Lately, I've been pondering the reason why some people lose interest so easily.

Here's my experience. Personally, I'm the type to lose interest really easily. I might like a guy, but if he likes me back I lose interest after a short while. Worse, sometimes if I do like a guy, I get on/off feelings about my attraction to him. It might be because I like the "thrill of the chase," and worse, some people call me a player (jokingly), which I definitely am not. I like serious relationships. I've never been in a relationship before, by the way.

Any advice for me? I really want to be able to truly like someone, but I always find my wavering feelings affecting my (potential) relationships.

Does anyone else experience anything similar? What can account for such changing feelings, and the problem of losing interest? Feel free to share stories, experiences, or anything else.

I'm sometimes like that but I think something that helps is to not think of yourself that way.
The more you think about it, the more likely you're going to fall into that pattern, I think.
Just don't let your mind wander off so far. ; )

someday you'll find the guy who can keep your interest.
i have a friend like you. she loses interest real fast. most of the time when she likes a guy, the guy eventually likes her back, and then she loses interest.

but she's got a boyfriend now, and they've been together for over 2 years now.
so just wait. you'll find that someone.

i don't think you can consider your situation to be liking someone.
if it's on/off like that, you probably never liked them, you just had a fickle feeling.
when you truly like someone, you know. you won't get tired of them.

You're bad at dating because you've never done it before. That's why you lose interest.
Everything takes practice, and relationships, feelings, situations involving them, are no different. You don't know what you want. You meet someone cool, they keep your interest for a bit, but then you're over it.

You feel like you win them over too easily.
The more you reach out for them, the more valuable they will be in your eyes.

It's difficult to break out of until you find somebody worth liking/staying with by your standards. Good luck? o_o

edit: I suggest you figure out what you want in a relationship, and what you expect from the other person. Maybe that will help out?

It's simple. STOP BEING PICKY. JUST GIVE A GUY THAT SEEMS OK A CHANCE. STOP WAITING FOR SOME MAGICAL GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE A K-DRAMA STAR TO SWEEP YOU OFF OF YOUR FEET, AND MEET A GUY. Get some experience. Quit running!

if you don't feel it that's fine. You can have interest in the beginning and then lose it as you continue talking to him. That's not mean or anything BUT. You can't play people you have to say it as soon as he starts flirting. "look i don't really know what i'm feeling, let me think about it okay"

Just state it to someone that you know likes you immediately and you're good.

if you`re young, have fun.
its not a bad thing you change you`re mind
but dont lead them on

Well, that's how it is. Sometimes being in love with them isn't enough ; everyone falls out of relationships.

You hit the nail..

It's not about me not having experience. I HAVE gone on dates before. It's the feeling that I don't have. I just think I never truly liked someone before.



Yah, I know what you mean. I do feel that way sometimes. The problem is, I think I have found someone but I keep letting my fluctuating feelings affect me. I know what I want from the relationship and what I expect from the other person. I've thought a lot about it already. Thanks for the advice.



Stop being picky? hoho, everyone has every right to be as picky as they want (to a reasonable extent, that is). I'm not going to just "give a guy that seems ok a chance" because I want a serious relationship where I am SURE I like the other guy. I don't want to date just for the heck of it.

Who said I'm waiting for this "magical guy?" That's NOT the issue -.-, I'm not waiting for Prince Charming. I just want to account for my changing feelings which I'm getting annoyed of.



I do, do that. I try to be careful around guys who might like me.


Thanks everyone for the input. ~ Would love to hear more comments, or your own experiences!

That happens to me too. Sometimes it's because the 'chase is over' but mostly it's because deep down I never fully liked them in the first place. I only had feelings when I didn't actually know them well enough to make up my decision yet.

I think maybe you should try and go after guys you're sort of friends with first?

dun worry..i've been there..i get bored easily too...but i guess that we hv 2 b patient n etc...maybe someday u'll get da guy dat u'll like n end up wit a happily ever after story..hehehe..

i think you need to give it some time.
I'm actaully in the same position as you right now. I let my mind overthink it and then I start
losing interest. But if you actaully like the guy, give it more time. or just break up and wait for that someone.

WOW I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A THREAD THAT SUITED ME SO MUCH BEFORE!!
same. but i dont actually like them. i just flirt. for one day, then i lose interest and we never talk again
until he starts flirting with me and i start...
there was actually one guy that i kinda liked... we were best friends for like three years then i found out he had feeelings for me. and i allowed it, then.. i kinda grew attached. but then i lost interest, and this went on like three times. and today, we dont talk.

You just want a boyfriend. Seeing as you haven't even been in a relationship before, and you keep liking guys on and off, you are just trying to find the right guy for yourself which is why you keep moving on so fast.

you;re not ready for a rs now. when you are ready for a serious rs - accepting the person as who he is, then you will stop having these on and off stuff. i was like that too because i was young. i'm older now and dating someone, and loving it

well im like that, i will like somebody but then i wont like them anymore if ever they found out that i like them

or i will lose my interest to them easily

but among them there's just 2 guys that i like for a long time

anywayzZ i think you will overcome it when you found the right person you truelly like

and yeah its just normal liking a lot of person as long as its just liking

This is going to sound insulting, but I don't mean it to be. In my personal experience, 90% of the time people with that issue (which is most people under 20 who lack a lot of life, social, and relationship experience) have a combination of emotional immaturity (i.e. they can't yet handle sustained romantic feelings) and a conscious or subconscious lack of self esteem (on some level, when a person seems to really like them, they have a "what about me could you even like?" reaction which turns them off to the person. i.e. If they like me, something must be wrong with them).

It COULD be that they just haven't met the right person yet, but generally I think the truth is that they're not ready from the standpoint of emotional and personal maturation to even be open to finding the "right person" at that point in their lives.

wow- you do have a stone heart and your problem is kinda complicated for me to help.

