soompi forums: "intellectual Whores" - soompi forums

Jump to content

  • (2 Pages)
  • +
  • 1
  • 2

"intellectual Whores" a funny read

#1 User is offline   pel1300 

  • Member
  • Pip
  • Group: Banned
  • Posts: 891
  • Joined: 14-December 05

Posted 17 February 2007 - 03:48 PM

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

Have any of you ever read this?

It's pretty funny, and it is meant to be humorous, so don't take it too seriously(to those of you who get easily defensive and offended).

Here are a couple parts:

QUOTE
Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.
QUOTE
IF A MAN FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS

Many women want to argue this point and say things like " I have lots of guy friends." Maybe. There are exactly 3 cases Intellectual Whores has identified whereby a guy and a girl can be friends:

1. The guy is gay
2. The guy does not find you attractive.
3. The guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladder

Even Nietzsche knew this. Most guys know this intuitively. Most girls doubt. I have a challenge for all of you girls who still doubt. Pick a guy who does not meet any of the criterion on the above list that you think is your friend. Then ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and came out naked and asked him to have sex with you would he:

1. Tell you he doesn't want to risk the beautiful friendship you have created with messy physical entanglements.
2. Comply

Remember this only works if you are honest with yourself. Number one is of course something that guys hear all the time. Intellectual Whores refers to it as the Kiss of Death. It is more likely that he will jump you eagerly.


QUOTE
As to the first point, that of money. Well most guys know that women dig guys with money. Would Donald Trump be john teshing models if he wasn't rich? That question is rhetorical. Now I don't even believe this is wrong, I think it is just nature. But I also think women who are this way (and it is almost all of you) should be honest and admit that they are basically whores, and stop saying bad things about the so-called "actual whores" who are just trying to earn an honest living.

Most women read this and say something like, "Well I'm not the average woman because..blah...blah...not true...blah blah...my boyfriend/lover/husband/masseuse was poor...blah...blah."

If you thought something like this you are very likely the average woman. If you read it and went "Hmmm..." and then you went back to doing physics, then you have a case.

Looks are not to be discounted. I see many girls revert to about a seventh grade emotional level when they see some guy at the club, or some guy from a crappy movie. I think everyone has seen this phenomena, and it seems to have become an alarming trend in women of increasing age.

The attraction category is broken down further in the next section. This is a change from previous versions of the ladder theory that included looks here instead of attraction. I feel this is a more accurate depiction, as evidenced by experiment and peer review.

The last 10% was my effort to give women the benefit of the doubt. A common question men ask of women is "Tell me what you want in a man?", which is like asking how many guys she's slept with, an invitation to be lied to. Because she'll almost invariably answer with some combination of

* sense of humor
* intelligence
* sensitivity
* emotional stability

As far as I can tell this is mostly rubbish. But in an effort to be fair I have included this, since there seem to be a few rare cases of this. Just none that I have ever seen.
QUOTE

Another thing to watch out for is the code words women use. Here is a translation guide for dealing with women.

Says: I want a man who is motivated and has goals.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: I want a man who knows how to treat a woman.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: He's from a really good family.
Means: He's from a really rich family.

I'm sure you get the point. Let's move on.


QUOTE
Scenario 3: A girl says any of the following to you:

* "You're like a brother to me"
* "You're like a big teddy bear"
* "I feel like I can talk to you about anything"
* "You're so nice"
* "Can you help me with my homework"


Ladder Theory Explanation: You are on the friends ladder. So Sorry.

0

#2 User is offline   sushiwhore 

  • S-Ban Enforcer p(=.=; ) *it's tough love*
  • Icon
  • Group: Friends of Soompi
  • Posts: 11,599
  • Joined: 04-October 05

Posted 17 February 2007 - 04:12 PM

=/ i must agree with the first qoutation o_o my bf told me the same exact thing o_o


its sad =/
SUSHIWHORE'S W.A.N.T.E.D list (store!)
Seven for All Mankind- Rock& Republic- Thrift Bin- Misc!


