men vote only, girls if you have something to say please feel free to write on the thread just like the guys however i would like the poll freely just for guys too use for us to see.

I read somewhere on soompi that fridget girls, or girls with low desire to have sex (this is obviously means when two ppl are in a serious relationship though) is a turn off for men.


I have a LOW libido... i admit it...i've always been this way even with first boyfriend so its not about me being too busy or anything...
We only do it like once a week (4-6 times a month)


So is it true?
No sexuality in girls is a turn off?
Or you find horny girls more attractive?

When i watch tv i always hear men likes it when women take inishative

Hmmm, no sexuality is quite a turn off for me. I think sex plays a part in a relationship for me so yea. It's just another intimate activity I'd like to have in a relationship. It also shows that fire, or spark in the relationship. I'm sure there are guys out there who wouldn't mind it if a girl had a low libido. I wouldn't go look for a girl who's super horny specifically but it would be a plus for me. I would just prefer to have a good amount as oppose to no sexual drive at all @_@

To be honest, to most guys I know... yes. This doesn't mean you have to be a nympho though.

It is until I realize that a horny girl means she's that way with all the guys she met before me.

we are all humans, we have all needs and desires.
if the opposite sex doesn't fulfill your needs. it can be a problem.

remember most divorces happen due to sexual differences.

Contrary to popular belief, not all guys are horny. And even the horny ones can't stay horny for life. Studies have shown that men peak in sexual drive between 18 to around 30. Then, their sex drive begins to fade into their 30s and some men develop sexual dysfunction too. Women, on the other hand, are said to have sex peaks from 30 to 40 and that's explained as being their last chance to have babies.

So, if you're a girl and you're still very young, then you shouldn't worry about it. Sex drive is not fixated permanently. It changes as a person ages. Your prime years are still to come.

Well, I can love/date a girl who wants to abstain before marriage, I have no problem with that.

the problem is that I will prolly end up sleeping with someone I don't love because I'm a guy and thats what guys do - fcuk.

lol i guess its opposite with girls.. guys like horny girls
but for me.. i think its a turn off when guys refuse... lol
i find too horny annoying and disgusting

I think to most guys it can be sort of a turn off..though with the guys I've dated it seemed as though I was more sexual than they were..

The thing about girls who have no sex drive, is that when matched with a guy who has anything but a low sex drive like she does, he's going to have his desire for sex turned down by her periodically (more often than with a girl who does have much of a sex drive, anyhow), and that can begin to make him feel really inadequate. I think on some level, almost every guy wants to know that he gets his girlfriend hot and bothered. There's nothing sexier than the look a girl gives you when she wants you bad, and I think once they've gotten it, a whole lot of guys begin to crave that.

With a girl with little to no sex drive, you may more frequently get, "You're so sweet I love you" looks (which makes us a bit melty on the inside in a good way), but the "I want you so bad right now" looks are either more rare or completely non-existent from this type of girl. A lot of guys need those looks from time to time to make them feel like they've still got it. It makes them feel masculine and powerful, as silly as that sounds.

If there's no sex in the relationship, the one wanting it will look elsewhere

Of course it's a turn-off if there's no sexuality in a girl. I mean, it'd be blue ball hell for the guy (might as well become a eunuch). Some needs must be fulfilled. That's not to say that sex is everything in a relationship, but it will sooner or later become one of the essentials in sustaining it. Captain obvious here speaking.

i think that having a low libido and abstaining from sex are 2 different things.

if a guy feels like he must have sex with his gf so badly, then he should be the one wearing the condoms and making sure that his gf isn't going to get pregnant.
i get the feeling that a lot of guys want the sex, but don't want to seriously and actively participate in the planning that goes behind making a baby (ie- asking the girl to be on birth control and leaving it at that).

if a guy breaks up with a girl because she's not having sex with him, that's something wrong with him, imo.

thank you!!!!!

thats exactly it. Im not avoiding sex. We DO have sex its just that i kinda feel like a chore and i think he can see it in my face sometimes. So its kinda like i need ot ACT horny? i might have hormonal imbalance or something but im gonna go buy some pills that help my libido.
But now im going out to clubs and seeing how my friends are and observing others at clubs, at school, and ppl's relationships..
and i can kinda see guys like girls who throw themselves at them... like super flirty and touchy
and i think its the 21st century and guys dont really care about horny girls anymore
i never hear the terms wh0re or sluts in my area cuz those kinds of girls are the ones that are popular
and loved and cute happy-go lucky girls. I just wanted to know if its like their else where.
And honesty.. i sometimes dont know how to be... if i should be all playful too.

im working on it =(

well you know faking it isn't so bad either.
and 1 extra chore isn't so bad if you love him right?



or are you just feeling down because of low libido... sexual frustration?