We're so similar! I overthink a LOT which just screws my initial feelings up :/. Right now, I'm trying to give it more time. I hope I'm able to open up during that time.



Actually I'm not sure if I want a boyfriend anymore. But I agree that I'm not sure if I found the right guy for myself yet.



I agree, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship just yet. It's really frustrating, because there's a really great guy who is "waiting" for me.



No offense taken at all. I am under 20 and I do acknowledge that I am not emotionally mature yet. I think your response was helpful for me to reevaluate myself. I am really mature in any other way, but I've had issues with emotions. I don't think I really lack self-esteem when it comes to a guy liking me though, unless I believe that guy really has no basis to like me on.

On a general level, I really am unsure if it's because people haven't found the right s/o yet, or because they are not mature yet. I guess it varies for each person.


Thanks for the replies again! Please free to respond .

ahhh i'm in the exact same situation as you! >< i've been this way for like a whole year now. I keep on having interest in a guy and then the next day I don't and most times he likes me back as well and so I end up rejecting him. Right now there's a guy i think I like but keep on pointing out flaws in him and overthinking. He has already asked me out so I really don't know if I should date him or not, I haven't answered him yet. Arghh I just really want to trully like someone but I haven't been able to since like my last boyfriend at least. Or maybe I am just in it for the chase and that I never trully like them in the first place? ahhhh :X

I only lose interest if they're boring or a jerk. :-/

There's nothing wrong with you. If there is, then there's something wrong with me and plenty of other people I know. I went through years of my life, liking a guy, then suddenly just snapping out of it. While, I do agree it could be from low self esteem issues, emotional immaturity, or some kind of defense mechanism, which may have been my problem, too, I'm thinking it's more you haven't met the right person.

I was in the same situation as you until I met my first kinda serious bf; he made me snap out of it. I couldn't NOT like him. It didn't last long, but what I'm trying to say, is maybe you just haven't met the right person. The person that makes you want to try. I mean, I STILL have the same problem, even after that relationship, so maybe we are just picky, but why date just for the sake of it? I just don't like the idea of going out with a guy that I'm just "meh" about. I'm all about giving people a try, but if there's just no sparks, it's not gonna happen for me. Lol, I hope this rambling helped.

i know what you mean.
and a lot of the times its how the other person acts. because my bf right now is fairly clingy, and im losing interest because it seems weird to always hear 'stay with me' and have him hanging around my classes when i dont feel the same way.
but eventually i do believe you'll find a guy who you can be in an equal relationship with, and he'll keep you hooked enough so that you'll be interested.

i believe you got your answer now from everyone's replies =]
I'm having the same problem as you :[ I'm trying really hard to stop, slow down and focus on one guy!
However, I have had serious relationships, know what I want and what I don't in a guy. I try to overlook little flaws he have because no one is perfect and focus on his good sides. I believe reasons why I'm losing interest in guys so fast is
1. They turn our rather boring after getting to know them
2. Only wants physical [college guys..sigh lol]
3. Their flaw[s] contradict with what I want in a guy
4. Sometimes..sad to say..they're too easy to get [i know that part is a bit immature and i'm trying to fix it]
I guess the only thing we can do is learn to slow down and wait for the one that can keep us hook lol, it's starting to work for me yay!
I hope you'll find him or he'll find you

I used to be exactly like you, til just last year.
I think also I just enjoyed the thrill of the chase.
Once I get 'em/find out they have feelings I lose interest quick.

Careful, that' ll be that one guy that' ll change all that around. eventually.

actually, i do know what you mean..
i'll like a guy, and then when they like me back, i suddenly just.. stop losing
interest in them? i feel like i always see another side of them when i start to
know him better. like my previous guy.. he was sweet & romantic. but he was
sooo cocky, and he thought so highly of himself. as much
as i LIKED him before, i slowly stopped liking him...

but one day there WILL be a guy that you will never lose interest in him.
it's just that you haven't found the right guy... just like me : (

I'm in the same exact situation... I can't differentiate whether or not I was/am in it for the chase or if I truly liked him. People keep saying that it's simple to tell if you like someone or not, but eh, not for me. :[



Thanks for letting me know that there are people like me out there, haha. I think it's just I haven't met the right guy who has liked me and I liked him enough for me to sustain interest. It could also be emotional immaturity... I totally agree with you about being picky and going out with a guy I don't feel that much for. We wouldn't be true to ourselves. I don't think I ever felt sparks with anyone..

Btw, your rambling did help!




Yeah I imagine I would get sick of that mushy stuff too if I don't feel that way. I'm definitely trying to look for that. I might have found someone, but I don't want to hurt him with my fastidious nature. :/



We're so alike! I know that no one is perfect, and that everyone has flaws (including me), but for some reason I'm having trouble committing and sticking to one guy. I just started college, and there are just so many choices out there (I probably sound terrible saying this) that makes me feel like not settling down yet. I did just start uni 3ish months ago... lol. I am the same with you with 1 and 4, and I think it's because I'm immature too. It's so hard to slow down, I guess we really need that "jerk" type who likes us but won't stand for our crap. XD



Aw, I hope so. I'll be waiting haha. How'd you find your guy?



Yay, another person similar to me! I feel like when I'm a guy's friend, I would want to be in a relationship with them because they're chill, we can chat a lot, etc, but when they do like me back, it's like ehh.. not what I expected.

Thanks again for the replies! Always want to hear more~

We're similar. When this guy I like starts liking me back, I quickly lose interest D: But that was years ago. I'm not like that anymore, I think. I used to be pretty immature back then, and I'd care about what other people will say. Don't worry. I'm sure your attitude will change once you meet someone whom you would really, really like.