I don't if it's a big deal but my bf consistently lies about playing games...I ask him if he has played games recently and he says no. I found out he made a purchase yesterday $15 for an online game. He says he has no money and all that and never bothers to buy me any gifts...not even for my birthday yet he has these extra money to buy games for himself. I always pay for his airplane tickets and other expenses for his visits and I ask if he can help me pay for some of the ticket and he says he doesn't have any money to spare. I just want him to tell the truth, I don't care if he plays or not but it's the lying aspect that upsets me. What should I do?

Tell him to choose: you or his videogames.

Talk to him about it. Don't do the whole ultimatum thing bc that's immature. Tell him how it makes you feel, that it seems like he places video games above u, that you like feeling like you're doing all the work (while he doesn't really try etc). Communication will sort it out.

Agreed wif SaRaNg Hae :]

.___. and wth, yooh pay for his air plane tickets, that juss doesnt' sound rite.

i am pretty sure he's pick games lol

lol.

You guys are only dating and you're already supporting/paying for him. That's so lame, seriously. He should get a job so he could PAY for HIS plane tickets to see YOU.

uh...dump his broke, lying, video game playing ass.

him lying about having no money, and lying about video games, then lying about using his money to buy said video games, means money > video games > you. sorry to be so harsh, but you're pretty much at the bottom of the list of importance if he'd rather save up money to buy vid games instead of using it to go see you. and he could be lying about other things too if he lies about something as small as buying video games and not having money.

Let me tell you something, my boyfriend plays some serious Street Fighter IV, and if it weren't for us getting together BEFORE the game came out, we probably never would have. He loves that game.
And you know what, if I gave MY boyfriend and ultimatum; me or the game, he would choose the game. Not because he doesn't love me, and not because he doesn't want this relationship, but because I'M childish enough to do something as ridiculous as put our entire relationship on the line because he wants to play a video game online for a couple of hours a day. By doing something like that, and showing an aggression because of it, he's not going to stop, in fact, he's just going to want to spend even less time with you, and more time with the game. Trust me, I went through the same exact thing months ago. He probably lies because you aren't supportive.

You know what you should do? Show that you're supportive of his gaming. If you think he spends too much time, or too much money on it, support him anyways, and he'll really appreciate it. I started supporting my boyfriends gaming more and you know what he did? He started playing less, and spending more time just laying around watching TV with me, and doing other various, non-Street-Fighter-IV related things.

Some guys just spend more time being young at heart. Maybe your boyfriend is blowing money on video games instead of on other stuff, if you can't be supportive of it and deal with it, then you should take it upon yourself to leave, because you're not going to be able to do anything to change that, and you'll only put extreme amounts of stress on your relationship. Let him be young and enjoy his video games. We all have to grow up eventually, and there will come a time in his life where he's not going to have that luxury anymore, so just let him have it while he still can. Honestly, pleasing men is simple. Sometimes stuff like this is really all it takes for him to think "Man, my girlfriend is really awesome, supportive, and just the best girlfriend in the world."

IMO I think you should dump him. The way you make him sound, he doesn't even care about you in the slightest. Otherwise, talk to him about it...then dump him. I mean really, who holds video games over their girlfriend?

i think its time to get a new bf
hes pretti inconsiderate n stuff

theres way better guys out ther
so let go of this one!

the game is wow or something online. those things are seriously addicting. i think you should support it, it's hard to quit.

My boy was in love with World of Warcraft. Oh, how I fought it. Give him the "It's WoW or me!" speech, even told him he had to stop playing, ignored him when he talked about it, ridiculed him about it...

Now I'm playing. ~_~ Serious case of, can't beat 'em, join 'em.
I think the reason he's acting so secretive about his game playing cuz it seems like if he mentions it, you'd blow your lid. Please ignore the "HE'S SO INCONSIDERATE, DUMP HIM" comments cause that's how we get so many "So, we've broken up" topics on here cause people don't give 2 seconds to try and sort stuff out.

