Love is...

Letting go when you have to hold on...and...


Holding on when you have to let go...



Does this saying makes any sense?



Anyways...I have this friend and we're close to each other. I've been liking him for years now and I think I'm really starting to fall for him. I'm not really asking for a chance because he likes someone else. but the thing is, I can't seem to stop falling for him and I really want this feeling to go away..


What should I do?

After going through both, I feel that holding on is a lot tougher.
Imagine desperately holding onto someone who just doesn't want to stay, all the while missing greater opportunities to finding another happiness. On the other hand, imagine letting someone go, hurting for a finite amount of time, and then moving on to finding someone else who'd make you happy.
See the difference? Although letting go is hard, it's doable. And trust me, when the person you've been holding on to so desperately just walks out, you'll hurt a lot more than if you just walked away from it yourself.

Letting go is alot harder. Takes alot of strength to let go of sb you still want or really care about. Bc it hurts to move on, and despite missing them, still look forward and break free from them. Reason why people in long relationships who end up being cheated on staying in the relationship? Partially cos letting go is VERY hard, it's easier said than done. You can try and try and try, sometimes after a few attempts, you still won't be able to 'let go' (inside).
Holding on is the weaker option.

I think letting go is a lot harder. However, holding on will just be tougher down the road. To me, holding on would be like applying band-aid to a wound, whereas letting go would actually heal it. It won't heal it right there and then, but it would definitely heal down the road.

I think it depends how much you like that person....

If you really like that person and that person has become your faily activity... such as talking to her is the whole thing you do after you get back from school... then i think letting go is hard... it's simply changing your habits altogether...

Depends how lovestruck you are their influence over your daily activity i guess...

people can be satisfy holding on and just talking knowing it won't work out after all..

i reckon the best way is to let go, if you have liked him for all of this time and he hasnt responded, it may mean that he will never be interested. save yourself from falling in love with him, get hurt now, rather then getting hurt when your deeply in love him

i do both at the same time.

...for me both are hard. letting go, meaning starting your life all over again without the special person beside you. it's hard because you are use already to have that person beside you always, being there through thick and thin, through happy and sad times.
...holding on is also hard, because sometimes even though you know you need to stop already you tried to hold on because you're hopeful that someday it would be the way it was before.that person had promised you something.
...both is so hard, but sometimes you just need to choose to not feel pain and hurt on the situations that's going on with your life.
...and if i had a chance to choose the two, i would choose both, hard but in time i can cope up with that, need to accept things first.

I don't really think its a matter of which one is harder. It's a matter of how strong you are and how much time you'll take. As for me, if that was the case then I would pick letting go.

holding on, is torture. cause your not THAT girl... yet. depends on how your relationship is.
but, letting go, is torture too.
i would just let it linger for now.. then if something big happens make your decision.

wow you guys have good advices
im gonna use it..

I think holding on is actually more painful than letting go.
When you hold on, you're constantly reminded that you're not the one he/she wants.
You feel useless because you're just holding on when you get nothing in return.
Atleast when you let go you don't have to face the situation anymore.

mini cooper. I need to take my own advice.

let go.

it's MUCH easier if u let go now than for it to drag on. that's what happened to me, and i let it drag on for 4 years. and during those 4 years, i've had to experience so much pain when i see him with another girl.

let go now, and maybe you'll find another guy, one that's better!

both are very hard . but i think its just harder letting go .
cause holding on , if you actually like them ,
of course you would want to hold on no matter how difficult it is ,
but until the time when you realize that things / feelings have changed or there really is no more chance ,
then you can acknowledge the fact that you should no longer hold on .
but if you want / try to actually let go , you just usually keep attempting to ,
but sometimes you can't successfully .

Both is very hard.
But I'd say holding on is the hardest. Because your partner could be in a another relationship as you believe that you still have a chance to make things right.

holding on when they're letting go

letting go hurts a lot but holding on will do so much more damage to you. physically, mentally, changes who you used to be, may destroy your trust, etc. You;ll be stuck in that dark ditch for a long, long time. At least letting go is the beginning where you start a new life

D; holding on when i hab to let go.

becuz i will nawt force sumone to be wif meh if they dun't like me o;

sho, it's easier for meh to let go.

.____. holding on ish painful, becuz yooh hab to tell them white lies D: even thought yooh dun't like them anymores.

I totally went by this for a while (stolen from one of the quotes threads, lol)

"Love is like a tug-of-war. It hurts to hold on, but you just can't let go." It went something like that, maybe not word-for-word. That's just how it works, sometimes. Believe me though, you should let him go. If you feel like you don't want to commit your feelings to him, let go. It can become a mess in the future if you let your feelings get ahead of you.

OMG..you guys give really helpful advices..thank you so much..really appreciate it..hope more will come..

