I used to be a really happy and bubbly girl. I loved everything about life, but I recently found myself to be clinically depressed. All I ever want to do is sleep, because my belief is that when you sleep everything just goes away. You don't have to think and I don't want to go through things I've went through in my past. The littlest things people say will make me cry. It's not a simple matter of me being a crybaby, it's much more. I laugh, but I don't smile...never.. I never show an interest in school anymore. If I'm awake, all I want to do is write about how stupid and pointless my life is, how much everything hurts whether it be physically or emotionally. I've had multiple thoughts of suicide. Sometimes, I just don't want to live. I have to put on a mask everyday, pretending like I'm having the time of my life so I don't hurt people around me but inside I'm hurting. My heart aches, my head hurts. There are times where I just sit in the corner of a room and cry. Last night was one of these times and I had another suicidal thought.

Has anyone ever felt like this before? :/ I don't suppose anyone would want to talk about it, but I don't believe it'll make me feel any better just having it all bottled up inside of me.

i went through something like this when i was from around 11-12. i was just very depressive about life and everything. i was not actually depressed though. i was never diagnosed with depression. i think it was just kind of like a "phase" for me or something.

people usually say to seek help if you find yourself like this, but i didn't even want to tell my parents or anything because i thought they would find me pathetic and get angry. of course, they wouldn't. i was just being pessimistic and depressing, lol.

anyway, mine was pretty much just a stage for me. all those feelings and thoughts just pretty much subsided after about a year.

but, i think you should try to seek some help and support. tell your parents and your close friends. because you don't need to go through this all alone. they're there for you.

I think everyone has experienced such feelings, but of varying degrees. You shouldn't hide what you feel - tell someone. Your friends, parents or whatever. You shouldn't suffer alone.

this is like the 54th thread i've seen on soompi about people feeling depressed and that whole putting on a mask thing. so cliche.

if you really are clinically depressed go take some prescription medicine like zoloft.
seriously if it's such a big deal and you're not just looking for attention go see a shrink, take medication and get better.

If you are depressed, I would suggest that you do not talk about it on a forum, unless it is a forum especially for depressed people. Otherwise, you may face comments from others that can make you feel even worse.

Like so.
But, I couldn't help giggle at their signature and avatar. XD

Buuuuut it really sounds like you need to seek help. Do you not have anyone you can vent this out to in real life? It's all fine and well posting on soompi but, to be frank, it'll not serve much justice. I advise that you seek someone you can talk to freely with and get it all out. It might make you feel a ton better. If you think you really are suffering depression, see your doctor and seek proffessional help. As that saying goes, don't suffer in silence.

Best wishes!

If it's 'not a joke' then treat it seriously. A forum post won't do anything but possibly garner some sympathy. It won't magically solve your problems. What you need to do is talk to a professional, even if it's just your school's social workers (or counselor- whatever your school calls it). They will help get you the proper treatment you need (if it does end up being depression).

Like what eternal_bliss said, this is something that should be treated seriously. You should talk to your parents about this, or at least tell a friend or bestfriend whom you know you can trust.

I know what you're going through, because I've been in that situation and it would be best if you can go see a counselor or a doctor. Others would find it embarrassing, but really, there's nothing wrong with that. It would really help you cope and sort out things.

i don't get why "serious" depressed people come on here to ask for advice and share.
if it's that serious get professional help.

People are missing the point. She has been diagnosed with depression, meaning that she is already under a professional's care. I mean, you can't be clinically depressed with out a diagnosis from a health care professional.

P.S go to a psychiatrist, my mother suffers from clinical depression. Don't be afraid, they will help you and your quality of life is worth it.

I went through something like this 2-3 years ago. It was so intense and I just couldn't share with anyone.. not my boyfriend at the time, my friends, my family, because in my mind it didn't matter. I just wanted everything to end. I slept almost 24/7 in hopes that time will pass more quickly and I won't have to deal with life. NOTHING interested me despite my feeble attempts to cheer myself up. Buying things, having lots of money, traveling, etc... I tried everything.

