[juliehongx]

These are actual answers from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world.


"When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."

"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"

"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube"

"When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"

"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"

"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."

"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."

"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."

"Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."

"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."

"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."

"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

"The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."

"The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects."

"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."

"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."

"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."

"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."

"Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception."

"Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

"Liter: A nest of young puppies."

"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."

"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."

"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."

"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."

"Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."

"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."

"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."

"For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artifical perspiration."

"For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."

"For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."

"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."

"To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."

"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."

"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."



Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.

A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever.

There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up here these days.

Lime is a green-tasting rock.

Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred
to be oil.

Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.

Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's.

Clouds are high flying fogs.

I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.

Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.

A blizzard is when it snows sideways.

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.

Wind is like the air, only pushier.


lol. funny stuff. haahahaha

[Pol2ns7al2]

"When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"
"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.
IMO, the funniest

"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
thats true actually

and the quotes from "Equator:..." to the one about contraception are so stupid that i dont think anyone used them as answers
if they did they should get shot

[chicken2]

"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow." <-- i find this really really funny.

[tali]

I like these

"For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."
I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.
Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.

Hahahah! Thanks for a hilarious read.

[bubblishxtrem]

That is so freaking funnyyyy!!!!!!

[made in cHiNa]

omg i wonder if anyone actually follow the directions..like the nosebleed one or fainting
that would be funny~~!

[D.aze.dA.n.dC.raze.d]

some of these are quite true and not all that funny...

but the others are XDXDXDXD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Malice_Kaiser]

LMAO. Some of these were way too funny XD

[Jangoon]

lol these are good stuff!!!

[soupinmychickenoodle]

omg that's some funny stuff. I couldn't pick out the funny ones because they were all so funny!

[JENNY*]

lmao, these are hilarious. And it's so stupid =X ahha

[MythnoonA]

they're really funny, but not so funny if some of the answers actually do come from college students--because some of them still think the Sun revolves around the Earth. As weird and made-up as they sound to some people, one of my teachers used to tell us some of the answers to his test questions--and some of these are pretty similar. xD

[missjade143]

LOL ahaha yeah they're funny thxxxx

[i KITTY x3 =)*]

"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."

Umm.. isn't this one actually true? o_O I don't get why it's funny T_T..

[hellokittyangei]

"For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artifical perspiration."

thought that one was HILARIOUS. haha XD

[KyOotKrnAng3l]

haha didn't finish reading but funny =]

[kiut_me]

ROFL these are funny

"Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there."
"Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother."
"To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up."
"I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing."
"A monsoon is a French gentleman."

some of the ones i think are funny xD
the one about arteries, vains and capillaries are funny too! caterpillars haha -__-;;;

"To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."

ROFL ROFL ROFL

these are the one of the few things posted here that actually make me laugh

[jolynn]

the mushroom one was the best, haha!

[rainbow_nonstop]

Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred
to be oil.
\
this is so funny XD

[herro diana]

- "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
That one is pretty cute, haha.

- "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
LOL.

- A blizzard is when it snows sideways.
Again, cute... lol!