I have family problems ever since 2 years ago, especially my mom. I've been threatened to get kicked out many times, and this time she is very serious. "

I am 21 years old University student, currently taking one year off working full-time. I still have tuition, visa-bills to pay off, and I dont earn a lot from my full-time job right now.

I am asking you guys what to do because Ive been searching online and the rents are either expensive or distanced from my work place.

What do you guys suggest?

Maybe you could move in w/ a family member for cheap? Otherwise, you don't have a choice but to deal w/ the commute or maybe find a roommate to move in with. Good luck.

sigh, we have relative problems as well....my whole family and relative is messed up.

this is too last min. im trying to think of a solution today or tmr. i dont want to depend on my gf too, even though she said i can live with them for a while...

I don't expect you to go further into your family problems but.. there's no possible way you can talk to your mom about it? Talk things out and try to stay at home?

Do you come from an asian family?

Might not be ethnicity-related, but I've witnessed a lot of asian parents threaten to kick us out to "learn more" about the outside world, but they can never do it. I've been threatened countless times before, but when the time comes, they would just take it back somehow. My other asian friends as well have gone through the same thing.

The worst was when I started packing my things (reason: i came home at midnight instead of 10 PM, lmao), and my dad just showed up and asked me to change into a "better" person and listen more, yada yada. Then he was like "ok you can stay". Happened at least 3-4 times.

^ahaha! i was always one step ahead and just got the hell out of there before they could take it back. stubborn, i was.




there are usually ads posted around somewhere to live with other students in a rented house. they usually split up the rent by the room. you could find some place that is easy to walk to campus from (gas money saver), with some pretty affordable rent prices (with a little bit of luck, and assuming you don't have expectations to live in a super nice looking place).

for example, i lived in a two story house with 8 rooms one year. the total rent was $2000 a month, but we split between all of us, it was only $250 for each of us. it was good enough for me! good way to meet new people, too. which is prolly what you need as a breather if you're having family issues.

they usually post a room opening on some kind of public bulletin somewhere on campus. maybe you could rip off a few numbers from those postings? wouldn't hurt to try.

Thanks guys!

Yes, I am half Korean/Chinese, and theres no way I can talks over with my mom; there had been serious family problems between my parents, which lead to this.

Anyhow, I'll continue to search and read your comments.

If it is far from your work I don't think you have a choice but to commute. I'm assuming you have to leave home soon so you should just focus on getting a roof over your head. If your gf is willing to let you stay with her until you find a place then you may want to take her up on that offer.

I think one of the most important things to do is kind of have a basic plan. Figure out how much is for paying bills, how much for tuition, how much for rent etc.. Figure that out first and it may be easier for you in the long run. That way you won't have to worry about being short on money all the time since you KNOW how much you can spend and how much of your money goes to what.

Where are you from? Maybe you'll find someone around here from your area that might have some useful information.

At least you have a gf to offer you something. I got kicked out late at night, then I had to sleep on the street for a night, then I walked several miles the next day looking for a place to rent. I have no gf and no friends so I can't get anyone to help me. Basically then what you gotta do is look for a mall with access to internet then use a pay phone (or a cellphone) to call the owner up.

^ Man, that's tough. I'm glad you made it out all right.

So you really got kicked out? I mean - I know Asian parents (like someone mentioned, not playing the ethnicity-card here)...they talk harsh, but in the end they'll not carry it out. I have been threatened to get kick out several times also - and one time did went to the extent of packing my clothes (too prideful for my own good) and they stopped me. If you cannot talk it out, like you mention, I recommend you living with some close friends (pay them for food or gas). I don't mean to freeload and stay there forever, but until you can settle down and find a better rent. If not, you can always look into classified for room-sharing. You can rent a room for a much cheaper price instead of an apartment. Good luck.

-ida

Exactly. I don't think my parents have ever threatened to kick me out before. Not that it matters anyway, since I am living on my own now. But my older brother still lives at home with my parents, and my dad is always threatening him to move out since he's such a bum. (I don't blame my dad.) But in the end, my dad doesn't really mean what he says. That's the only way we can straighten up ourselves, especially if we're still so dependent upon our parents. I'm sure (or I hope) your mother doesn't mean it either. Like Meenuh said, you should find a mutual agreement with your mother if you have no where else to go. Good luck.

have you tried craigslist for rooms to rent or apts?
ive used it to find my last place.
but you have to be veryyy careful and you must look at the place first before renting
i'm not sure if you have time to do all that work right now

If you do get an apartment you should try to get a short term lease that's three to six months so you don't get stuck somewhere for a whole year. Some places may have deal if you go in to talk to them. Like first month free. If someone has that you can ask if they can pro rate it so the monthly payments will be cheaper. Generally those are for one year leases though. If you're suddenly kicked out you can try to find an extended stay hotel so you have time to explore your options and not make a quick decision you might regret later. Safety wise I would ask to have a room as close to the front office as possible. Or you could try to find a roommate. Like other people have suggested you can try craigslist or maybe at your university. Even though you don't want to depend on your gf you might want to take her up on the offer just until your able to get settled into your own place so you don't rush into something and end up losing money. Good luck and I hope everything works out.