I wish I could tell you that it will heal but it's still a struggling process for me now. I do feel a bit more in control of my life and 9/10 days I wake up and don't feel the GREAT urge to close my eyes and wish the world (or myself) to disappear.. but there's always that 1 day that makes all these dark thoughts looming back.

If you want, PM me and we can share and help each other? I am getting a lot better these days so perhaps I can lend an ear. =]

For every minute that you don't smile or don't have a reason to smile is a minute of your life wasted.


& I realized that people are unhappy because they aren't living life to their fullest potential. Sure they are upset here and there but there's no use in being upset or angry. It's unhealthy and it's a waste of precious time.

<3?

What have happened to make you so depressed?
To tell u the truth, i was once like you.
I skip school, I don;t go out. I just stay in my room
Cry or think about suiciding,
and infact, I did tried to suicide by eating pills.

Now to think of it.
I was really stupid because of low-self esteem problem.


Go see a doctor/councilor or someone you feel comfortable with, and talk to him/her about it!

Yes and I've done stupid things, even though I knew they were stupid.

Anyway, I don't think anyone can be "cured" from depression if it was something they've always had. If depression was triggered by something like a "trauma" then, yes I think that person can be "cured".

It's something you have to deal with, find the most effective way of motivating yourself when you're feeling depressed. Being with someone who cares about you is really important because it seems like feeling lonely would be a bad position to be in.

There are also drugs you can take which are meant to help, somehow. I've never taken any so I can't really help you with that. I think there's a thread about it here.

HTH

i think everyone at one point goes through a really dark time in their lives especially teenagers and they get really sad. if you think it's really depression then go seek professional help. you can't say you are clinically depressed without being properly diagnosed. if you think it's so serious, you really shouldn't post a forum thread to treat your depression. i'm trying really hard not to hurt your feelings here but honestly i don't get why "depressed" people post threads and expect it help them. if you really are depressed, you can be put on medication and be referred to a therapist.

don't you have a school counselor that you can talk to? or go to a local church and talk to the pastor or teen counselor. you aren't going to get better by posting a thread in a forum. if things are so serious, stop spending your time on the internet and go get real help.

I talk alot back then, sometimes even crap secrets to people.
But now I've become super quiet.
I don't know what to talk about when I see people.
Somehow, it's like that!
& I don't really have close friends.
I'm depressed not because I'm quiet though.

It's most likely just a phase. How old are you? I was depressed around thirteen to fourteen. You can't just be depressed, there is always a reason. If you are just depressed for no reason, then you are putting it on yourself. Find out what is making you depressed and get away from it or confront the person, if it is a person, and explain everything. I had a. .friend and someone I liked who was making me extremely depressed and one day I told them I couldn't talk to them and now I feel way better. I'm not depressed (least I don't think so XD). Good luck and don't think so little of life. Life is important because you only have one chance, don't waste it away by sleeping. Get out and find a hobby that will stop your bad thoughts from suffocating. Also, if your depression worsens, talk to a doctor, councilor, someone, before it gets into 'the danger zone'. (I am not a doctor, I am just giving you my opinion)

If you aren't joking, don't tell us, try and get some help. If your parents are anything like mine, you'll have to adament about wanting the help. It'll be better for you in the long run.

btw...don't kill yourself!

everyone dies eventually anyway.

alcohol sometimes helps me wen i got the blues

also i don't think there's such a thing as suppressing your sadness.

if you can make your own mood better/brighter, you're not faking it, that happy mood is REALLY happening inside of your brain.

on the other hand, i was watching a show on hbo and a crazy psychologist guy said life is misery by nature and you only get temporary relief/happiness randomly and that learning to cope with ur misery was a form of happiness too hahaha.

anyway

who knows?

no one knows!

i think i just responding to this cuz i was like this for all of highschool

i'm old now

old enough to drink

hurray

I'm like this...
But not as bad as it seems for you,
When I was in 8th grade I was so depressed for 2 weeks in December that I had stomach aches that made me basically stay in bed every day.
There's no joy in life anymore, I'm happy but things don't seem the same. It's pretty bad, I feel robotic and fake sometimes.
I'm going to counseling right now, I joined counseling last Spring but it didn't seem to help so I quit, but lately I've been so lonely I decided to start up again.
I never think of suicidal thoughts and it's interesting because most teens do have suicidal thoughts.
I've thought of Heaven and how much I want to be there cause it seems so perfect, but killing myself had never popped up in my head.

