So... I realized something today. I think I have a fear of dating hot guys. When hot guys show an interest in me or ask me out on a date, I always rule them out and put them on "I would never seriously date list." The reason is because I tend to assume that all the hot guys are players and it wouldn't be worth pursuing a serious relationship with them. In a sense, I stereotype them all into players.

Now, I don't know most of these hot guys that have asked me out very well. I know it's wrong to generalize but I can't seem to help it. Do any of you guys reject all the hotties due to this 'fear?' I just thought it would be an interesting thing to discuss!

EDIT:

haha it was interesting the replies! I'm not scared of the hotties. It's just that I generalize them into the 'player' group and don't give them a chance. And it's really bad cuz I've rejected a lot of the really cute guys due to this reason. I can't seem to get over the idea that a lot of hot guys tend to be players.

Oh, and I feel kinda bad cuz this really cute guy that asked me for my number at Hollister (haha. He works there) keeps texting me to hang out and get something to eat and I keep making excuses. But I can't help thinking that he just wants sex and that he probably does this to a lot of girls. =( So I keep on rejecting him...

Awh ; hun don't generalize! You never know one of those hot guys could be the one. Of course getting hurt is always feared but it'll hurt less to take a chance.

No way, I would never reject a hot guy offer unless he's a douche then I might reconsider. Well, don't be scare of hot guys, they are just like you. I mean if a hot guy is interested in you for they even ask you out then it's a pretty good chance to say that, you are hot/beautiful and attractive to them too.

....yes T.T
before i was just intimidated by them, but after i actually tried to work it out with this one guy......
it was bad....he was already going after another girl while he was still leading me on...and the worst part is hes a year younger than me

i'll tell you when a hot guy finally walks up to talk to me.

but if i had to imagine myself in that situation... then i'd probably reject if they're totally obnoxious and cocky. otherwise i'd be too in awe with their looks to care

I get imitidated by hot guys, I also think that I'm not good enough for them etc. ><
But I wish a hot guy ask me out though :X ? Maybeh im not so great after all TT~TT

i've never dated but in my mind, hot guys are the guys that i daydream about.
in reality, i wouldn't date them just b/c they're too good for me and i do sometimes stereotype them.
and i don't have low self-esteem.

Not everyone is the same, maybe just give it a try?
Even if it doesn't work out, you could say you've dated a hot guy before? haaaah

But well this girl I like and it's kind of the same problem because I think she's really pretty and I thinking to myself why would she ever like me? Since I bet she could get such a better looking guy anyways.........

well I've never dated but I wouldn't want to date a hot guy >.< I don't think I'm pretty or attractive so it makes me feel like I'm not good enough for them... I rather date an average/unattractive/nerdy guy

you don't have to be a hot guy to be a player. Ugly guys can be just as bad, and just because they're not hot doesn't mean they're loyal either. Give guys like me a chance at least before you judge. It's tough being hot sometimes. We're not pieces of meat, we're human beings. ok enough joking around hehe, in all seriousness, it's not good to assume.

Haha. I agree. I still get flustered around good-looking guys which is stupid. Anyways, if you want to date one, you need to get the ones who aren't aware of their good looks.You know... the ones who aren't conceited and stuff. But then... that would be too perfect and perfect doesn't exist in this world. All the hot and nice guys are taken or gay.

I think you should just give them a chance. Although there is a greater chance that the guy could be swayed by other girls attention...however that is a chance you just have to take. Who knows, even if it doesn't work out, well you dated a hot guy...that should always be a confidence booster.

Wow, you get approached by all these hot guys but you're not interested in them?
lol there's probably a lot of angry girls in front of the monitors.

If you think hot guys are bad, there's still good news: a guy doesn't have to be hot, to be physically appealing.

Yeah, I know I know but you know those typical hot guys that just wants sex from girls? I think that stereotype just sticks in my head everytime a hot guy approaches me. Sigh. Like that guy that I mentioned in my OP..I keep rejecting him because I think he just wants to have sex.

You really can't judge a book by its over.
A guy may be hot and total sweetheart, or he may just be a douchebag. Either way, you will never, ever know until you give them a chance to talk.
Life's too short; take a risk!

i dislike those hot looking cocky guys .
but sometime some of them aren't bad if they're not too full of themselves .

Consider yourself lucky hot guys even ask you out lol.
But I can see where you're coming from. There are good looking people who use their looks to their own wishes.
And then there's genuinely nice cute guys. You have to strike up a conversation to know that fact though.