Er, if having sex with your SO feels like a chore then maybe you two aren't doing enough to get you in the proper mood? Like, not enough foreplay leading up the main deal? I mean, sex should be a chore, right?

Personally, I don't think it's wrong to have a low libido, that's just how some people are. But do you have a low libido because you just naturally don't crave sex, or is it because the sex isn't as good as it should be?

Like i said on my topic, ive always been like this, even with my other boyfriends. I had boyfriends since i was 14... from 14-23 (im 23) i always had a low libido............

Some people are not sex-crazed. I personally would rather find a girl who's a bit old fashioned, a bit conservative yet liberal (I guess that would be an independent?), and fun.

I don't get why my guy friends all moan about cuddling, I think it's great. Everyone's different. Then again everyone I know I consider a bit harlot-like. This town I grew up in is opposite to my beliefs, which is probably why I've never had GF nor the desire to get one (until I move out of this city). Dirty and dumb is all I see.

maybe you just haven't found anyone (your past bfs, bfs now) who tends to your sexual needs/desires/turn ons enough to make you really want it.

i too never had that high of libido till my last relationship (also had relationships from 14 and I'm 22 now)...but with my ex, it sky rocketed then haha. sometimes it's a matter of whether or not the person pays attention enough to things that you like...if all the guy does is put it in you, and go at it and expect you to enjoy it, well, you're probably not going to. some forms of fore play don't work either, but also i don't think if you're not having sex often and when you ARE having sex, you're close minded about it and thinking of it as a chore...then you're not even going to have the right mindset and opportunity to "explore" and really find out what you both can do to erm please each other.

Yes it is according to my ex.
I am like you in a way.
I feel sex is like a chore too but I did it for him.
I never initiate because I don't crave for it so it made him feel unwanted.
A guy wants to feel hes wanted and good in bed.

No, it just means that the girl can't provide him what he needs in a relationship. Thus, it's meaningless to continue it from his perspective. Ending the relationship is way better than stringing it along.

Sex is just another factor along with looks, intelligence, personality, wealth, etc.

QFT +1

Rainbow lips, I'm not saying this to be rude. I'm not being mean. But if it's a chore to you, then be prepared to lose your man. Unless he's a saint, he'll go elsewhere and you won't like it.

yes it's true and he'll look somewhere else for sure....all guys are like that.

I think in general, men try to realize their emotional needs physically through their bodies. For example: Climbing a mountain or doing those extra reps at the gym to demonstrate their determination. Beating each other up (getting into fistfights) to show that they can't be disrespected. So, all romanticism aside, I think men are hard-wired to associate sex with whatever they're looking for in a relationship (whether it's love, pride, anything really). Sometimes it's just sex. I think women process their emotions differently, so it's not necessary to have a physical outlet for those needs.

Maybe this isn't a gender issue and may make more sense on an individual non-gender-specific basis, but I'm trying to figure this theory out. Anyone know of any sociologists/psychologists that specialize in this sort of behavior? Physical actualization of one's emotions?

+1

A woman who doesn't put out is like a man who's broke.

Someone will put up with them, but they're not gonna like it.

As for the OP's issue.. yeah, a gal who doesn't get into it at all is really boring.. why bother doing it at all if it's not gonna be a little bit crazy.. I would rather sleep.

Pretty much a turnoff, yeah. Voted.

+1 again.

What a girlfriend won't do, other girls will. Not to make your relationship outlook dreary or anything. It's all about compatibility.

Like any other personality trait, sexuality can be complicated, and compatibility is important. If you and your partner aren't on the same page as far as your sex drives (or anything else for that matter) and it's affecting the relationship or the way you feel about yourself, you might want to consider counseling or ending the relationship.