If you have any friends living away from home, you can ask them if they have room, or if they know anyone with decent prices. If not, you can ask around and see if anyone is willing to let you sign for a short term contract - until you find a better place. However, I heard that the latter can be quite difficult since most people require you to sign a one year contract.

your parents kick you out? dang... my parents beg me to stay. they don't understand why anyone wants to leave home.

homeless shelters lets u stay for a few months while u get back on ur feet.

otherwise joining the army is also an option (free food, rent) n u get bonus for knowing a language (Korean) i believe $300 per month.

but then they r in Afgh so might be a bit dangerous



wow, wat happened? y did u get kicked out?

I got locked out of the house for a stupid reason. I told my parents where I was, they knew yet they insisted on locking me out of the house.

wtf? I ended up staying at my ex's place.

you should look for another part time job or a better full time job if you need the money to survive and afford to live on your own while paying bills..otherwise just look around and find those houses who only rent to uni students and it should be cheaper than gettin your own flat...or you can complain to the government that you live in an abusive family and mini cooper and they prob hook you up with a place..but then you're 21 i dunno if it works...and if you're serious about moving out then the extra distance to work shouldn't be a problem.

have you looked for a place on craigslist?

try getting a house whose family sublets a room. they tend to be cheaper.

If you can't rent an apartment due to financial struggles, you could always just rent a room. There are usually a lot of listings on Craigslist and in newspapers ( I'm not sure what ethnicity you are, but Korean newspapers generally have a lot, and from what I know, Chinese newspapers do as well...but I guess that would also depend on where you live city/state-wise ).

The plus-side to renting a room as opposed to renting an apartment ( aside from the fact that you'd be saving money ) is that most of the rooms come furnished. Also, you're not on a 6- or 12-month lease contract so it's a great temporary living situation until you save up money for your own place. The down-side, of course, would be living with a stranger - so definitely don't settle for the first place you find. Shop around until you've found a place you'll feel comfortable in with enough privacy and a kind and friendly renter.

Otherwise, I don't know what the situation is between you and your mother, but if things can be talked out and worked out, I'd advise you to try that first. )

*Edit* I just read further into more comments and found out that you are Korean/Chinese ( yay for the newspapers I mentioned above then ) and things cannot be worked out with your family right now ( so disregard the end of my post above ). Good luck to you in your search for a solution. I hope I was of help.

Builds character. I got kicked out of the house - several times - and survived it by walking 3 miles to the nearest drug store, sleeping overnight, and having a friend pick me up. First time anyways...second time they sent my sister out to intercept me. True story.

Man, thats tough!

Thanks everyone for your comments, greatly appreciate it!

Kiss butt and don't get kicked out or get a better job.

ur lucky. i wish i got kicked out when i was 21 lol.

this is a good opportunity to grow and be away from ur family. once ur family sees u doing well they might ask u to come back. but if i were u i'd relish the chance to be out on ur own. spend money wisely, don't live beyond ur means and look hard for a cheap apartment/room. it helps if u have a roommate.

that really suck...but basically everyone else have already given you so many options already hahha...
i think it's best to move in with your gf for the moment and find a place to stay afterward. I know it's hard finding a place because my sister got kicked out of the house and it took her half a year to find a place hahaha...but then again she was really picky lol

well good luck with finding a place to stay...hope being kick out of the house don't ruin any relationship between ur family and u =/

My best friend was kicked out eight times when she was 17. It was horrible. I was there for one of the times. She hadn't even done anything and they told her to go. She has almost no relationship with her parents now. Your mom should rethink this. It's not like you are a total bum. You are working and trying to pay off your debts. You plan to go back to school. There are a lot worse things you could be doing. Try writing a letter to your mother about how it makes you feel everytime she threatens to throw you out. Ask her to write one to you in return. When you are both in the moment it's difficult to see where the other person is coming from. Maybe this could help you get through your differences. Good luck!