Thanks for all the advice! They were of great help ... Hopefully i will settle everything soon and get a sense of myself again

I have been contemplating whether of not to post this but after much thought, I decided to ask for some advice.

So I have a friend I have been crushing on since sophomore year of high school (note: I am currently a senior). We would have conversations every now and then and even go home together some times. I knew he didn’t have any interest in me, other than as a friend, at first. However, during junior year, I realized that he changed. All of a sudden, he started being nicer than usual -- buying me food, walking me to class, spending frees together, and etc. I was rather excited, thinking that maybe we had a chance. I began contemplating whether or not if I should ask him first. But I was scared … because I knew he was popular amongst a lot of girls. And he is the type of guy who is nice to almost all girls. I wanted to take precaution of this because I didn’t want to end up getting hurt in the end by his actions, even if there was no other intention in his actions. A month passed by as I continued to think over the subject.

However, during the end of junior year, there were rumors that he was going to ask a girl out. He didn’t reveal who the girl was. I was curious; in fact, I was hoping that this girl would be me. Some of the other girls told me to ask him who the girl was since I was kind of close to him. And so I asked him. However, he became flustered and got rather angry, asking the other people why they were telling me about this. I was taken aback by his response. A week passed by and he found himself a girlfriend.

I was rather heartbroken but I just congratulated them. I knew his girlfriend because we had class together and I knew she was a really sweet girl. Junior year ended and I believed that I would be able to get over him over the summer.

But when I saw him again during senior year, my heart fluttered. I realized that I didn’t get over him and that I still have feelings for him. We still say ’hi’ to each other but we don’t have any real conversations anymore.

And now I have another guy friend who I have come to grow really close to in a matter of weeks. He takes me to classes, we spend half the day together since we have the same classes, he takes me home, and etc. And a lot of people think that we are together … especially because he is the ’touchy’ kind of guy. He likes to pinch me, carry me around, and etc. He does it to other girls too but not to the extent that he does to me.

I know that he’s a nice guy and all but I don’t really have much feelings for him. And I don’t want to end up hurting his feelings because I may have given him so wrong signals. I guess I wouldn’t really mind going out with him but I don’t know what to do …

Do you think I should just wait for my friend who already has a girlfriend now? Or just go out with the guy who likes me? Or neither. Now that I think about it, I feel like a coward for not having asked him out in the first place but it's too late to go back. And I don't know what to do anymore.

Quit fawning over what you can't have. The 1st guy doesn't like you the way you want him to. ACCEPT IT, DEAL WITH IT, AND MOVE ON FROM IT! He didn't like you Sophomore year. A few years later the drum beat is still the same. You can't make the boy like you. Like you said you don't have conversations with him anymore other then saying hi. If the boy liked you he'd say more than hi to you. Appreciate the other guy you have in front of you! It's dumb how most girls have something good sometimes, and they run from it. I'm not calling you dumb, or trying to hurt you with words. I'm just being "real."

..I think that guy that you did like was starting to feel something for you, but wasnt quite sure about it yet.
And when you asked him, he got flustered and angry instead. Not a good sign.
Even more so, he picked out another girl, instead of you.

This HAS been going on since sophomore year (3 years. roughly)
I actually think you should give the 2nd guy a chance. The first guy sounds nice, sure, but he seriously needs to man up a bit. I think he's starting to think of you more of a girl that he'll always have (like..girl on the side) because you are always available for him. (Im trying to explain as best as I can here @_@)

ogjojigodjgd. In short, dont let that one guy bother you, even if you still have feelings for him. He has a girlfriend. Waiting for him will probably only end up hurting you.
If theres a guy you sorta like, give it a chance and see where it goes. But dont hold back for a guy that didnt have enough balls to get with you when he had the chance.

QFT!!!!
Don't wait for a guy who may never come around, when you have a nice guy standing right in front of you.

And who knows? You might encounter some real drama if you go for the 2nd guy and the 1st guy becomes insanely jealous, haha.

Hey! BUT if you don't like guy #2, don't force yourself to like him. D: That's like spending extra with him only for pity or because 'that's all you have'. That's not really nice. : \

Do you really want to wait some more?

i dont think you should go out with guy number 2 if you dont like him the way he likes you.
unless you're sure you can accept him after you get together with him.
it's not nice to play with other people's feelings or go out with someone just because they're "available".
trust me, you'll feel really bad when you think about it.
it's better for your conscience if you just crushed his hope right now than giving him more hope only to crush it later.
the softer the fall, the better.

as for guy number 1, it's up to you really.
if you really really like him, then maybe you shouldn't give up.
but judging from the way you explained it, it seems as if he doesn't have any interest in you.
and you might upset his girlfriend if you keep hanging around him.
maybe you'll have more of a chance when he's single?

if the girl's the one who breaks up with him, go comfort him and make him feel happy.
for some reason, i did that to a guy once and he kinda fell for me.
not good in my case because he's a good friend of mine.