I used to feel the same way about hot guys and I still do a little. Hot guys seem like jerks or players. If you think about it, there are some hot guys who have an actual heart but I`m not saying many lol. I would know because I have some hot guy cousins who have a really big heart and are not like that with their girlfriends at all. Don`t judge a person from the outside (; Give it a chance and see how it goes because not everyone is the same.

~Nuey

No, but I've been taught my lesson, too.
I always gave guys so much credit. I had never understood why girls thought men were so evil. For the years and years I dated so many different people, they were all super faithful and loving and nice.
Then, I met the guy before my current boyfriend, and man, was he effing gorgeous.
He lied to me, led me on, was seeing other women behind my back, told friends of mine that he was just playing me, etc etc. It sucked pretty bad.
However, I think my boyfriend now is super fine, so I guess I didn't rule out hot guys just because of that jerk. Thank goodness, cuz my boyfriend now is a sweetheart.

i used to think that if any good-looking guy asked me out, it was a joke or a dare. now i don't care so much, but i still have my doubts every now and then about their intentions (my ex was freaking hot, but he cheated on me).

I get you; I always go "No way, they're too hot for me. This must be a bet or something."

Yes, i have the same fear =(...i always think they are players >.<

I would be flattered if they asked me out. I wouldn't be intimidated, but curious on what attracted them to me.

I guess I can sort of see the twisted logic in this, since confidence in guys is considered attractive, and there's a fine line between being confident and being a conceited tool.


Don't be so quick to judge though. There are some nice guys out there that aren't too bad to look at either, believe it or not.

I was so intimidated by good-looking, hot guys before, but that's a different issue.
Anyway, not all hot guys are players. Some of them are incredibly kind, sweet and gentlemanly. My boyfriend is the perfect example of a hot and nice guy ^-^ <3.

Don't be on your guard too much and get to know them ^^ ~ you'll find that some of them aren't as bubble gum-ish as you think they are.

Hahaaa, I do that too.
Except my friends call it the 'Pretty boy bias'.
I usually refuse to like 'pretty boys' because they're usually the ones that are jerks and most likely to break my heart.
I have yet for anyone to prove me wrong.
d:

haha im scared of hot guys but for a different reason. i always think that i can never live up to their looks. even if they tell me im beautiful or whatever, i hardly believe it at times, and ill always be thinking that im not good enough looking for him.

No. I guess I just don't equate good looks with poor self control and immorality but then, I've lived all my life against first impressions. I dress like a badass--but I'm in law school and own my own condo and am intelligent and come from a good family...I just love leather jackets way too much! I look like I probably wouldn't be a faithful lover--but I am. I talk like I was raised by sailors--but I've probably been to invited to classier venues than most people my age. Frankly, I enjoy packaging the content of my existence in something that is completely paradoxical to what that content is. And, in many ways, I do it as a test to those around me. People who can see past my offputting appearance are people who can read past the cover of the book. They are people who aren't superficial or shallow and usually, they're pretty smart and funny. I like hanging out with people like that.

My advice is to judge everyone separately. I've known many a pretty boy with a heart of gold.

Hmm so from what I read so far, it seems like most of you don't have the same fear as me but have different fears like not being good enough for them or thinking it's a joke. It's funny how we tend to stereotype people

yea I am sort of in the same boat as you..I'm not necessarily "scared" of hot guys..I just put it in my head that I cannot take it too seriously or I would get burned first..I once dated a very hot, very good looking guy and it was great when I'm staring at him (haha) but at the same time it was exhausting..always being self-conscious b/c he was better looking than me, girls (and some gay guys) hitting on him constantly, and also sometimes when I looked at him..it was weird..i couldn't look away b/c he was soo freaking good looking!

so years later, while I've still hooked up with hot guys, I never bothered to take it further and have a relationship. they're great eye candy but maybe that experience scarred me and my self esteem never fully recovered. I've also found that hot guys lack a level of just-rolled-out-of-bed-rugged masculinity that I like..

you're flattered that a hot guy pays attention to you.
but then, you realize, that since he's hot, there's BOUND to be a million girls in the school that want him to.
so then, if you hangout with him, you can always feel other girls staring or glaring at you.
.____. quite intimidating.

you must be really PRETTY then =D
but true truee >.<

i always think that too

i'd feel sketchy about dating hot guys :S usually ther's a lot of girls around hot guys cause theyre so hot ( lmao ) and i'd be afraid he wouldn't be able to resist, and cheat

but it all depends on the guy. if he's hot and a player, then heckk noooo. but if he's hot and isn't a player, then yes

I feel intimidated by hot guys XD They're nice to look at from afar sometimes, but I don't think I'd even be able to talk to them, like I'm not hot enough to be near them LOL.

same here, i stutter and become flustered when i find out a hot guy likes me. i would think they are too good to be true. i rather find a guy who i'm more comfortable with . but really, there could be a guy out there who is both hot and the perfect boyfriend.