Letting Go - Mohombi
Listen to it lol!
Hmm I think in your case letting go is tougher. But hey at least if you let go...there's a chance that you will stay good friends with him. And if you decided to hold on...and he just doesn't like you..in the long run it will ruins your friendship.

I have actually been in this situation for many months...I've liked this guy for 10 months, and even before that. (years and years ago) I tried letting go so many times, but I found it really hard. So, like a few weeks ago I got hurt. It wasn't a rejection or anything...more like acknowledgment of what his intentions with me really were- by what he said to me at that moment.

So now I've been trying my hardest to let go [2+ weeks]. Just today I've deleted all our text messages and chat logs-- because I'm the kind of person who looks back on them. P:

Both letting go and holding on are hard, but I think letting go is easiest in the end...ONLY speaking in terms of "crushing" stage, not if you've actually been in a relationship with that person. That changes the whole situation- and then it all depends on what happened and how long you've been together, etc. However, the things that others have said are pretty true.

Letting go is better for you in the end.

Holding on is a lot harder when the love isn't there anymore.
At least when you let go, you recover from it even though it might take forever.

I think you should let go. If you guys are meant to be he will find his way back to you.
Theres no point of holding on & getting your feelings hurt when you know it won't go anywhere.

^
i agree
i should take some of the advice you guys given haha..

i personally believe in experience that holding on is definitely harder. holding on actually hurts more even though if you let go, it also has a painful after effect.

i've been in your position. and i would say let go, its no fun to be on a one way roller coaster ride by yourself. you're always there for him, but whos always there for you? sure he's there at times, but not all the time.

but with the scenario aside, i still think letting go is harder b/c its sort of like you're giving up when the fight hasn't even begun.

in your situation, holding on would be alot harder in my opinion..
its always harder to hold on when the love is single-sided

great song.. so true..
holding on in my opinion is harder :S

don't worry though, you'll get through it.

I think lettinq qo is harder.. like if you put alot of effort into sometihnq
& than all of the sudden you just have to let everythinq qo..

T_________T

i think...letting go is harder. it requires more courage. if you let go, you'll always think of all these 'what ifs'. it's so hard to let go when you are still so deeply in love with that person but sometimes there comes a point where you don't have a choice anymore. I really don't know what to tell you. the proper answer would be to let go but now that i'm going through a similar situation, i can't tell you to do that

I can't really tell you which is harder because you gotta experience it and feel it yourself then you'll be able to establish which one is harder for YOU. But in my case, I believe holding on is much harder. It hurts too much to hold on to something that isn't yours or that doesn't feel the same way as you do. Letting on is tough too, but in most cases people eventually get over it and move on. But for holding on it's like you're holding on to something that in the end will disappoint you anyway.

hmm it depends...
when it gets too tough... n the pain is unbearable.. then its easier to let go...

Letting go is more difficult, because naturally we want to hold on.
We never want to let that person go.
But, in the end, it's a lot better to let go,
than to keep holding onto something that will end up causing you more pain.
Letting go is harder to do, but holding on is more painful in the end.
At least when you move on from something/someone, you are able to move on with your life.
If you hold on, you're stuck in that same place, wanting the same thing you can never achieve.

The harder thing to do is accept the fact that it's over/it'll never happen, then let go and move on. Holding on is probably the worst thing you can do in those type of situations, because the only person you're hurting is yourself.

letting go is harder : )
u can hold on easily, just HOPE s/he'll love you SOMEDAY, and usually if you like the said person enough, it's not hard to believe.

letting go might be hard, however once you made up your mind on it, it can be over in an instant as well.

my situation involves both so i'm not sure which one to choose. it's one of those situations where there's that one guy that gets to you but you can't have him because you're too far away and you can't get in contact with him and all you can do is remember/think of him.
i think both are hard. but it depends on the type of person you are. are you persistent? are you determined that you two can work? are you willing to get hurt?

letting go is harder, but holding on is more painful in the long run.

I think it really depends on the situation.

I've let go of guys I've really cared for, believing that I was not the best person for them...and that I wanted them to be free and have some fun as an independent guy. Of course...I'm not so good at communicating my reason...so it creates drama Most of them do still stay friends with me tho.

I think holding on is probably the hardest for me. I have a tendency let people go. I always think...what if I chose him...and not him. I even after I rejection, there are some I still think about. It definitely takes a lot of commitment to stay with one person for a long time. That's something I'm not used to...being an independent, single girl for most of my life.

Holding on is much more difficult. Even though letting go may hurt more than how you feel while holding on, in my opinion, holding on can leave a burning scar.

But! does your friend know you like him? If not I think you should some how let him acknowledge it, 100% lol, and then decide whether you should let go or hold on.

If he does know, then, choose which ever you think you can tolerate more and which ever YOU think is better.