Don't wait for your crush, he obviously doesn't like you like that, so move on. As for the one that likes you, don't force yourself to date him just because he likes you. Only date him when you know that you have feelings for him like he does to you. If you decide to just stay friends with him then make it clear to him. Before he gets his feelings hurt.

lol, i phink yooh should move onn...

since that other guy alreadi hab a gf ;X n he shows barely any signs of liking yooh...

it's like teh same as choosing; teh person who wubs yooh or teh person who yooh wub.

I unno, hard choice? D; buh i phink most people choose teh person who wubs yooh.

That way it makes yoor life less painful :] rite?

I unno, gib sumone a chance? n see if it works out.

if i were you, i will pick the guy who likes me and try to have a special feeling towards him that could have led me to change the like word into the another L word, you know what word i am talking about right? but i know it's not easy.

I'll tell you what I did in the situation of "Girl likes guy, another guy likes girl...": After he told me he had feelings for me, I rejected him at first, but then I realized that I started to like him, and we got together. That was almost 4 years ago, and we're still together. Sure, we've broken up before and had some pretty horrific moments, but no relationship is perfect. I'm not saying you should jump at him; it may not end up like me and my boyfriend. If you truly have feelings for him, then give it a chance! I would just be careful... what if you go out with him, and he asks you to be his girlfriend, and you reject him? That might hurt him more than anything. Just really think it over. Oh, and forget guy #1, he's moved on, and so should you. Love comes and goes, that's just how it works.

never go out with someone you don't have feelings for. and as for the guy you like, there's plenty of other fish in the sea. you're still young. good luck

Please grow up.

amen to that.

He has a girlfriend and they're probably happy together.
At the same time, don't half heartedly date the other guy for the sakes of having the boyfriend

While I don't promote going out with a guy just out of 'pity' or 'sadness', I think you should give him a chance! Like my father always told me, "Don't date someone with marriage in mind. Date someone because you genuinely like being around them and they treat you right."

I think you just sort of need to see guy number two in a new light. Your sights are fixed on number one, you're so busy fretting over him and waiting for any signal he may have feelings for you that you might be blocking number two out a little bit. Maybe the next time you hang out, forget about boy number one and think about what you like about him, or what would make him a good boyfriend. c: I think if you look at his qualities that way, and forget about the other guy for the time being, your feelings with be a little more sorted out.

Anyways, move on from guy one. Guy two sounds sweet - but then again I just think he's my type, baha. <3 Good luck and I hope for your happiness!

Do not wait. Love is NOT a waiting game. It requires a lot of timing. As usual, at your age, you have more important things to worry about, and I don't just mean schoolwork. For the third time, what highschoolers need to focus on most is their sense of identity. However, that doesn't mean just shun relationships completely. If the opportunity comes, take it.

Anyway, do not wait for the guy to break up with his girlfriend. You may be in for a very long wait. Trust me, if guy #1 liked you he would have made his move. Guy #2 sounds like a well-grounded person who can make you happy. HOWEVER, do NOT go out with him purely out of pity. Sure, you might not want to hurt him, but if you don't feel anything for him, the relationship will be one-sided. I cannot stress this enough. Date him only if you are willing to let him make you happy.

Take a step back for a moment. Your love for someone who won't love you in return is clouding your thoughts. Reflect upon this unrequited love, think about how it makes you feel, think about the person involved going through the same thing you are, and make your decision after you've considered the situation in their perspectives.

Type properly please, not only for your own sake but for everyone else's sake as well.



Anyway, I think you should just move on.
I mean, if he liked you... then he would've chose you, right?
But he didn't, and he chose his current girlfriend so it's kind of obvious he doesn't like you.
As for the other guy, maybe you should just get to know him for now.
These kinds of things shouldn't really be rushed, so you should see how it goes and eventually you might like him in that way too?
Good luck.

Let it go. He didn't like you back then, chances are that he doesn't like you right now either (especially now that he has a girlfriend). Why bother staying there and hurt yourself when there's someone right in front of you who's willing to be with you?

Taking a chance doesn't hurt ; if you and the guy you like were meant to be, maybe somewhere in the near future there's something that was held for you two. But for now, enjoy life! I mean, really. You're young and you're in highschool!

^^
This person sums it up.

When it comes to unrequited love you have to suck it up and move on.

DEFINITELY not wait for the guy that already has a gf. If you don't like the guy that you're hanging out with, then tell him you just want to be friends.

First, I'll answer the question asked in your thread title. From experience, you should DEFINITELY go for the guy you like. Carpe diem, seize the day. Waste no time, take it in your own hands and go after what you want.

However, after reading your story about how the guy you like has a girlfriend, don't wait around for him. Go on with your life. Girls fall fast. Just remember the next time you like someone, and they're single, jump on it.

Waiting for a guy who already has a girlfriend? Oh gosh no.
Going for a guy who likes you? If you like him, then yes, but if you don't, no.