All I can say is, please tell your parents, set up a doctor's appointment and tell them about these symptoms or go to your school counselor and talk to them, see if they have any advice.
GOOD LUCK, I know it sounds stupid to say good luck but there's always hope.
Oh, and get offline and do some active stuff... I think being online is just pretty bad for you, I need to learn how to do this as well. (:

i believe friends are good in this case.
not necessarily Disney-type friends, always have your back, always happy on the other end of the phone, always there as a shoulder to cry on,

but like... just people who can get you out of bed, and keep your mind off yourself.
perhaps even introduce you to a hobby. martial arts kept me from losing my sense of self-worth, being bullied most of my schooling life.

as long as you're looking forward to something in the future,
and to feel that it's not such a bad thing to not have what others have.

always remember. happiness isn't about obtaining something. it's a philosophy of life.
o-0' it's weird though. i remember doing a cheesy exercise [say 'i love you' in the mirror'], and i didn't expect it. but i started crying.
'course, i laughed it off later.

If you don't want your friends to worry, then you can try talking to a counselor or a teacher about it. They care about you way more than you may think they do, trust me. I think you should talk about this depression of yours first before deciding that it's "clinical" and you may need pills from a doctor or something. Maybe it's just a phase you're going through. ^^

get professional help (although i personally think that its a mind problem that cant really be fixed by medicamentation or a psychiatrist)
i have never felt that way and thus cant help, but when i am feeling down i usually sit down at a quiet place (go outside, to the park ... nature is always good) and listen to some music

I felt like that when i was around 13 or so, i'm 18 now and i get that feeling once in a while, the feeling where you feel that you are completely alone in the world, like even if you speak English, you still feel like you're speaking a foreign language to people. This may sound corny, but then i started to look into music, that was when i found Korean Pop. It became everything that i did, i watched Korean Pop, tried to study the language, played an instrument to further my music knowledge, practiced music because it was something to keep the train of life hitting you hard.

I think that you just writing it all out helps. Write it out in a Word Doc, that's what i'm doing now, and it helps because it lets you just flush everything that you've been thinking about out into a blank Word Document. Or even start writing a story, that will keep you occupied, and with a story, you can create anything.

Just keeping yourself busy (the good kind) will help. Not the kind where you work your butt off to keep something out of your mind. But to me personally, music sort of saved me, i stopped thinking bad things, i started to feel more productive with life, you do more than just mop around about how life sucks.

i hope that this helps. if it doesn't, i'm sorry, i tried^^

Gee, you sound well-informed about what your symptoms mean.
You sound pretty depressed all right.
Depending on what the psychiatrist says and what your parents want for you,
you may have to take meds for the rest of your life.
Esp. if you have voices or hallucinations...
1 in 4 people get a mental illness by way of depression, bipolar, etc.
And you're definitely not alone, it's really because of the changing environment.
Bad water, pollution and the other ugly stuff...
Keep coming to soompi, keep crying, keep going....
And listen to korean music, it keeps the soul happy.

There are several types of depression and told by my doctor and research that it's usually caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. People may have gone through something to lead to depression or suffer several symptoms because of depression. But it's chemical imbalance may not just be the leading cause of depression, it could have been brought on from somethign traumatic, loneliness, relationship problems or just whatever. I, myself was diagnosed with depression as well but before I went to go see a doctor for it, I think I kept it to myself for about 4 years before I went to seek medical help. Don't wait like I did. If you know you have it or have signs of it, do not be ashamed. Get it diagnosed as soon as possible. Alot of people don't see depression as anything huge but it can be extremely debilitating in your life if you let it keep affecting you. Sleeping for how many hours a day, how many days a week, for god knows how many years is just a waste. They will help you determine if you need anti depressants because such medicine helps control the chemical imbalance or they might suggest a psychiatrist. For me I had both and personally the therapist was no help whatsoever but the medicine did. Maybe for other people it could be the opposite. I wasted alot of my life because of depression, don't fall victim like I did but I went and that's all that matters cus I feel like it saved me even when I had no faith in anything. Also, if someones seeking advice or help here, I don't see a problem because she's looking for someone who can understand and relate and sometimes, people in your life just don't understand like someone who has gone through it. If you ever need some advice or just someone to talk to msg me =) Most of the time you feel alone and really, you aren't. Don't be afraid and don't be ashamed. Hope you feel better soon.