That said, not everyone is the same, and I don't think you can really generalize as far as preferences for either gender. Some people like to have sex multiple times a day, others might only want it once a month, and there are still others that prefer a frequency that falls somewhere between the two, and members of both genders can be found in each category. There are a lot of different factors that can affect a person's sex drive--maybe it's you, maybe it's him, maybe it's the relationship, maybe it's none of the above. You should do what makes you happy and if sex is a chore, you should probably try to figure out why you feel that way.

Exactly. Have you considered that you're not actually attracted to the guys your dating. Sure, you like them a lot but are you actually attracted to them?

note: being attracted to someone isn't them same thing as believing they are good looking

If I found a good girl I doubt this reason alone would be enough to leave her.

We'll do something else instead (play sports, watch series, MMA, listen to some ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-unit, etc.).

um yeah I think eh? Guys want girls to be refined in public, but a freak in bed right lol?
If they're not willing to put out, lots of guys would .... cheat and bail.

I think my thread is helping alot of ppl

Anyways like i said we do have sex.. but not often as OTHERS. He wouldnt leave ever.
Yes im a very good gf, i think thats why he wants to stay with me, im conservative, super loyal, reliable
and other stuff.
I think the part of the reason im writing this is cuz i see other horny gfs who i am friends with... always constantly talking about sex and penis's and they are pretty flirty girls (to other men) and they are easy.
But for some reason.. i use to think guys were against that.. now not so much,,,,
and it makes me wonder.. am i now the "worse" type of gf??? am i that boring? (since guys like to feel jealous and dominated) then maybe i should be all horny and flirty and open minded and playful and stuff

i think one night.. i just felt really down so i made this thread...

except most guys, when encountered with a REAL VIRGIN GIRL (the innocent naive kind they talk about wanting), grow impatient about not getting any action and leave.

Just as there are different types of girls there are also different types of guys. Not every guy likes super conservative girls, but some do, and same goes for those who are more openly sexual.

I really hope so, but its really never 50/50 thats why i made this thread... so far.. the poll is pretty clear.
And its same as for girls the opposite, For girls... me and my friends like guys who arent so horny (majority) we dislike horny pervy guys and find those who arent so horny are the guys who are into their ambitions and schoolwork etc..
but it really seems clear guys like horny girls.

edit;

nevermind. sorry, please delete my post.

Deleting your post doesn't mean I won't warn you.

INTRUDER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree


I agree


But this makes sense. I feel like most guys are on the prowl, and are (at least historically) supposed to be the ones pursuing the girls -- as many as they find attractive, if necessary -- and BECAUSE guys are often less selective, it's then the girls' job to pick and choose. (I know that sounds incredibly unromantic and antihumanistic... I'm just commenting on what I'm seeing, though.) I agree it makes me squirm when I know a guy's sitting there thinking sex sex sex all the time, but I think girls underrate how important sexual attraction really is. Whether you're a person who leans more towards emotional attractivity or physical attractivity or whatever else, the guy you're with really should be making you tick. It's okay for a girl not to be turned on all the time, but that should only make it that much clearer when you find someone who changes that for you. If it's something like a hormonal imbalance, of course that's different, but I honestly do believe that a healthy and lasting relationship is one that at least sometimes has a charge to it. It's one thing to like everything about a person and another to be passionate about that person. Which is why it almost should happen, and is in some ways fortunate, that a guy wants out of a relationship if the girl isn't "putting out" (edit: didn't mean to imply that the absence of sex itself is a problem) at least mildly turned on by him -- he's picking up on the lack of something that is supposed to be there.

This is a very interesting thread I must say.

uh-huh.
and, that's not something that you'd know before dating the person?
if you/any guy feels that sex is very important, then that's something you'd be saying first.
you don't wait a few months and then get pissy because she's not doing it with you.


it depends on why the guy is broke.
is he a university student, or did he lose all his money gambling?

you and the guy above have this huge thing about money and seem to go out of your way to let ppl know that you have money or are interested in getting more or something. this is the 20+ section, not 5th grade show & tell.

If I was not getting enough sex, I'd break up with the girl. Rationalizing it is easy; she's obviously not into you or you're doing something wrong. Would never consider a LT relationship with a girl who doesn't enjoy getting hot and heavy with me. When it tapers off, it is a fairly strong signal that the relationship has changed somewhere and the best solution is to find another girl and repeat until you find a girl where it doesn't taper off.