As I ALWAYS say, talk to him about it. Say how you're feeling. Let HIM know. Come to a compromise, the guy obviously likes his games. He should calm down on it but not abandon it all together. If you guys don't have time to yourselfs, you'll not enjoy the relationship. I say compromise here. :\

You can be as supportive as you want, but when your boyfriend skips out on his own girlfriends BIRTHDAY so he can play videogames, then I think that's a problem. This goes beyond just letting boys be boys, and it goes BEYOND simple addiction, because apparently he cares more about his games than he cares about her.
Sorry, but support has to go both ways. She should support that he likes games, but he should ALSO support HER in general.
I am also dating a gamer boyfriend and he loves me enough to find a balance between the two. I'm not saying deal him an ultimatum, but I also don't think you should just give in.

I completely agree. I think a lot of people are completely missing the point. She doesn't have a problem with him playing video games. The whole point is that

1. He lies about it for no reason.
2. He doesn't even have the decency to spend a little money on her birthday but instead buys video games.
3. She pays for him to come see her and he won't even put off buying a few games and saving some money to HELP pay for the costs. She's not even asking him to buy the tickets himself. She's offering to help pay for it and he still says he "has no money" when he has money to buy new games.

I'm sorry but why should anyone have to be supportive of a guy like that? Should she continue paying for him to come see her? Be supportive? Hell NO. If she was just some girl whining about how her bf pays more attention to his video games than her then i'd probably say things similar to what everyone has been saying but that is not the case.

I'd tell you to break up with him but I don't know your situation well enough to tell you to do that. Besides, if you really like being with this guy, I don't think it'd be right to break up with him on a whim without having a proper talk about what's bothering you first. What I will say is that you should definetly talk to him about it. Ask him why he lies about playing games. Ask him why he doesn't feel like he should help pay for visits and expenses and yet he should buy himself new games. Have a good talk and get everything out and go on from there.

i suggest that you dont take the "dump him" advice first.
unless you really, really can't take it anymore.

my ex was a gamer too.
he lied to me about playing games too.
the game he was soooo addicted to was "World Of Warcraft".
and because of him, i hate WoW to the core of hell. lol.
he usually went like "imma go to bed now, nights bii ^^ <3"
but instead, he'd go off to a cyber cafe to play WoW with his friends. (that costs a lot of money too consider the hours be plays a day >>)
however, he spends a lot of time with me because i dont limit his playing, i guess.
i guess you should be more supportive of him, that way, he'll be more supportive of you.
try to pull him out of his addiction.

but yeah, him not paying is a big no no >>
maybe if you buy some games for him, he'll be more willing to fork out some cash for you o_o

why dont you just tell him how you feel?
communicate with him.

There has to be some middle ground. Like her bf should not be lying to her like that. The lying can develop into something worse later on in the relationship. If he becomes more honest about stuff then she should try giving him some support. Video games are great! They are material possessions though. I agree with a lot of posts you've had in the past, but a guy putting a video game before his gf isn't cool. When a girl is ok with saying if the video game came out before he met me we wouldn't be together. That screams low self esteem on the female's part. That screams that the guy views you as a side option, and you're A ok with that. I hope you work on that before your next relationship, because it would suck to be in a cycle of something repetitive. Not trying to be offensive. Just saying what's on my mind.

That's not right. I wouldn't even let a girl pay for my dinner, let alone a plane ticket.

^^I agree with this 100%. There are a lot of great boyfriends, husbands, and fathers out there who still play video games. BUT, a big but, the guy also has to know when enough is enough because if he doesn't then the relationship will never work.

In your case though it isn't the gaming that is the issue. The real issue is that he doesn't put any effort towards your relationship. Does he even have a job cause it kinda sounds like he doesn't. I also hope that you're not OFFERING to pay for his transportation cause then the fault lies on you and him. Him for letting you and you for doing so. The only ultimatum you should give him is that he start putting more effort into the relationship or the relationship will end.