i agree. you should talk to someone and let it all vent out.
and your not alone.... apparently 1/5 ppl suffer from depression in somepoint in their lives....

and although this isnt probably what you want to hear...but i think itll help you cope.

... you should definately think of getting some aerobic exercise in
try running or something.
it might sound totally random and crazy. but exercise can help in a lot of ways.
...itll help balance your NT levels in your brain (similar to effects of antidepressants
...it'll increase your endorphin levels (hormones in your body that can act like natural morphine)
and a bunch of other things i wont get into.

im not sure of the circumstances that lead you to this state. but i hope you get better soon =)

i know how you feel. gah. tried telling my ex-best friend about it and she told me to just man up and get over it. i couldn't tell my parents because they're ultra conservative and when they found me crying in my room they thought i was possessed i can laugh about it now, but i'm still bitter.

yes, i felt ashamed. talking about it just made me more aware of how disgusting i found myself. but you know what? depressing is an illness just like any other and the only way to get better is to ask for help and take medication. i know it's easier to just run and hide from the world, but if you can just muster the courage to reach out for real help, eventually you'll be glad you took that leap of faith.

it'll still be hard, but at least you'll have people to support you. =]

they say meds are 50% effective, but placebos are 40% effective...HOWEVER if you have thoughts of suicide, i'd recommend counseling.

and...see a psychiatrist. not a psychologist...get diagnosed properly before committing yourself in any direction

and...life sucks sometimes. and if you're still a teenager, i feel bad for you. teens are awkward for everyone. except the super busty early bloomer cheerleader types.

I don't get why posting to soompi means you're not already getting help elsewhere. The more support the better, it's not good to only put on your sad face when it's appropriate.. because that's not how it works, really. I'm similar right now and it's just so hard to be positive, a bit surreal and not very in-control when you're aware of all the positives but they have no impact.. I'm totally bitter about it, because I keep being told I have to change something if I want change, but I want my life back to how it was before, not new and improved. If I was fine before in this situation why can't I be now? sort of thing. These feelings are frustrating and lame.

OH MY GOD THATS EXACTLY WHAT IM FEELING RIGHT NOW . EVERY SINGLE WORD .

i feel like writing down my feelings ALL the time when im online (blog) . i shut myself in a room with the lights off and i'll stay there for 2 hours- crying . i dont like school anymore and im always...thinking about dying . no, im serious . im REALLY feeling you right there . i really do not know how is it possible that we are both going through the same things .

i really dont know what to do . ):

it takes one to know one . if you're a happy kid, good for you and congratulation .

i dont know about others but in my case, i cant possibly get professional help because...in my society, nobody sees a psychiatrist unless critically mentally ill, which we arent . we're just..not the type to go running to a doctor when we get a papercut, you know? it takes REAL problems to see a psychiatrist . plus, im 15 . how do i explain to my parents 'hey you know what? i think it's your fault that im having this god damn sickness . it is your fault i get looked down on everyday . i want a way out . i'm tired of being your 'perfect daughter', doing things behind your back . if you aint gonna buy me cigs, send me to a psychiatrist because i absolutely hate this environment im stuck in.'?

gah i dunno how to explain this but basically my parents themselves are ANGRY at me for being depressed so tell me, what kinda medical help will be efficient lol . my mom herself is sick and she goes on and on about how 'im not the only one fighting the battle and its not okay for me to throw tantrums' . there, i said it . in my home, it's not okay to be sad . it's not something people understands .