B&A Makeup; Indiv. Lash Tut. ;; Wavy Hair Tut.;;FACEBOOK IT
0

#3 User is offline   jenniifer xOx 

  • Member
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,722
  • Joined: 04-October 05

Posted 17 February 2007 - 04:14 PM

hahahaha i'm not a guy but this is funny.

Most men out there probably do have sex on their minds when meeting a new female friend, especially if she's attractive. I'm sure they wouldn't mind having sex with herr haha.


0

#4 User is offline   BU_RP 

  • TNGUYEN; nguyenxxviet ♥
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,932
  • Joined: 06-October 05

Posted 17 February 2007 - 06:01 PM

ahaha that was funny. and so true too (y) !
Hot Asian Girl in process!
0

#5 User is offline   Melyxcious 

  • Diego Fainello ♥
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 4,268
  • Joined: 05-October 05

Posted 17 February 2007 - 06:05 PM

mellow.gif

... that "i have many guy friends" thingy is...



...damn they're so true T.T;;;

majority of them all are true hahahah xD

0

#6 User is offline   green.lollipops! 

  • Member
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 914
  • Joined: 25-August 06

Posted 17 February 2007 - 06:51 PM

hahahahhhaha these were very entertaining to read
Chocolate Rasberry Lemon & Lime
0

#7 User is offline   chubzzy 

  • healing process
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 12,510
  • Joined: 04-October 05

Posted 17 February 2007 - 07:39 PM

indeed very entertaining and interesting, but i'm not sure if all of them are really true.
the sex part... i do agree it's true. even my male friend admits that if he sees an attractive female, he'd wish he has sex with her too. lol.... well, i guess the male's mind has 90% of it being comprised of sex sex sex more sex biggrin.gif
0

#8 User is offline   lynnshim 

  • Member
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,382
  • Joined: 20-February 06

Posted 17 February 2007 - 07:44 PM

I agree. Guys cannot be friends with Girls because in the end they start to like you.
0

#9 User is offline   Jangoon 

  • lower my warning % please been over a year
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,179
  • Joined: 04-October 05

Posted 18 February 2007 - 02:25 AM

Thats soo true.. haha =o
all the girls that i met.. ive daydreamed of having it with them at least once.. hah
fUCLA =D
0

#10 User is offline   bangism! 

  • 커피 타와 ♥
  • Icon
  • Group: Friends of Soompi
  • Posts: 2,014
  • Joined: 04-January 07

Posted 18 February 2007 - 02:43 AM

LOL.

QUOTE
Another thing to watch out for is the code words women use. Here is a translation guide for dealing with women.

Says: I want a man who is motivated and has goals.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: I want a man who knows how to treat a woman.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: He's from a really good family.
Means: He's from a really rich family.

I'm sure you get the point. Let's move on.
Haha, gold diggers.
Posted Image Posted ImagePosted Image
0

#11 User is offline   Honey_Babee 

  • Love Sick ♥
  • Icon
  • Group: Friends of Soompi
  • Posts: 5,231
  • Joined: 25-October 06

Posted 18 February 2007 - 09:15 AM

wow....
QUOTE
Another thing to watch out for is the code words women use. Here is a translation guide for dealing with women.

Says: I want a man who is motivated and has goals.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: I want a man who knows how to treat a woman.
Means: I want a rich man

Says: He's from a really good family.
Means: He's from a really rich family.

I'm sure you get the point. Let's move on.

MUAHAHAHAHHAHAH

Posted Image
0

#12 User is offline   siliconrex 

  • Auto Awesome
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,135
  • Joined: 13-October 05

Posted 18 February 2007 - 07:11 PM

QUOTE
IW Glossary of Terms
Kiss of Death -- A friends speech ending in a hurtling trip to the Abyss. Specifically when a woman tells you something along the lines of "I think of you as a friend." It always results in a rejection of some sort.

