). I recommend blogging. You can start a public blog and keep your posts and identity anonymous. I've found that being sad because you're "missing out" is a useless feeling. Most of the time, you'll get what you think you wanted and be disappointed and confused. Don't have too many expectations and don't depend your happiness on other people. Maybe you'll never have a close friend, but your will to live shouldn't decrease. It's not fair that some people have close friends and you don't, but that's the way it is. Do your best :].

@ShadowMax: You might be content to take things for what they are and just live, but I can't live like that. I really can't be carefree and allow things to be simple...

Yes, people from college come from high school, but your chances of meeting someone you like/can relate to, increases dramatically.

maybe everyone seems like clones to you because you haven't taken the time to know them... it takes a long time (months or year) to know someone, not in 15 seconds. i find that you judge and reject too fast. everyone has a family, a background, and struggles in life. do you think they go around and fake happy all the time; people are not as simple as the facade they project. they are only trying to get along so as not to complicate their already complicated life. people can agree to disagree because:

1. they have other problems to care about
2. they think it not worth it to offend someone and create unnecessary problem
3. isn't it better to let go of certain things and enjoy time together

if you enjoy being alone, that's ok. but being social is not about faking. think about it as protecting yourself. and sometimes people need a network to fall back on when they're in need.

Hey! There's nothing bad about that!
But why fake and need to pretend? Just be yourself! If you are down-to-Earth type of person then don't pretend to be a slap-happy person! I'm sure there will be people who would like you for you!
Of course growing up, once you hit college and even get a job you will be surrounded by many people. Sometimes you'll HAVE to interact with them! BUT, that may not be a bad thing either. Everyone is different, and we all think differently I'm sure. You'll find a person who will probably blow your mind away. heck, besides! You're here, posting on Soompi forums, right? That's some interaction right there, even if we are via online! We're all pretty friendly!
As for thinking everyone is scared and being the same, sometimes I have these ideas. Sometimes I feel that some people are just really naive, and don't see everything. Not only that, we all do the same things, right? We wake up, shower, go to work/school, then come back home to sleep. We all breathe and we all have blood pumping through our bodies. (Or at least I hope so!) In a sense, being different isn't bad but that doesn't make you special in any sense. No one is exactly the same, we all have our own minds and bodies. We all think differently, and see things differently. The point of interaction is to be able to compromise and be with people who don't share the same minds we do. How do we react to someone who is different? Someone who doesn't think like me? Like a debate for example, some people may believe that having an abortion is right while others believe it is completely wrong. We all have to cope with these things. As for love, love to me is something where you can willingly accept one other no matter what. Even if the way they think is differently. Humans NEED love. Maybe if you be yourself a bit more, you'll see things a bit differently? It could be because you're young and that's the way you think at the moment and as you get older you'll understand. Although, I'm speaking from a 17 year old still in high school POV so I'm not exactly wise or anything. But you have to think, you yourself is just like everyone else as well. Or that THEY need to pretend too. Putting on a fake smile when needed, or pretending to enjoy the things they dislike most.
By the way, I honestly have no idea what I'm saying. I'm sorry. o-o My mind is in different places and I should be doing homework.
But uh, I guess my point IS, is that I don't find that not having human interaction is a bad thing, but you should try and relook at everything, too. Because it can get kind of hard out there. ( I'm not speaking from experience, but from what I've seen and hear.) I hope you are able to find friends who like you for you and not for fake Vitalrain! I also disagree with a lot of ways the world works, but sometimes you just have to suck it up, y'know? There's not much we can do. I mean, I could become this big and famous person and then somehow order everyone to do this, but that wouldn't be right at all. This is what MY opinion is, not everyone would agree, and not even that not everyone would even really listen. Hey-- I just say, be yourself, enjoy yourself, and do what you want to do. Nothing bad about that at all. You don't have to be popular, and you don't have to flaunt everything if you don't want to. Besides! I already like talking to you already, although we didn't exactly talk.. o-o;; But you get what I mean! Sorry! Still a bit all jumbled! But good luck and enjoy yourself! Heheh! Welcome to Soompi, by the way!

just be yourself i guess? =)
do what you think is fun.
if people want to criticize, just ignore them.
they are in no position to tell you what is wrong or right about you.
but you really shouldnt shun your friends and what not.
friends are friends for a reason and no one wants a friend who doesnt want to be him/herself.
you just need to look a lot harder. ^^
im sure you can find someone who you can be real around with.
personally, i dont really care about how other people act as long as they dont do bad things, im okay.
i have a friend who's probably a lot like you are.
except she's a whole lot more sensitive yet i can still cope with her.
she's having a cold war with a few of my best friends yet she can still smile at me.
why? because i dont criticize her nor do i say bad things about her.
what im trying to tell you is that you should give other people a chance =)
cause some people who were total shizzheads in the past can be nice! (take me for an example)

anyways, good luck! ^^

vitalrain: if we meet in real life we could probably have a really good talk because your sentiments here echo mine. But then again, neither of us will probably be willingly open up that MUCH to someone we just met. So the only way to know is to stick around some time and give ppl a chance.