Lol, no it doesn't, it says that if it weren't for meeting me, my boyfriend would be 100% indulged in the gaming scene, and wouldn't be looking for a girlfriend/dating. There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way about any point in your life.
We also don't really know the entirety of the situation, we just know this girls feelings about the situation, and not the side of the guys, and if he wants to be a kid still and not work on both, then there's really nothing wrong with that, and if she doesn't want to deal with it, then she doesn't have to. I just don't see why everyone is jumping all over this guy when the majority of posters on Soompi are high school kids who, logically, would rather play video games than be in serious relationships.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAA
I LOLed in real life.

Anyway, don't do the "video games or me" thing, that's stupid.

LOL. By you saying the 1st sentence proves my point. It's saying the video game is number 1. You're lower on the totem pole, and you're ok with it. Which assuming you're relationship has been going on for a whille? But ok I'll play along and say it doesn't mean that. I'm not jumping on the dude. I'll be the first to tell you video games are wonderful!! I could sit up and play video games for hours. LOL. But there's these 2 things called honesty, and time management. By lying to her like that it's not fair to her. I thought by him not making time to spend time with her is unfair to her. That's the only reason I even commented on the thread. I usually don't pay attention to some of the comments, because you're right. A lot of the kids are teenagers, but I'm not knocking every teenager. But one young poster's wisdom comes to mind. Mandoo* has some great opinions on stuff.

I still fail to see where the problem is in wanting to do something while you still can, like do childish things, instead of jumping into a relationship. The ONLY reason my boyfriend can do what he does is because I play competitive fighting games, too, he knows that, that's why our relationship works. That's exactly why if I wasn't around, and the game came out, he wouldn't be out searching for a girlfriend on Friday nights, because the chances of him finding a girl like me, who also plays, and understands, and enjoys the scene, would be very, very, small, and he would just be putting himself in a relationship where he would have to compromise one or the other, because let's face it, girls can be outrageous. We want our boyfriends to ourselves, but I'm awesome, and I love fighting games too, so it more than works out. He's just lucky that in loving me, he gets the perfect relationship where we both get to do the things we love, and in turn, we make each other happy.
I don't see anything wrong with this at all. Knowing what you want and don't want is half the battle, my boyfriend knows that, so when all you want to do is sit at home and play vidya games, why WOULD you go out and look for a girlfriend when you'll probably just end up pissing her off and breaking up anyways.
I might be lower on the totem pole if I were any other girl, but our relationship works because I'm weird and special.

hmmm maybe he bought the game after he said no i'm not playing any online games.

Wow... way to put yourself up on a pedestal like that... There's nothing special about a girl that plays games. There are TONS of girls that play games just as much as you do if not more.

It's really annoying to see a girl that puts herself up above other girls. There are PLENTY of girls like you that don't have the "i'm the mini cooper. I'm so much cooler and better than your average girl" attitude. Learn a little humility.

Let me tell you this right now. If your boyfriend was here in California, I would whoop his ass in that game.

EDIT: Honestly, it's not even worth it to try and argue with you idiots anymore. L2READ. I try to have a logical and interesting discussion with someone, and then some moron has to butt in about something that he basically just made up.

He probably feels like the way you're approaching/asking him about whether he's playing games is very accusatory. i.e. like he's in the wrong for having played games. Having said that, there's no excuse for lying. I think that's really just a sign of immaturity. But on the other hand, make sure you're not making him feel bad for doing things he enjoys.

His money expenditures seem to me to be the real issue, which is that he doesn't feel you're a priority. Some people can deal with relationships in which they're given the backseat to inanimate objects, others can't. Personally, I don't think I could.

I fail to see where there ISN'T problem in him letting her pay for his plane tickets (read: expensive) and other things, LYING about how he doesn't have money to pitch in, and spending money he DOES have on video games instead. This isn't a matter of playing video games while you're still young. He's being shady and selfish.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to play games and not jump into a relationship, but here's the thing, he's already in one. He should take repsonsibility and man-up or break up with her because he apparently can't handle it.