B_h -- 99.999% of women. Note for men: I know they are. Note to women: yes, you are in this group. More accurately it is a woman who is not honest about why she won't sleep with you. Or sometimes, just a woman who won't sleep with you. And of course women who won't admit the basic truth of Ladder Theory.

God -- Something you should profess belief in if you think it will help you bang some pinkberry.

Outlaw Biker -- The prototype of everything women say they don't want but really do. And you will know him by his forearm tattoo, 'street smarts,' weed connection, domestic violence convictions, and the fact that the women you are an intellectual whore to are always complaining about him to you before they go off to f_k him, or leave you in a bar to go home with him.

Intellectual Whore -- This is defined here

Intellectual Pimp -- The woman that a man is an intellectual whore to.

bubble gum -- 99.999% of men. Note to women: I know they are. Note to men: I know you aren't really, and that it's just an act to get women. Essentially it is
a man who acts like a man.

Sesquipedalian -- a really cool word. It means long-winded, polysyllabic, or verbose. See the word describes itself...isn't that neat?
QUOTE

Notice that Bob has Jane very low while Bob is very high on Jane's ladder. He is most likely rich and she is most likely ugly. Anyhow this is a classic case of disparity. If we connect the two points we can make a right triangle. The resulting hypotenuse "c" is the magnitude of the disparity.


LMFAO

edit: for some reason his logic reminds me of HaHa vs a girl on dangyunhaji
0

#13 User is offline   Mrs.Winchester 

  • Old School Member
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 3,078
  • Joined: 04-October 05

Posted 18 February 2007 - 08:33 PM

the last one, definitely true. hahahaha
0

#14 User is offline   pokieelicious 

  • Member
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,318
  • Joined: 06-March 06

Posted 18 February 2007 - 08:38 PM

hahhahahahhas
'guys cant be friends with girks that kinda sucks
0

#15 User is offline   Mentality 

  • Irrelevant lurker
  • Icon
  • Group: Friends of Soompi
  • Posts: 1,067
  • Joined: 14-October 06

Posted 18 February 2007 - 11:56 PM

Haha. Iono. That's funny yet it's kinda depressing. I'm not sure if I agree or not. I do but half of me doesn't. >.<!
0

#16 User is offline   chulsu 

  • Member
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 149
  • Joined: 27-January 07

Posted 19 February 2007 - 12:36 AM

haha it may have been meant to be humorous
but i found alot of it true biggrin.gif
0

#17 User is offline   ~azn_pwincess~ 

  • ~~ChiKa-RawRR~~
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,840
  • Joined: 05-October 05

Posted 19 February 2007 - 01:29 AM

oomgggggggg i gave up half way... too much to read O______o
0

#18 User is offline   ithinkitslove 

  • Member
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 526
  • Joined: 23-December 06

Posted 19 February 2007 - 03:05 PM

this is funny but kinda sad mellow.gif lol !
0

#19 User is offline   Mirae-chan 

  • Am I a rock, or a rose, or a fist?
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 4,311
  • Joined: 03-December 05

Posted 19 February 2007 - 03:44 PM

One more way you can be friends with a guy without the sex thing in the way; they're freaking related to you.
Horikita Maki

{avatar me | icons phonestrap, nantokaa}
_graphicsize. | + SHOPPE | Muffler Survey
0

#20 User is offline   strawberrynkiwi 

  • Member
  • Pip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 4,346
  • Joined: 04-October 05

Posted 19 February 2007 - 06:22 PM

^^ I wouldn't be so sure bout that. hahaha Incest does exist.

♥strawberryANDkiwiSTORE ENTER
tumblr formspring.me patricialeeillustration.com
No Jesus. No Peace. Know Jesus. Know Peace
0

Share this topic:


  • (2 Pages)
  • +
  • 1
  • 2

2 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users