Lust Vs Marriage - soompi forums

Lust Vs Marriage & two jokes

#1 sj22

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 12:50 PM

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Lust vs Marriage

LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.

LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.

LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.

LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to b.tch about work.

LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.

LOVE - When your only concern is for your partner's feelings.
LUST - When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all around
MARRIAGE - When you're only concern as to what's on TV.

LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - When you only see each other naked.
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.

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One night, this guy comes into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.

"What's the matter?" the bartender asks.

"My wife and I got into a fight," explained the guy "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days."

The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?" asked the bartender.

"Yeah, except today is the last night."

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A young man went to an interview for potential guests on a TV talk show. "What do you do?" the show's producer asked the young man.

"I imitate birds," the young man answered.

"What?" grunted the producer. "People who imitate birds are a dime a dozen. We can't use you."

"Okay," replied the disappointed young man. And he flapped his arms and flew out the window.

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#2 x_clueless

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 12:58 PM

LOL! That was funny. Too bad I'm in school so I couldn't really laugh without looking like an idiot.

#3 Mrs.Winchester

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 01:27 PM

i LOVED the last one

#4 Janice<3

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 01:59 PM

ahaha. i like the first joke hehe. marriage isn't THAT bad, is it?? >_<

#5 KyOotKrnAng3l

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 04:34 PM

puhahaha the last one was funny~!! xD

#6 macy

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 04:37 PM

the bird one was the funnest. lolz..

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#7 Joanne <3

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 07:20 PM

LOL! Totally love the lust vs marriage joke... and the joke after that. Hahaha. ^___^ Thanks for posting!

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#8 -:Jenny:-

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 07:46 PM

hahaha the bird one was funny
lol

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#9 s3rene

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 08:16 PM

I don't understand the bird one.

The bartender joke is funny though.

#10 ANYOTHERDAY

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 08:26 PM

Hahaha, I love the Marriage ones. xD Hilarious.

#11 Keiyun

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 08:47 PM

Could someone explain the bird one? o_O
They're funny though xD I'm going to tell them to my friends later. x3

#12 pyroignition

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Posted 11 December 2006 - 08:57 PM

QUOTE(lydia @ Dec 11 2006, 03:50 PM)

LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.

LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.

One night, this guy comes into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.

"What's the matter?" the bartender asks.

"My wife and I got into a fight," explained the guy "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days."

The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?" asked the bartender.

"Yeah, except today is the last night."

haha love the 1st joke and "the bank owns everything" hahaha

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