iTz_Soupah_Squirrel
Sep 13 2009, 05:55 PM
We always hear "the rules" from the female point of view... Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
lol ^__^
Choco-Chippudding
Sep 13 2009, 05:59 PM
Hhahahahahhah these are funny!

QUOTE
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
--^ That's really funny XD
rawwr_chihari x3
Sep 13 2009, 06:04 PM
LOL. The rules are funny
Tinnnny
Sep 13 2009, 06:22 PM
1. If you want us to do two things at once, forget it. It's impossible
iTz_Soupah_Squirrel
Sep 13 2009, 09:30 PM
1. Crying is blackmail.
thats the best one in my opinion ^__^
myaimisme
Sep 13 2009, 09:53 PM
yessssss. you tell them!
ichigo_no_powder
Sep 13 2009, 10:09 PM
LOL i'm sending this to my bf.
QUOTE
. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
'but I give very obvious hints' was the first thing that came to mind when i read the first rule!
Boomx2Brian
Sep 13 2009, 10:25 PM
i know this is in the humor section, but a lot of these are flat out true
lieezldesu
Sep 13 2009, 10:28 PM
" 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! "

puahahaha!!
00forever00
Sep 13 2009, 10:54 PM
QUOTE (iTz_Soupah_Squirrel @ Sep 13 2009, 05:55 PM)

1. Crying is blackmail.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
two favorite rules out of all for me....ahahhahahahha
ladies, pls learnt it well
iTz_Soupah_Squirrel
Sep 14 2009, 02:23 PM
QUOTE (Boomx2Brian @ Sep 14 2009, 07:25 AM)

i know this is in the humor section, but a lot of these are flat out true
they r funny tho ^__^"
Hot Fire Neko
Sep 14 2009, 02:35 PM
This needs to be posted in a non-fiction section, not a humor section.
Most are so dead on it's ridiculous.
Chalk-Bandits
Sep 14 2009, 02:39 PM
Hmm..these are so true.
babiloveyoo
Sep 14 2009, 03:41 PM
Hahah that was a good read lols.
iTz_Soupah_Squirrel
Sep 14 2009, 08:16 PM
im glad ppl actually read my post ^__^"
adaytodiefor
Sep 14 2009, 08:22 PM
lol...
these are funny.
wnelek
Sep 14 2009, 08:31 PM
awesome. i'll keep them in mind(;
Tuffcore
Sep 14 2009, 08:34 PM
QUOTE (iTz_Soupah_Squirrel @ Sep 13 2009, 06:55 PM)

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
This is number 1 on a list of all number 1s for a good reason!
strawberry_hit
Sep 14 2009, 08:35 PM
lol..the last one did it...hahaha
san-ni-ichi
Sep 15 2009, 06:32 AM
These are so true, hahaha ^^
thisismyv
Sep 15 2009, 12:47 PM
HAHAHA! I totally agree with #1, it just makes sense!
Everlasting Melody;
Sep 15 2009, 09:01 PM
That's a pretty funny list xD
brownman90561495
Sep 15 2009, 09:27 PM
very true

i've read this one long ago. and actually there's a female version of this one. hope some would post it here.
bubblepeach
Sep 15 2009, 11:58 PM
Ahahaha I like those
HuanLe
Sep 17 2009, 05:14 PM
Why's everything labelled with 1? LOL. Like I know it says it's labelled 1 on purpose, but what's the purpose?
FallenSkies
Sep 17 2009, 05:36 PM
lol haha, i've heard these b4. my teacher read them out in class xD
刘尚明
Sep 17 2009, 05:44 PM
I wish all females could read this and memorize it...
brenni.
Sep 17 2009, 06:36 PM
I acutally remember reading this on a fanfic once (the author incorporated it into the story). It was hilarious then and its still hilarious now.
eunsolee
Sep 17 2009, 07:37 PM
QUOTE
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Crying is blackmail.
*.:AnGeL*BAbII:.*
Sep 18 2009, 06:59 AM
QUOTE
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
LOL! so straight forward "you probably are."
QUOTE
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
lol so true!
thanks for sharing.
iTz_Soupah_Squirrel
Sep 18 2009, 02:32 PM
QUOTE (HuanLe @ Sep 18 2009, 01:14 AM)

Why's everything labelled with 1? LOL. Like I know it says it's labelled 1 on purpose, but what's the purpose?
they r all number 1 because they are all number one rules ^__^
jumpii
Oct 2 2009, 06:45 AM
HAHAHA! these are hilariously funny
even though it is directed to us girls :L
yjfbehappy
Oct 2 2009, 08:27 PM
haha... totally agree with that
chungalung
Oct 3 2009, 04:50 PM
QUOTE
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
LOL. WOW. I love this. This is amazing. I will keep all of these in mind. Roflmao.
mango-iee
Oct 3 2009, 06:36 PM
LOL. my friend send me this a couple of days ago XD
so funny x) !
x. S o R a
Oct 20 2009, 11:23 PM
QUOTE
1. Crying is blackmail.
LOL. this one is so true

most girls use this as an advantage.
Honey.bee
Oct 21 2009, 04:10 PM
Haha, these are so true. Girls are so obvious now, aren't we?
XxKhmerBoiXx
Oct 21 2009, 04:26 PM
hahahah these are hilarious xD
forgottenseason
Oct 21 2009, 04:29 PM
This was really funny and from what is logical && what I hear from my guy friends, it's so true. xD
kerpao
Oct 23 2009, 09:56 AM
lol i love this haha. quite true. i just need to stick with them
sallyen
Oct 23 2009, 10:09 AM
QUOTE (iTz_Soupah_Squirrel @ Sep 13 2009, 07:55 PM)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
lol ^__^
lol. those are funny. I never really thought of the toilet one ^^
ohNO not Vivix3
Oct 27 2009, 02:41 PM
lmao.
these are funny, yet true for certain men...
Regina Rae
Oct 27 2009, 02:55 PM
QUOTE (iTz_Soupah_Squirrel @ Sep 13 2009, 08:55 PM)

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
Bahaha. I love men :)
charat
Oct 28 2009, 03:47 PM
and all the girls of soompi just laugh it off =3=
Papa Snorlax
Oct 31 2009, 10:21 AM
haha this is true:
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
loveesky
Oct 31 2009, 11:40 AM
hahaha sweet i love it

it's true for most/all of them o___O
vietbaby_
Oct 31 2009, 01:44 PM
these are so true : )
i had a good laugh readin` them though.
jhealizzie
Nov 1 2009, 03:06 AM
LOL XD
those are true.
i can see that to my guy friends && my boyfriend
oObbyxdoll
Nov 1 2009, 03:14 PM
LOL finally a list of things from a male perspective
chiho
Nov 1 2009, 03:18 PM
this is interesting lol.
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