WARNING: REALLY LONG.

Okay so me and Bobby* went out for 1 year and some months but then our relationship went downhill and we fought a lot.. he started to tutor this girl frequently but I never questioned him what they did or anything because I trusted him completely.. After a while, they started texting each other and stuff so I was getting a little suspicious but I didn't say anything then either.

But one day, I really needed him so I called him and asked if I could pick him up but he replied with "No, I'm meeting up with Anne* to help her with math" (finals were that week but it was like 6 days away!) So I promised him that I would drop him off at her house afterwards and that they would have plenty of time to study, but he was persistant and said "No, I can't just ditch her like that"

I was really hurt but I didn't say anything of the sort. But the next day, it really bothered me so I called him and this is how it went:
Me: I don't think this is going to work. Let's break up.
Him: Okay
Me: Aren't you wondering why I'm doing this?
Him: Because you think I like Anne?
Me: Yes, so do you?
Him: No.

but I still broke it off anyways. After like a month or so without talking, we started dating again. He took me to prom and walked me to all of my classes everyday and all that. But before I got too close with him, I wanted to make sure my assumption was true. So one day he was walking me to lunch and I acted like I knew everything:

Me: Tell me the truth. Did you have any feelings for Anne?
Him: Yes.
Me: Did you like her more than you liked me while we were together?
Him: Yes.
Me: Was the only reason you stopped liking her because she liked another guy? (she was hung up on her ex)
Him: Yes.

Soooo, he lied to me, cheated on me (emotionally), liked her more than he liked me, and stopped liking her because she denied him.

After that, summer came and later I found out he liked her a second time in the summer. But now school started again.

Now, he wants to be all official with me and promises that will never happen again. I told him even though we're just dating or fooling around right now, we would NEVER be official and that I'm looking for a better guy than him. But he keeps on trying saying that it doesn't matter what I say, he will never give up on me.

Last week, Bobby planned on treating his guy friend to lunch, but his friend brought Anne with him too. Bobby bought BOTH of them lunch.. and when I asked him why he bought her lunch too, he said it would look rude, if he bought his friend lunch and not her.

It's not entirely jealous of this, it's just that Anne KNEW that Bobby liked her when he was with me because he told her in an effort to get with her so it just IRKS me yanno?! It probably seems to her that he still has feelings for her or something.

So anyways! today, I wanted to go on Facebook on Bobby's computer and when I started to type in Facebook into the navigation bar, all these facebook history came out and I saw "Video's of Anne" on facebook.... so I asked him if he's the one who looked at her videos and he said yeah.. but I know it's not a big deal or anything so I just went back on the computer.

All that said and done, what should I do?

Still look for a better person! I support you! Although I think it was wrong to check his facebook I think it's kind of good in a way because now you know he still thinks of her. By the way I think you're handling this so well o-o.. Especially since you've been with this man for 1 year and a few months? Amazing.

EDIT: Please don't be mean to me T^T... I'm just giving my opinion..><

Haha thanks! this helped me a lot and I wasn't checking his facebook, the search bar thingy dropped down all of his facebook history when i started typing facebook.com to login to mine and that's when it showed me that he was looking at it.

Look for a new dude faaaaast. I mean, I don't know if he "cheated" (sounds like a lot of people on Soompi have different definitions of this) on you but it sounds to me like he is easily persuaded. If he's still going to buy food for that Anne (Annie?) girl you know if he ever got the chance to get with her, he'd take it. Just remember that.

Honestly, I don't really think that qualifies as cheating. Yes, it's a jerkish thing to like another girl when you're dating someone, but he didn't actually do anything with her, and he didn't try to get with her while he was with you. He was just... a jerk about it. But that's the beauty of high school. I'm going to assume you're in high school 'cause of the prom thing.

You really don't have to forgive this guy if you don't want to. You're still young, it's not like you're all settled down with him and married with kids. The fact is, you're too young to feel obligated to give someone a second chance, especially when he's not someone you can trust. A relationship flat out can't exist if there's no trust between the two people, but it's not like you're all super paranoid, you have good reason not to trust him. I think it's good that you told him you'd still be looking for another guy, but I think you should drop him like the dead weight he is. He'll only weigh you down if you don't want to be with him.

Use him to fool around just like he did to you and dont show you get jealous around anne or whatever.

Well, this is understandable. I generally won't treat someone unless I treat everyone, unless it's someone's birthday or something.


With everything else though, I think you should keep looking until you find someone that you're sure you mean everything to and proves that to him you're not just the next best thing that he has to settle for.

Find another boy to pleasure yourself and never trust anyone. Look where it got you? If you trust no one, you can never be betrayed. You learned the easy way.

You can take revenge if you cared that much, but I am sure there are easier ways of satisfying your desire.

