I was raised in by overprotective parents in an environment where I felt like if anything went wrong, someone would look after me or protect me, no matter what it was.

Well I'm 23 now and do a lot of things on my own, and sometimes I am shocked by how naive I can be. I tend to believe everything people say. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. I am really scared I'll find myself in a bad situation because of how trusting I am about people.

I don't want to have to be burned before learning my lesson.

It sounds strange, but how can I become LESS trusting of people (obviously not people I know well, but acquaintances and strangers)? Does anyone else have this problem?

I know what you mean... my parents weren't exactly overprotective, but everyone in my family is just so NICE, if you know what I mean. And incredibly straightforward - so I don't know how to read the hidden meaning in people's words sometimes... I'm not very good at dealing with people who don't mean what they say. Although I'm getting better.

I think the only cure for this is exposure to lots of different kinds of people, especially in work or university clubs. I hope that nothing serious happens to you! But really experience is the only way to know how to deal with people. But as you do, just remember that 99% of people who aren't your immediate family only care about themselves, and even if they're not bad people, they have their own agenda. And don't believe everything you hear.

Of course, this is easy to say. And on some level, I feel it's unfortunate to be always suspecting people's intentions and/or stepping back to protect yourself. But sadly that's the world we live in. Good luck...

Just take everthing you hear with a grain of salt and see their actions before taking it all in. My parents kept me in a cage lol, and I had to find out things the hard way.

We need more people to be like you. However, that's not how this society works. You will get hurt... You will get burned... but it's really one of those things you learn from experience.

Best precaution you can take is to choose your circle carefully. Trust your instinct.

Throw yourself in the deep end. I was like you, naive and well shunned from the real world by my parents. My worst experience would be having my heart broken.

Anyways, get yourself out there and socialise, see how people work it, be someone's wingman and see how words are power.

i used to be like you too. ive learned my lesson after someone deceived me with their words and fake sincerity involving a big amount money. so when someone is feeding you words whether it be lies or truth. you gotta think very logically and look at their face when they talk to you u gotta REALLY pay attention while they talk. and you'll catch something whether they screwed up in their words or you get that feelings they lied to you. and u don't have to answer back right away u can soak up everything for a few seconds and respond. don't respond with answers stemming from emotions. even if it someone who you are in good terms with and you want to be liked by them. be aware of what of they are saying and respond with your answer from logical reasoning.

oh and i always doubt people first. anything they try to tell me i doubt. its become a bad habit =/

Experience and common sense. That's all you need.

after a few heartbreaks and screwed up moments, i've become less trusting of people around me.
i think you really just have to experience it for yourself.

It seems to me you're not actually trusting; more paranoid, but engage others with hope. I feel you're overthinking the future - as random people say, que cera, cera.

You make mistakes and learn from them.

Ironically, you could begin by not trusting anyone who has posted above me.







But seriously though, it takes one to know one. You must be a really nice person to just trust everyone. Instead, go tell a lie and deceit a person or two. Just for experience. Just to get into the thinking of the liars and cheaters of this world.

u could just trust

the right people

i guess............

would be easier

if it's in ur nature

to be trustingish

i dunno for sure

i think it's better

than being very

paranoid about

evryone around

u

The world is a scary place and Life is very unforgiving.

You have to learn. Everyone learns differently, but basically, you-just-have-to-learn.
How? You have to be lied to and cheated. You need to find out what it feels like when you experience being lied to and cheated, you need that pain. You need the pain so you realize what it feels like, so you don't be in the same position, you need to grow thick skin and be able to see through people's BS.

You can start by thinking what could this other person want? what are his ulterior motives? Why has he/she asked ME to do this? Is there anyone else that he/she could have asked? Am I the best person for this task?

This is the perfect example.

A father tells his son not to play with fire.
The son doesn't know why.
The father tells him the fire is hot and will burn your hand.
The boy knows the fire is hot, but doesn't ACTUALLY KNOW if it's hot or not, whether it will burn his hand or not.

ME........ the curiosity of not knowing would drive me mad.
I NEED TO KNOW, FOR MYSELF. Who knows? What if the fire isn't hot to ME?

Boy touches the fire, hand is burned, boy cries wahhh wahh.
Through pain, the boy realized fire is HOT and WILL burn his hand.

The boy now knows the fire is hot, for himself.

Someone told me... "A smart person learns his/her mistakes. A stupid person doesn't. A wise man learn's from others mistakes". I consider myself a smart person.

I understand your dilemna. I too grew up extremely sheltered, but I don't blame my parents because of course they would want to give their best for their child, to shield me from harm, from heartbreak.

About learning to read people, I don't think you have to worry because we will all eventually learn how to. For those of us who are naive, we would have to learn it the hard way and sometimes the lessons might be bitter. But eventually, we'll all adapt and become a good judge of people. Sometimes in life, you just gotta learn as you go.

I think the workplace is an excellent teacher. Never met so many liars, lazybutts, backstabbers. I've had people look me straight in the eye and lie.
And guess what, naive person like me is still doing OK!

Lastly but most importantly, don't become disenchanted if you're hurt by jerks. There are plenty of nice people too!