I'm sure you know some people who switch s/o's a bit often. As in 'She's been dating guys since middle school' or 'this is his 4th gf this year', etc. But I guess I am puzzled why some people have such an easy time finding people who like them back. To me, a relationship involves mutual feelings toward one another, it involves commitment and understanding. You have to know someone pretty well or for a while (unless it's a one night stand) to be in a relationship with them, for them to be your 'significant other'.

So how do some people break up, and get back with another person in the span of only a few months I'll never understand. Maybe some people have different mentality. Some of these guys/girls I know who've done this aren't even what I'd consider 'attractive', either in personaltiy or physically. Yet they have no problem finding dates.

Is it magic? Is it luck? That they somehow find others who like them back so frequently and in such short periods of time? Give me your comments.

Confidence.

Agreeable personality.

Low standards.

I know a lot of people that stay single often. I only know one person with high standards. There's some disparity there...

people are different, some people move on quickly while others take their time. it's nothing really odd, perhaps certain luck also deals with the fact of mutual feelings towards one another in such a short amount of time... but other than that, it's really just personal preference. that sounds like a cop-out answer, but i think it's true.

Frankly if someone is jumping from n bf/gf that often, then it's probably not a very meaningful relationship. Maybe both parties just need someone or just always need to be in a relationship. Who knows.

That's just you bein mature lol, Don't Worry And yeah Like JustWildBeat told some people need to be in a relationship to live on even if it's not meaningful relationship

through friends. you just keep getting introduced to new people, and one will click. you need to meet 10 strangers to click with 1. But if you keep meeting new people, going to dinners, parties, etc... the chances are much higher.

I've met a lot of girls who groom. By that I mean, they're so afraid of being alone that even while they're in one relationship, they begin to set up another guy just in case they break up with the one they're currently with. I think for most it isn't a conscious process, which is why you get them dating a new guy a couple weeks after breaking up with the last bf, along with the claim that, "I didn't plan to date him, it just sort of happened."

I'm one of those people who has had many boyfriends. I completely agree with naoto. My circle of friends is quite large and I'm constantly making new friends. It also helps that I move on very quickly o_o Fall quickly in love, and fall quickly out of love too... Ahh I hate it, but I can't really help it.

Some people just can't stand being alone.

Liking to be with someone isn't the same as hating to be alone.

If you like someone and someone likes you there's no real reason not to give it a try.

Some people get with a person because they like to have someone there. They like having a 'boyfriend/girlfriend'. Maybe the connection isn't that deep, but they have fun together. And they find one another attractive. But then we have those other people that don't get with just anyone. There has to be a deeper connection. More than just physical attraction. They actually want to get to know that person, rather than just hanging out and being a 'couple'. People like that often take time in finding a partner.

HOT BODIES & PRETTIFUL FACES.

i second this.

gotta love the single word responses.

eh. it's not all about "the one i'm going to marry" or 'soul mate'.

a boyfriend is a boyfriend. to most young outgoing people.
it's just someone to fill the hole.

the not-so-outgoing people tend to wait for a knight-in-shining-armor to pick them up as they wait and fantasize about it happening.

it's cheap practicality vs old morality. lol.

I've never, ever, had a problem getting a boyfriend, finding guys that liked me, or getting guys to like me in return.
It's just always come naturally and been obvious to me.
I would say that the last guy I was with was the first time EVER that I wanted a relationship with a guy, and he didn't want one with me, and granted, I was totally blindsided by it.

I don't really get it either to be honest. I wouldn't just jump into a relationship for someone I only had lukewarm feelings for....which is what it seems like to me, for those types of couples. But then, like others have said there are some who just hate being single and need that constant love and affection? But to receive that, I just don't think it's worth all the time and effort you have to put in building and maintaining a relationship, with someone that doesn't give you much incentive to keep. Seems a little like you're using someone for your own benefits.

It is a little odd to me, but it makes sense. I don't think I could jump around so quickly. I prefer to start slowly, have a solid ground and try and grow before going out with someone. Maybe I'm just cautious, but I would want the least amount of relationships and I rather stick with one person if possible so I take my time.. haha..

You have an innocent look on dating. Many people don't need to spend a large chunk of their time knowing and understanding before they choose to officially date. Many just chat and see eachother for a few days to see their compatibility and then hook.

Same here. Sometimes they don't last more than 6 months or so but, eh...

Well I wish it comes to me as naturally as it comes to you...maybe you just have more appeal or charisma. I certainly wish I had that.