if you are upset, its a 'why the hell are you so angsty all the time? can you STOP being upset because its not our fault that you're sad and we cant help you'.

i cant speak for the thread starter but this is from my personal pov . im guessing that the ts isnt looking for pity here, she's just seeking for some kinda solace, understanding and advice (the same applies to YOU who posts in love and relationship forum) . just because you arent capable of providing helpful advice it doesnt mean that nobody here could help in any way . i really appreciate those who took the time to share about themselves and try to cheer the ts up .

comments like this makes me angry. go read up on what clinical depression really is before you post ignorant words like this (http://www.emedicinehealth.com/depression/article_em.htm) and please, i beg of you, distinguish facts from your own generalizations, they're clearly not the same.

a lot of people downplay depression and stereotype/generalize that everyone who claims they're depressed is either 1) an ungrateful loser who just can't snap out of it and get on with life, 2) attention rainbow, or 3) a whiner who is really just having a bad day. our society overuses the word "depressed" and that's part of the reason why depression is treated so lightly. it's not like a cold or rash that you can go take some medicine and it goes away within days. it's a mentality that you live in and recovery can take years.

@ kittysayrawr, i'm going to PM you on your original post because like some people say, advice on depression shouldn't be shared on a public, non-specific forum like this.

_{I was like you last year, I've even went as far as to cut myself out of depression(I even resorted to drinking my sorrows away), but I wasn't diagnosed with it. I knew it was just a stage, so I didn't think much about it, and cut on impulse, and cried whenever I had time alone; I felt as if there was no point in living, but an epiphany hit me, and I realized the world wasn't doing anything wrong to me, I was doing wrong to myself; so what I'd suggest is for you to get yourself out there; join sports, exercise off your depression, don't think too much about it, as hard as it may seem, occupy your life and you'll come to realize how precious life is. It's all a mental thing. Find and discover the good aspects of life, instead of focusing on the bad(at least that's what I did and I am now, it's hard and your path towards finding the meaning of life may take longer than you expect, but it'll all be worth it once you're happy again.) I mean, I'm not gonna lie, some days I'm depressed as hell, and feel that my life is meaningless, and I force myself to think about the good things in life. Learn to cherish everything in your life that you find worthy to cherish, like family, friends, etc. Don't waste your time thinking about yesterday's problem; THINK POSITIVE. (Force yourself. Sometimes to achieving a goal means doing things you are reluctant to do, but change will only happen if you're willing to try, so like I said, force yourself or at least try to.) Or maybe you can try talking to your school's counselor. Also, I'm sorry you have to deal with the many disparaging and thoughtless remarks on here; I know how hard it is to suffer from depression, and I wish you the best of luck with everything.}

Rule #1 of Clinical Depression

* Set a routine you'll follow and write out your free time and hours.

Realize -

It won't all go away just because you sleep
* So set a sleeping schedule
- do not allow yourself to sleep at other times of the day besides those set hours pick 7-8

Find things that you can channel your energy through -
- walks, running, sprinting, exercise
- reading, writing
- singing
- dancing
- martial arts
- sports
- yoga, pilates
- swimming
- meditation
- church
- hanging out with friends
- music

Understand that the period you go through is common - thats why its called clinical depression!

You'll be just fine as long as you -

1. Make sure to learn to deal with the stress - positively.
2. Make sure your priorities are addressed such as -
School ~ you throw yourself into your studies and make sure you do well
Work ~ if you have work you make sure to leave your personal life at the door
Fun ~ you make time to enjoy yourself through any of the methods listed and/or more
2a - make sure you get some sunlight on your skin ~ tanning the beach the pool outdoor walks in skimpier clothes are all recommended - don't underestimate vitamin D.
3. Take your vitamins (even gummi bear or flintstones)
- eat your vegetables, eat fruits and berries
- eat fish weekly - sashimi or something or take fish oil pills 2-3 times a day 4-6 capsules
4. Remember that even if you Rip Van Winkle yourself - everyone ELSE will still continue living their lives.
* you can't afford to throw a year or two or three or 5 into this and let life pass you by
- overcome this adversity! think of soldiers coming back from war that suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, reliving their friends and family dying around them, people losing limbs and senses etc
- if they can pull out of that type of stress and depression! you can too!
5. Be strong be tough and look forward to better days, make goals and plan for things every year - every 6 months every 3 months every month.
* from watching a sunrise, to watching a sunset, to bunjie jumping, or taking a 3 month student exchange program
6. Let go of little trivial things - don't let them get to you.
7. Enjoy and savor all the little things - sunshine, breezes, a child laughing, someone giving you a smile (as long as its not creepy), practice good habits! brush your teeth! do 8 min abs!
8. Listen to me always - Write me letters of admiration - Build a global empire for me to rule