Dont hold on, people hold on out of habit, they're so used to the other person being there. This is one habit you have to break.

just let it go.

in my opinion, holding on is more painful. especially holding on to something that isn't there anymore. i mean, it could have been there once upon a time, but it could be gone by now. your basically trying to get a grasp of air, searching for something you can hold on to. but, nothing is there. that feeling hurts, it hurts so bad.

but, letting go? it seems soo much more harder than holding on at the moment. but once you do, you will feel so free. you'll realize that you holding on to nothing was so pointless. and you'll actually be able to move on with your life.
but, first your gonna need to realize that holding on will cause more pain and hurt than letting go.

let go of that hope of getting back what once was, let go of the thought that if you wait a little bit longer something would change, let go of wishing things will go back and everything will somehow rearrange and work out the way you fantasized. and once you do, thats when things WILL fall into their rightful place.

but, then it's always easier said than done.

Having been in both situations, I would say both are equally difficult. I want to say holding on is harder because I've always been the one to push others away... but letting go? I still haven't really let go of a lot of things. And it's hard to decide how I feel about it because on one hand, I let a lot of things just go... friendships and relationships. But I haven't truly let go of the one person that I should and that's why... I think letting go is difficult too...

So... both? =)

I agree with this person. I find letting go so hard. I don't understand it when someone get annoyed by it. Everyone is different in those situation some people can let go within a couple of days, or weeks. While others take months or even years, or some just can't let go. Maybe the only reason why I'm saying letting go is harder is because I'm currently experiencing it. I knew this person and because of certain circumstances, we have stop becoming friends. Every time when I think I have moved on and that I can stand on my two feet, I still fall back. Everything that I see reminds me of that person. I'm not sure if I should keep the memories or should let it go. As I walk down the street last Friday, I thought my heart would skip a bet because I thought I saw that person but only someone who look similar to them.

What you can do to help yourself feel better is actually become more socially active such as joining clubs and being socially active will help you through this difficult situation.

i think holding on is harder... cuz your doing something that is almost completely hopeless...

plus after you finally stop holding on you have to learn to let go

Letting go is always harder. Holding onto something, even if it wasn't meant to be yours to hold onto, is like taking the safe route and trying to avoid the inevitable.

As for your question...just think of it this way, is his friendship more important to you than having a romantic relationship, or is having a romantic relationship more important. When all this blows over, will he still be your friend in the end, and if he's not, was he worth losing?

I guess you'll just have to ask yourself all those questions. And, not pursuing something romantic with him doesn't mean letting go of him. It means you're holding on to something precious because friendship is precious.

both are hard, but i say holding on is more painful because like other people mentioned, it's just a constant reminder that things aren't where they should be/ things aren't working out ect. and you're closing yourself off from other possibilities.

in my case, letting go was one of the hardest things i've ever done but also the most liberating.

but also in my case the guy i let go, ended up coming back to me and under the circumstances i gave it a chance.
special case though =/

so i say if you really think it's not going to work out, meaning you've tried, ect. then yes its best to let it go

I feel that letting go is harder but holding on hurts more.

The process of letting go is long and tedious. You can try and try to let go but it doesn't always work out that way. Sometimes, people confuse letting go physically with letting go emotionally. You could break it off with someone or completely ignore them and move on but deep down in that little broken heart of yours, you're still thinking about them, missing them, hurting for them, and possibly, loving them. It takes a lot of courage to tell yourself that you need to leave - to let go. But once you're able to actually let go, you'll be a lot better of. It'll hurt a lot in the beginning. You'll miss them like crazy. Every little thing will remind you of them. And you're going to feel like you're dying inside. But time heals all wounds. When you are fortunate to live through the healing process, you will realize that you are happier now and perhaps, you'll meet someone who will show you a much greater love.

But if you must choose the path of holding on, the pain that you'll have to bear on your shoulders will be a lot more than letting go. Well, in my opinion anyway. Holding on hurts when you're holding onto someone who has already let you go. To know that they have eyes on someone else...to know that they don't care...and to know that they just don't love you anymore hurts. And holding on means that you're going to have to pretend like all of that is okay even when you know it's not. And if you're unlucky enough to be holding on to something that was never yours, it's just as hard as letting go of a relationship. I feel that people who hold on have completely lost themselves. They obviously really love the person they're holding on to and in the process, lost a little bit of self respect for themselves. It's heartbreaking because I know that many people would go back to and forgive their someone in a heartbeat even if they got cheated on. In fact, I think that a lot of do secretly know that they are. But because they chose the path of holding on, they pretend that they don't.

Love hurts

confess to him, seriously- keeping your feelings is really hurt. just tell him!

if it wont work out, then letting go will only hurt short term.
long term, letting go is better.

I feel as if this whole thread but especially your post is speaking directly to me. I held on because I was hoping...praying that things would change. I'm scared to let go because of all the what ifs that are floating around in my mind. i am hurting so much. I don't want to be free, I don't want to have to move on. I want to be his forever.