PIMPS and PLAYAS

you seduce people (;
jkk. LOL
I dont know... the right guy just comes to me every month or so.
Socializing powers~
WOOT.

i completely agree!!!!!!!!!

hahahahha...low standards...completely agree with that...

I've always been amazed by it, too, so I've observed the characteristics of the people I know who find s/o's very easily. One of the girls in my suite is like that. I go in the elevator and the guy(s) in the elevator and I will just smile and nod or say "Hi" or "Oh, is it raining?", simple stuff like that and that's it. She got into the elevator with a guy last week and they ended up going out for coffee several times because he just introduced himself and asked her out. It never went any farther than that, though. A friend of mine seems like something of a "groomer" like Lie was talking about; she seems to always meet her next boyfriend near the end of the most recent relationship and a new relationship "just happens" even though she always says she "wasn't looking to get into one so soon." I have a couple of guy friends who never seem to take more than a couple of weeks to get a new girl.

The common denominator with all of these people is that 1) they're physically attractive, 2) they're outgoing, self-confident, and easy to get to know, with broad networks of friends that always reel in new potential dates, 3) they don't seem very intimidating or like they want to be left alone when you first meet them, and 4) they have no problem with falling into things very quickly and demonstrating their own interest openly early on, whether in friendships or romantic relationships.

Even when I meet new people through friends and talk with them more at length, I never consider going out with them after a short period of time and always find myself unconsciously maintaining my distance and keeping us as strict acquaintances. I guess that's part of it for me: I'm pretty slow to develop any romantic interest in or really open up to a guy, so jumping into one relationship after another wouldn't work for me, though I actually wouldn't mind going on a few trial dates with a guy I didn't know that well if anyone asked me. I'm not so easy to get to know, more reserved in a lot of situations despite being able to be very outgoing, and average in the looks department at best. I've been told I seem intimidating and like I don't want to be bothered when I'm just going about my business and nobody's talking to me, which wouldn't really encourage guys who don't know me to try their luck with me if any of them even wanted to.

If you seem reserved and aren't particularly good-looking, the chances of people banging at your relationship door all the time are not as good. This is especially true if you stick to a small circle of friends, and even more so if those friends are mostly the same sex whichever sex you're not attracted to and also mostly stick to your group without meeting and introducing new people often.

Weird, I actually have extremely high standards, and it's rare that I ever find someone "worthy" of a relationship, just because I consider a lot of things important to me when searching for a partner, and I don't put these things aside, or "settle" for anything less than what I desire in a mate.

But I've been popular with men, and I know what guys like and don't like in a woman. I guess that means I have low standards.


These things are all true for me. I'm not the type of girl to play games. I always show a willingness and an open interest in someone if that's what I'm looking for. If I'm not looking for a mate, then I turn these things off. It's like a "willing to meet new people" switch.

It could be a number of reasons.
They don't want a long term commitment, they just want someone for the sake of wanting someone, their personalities allow them to "jump" to another person, etc. etc.

you look really good and have a good personality
thats the first thing that popped up my head -.-

I don't understand it either,
and it bothers me too.

Maybe it's because I just got out of a relationship right now and he's already moving on pretty quickly but..
I wish I was able to do that as well :/

Yup, I can agree with that. The other question would be is the person they're dating also like that? or could they be some shy individual that doesn't have a large circle of friends. Could be a good research project.

another tip: G-Dragon's - Hello. < learn from him!

I don't know either. I mean, I've liked a lot of people, and a lot of people have liked me back, but it's not like I'll date every guy that shows interest in me.

The question isn't how a person can find a significant other so easily - if you have the looks and the personality, of course people will be attracted, it's why. Why get into a relationship when you just got out of one? Why get into a relationship with someone you just met a few days ago? I don't know. Some people just like the companionship, some people need the physical contact of a significant other, and some people just really like that person. I've never understood how people can do that, but hey everyone's different.

It's because those people rush into a relationship. A lot of my friends start dating someone first and THEN get to know them. One of my guy friends asked his girlfriend out within a week of meeting her. It puzzles me greatly, I don't understand how that can work!

However, taking too long to get to know someone before getting into a relationship can also be hazardous. I'm like that. I've rejected many guys with the reason being "I don't know you well enough yet. I'm not ready for a relationship." That always drives the guy away! Then when I'm "ready", he's not interested anymore. And I'm left with regrets and wondering what could've been. The reason why I've been single for the past 3 years is not because I'm not capable of getting a boyfriend, but my being too "hard to get". It only intrigues the guy for a while until they're sick of it.

That being said, I don't think rushing into a relationship (like those people that the OP mentioned who go through like 4 gf/bf's a year) is a good idea, but you shouldn't wait too long either (like me).