...So, like I said, find a boy toy and never trust anyone again.

I know that it might be a little hard for you, but just dump his sorry a.ss. Like seriously ..
You do realize that he just sees you as a rebound, right? I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, but he probably would've gotten with her if he had the chance. Also, you deserve way better than to be 2nd best. Just keep looking for someone else that will treat you the way you should be treated.

All the best,
Tea..

Cheating is never, ever, okay. Find someone who feels the same way.

Don't take him back...take it from someone who knows..lol
How he acted wasn't ok even if he didn't do anything physical with her..(but who really knows if he didn't)



I agree

You want someone who is willing to give you all of their heart and not what they can spare. =P

Cheating is never ok.
And I personally think that cheaters shouldn't ever get a second chance because unless they were raped or drugged or something, it was their choice to cheat. And they should live with the consequences

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

To be honest, he didn't really cheat on you, but I know how you feel... emotionally cheated on. If you love him too much to let him go, I don't know what to say, but it doesn't seem to be the case. I suggest you find someone better before he grows on you.

Yeah, the term "cheating" is being thrown around pretty loosely here.

He did cheated on you emotionally...I think its best to find a new guy and way better than him.

emotional cheating is worse imo. Don't be so darn weak, I'm getting quite annoyed actually, don't get back together with him. Don't give him another chance... bc when he does cheat, and TRUST ME, he will, you'll feel like shi it yet again.

Save yourself the heartache and just move on. Like everyone said before, he would've probably cheated on you (physically) if the girl felt the same way he did.

Aww, girl.. You deserve a much better guy. You shouldn't be held on a string like that - getting booty calls when he wants to fool around or when "Anne" doesn't like him back at the moment. You're so much better than that! Don't be hanging around with that doucher.. he's so not worth you.
Trust me, I've been with guys that have just treated me like a ping pong ball - back and forth always pretending they like me just because they're bored at the moment or something. If you know he's wrong for you, then just bail. You gotta be in control, not following around this guy cause that's what he expects of you.
good luck!

It depends on you really...if you want to give him another chance. If I'm in your situation then I would cut off any communication with Bobby. He's a cheater since he cheated with your feelings and although he like Ann, he did lied to you...so it seems like he's a liar and a cheater...you should think twice before giving him another chance, but I say it's not worth it since he did cheat and lies to you....he could do that same thing again to you...just be smart and don't let him take advantage of you; don't be his booty call.

well he didnt really cheat on you , but still . thats not cool . hahah , i say dont go official . keep looking . you're just dating . & if hes not giving up on you . tell him to prove it if hes really worth . dont trust him , DONT TRUST HIM . tell him if he wants to be official , there are some boundaries . let him know that . & if he wont agree to it , then you wont be official . cause if he did that once. he would do it again . so dont trust him . just , idk . go out with him for now but if anything goes wrong again , end it . i hope i helped. (=

find better guy. you're better off then being with him.
he'll just lie and lie again to cover up for another lie.
he'll just like her more then you in the end. of course you're right
about being jealous. but he's going a bit too far i guess? =/
you should really break it off and find another guy.
a new year a new fresh start <3

that's not entirely cheating, but he did lie to you.

you don't have to look for a better guy for you to move on. just don't let him get to you. make your way to be happy, with or without a new guy.

wow oh wow...i would say dont stay with him. then again...if he is persistent and he really doesnt give up, then decide for yourself if you really want him or not. to me...if he tries that hard then it will be fine if you guys stay together. i dont know if i made sense

Look for a better person
Since that's what you plan on doing...
Go for it!

And break up with that other guy lol
You aren't official, but why be with him at all?
You don't want him anyways !

Why bother giving him a second chance? C'mon, you know that if this Anne girl ever decides to get with him he would drop you just like that again. Or if another girl like Anne came around, he would just do it again to you. He's obviously just making you his "top priority" right now because he has no chance with Anne and hasn't found anyone better than you.. yet. Sorry if this is harsh, but it's true.

You seem like you know you could find better than him one day, so just stop wasting your time with him. Eventually, he will give up on you, just like he did before. You seem so laid-back about the whole situation too. I'm worried he's taking advantage of that. =/ Just be friends from now and stop dating/fooling around with him, you can find way better than him!

I don't see it as cheating, in my opinion. But, I wouldn't stay with this guy. No one likes a liar.

look for a better person! if his feelings can change like that, it can change again, he only liked you because you are a rebound. sounds harsh but it's true.

This. This, this, this.

Look for someone who wants to be with YOU and only you. =)

Good luck.

he seems like a jerk to me that i would have dropped super long time ago. =/
i say don't deal with him.