QUOTE (love!melody @ Nov 3 2009, 05:14 PM)

I have been contemplating whether of not to post this but after much thought, I decided to ask for some advice.

So I have a friend I have been crushing on since sophomore year of high school (note: I am currently a senior). We would have conversations every now and then and even go home together some times. I knew he didn’t have any interest in me, other than as a friend, at first. However, during junior year, I realized that he changed. All of a sudden, he started being nicer than usual -- buying me food, walking me to class, spending frees together, and etc. I was rather excited, thinking that maybe we had a chance.

Did he specifically say he liked you? Maybe it's just me, but I'm always doing what he does to my close gal friends. Maybe he just made a resolve to be more lively.

QUOTE (love!melody @ Nov 3 2009, 05:14 PM)

However, during the end of junior year, there were rumors that he was going to ask a girl out. He didn’t reveal who the girl was. I was curious; in fact, I was hoping that this girl would be me. Some of the other girls told me to ask him who the girl was since I was kind of close to him. And so I asked him. However, he became flustered and got rather angry, asking the other people why they were telling me about this. I was taken aback by his response. A week passed by and he found himself a girlfriend.

I think there's two main possibilites:

1. he didn't like you and feels bad/annoyed that you thought he did
2. he liked you but he didn't like that you found out

QUOTE (love!melody @ Nov 3 2009, 05:14 PM)

And now I have another guy friend who I have come to grow really close to in a matter of weeks. He takes me to classes, we spend half the day together since we have the same classes, he takes me home, and etc. And a lot of people think that we are together … especially because he is the ’touchy’ kind of guy. He likes to pinch me, carry me around, and etc. He does it to other girls too but not to the extent that he does to me.

I know that he’s a nice guy and all but I don’t really have much feelings for him. And I don’t want to end up hurting his feelings because I may have given him so wrong signals. I guess I wouldn’t really mind going out with him but I don’t know what to do …

I do that to my close gal friends and I have never developed feelings beyond friendship for them. Again, did this guy specifically tell you that he had feelings -beyond friendship- for you?

Even assuming that the second guy does like you, I would just wait; don't try to like someone just because they like you. You might develop feelings for him, but that should be on your own without any pressure from him. Also, regarding the first guy, I would just forget him: it's not worth the hardship of waiting for someone without knowing how long they will be in a relationship. Trust me on this one, I liked this one girl (four years older) that I waited, hoping that there would be a chance for me. I waited like that, everyday and every night for four years. She married last year with that one lucky guy. Just live, forget, and move on; it'll make life a lot easier.

don't wait for a guy that you like. i went through it. it was painful and hard. me and my boyfriend broke up because he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. so guess what he said to me? "could you wait for me?" and guess what i did. i waited. but you know what, that is false hope that i was given. all this hope lead me to disappointment. i'm not saying that hoping is not a good thing, but hoping for this guy to come around and come to you, it's not worth it. and you know what i realized? life is too short to be waiting on someone or something that doesn't even belong to you in the first place. every minute, hour, and day you spend waiting for this guy, is time that you'll never get back. trust me. waiting for someone is a waste of time, especially if you're hoping for this guy to come around. you're not promised anything, and the only thing on the line is your heart. you don't wanna end up heartbroken... because seriously girl, it not a good feeling.

and if you don't like that guy that likes you, then don't go for him. first of all, it's not fair to you because... let's face it. you don't feel the same way, and you'd be settling for less because he's not what you want. and two, it's not fair especially to him. how would you feel if you were second choice?

you know what the good thing to not waiting is? you'll always find someone better, and someone who will feel the same (maybe more) way about you. good things will come to you when you least expect it. that's why it's so important not to wait... and expecting something to happen. you won't experience any spontaneity, when things take you by surprise and sweep you off your feet... which is one of the best feelings in the world.

i hope you take this to heart.

The most fair thing for everyone is to not wait for the guy AND not date the guy that likes you.

It sucks for your crush to not have an interest in you but that happens..it's happened to me..I've liked one of my guy friends for 4 years on and off and there were several times when I would think he sent out signals (hell, even our friends thought so too) but 4 years came and went and he never asked me out so if it was meant to happen, it should've happened already.

As for the guy that likes you, it isn't fair for you to date him if your heart and head are elsewhere. Plenty of people do this, I'm sure, but in the end, you will just end up hurting him and whatever friendship you both developed. My crush's friend ended up liking me a lot and confessed to me..as nice as he was and as great as the attention from him was..I just could not imagine us together. He's awkward around me now but I bet he'd like me even less if I went out w/ him and he realized he was not the one I wanted.

Do the right thing. The right guy will come along soon. You're so young!

thanks everyone haha! i was actually kind of scared to come back into this thread because i thought people would just take me as being stupid and criticize my rather foolish actions ... but everyone was so nice and left mature, truthful comments; they were really helpful & i really appreciate it! thanks everyone <333

hoepfully, i'll be able to settle everything soon ... though it'll still take some time ... once again, thanks guys