Bolded is exactly why I don't have a boyfriend. I've dated 2 guys, but never had a "boyfriend". I'm in no rush either... I'm still young. Guys ask me out, so that isn't the problem... the problem for me is not really being able to talk to that person or having nothing in common.

I have alot of friends who literally accept all, or nearly every guy that asks them out... and I sometimes ask myself why this is. I guess it's probably low standards (LOL) or maybe just desperate... some people just can't be without a s/o, which is kind of sad. Especially, since most of these friends of mine are in highschool.

It's funny, cause my friends think I'm stupid for rejecting the guys who ask me out... but why does that make me stupid? -.- I remember having a crush on this guy, but I didn't know him... and then when I did we began talking and OMG. It was a nightmare... I couldn't talk to him without being bored! As hot as he was... I can't be with someone that I can't even talk to! It baffles me that some people can easily be in a relationship with someone they have nothing in common with.

So, I guess it's just desperate/can't stand being single. At least from where I live, this is what I've noticed.

This sounds good, but the only problem is that when you're trying to court someone, you often times try to put up a bit of a front -- where you try not to show your imperfections as much, and you don't do things that they might find annoying. This front usually comes down after the first month of the actual relationship. So, for those of us that get "tricked" into dating a loser, sometimes that's why we go through three or four boyfriends a year.


I don't think you're stupid, I actually think you're really smart. Are you in high school? If so, I have even more respect for you, because a lot of these high schoolers are all in huge hurries to grow up, and have boyfriends, and have sex, and etc etc.

A mixture of low standards, desperation, and just needing someone to be there for them all the time (physically and emotionally...).

For me, I get crushes on guys really easily, but it takes me a long time to truly like someone. I'd date someone during the "crush" stage for sure, but I wouldn't go steady with them for a while. A lot of relationships do start after a week of knowing each other, but I feel like those are the ones that don't last. You basically get to know each other AFTER you start going out, and a lot of times that just doesn't go so well. I would like to know someone for 1-2 months before being in an official relationship with them.

Except most the guys that I have had feelings for who reciprocated my feelings are freaking shy (in terms of confessing), so 1-2 months after knowing them (aka when my crush disappears), ...nothing happens!

It must be really uneasy and somewhat internally painful for the girls to not be able to stay single at all.

they have self esteem problems....

LOL, You're all assuming that just because a person keeps plenty of relationships that he/she would have a problem being single. The two ideas are not dependent on each other.

The longest I've ever stayed single is a year... and I love those years. Stress free, no commitments, no ball and chain. I wake up in the mornings with a light heart. I after I broke up with my last ex I was so ridiculously happy and stress free being single... but then a few months later a guy came around that, quite frankly, I'm crazy about. The idea that I should have turned him down just for being single's sake is ridiculous; I would have missed out on a great thing. It may not last forever but that's ok. They can't all last forever.

It might be because this person has an attractive personality so there's always someone wanting to date him/her.



If you look, you'll eventually find. And the courting process isn't just 'falling in love', it's playing the right cards to project yourself as potential girlfriend/boyfriend material. That's why we see people whom we don't think is very datable- seeing someone.



It's taking fate into your own hands
Hope I made some insightful contributions. I'm only speaking out of observation and opinion though.

EDIT: I forgot to answer the original question!

In the younger years (teens/young adult) people are dating because that's what teens and YA do. In these times, we want to feel like there's someone for us or something. I can't really explain this bit because I don't actually understand it myself.

But my friend says he wants a girlfriend because he wants to know there's someone there for him. Personally I think it's so you can share affection with someone- in a way you wouldn't with friends.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this is not a common factor amongst most girls.


Oi, yeah, and I know people like that so I'm forced to watch. D:

people who can find s/o's that easily are just hot

or, they like dishing out their meat.............. foodwise of course.. like maybe some burgers, or steaks..

OMG U HAVE A DIRTY MIND

My friends have 'steads' but its like, nothing big, just playing around.

Yes and yes. Both are spot on, imo =)

Some people are just confident and likeable like that. Some people will date or screw anything in their presense. Its different for people.

I don't know. Fate? You just end up liking someone else and if it's mutual, you can tell.. and then it all works out?! lifes funny that way...

^that and confidence. being yourself and all.
having an attractive personality. be approachable!

i have a friend who has high standards and she's still single XD
there had been so many times when she had the opportunity to be with someone,
and she would always turn it down because of one little thing.
ie. she found one perfect guy, but didn't find a certain "KABOOM-connection".
another time, it was because the guy was too outgoing, too hairy, too happy, too this, too that.