I would not call this "cheating", though he did lie to you. His feelings for you changed but that doesn't mean he cheated on you because from what you said, Bobby and Anne never dated behind your back since she was hung over her ex. The feelings and actions (somewhat stalking her videos) were one sided.

I agree with everyone else about leaving him though. If he had the chance he would leave you in a split second just to be with her. Could you really live with that? Dating someone who will always have someone else's shadow? That he'll choose to be there for her instead of you when you really need him the most?

Exactly. Good effing luck.

It's silly to think that a person would only ever have feelings for you and you alone for their entire life. You can't control how you feel about a person and sometimes there's more than one person at a time that does it for you. You can control how you handle those feelings but you can't control the feeling itself except to try to quell it or push it away until it fades.

I'm not saying anyone should sit second chair but the reality of it is sometimes that's just the case whether you know it or not.

Wow, you should definitely look for a better guy like you said.
he's using you as a rebound, what a terrible guy.
Dump his bum bum.

Find someone who likes you and only you.
And not someone who likes you back just because the person he liked, likes another guy.
Good luck~

If he keeps doing that, he's obviously not ready for a relationship.
Yes, you could find a better guy.

if he cheated...he cheated.
idk it's really hard to dicipher cuz
ur suposed to forgive, but @ the same time, fate kicks in and it all contradicts everything.
it's all by your gut.
i honestly think u should give him one more chance, but make it a little harder.
cuz as a guy, if u forgave me, i'd love u more

I think perhaps you took what I said a little too literally, though I see why you did. Poor wording on my part.

Anyway, I agree that people sometimes develop feelings for others outside of their relationship, and that it's how they handle those feelings that matters... in this case, I don't think he's handling it very well, and it sounds (at least to me), like he would pick the other girl over her should the opportunity arise; that's why I suggested she find someone else, someone who will pick her first, even if he develops a tad crush on someone else.

THIS IS TRUTH.

the answer is so obvious... continue looking for a better guy..
itz obvious hez still around u coz ur letting him and he thinks he can get the better of it..
once annie or anothrer furl accpets him.. ur nothing anymore

NEVER EVER trust a guy 100%. actually NEVER EVER trust anybody 100%. even if its ur husband.
trust me i learned a very valuable lessons. except ur parent of course, even if ur relative like ur aunt or uncle

soo inconclusion:
DITCH HIM.

That's a matter of integrity and respect rather than emotions and "he likes her more."

I will say that I've been in a relationship, developed mutual feelings for someone else, told both of them how I felt and stayed in the relationship that I was in. When that relationship ended out of respect for myself (and to the disbelief of my ex) I did not pursue a relationship with that other fellow.

I would agree that the OP's guy's moral compass is a bit off BUT look at it from his point of view. Just because the girl he wants the most doesn't want him, does that mean he should be alone? If the person you adored most in the world had zero interest in you that you should spend the rest of your days pining, alone and miserable?

I don't think what he did was wrong, I just think his execution was sloppy.

I see your point. Not really sure if I want to add anything. His situation seems pretty bleak.

I'd like to know what the OP is thinking.

Just dump his ass, and problem solved.

Honestly, it doesn't sound like he cares with the way he's acting when you asked him those questions, forget his ass, he sounds like a complete waste of time, he may even come crawling back, but forget it.
You don't want or need a guy like that now do you? You deserve better, and can do better in fact.

if he was looking at videos of her...he still likes her. you can find a better person

I'm going to tell you this from my experience, personally it wasn't me who was doing the cheating but a friend of mine, he cheated on his girl, they made up, and he kept cheating on her again and again...mind I add that she cheated on him numerous times after...the craziest thing is that they're still together O.O mind boggling ain't it?

If your willing to go through what my friend and his girl went through(a relationship in hell), then be my guest, w.e floats your boat namean?

Drop his ass in a heartbeat. If I were you, I'd keep contact to a minimum and find another guy. He regrets what he
did, now he's going to have to pay the price. You moving on.

DUMP HIS SORRY BUTT!!! what a d-bag!!
honestly..once a cheater, always a cheater.
he clearly didn't learn from his mistakes & it seems like he's back with you b/c he couldn't get with her. she's at fault too if she knows he's with you & she keeps flirting with him.
seriouslyy.. dump him! he doesn't deserve you.

well- it must be because, well it's complicated. i think, because of he didn't get anne- he went back to you but he still has feeling towards anne. well, that was insane, but if i were you- i will continue my relationship with him because i can feel that you still love him even though for what he's done to you

once a cheater always a cheater. If he cheated once, it's likely that he will cheat on you again. Also the fact that he lied to you when you try to break up with him further supports that this guy is a unfaithful prick. Just dump this guy, you deserve a lot better. Or if hes really serious about you this time, tell him to put up "I cheated on my girlfriend and this is my punishment" on his facebook status.