I feel the same way. Besides, hot guys always end up being my friends, if/when they say they like me I think I'd freak out and feel awkward. At the back of my head I'd be saying things making me even more paranoid of how wrong it is, there's somrthing fishy. xD~

Yeah, but how do you know if he's a player or not when you don't know them that well? The hot guys that usually ask me out are like strangers or people who I see sometimes in classes but haven't talked to them or if I did talk to them, only a couple times.

Sometimes I do think it's a joke because I'm not that pretty or interesting so I don't know what they could possibly see in me.

lmao this is a funny topic!!

I thought about this too, but not in the way you do. I know this guy, but not really . I don't like him, but I notice there's a lot of girls drifting around him all the time. He's got a lot of girl-friends as in friends that are girls more so than guy-friends. He's not gay though, and he's not all that great looking either. But I can't help but wonder how his gf might feel. I mean I'm a girl, if I'm single and I see a hot guy I can't help but stare either. What if I get a good looking bf and I turn into a jealous/over-protective monster? But then again, if he's not the flirting machine, then you've got yourself a pretty good deal XD

i totally understand how you feel.
i also automatically categorize them too.
i guess it just became a norm for me to do.

my friend wanted to talk to his really handsome Vanness Wu looking guy, (well at least i think Vanness is handsome)
but somehow i just shot down that idea. lol. i didnt even think twice about it.
i didnt even feel bad about it, i felt more like... i'll save myself some headache incase he's a jerk, etc.

cause i know how evil people can use their good looks. not on me you evils!!!!!!!

and not to be mean but somehow i feel like 'hot' guys are... brainless? or like, brainless ness ess.
yah, like maybe they know how to mack on a girl, but do they know anything beyond that?
hey, but that's just what i've seen and heard about in my real life.
hot guys from tv weren't included in my response.

but oh im sure there's a nice hot guy out there in the world that would break my and all our stereotypes

^ I AGREE

i stereotype them .. like they're clueless or jerks. boo

when i see hot guys i LAUGH .. not giggle like a little girl but just LAUGH alot that i cant even talk ... so i have to turn around and calm myself down .. they probably think im laughing at them T_T

yes ... and with good reason TT__TTstay away from older guys !!!

Best hint that it's NOT a player:
1.) If they are extremely persistent and keep asking you out. Even if asking you out fails, they will try to be friends.
2.) If they show they are trying to know YOU and not your body. .

A player generally just move on to the next girl if he gets rejected and will show no signs of wanting to know your personality, hobbies, ect... (could even ignore you).

i agree with you... but i don't cross them out. i try and give them the benefit of the doubt. like recently, i tried to give this guy a chance because he SEEMED genuine. KEY WORD seemed. so i gave him a chance. and boy was it a big mistake. he's your typical popular jock in high school that every girl just has a natural crush on. and of course i gave him a chance, i mean come on out of all those girls he notices me? sooo... yeah big mistake. hot guy=trouble. especially if it's a guy that already has a bad rep... better make him work hard to see if he's real or just an illusion.

You should consider yourself lucky that a guy is even asking you out. Most of the guys are now homosexual. Please do yourself a favor and stop rejecting straight men as they are becoming extinct.

Lol.

I think of hot guys just like you, either they are a player or cocky...and most often, they are! Next time, get to know them and then decide weather they are good or bad=] good luck!

I have a fear of dating idiots. It's essential the same thing.

I see your point

Ive only ever dated one attractive guy and he was a player... hahaha but yeh i wouldnt really date a really hot guy either ... well have a serious relationship with one.... because then id knw hes better looking and id be like "oh is he looking at other girls etc" id be too insecure to pursue it any further

But i mean not all hot guys are players ~ and anyway everyones defintion of hot could be different!!

have you been hurt like this before?
just go on a date with him, you dont have anything to lose with this guy.
just dont get raped =3
and hey...don't be afraid to take risks.
if you make a mistake, you'll learn from it and grow from it.
you'll be fine. as long as you have friends with you in the long-run.