Oh no no, I agree that it's a problem if he's totally neglecting his girlfriend for it. The guy should have known that he's at a time in his life where video games > girls, and shouldn't have gotten into a relationship knowing that.

What I said was in response to someone else about my own relationship/boyfriend. Lying and stuff like that is never, ever, okay, so yes, the boyfriend in OP's situation is still in the wrong, I agree. Like, regardless of wanting to play video games and whatnot (which is fine, we all agree), he shouldn't be lying about it and what not. It just sounds like a classic case of him not knowing exactly where he is, or wants to be, in his life right now.

Just talk to him about it...He might just have a silly reason as to why he is doing the things he do...sometimes us guys just need our "ME TIME" with our favorite childhood hobby...

p.s. what kind of boyfriend makes their girlfriend pay for all the plane rides? If I really didn't have money, I wouldn't make the girl pay at all..and instead, I would save up over the period of a few months..

Lol, I'm in the same situation. My boyfriend was in love with World of Warcraft. I couldn't pull him off the game. Each night he would spend endless hours raiding and doing instances with his guild. I was upset because the time that he spends raiding was the time he used to spend with me. Eventually I gave up. I gave him the speech: WoW or me? He had to pick one but it was useless. The more we fought, the more he played on the game. I was going insane at that time. I didn't know what was so addicting about the game.
Then about half a year later, he installed the game on my laptop and let me play with him. At first, I hate it because the game gave me motion sickness but eventually we reached level 80. At this time, the guild (our real life friends) helped geared my character out, then eventually I become Guild Master of our guild. Lol, funny thing if you ask. It's so weird that I once hated the game, then played the game, and now the game is attached to me because of being Guild Master. Lol, its weird.
However, now that I'm playing WoW, my bf quit the game and downloaded a new game to play instead.


Guys will always be guys-- just let them be.

guys will always play games
my science teacher is old now, his sons are all married and his hair is all white
and yu know what he still plays WOW
Even added some of the kids at our school to play with as welll


Really just compromise with him, coz it wont do good to argue about it (went through something similar as well)
How about he spend at least a few hours talking to yu and then he can go off playing his games

Hm... ultimatum does sound childish, but if you've only begun dating him I don't see anything wrong with it. Better to break it off now than dig yourself a hole.

I can't believe he didn't get you anything on your birthday. That's harsh. You need to stop paying for his airplane tickets & other expenses.

that's stupid that's he's lying about some petty things like that.
makes you wonder what else he could be lying about. :l
especially since he does it with ease and without concern for your feelings.

and that's outrageous that YOU have to pay for his plane ticket.
sure, if he's low on cash every so often, it'd be nice to help him out.
but yeah.. all the time? not cool.
i pay for my boyfriend's meals every so often because i feel bad if he's the one who's always playing.
stop paying for his expenses.
he's getting/gotten used to it. and he's getting too comfortable.


and you paying for it just encourages him even more.
"since my girlfriend paid for my plane ticket, i can spend more money on games." sort of thing.

sounds more like a dedication problem than just videogames

You should talk to him about how u feel. Maybe he doesn't know or see what hes doing wrong. Everyone looks at things differently. As someone posted earlier maybe he lying to u about games because he thinks u see it as wrong. He doesn't want to lose u and doesn't want to give it up. As for u paying for everything maybe he does have a money problem. Tbh $15 for a game is pretty cheap if u ask me. My bf spends more then that on games per month.

First of all, I am not a HE. Second of all, this isn't something I just "made up". You're obviously the one that needs to L2R considering you completely missed the whole point of the OP's problem. If you don't see it then go read over your first post.