I disagree. You don't talk about sex the first date unless you want to scare the girl off (if you're looking for a LT relationship). LOL. Most people don't get pissy that their S/O's sex drive doesn't match theirs but they definitely know this relationship won't last. sex IS VERY IMPORTANT in a relationship. Lol. It definitely another factor that leads to cheating and/or divorce/break ups. If your S/O can't give you what you want in a relationship whether it's sex/love/time/etc then why stay with them when you can go and find someone who can provide it?



But what they said its very true. LOL. Most women look at money the way most men look at sex as there are always exceptions. It doesn't really depend on why someone is broke. I mean you can be a university student and not be broke. You can be a working man and be broke. Doesn't matter, you're still broke and probably have a harder time getting women than men that have money. Lol.


Again, like they said money, personality, sex, looks, etc all are factors in finding a partner, but it's all subjective so it varies from person to person but it still matters for the majority of people..a lot. lulz

Amen to that.

Last time I checked, this was "The Real World (20+ Only)". Maybe I'm wrong, but I was assuming that meant it was for people who lived in the real world.

Do people discuss the importance of sex, its frequency, and such prior to dating in the imaginary world that you live in?

i can sort of relate.. with my ex i never really felt any urge to be having sex with him constantly. it's not that i didn't enjoy it, i just didn't want it. obviously it was a turn off for him, since he cheated and found another girl who could satisfy him - which i now fully understand and probably would have done the same thing if i were him. though, with my current boyfriend, my libidos gone up a lot more than before..my friend mentioned something about pheromones... but i'm not even going to try understand that.
you should definitely talk to your s/o about it and see what he thinks, since every guy has different needs.

Yup. Low libido would be a total turn off. Sexual chemistry is as important as pretty much anything else in a SO for me, and the lack of a sex drive would be an immediate game ender as far as the courting process goes.

Then again, some just haven't found the right person to draw their libido out of them. It's not exactly a guarentee that just because a guy/girl wasn't really into sex in a previous relationship, they won't be in their next one.

i agree again with this dude. and i remember agreeing with him a few times before. +1 man.

now here's my pov.

first of all there's nothing wrong with having a low libido so don't get sad or worried that there is something wrong with you. it could very well be that you haven't found a guy yet that can push your buttons correctly, or maybe there's just a chemical imbalance and it can be fixed. don't feel down. don't feel that you are weird.

secondly, i don't think just because your girlfriends are being touchy/flirty/sexual with guys mean they are "throwing themselves" at them. we are all 20+ in here. we have grown up and are understanding proper sexual boundaries and are reaching (if not already) our full potential libido. i don't see anything wrong with girls being the aggressor or initiating in physical flirting, i think its great that contemporary society (more so for western cultures) makes women feel comfortable to do so. i think women in our age group are slowly figuring out their sexual empowerment and they like to participate in "the game", as opposed to sitting on the bench until they get called to play. if you're a girl and you are feeling horny, don't be scared to get yours. face it chivalry is becoming more rare these days anyway.

lastly, guys in general do consider sexuality a key component to a successful relationship. and why are there so many successful, loving relationships out there? because women in general consider sexuality a key component as well and their libido level is just as high as the guys.

remember guys can tell if you are horny or performing a "chore". don't consider sex a "chore". it will make us doubt ourselves, the girlfriend, and the relationship. and you girls know how pathetic an insecure guy can look.

i don't think that ppl'd talk about sex on a first date, but i don't think that they'd skip over it if they'd been dating a while.
if you are looking to get serious with someone, and you find sex to be important, then it's something you should let them know early on.
if you are expecting sex and you're not getting it, and then get pissy because of that, maybe you should have let that person know that that was something important to you before you got to the point where you were going to get annoyed over it.

i don't know what "most women" you get your information from, but "most women" aren't looking for a baller to finance their high-class lives...no matter what you see on tv.

if you are broke or you don't have a lot of money, and there's a good reason for it (and the girl likes you), she's gonna go out with you.

if you are broke because you gamble, don't want to work, etc., then it's going to be harder to get with a girl.
if you guys are only going after the gold digging crowd, you're going to get what you lay in...

^ lolz like what guy actually tells a girl they think sex is important? It's sth unspoken, and besides, most guys do find sex important.

That would be weird if they actually sat down and talked about it o_O