I don't feel lonely when I'm alone either since I have tons of interests that l do by myself. I do go out with ppl at school just so I won't become totally socially detached when social skills really count, ie when I get my job and have to deal with colleagues at work. Without even putting on a fake personality, I feel that listening to ppl going on and on about little mundane things of their lives and their petty little accomplishments is a burden enough in itself. It seems that nowadays nobody really trusts anybody to open up enough about themselves. Or maybe because when you do open up, ppl tell you to suck it up because nobody wants to bother themselves with other ppl's problems. This is why everybody adapts a common ,or fake if you will, personality and thus, why they appear to be clones to you. But I digress.

Anyway, since you ask about what you can do, I can give you a few of my rules of thumb.

-Give ppl a chance: when I meet someone new, I'd gauge their interests to see if we're compatible. After interacting with them consistently for say, a month or so, if they still have nothing to offer, I'd just drop them and move on to meet new ppl.

-Open up: if they've passed the 1st screening, you can open up to them a bit and have some deep talks now and then. If they pass this, congrats, you've found a friend. But if they're not compatible, just keep them as ppl-to-hangout with. Yes this sounds pretty horrible but it's a mutual exchange. They probably use you in the same manner so we're even.

-Don't expect too much: ppl in general are the same. Each time you meet someone new, you have to remind yourself, 'we're probably not gonna be friends, but I'll stick around because there's a chance we might be, and I DON'T want to miss that'.

I hope you find a REAL, GOOD friend. Trust me I've had to weed through hundreds of ppl just to find my REAL, GOOD friend, it's like looking for gold in garbage but I'm glad I stuck around and opened up and found her. Our minds are tuned to the same frequency region it's rocking awesome.

PS: someone said that things will change in college. Actually it will not, ppl's personality are relatively stable over the course of their life. It may fluctuate in response to changes in the environment, in this case, college--where you're sucked into the mentality that you HAVE to be social and make tons of friends the 1st yr or 2. After the initial fluctuation, ppl are gonna adjust back to their usual selves, so most of your "friends" end up as superficial contacts whom you'd never open up to or never open up to you. So yeah, college is not the FIX ALL to your problem.

Everybody tries too hard to be different or to show that they're different in some way and they all end up turning out the same. Same goes for the OP as well. I've seen too many people that think exactly the way you do.

So what is it you do at home by yourself all day?
Personally, I think you just think too much.


I guess we can take this and apply it to the OP.


He doesn't have to say it. It's the vibe you get from the things people say. Some people may think that he genuinely needs help and some people may think that he has a "holier than thou" attitude.

^ I agree.

It's not fair to peg everyone as "boring" and equate them to a bunch of cattle and sheep. It's true to an extent, but it's a lot more complicated than that. Nobody likes to be judged in such a way. I'm sure you don't either.

Yes, "faking it" is sometimes necessary. Don't think you're alone in that. We all do it, and yes, most of us realize it. As unpleasant as it is, it has its purposes (as lavendah mentioned above). Society functions better when we do it, but that doesn't mean we have to do it all the time. However, just look at where we are today. Everything we've built and all of our technological advances has been the work of people collaborating together. Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone just kept to themselves and wanted nothing to do with each other?

I don't know what to say. I think this is something you have to find out for yourself. I know it took me a while (I was much like you in high school), but my perspective has changed a lot, and it is continuously changing by the day. People are not as bad as you think once you get to know them. They are interesting, unique, and most importantly, they are flawed just like you. Give them a chance. The world does not revolve around you, and you are not as special as you think (sorry, but it's true) because everyone goes through this same sort of thing. The difference is that some people are able to tackle these challenges head-on and change their mindset while others are not. It seems to me that those who are successful in doing so are able to live much more happier and fulfilling lives.

When you isolate yourself from others and the the world around you, you lose sight of all the opportunities out there. It sounds corny, but it's true. Definitely try to find and make one friend you can really trust and open up to. I think it will have a tremendous impact on your perspective of people in general. Just something to think about. As always, it is your choice in the end.

I apologize for the messy post, but I'm in a rush and about to leave. Just had to share my thoughts though.