Almost every post that deals with the way "women are" has to do with you putting yourself up above everyone talking about how "women are vile" and so forth. Like I said, learn a little humility. You've obviously put yourself up on a pedestal because you think you're one in a million because you play games. Lose that attitude. Maybe you should create your own gender so you won't be associated with the rest of us "vile" and "outrageous" women.

Btw, the way you've decided to react to my post obviously shows that you are older, wiser, and better than the rest of us. /sarcasm

Tell him to pay for his own tickets. Want to visit? Fork out some cash!
But if I were him, I'd probably just stick with not visiting and go with the games. Sigh?

you should talk to him about what bothers you and how you dont mind that he play video games and that you dont like the fact that he is being secretive about it etc. If he doesnt change for the better then dump his ass >=/ . And stop paying for his visits, stop spoiling him otherwise he'll get used to it and expect you to always pay for him and support him.

Listen, you're an idiot, but that aside, you're also wrong.
My post had nothing to do with how great and superior I was, if you had actually read it, you would know that. ALL I SAID, was that our relationship works because I'm weird and a nerd. THAT'S IT. There was no "well you see, I'm the best girl alive so of course he would be with me," which you DID make up. If you don't see it then you're blind. You 100% took something I said, and misconstrued the meaning of it. I don't see how you could even begin to try and pretend that you didn't, I mean, it's right there.

By the way, you're only proving how stupid women are even more. You think you're bashing me for a post that 1. wasn't directed towards you, 2. wasn't directed towards women at all, and 3. that you tore apart and reconfigured how you felt necessary, so you want to say that I put myself on a pedestal, and I try to be better than all vile women on the planet? No, that's not true, but I sure as hell try to be better than women like you, if you can even call yourself a woman.

There, how's that for mature, pinkberry? If you disagree with my posts and so much and dislike me so much, then don't reply to me again, it's pathetic. I'm busy being better than you in every conceivable way.

P.s. I need to get this cleared up as well. I DON'T like be associated with "gamer girls", I'm not a "gamer girl". Gamer girls are whores. They're starved for attention and they put themselves out there for it. At least, the "famous" ones that I've met, so no, I don't think I'm the mini cooper because I play fighting games, but I sure as hell think I'm better than that, I hope you all think the same of yourselves.

Rofl. Wow, it seems i've managed to push your buttons. Calm down. Take a chill pill. You're a little too sensitive for my tastes considering I wasn't even bashing you. Was I calling you names or something?

I said that your post was about how awesome you were. I think the main thing that bugged me was that you had this post talking about how awesome you were and saying how girls are outrageous and just before that I saw posts of you talking about how women are this and that.

I told you to L2R because you completely missed the whole point of the OP's problem. Not only that but my reply was in response to your overall attitude and not just your one post. Whether your relationship goes well because you play games ... I could care less.

Way to generalize women. Don't shove women in there as a whole just because you don't like the things i'm saying or because you think i'm "an idiot". That's exactly your problem. You generalize women. You don't try to be better than all women. You think you're better than all women.

You obviously think i'm wrong but I stand by my analysis of what i've seen from all your posts. (That includes other posts i've seen from you. Not just these ones.) I will tell you this once again. You are not any more special or better than the rest of us. You're a girl just like the rest of us and probably just as stupid, idiotic, vile, outrageous, etc.. more or less, as any other human being on the face of the planet.


( I never said I disliked you. I dislike your attitude towards women. ) If you have any other insults to throw at me i'd appreciate it if you'd just send them through PMs so that the OP can get advice on her problem.

Yeah, no offense, but it kind of also makes him seem like a gold digger. 'Cause wow, a plane ticket isn't cheap, and he's not even willing to pay for SOME of it? That's not right.

i'd dump him
he clearly puts games in front of you
he should definitely pay for his share of things...at least half, if not all ......

you should confront him first though..n see how it goes. if he continues...then. yah u deserve someone better

what's with him? just tell you the truth, if i were you- i won't ask him about this matter but i will doing the same thing like what he did, don't buy gifts for him. well, i am a childish- what do you expect from me?