9. Avoid abusing drugs or alcohol - that is to say - don't allow bad vibes, depression : to lead to you OVERDOING anything. Don't fall prey to the same mistakes many have made in the past!

10. #8 can be considered a joke.
Confide in some of your close friends and allow them to cheer you up.

Don't do things that will go against your mental and spiritual well being.

If someone invites you to go grab ice cream or frozen yogurt - say YES
If someone invites you to a gathering of friends to watch a movie or eat - say YES
If someone invites you to do something moderately stupid - say YES ( tho if this could lead to injury or jail time or something you'll regret - say NO )
If someone with experience gives you tips - LISTEN - Try and see what works for you.

Avoid self-destructive behavior at all costs.

Exercise, Eat Well, and don't allow this period of negative vibes to dictate how you live your life. You'd be better off letting someone become your master and doing whatever they told you to.


Or adopting an older bro/sis or Mentor :

In japanese culture this would be the Sempai(s) or I don't recall the older terms for guys/girls
In korean culture this would be hyung/oppah or the Unnie, Noona
In chinese culture this would be the da geh or Jie Jie

etc I'm not sure how other cultures do it but EAST asian culture has a form of family structure instilled in society - since its soompi I'll make a note of it.. but even loosely western civilizations can have it tho its not as prevalent.

Listen to them - confide in them and Live a happier more fulfilling life!

I'm sure other people will privately message you other great things.

Course the hardline recommendation would be go to the beach and pound sand and scream til you lose your voice and then pound some more sand - you won't hurt yourself and it may do you some good! ;D Along with the F-iT mentality most notably seen in street culture and other darker red light elements ^____^

So you can just say F* This I'm going to live my life - and grit your teeth and go be a bad a... (BUTT) BAD BUTT!!

Rock it!

*** oh and screw the psychiatrist stuff and doping yourself up with meds to make it go away - thats just like sleeping forever ***

You will get better if you choose to - allow yourself to! Be more positive more vibrant more bubbly bubble gum awesome then anyone else.





Re-read this awesome great post!!!

i have had depression for a long time .. but for me .. my mother has depression till this day , my grandmother which i don't really know had depression and she died in a really cruel way because of that (she didn't commit suicide.)
i have been in a hospital for three months and it just made me suffer more .
i for some reason do not trust grown ups and social workers psychologists and all the crap . they are just foll of mini cooper
actually how i got out of it is with the help of the internet .. i got to know friends which are by now very close to me and i love them all dearly ..
just made me think that if i don't like people around me and think that they only do me bad there's so many people in the world that can help
i find just talking to people about it on the internet is a lot easier .. cause i am very close and i do not talk about these things with my family and stuff .. again there's a thing in one someone here said about posting in forums because you will get mean comments from ignorant people .. but i do understand what you are saying about the mask and everything .. in the internet you don't have to wear a mask . just talk about everything let it all out and just talking about it you'll start understanding yourself better ..
also if you fell down you don't have to pretend with your friends that you trust .. i am sure if you are sad they will try to help you ..
sometimes you don't even need them to talk to you cause you fell like they don't know anything .. but still having them there even just sitting next to you helps ..
i say talk about it .. with someone you feel free to talk to .. or someone you don't know
and think about it with yourself .. think about all the things that happened in your life and let them make you stronger and smarter ~
i hope you get better soon , and if you need someone to talk to who can truly understand you please feel free to pm me : )