[songielove]

hello!

i will be an incoming freshman this fall and am still thinking about roomming w/ my friends. But i've read a lot of articles warning about the outcomes etc. I was wondering if anyone was currently rooming w/ a close friend for college and how it is for you? Is there a lot more stress w/ your relationship or do you feel it is helpful? From scratch, i think it'll be fine. But i'm j/ a bit curious after reading those articles. Maybe someone can help me understand the lifestyle of rooming w/ your BFF?

Thanks

[dunpingy]

it doesnt really matter how good friends you are
just make sure your lifestyles match, like living habits and etc.
there shouldnt be any major conflicts as long as youre willing to talk it out when theres a problem instead of letting it pass

[donny fyasko]

No. Don't dorm with your HS friend.
You guys need to branch out.

I've had friends who were sick of their HS friends after dorming with them for a semester.

[cielle]

I lived with my middle school friend (best friend) during high school.

Just beaware, because i would never repeat that experience again.

Like dunpingyi said, it doesn't matter how close you two are. It matters how much your life style (ESPECIALLY SLEEPING TIME!) matches. If you are a late sleeper and they goto sleep @ around 9, don't live with them. You are going to regret it. If you like playing music alot and they enjoy the quiet, don't live with them.

I still like my best friend but if i didn't know her as well and was forced to live there because I had nowhere else to go, I might have ended up hating her. I still hated my experience. It might tear your relationship apart so beaware!

[Lucystar]

I'm living with a okay friend next year. I don't even go to the same high school as she does but we get along. I think it'll be okay. We're not bitches or anything.

[Pseudonym]

I live with one of my best friends from high school. Things have been fine, I don't find that we have any problems with each other. The only thing is that she sleeps early and I'm a night person.

[starstrewnnight]

Yes lifestyle. My friend dormed with two other people from high school. They weren't best friends or anything. Not even close friends, but just friends. She found them inconsiderate and gross. One brought her bf to her room and they had sex while the other roommate was watching. They weren't cooperative with chores and my friend had to clean the bathrooms and take out the trash. Also, little things like sharing stamps can ruin a friendship. My friend bought stamps and the other mates used it. When it ran out, she asked one of them to buy it since she's been buying them. Coming the day she needs a stamp, my friend asked one of the girls if she's bought one, and the roommate said no. She asked the roommate if she could go buy some and the girl just said no. O_o I mean, some people don't have common courtesy!

You can room with a friend, but make sure you guys talk about your daily routines and work it out.

[songielove]

thanks for telling me about these experiences. I'm pretty sure it will okay if we all really talk together and make plans on routines and responsibilities. And it's helpful if we're all comfortable and understanding of each other right?

[birthdaycakes]

I live with a good HS friend of mine. Don't see her often AT ALL anymore since she's always (literally) at her bf's, but last year it wasn't bad. I'm not rooming with her next year though. Anyway, I still made my own friends....I know a lot of people and all, and we're not hating each other....so yeah, it is a lifestyle thing, make sure you two match, like we did, if that's what you're going to do. If you're worried it might impede your 'branching out'....well, that's honestly your decision, you decide to go out and meet people. Good luck though....

[s_yoobo]

my roommate and i have been friends since 8th grade.
we've been living together for 2 years, and probably the next two years too.
it's fantabulous. it really depends on how chill you and your friend are.

[songielove]

^thank you both birthdaycakes & s_yoobo!*~
i think i'm less worried now.

[xx_swit_c_xx]

If you're gonna do EVERYTHING together, than NO don't dorm together.

Either way, if you do or don't -- make NEW friends and DO NOT EAT together every single day and don't make plans that like fit with the other person do you know what I mean? like trying to set times for lunch and dinner every day.. or setting times when you'll be together to study etc... don't always work YOUR schedule around to fit the other friend.

I dormed with my best friend. But then because of a guy (her boyfriend) I ended up switching out and we didn't talk for 1 year. I'm not saying everyone who dorms with their friend turns up as enemies.. but you never know. Even if you dorm with someone else, you can STILL hang out with your friend just as much. It's easier not to be in eachother's face 24/7....

But if you have different schedules and wont see eachother a lot than it could be okay. But if you expect things like her being in the room certain times.. or eating together and if you dont talk to eachother about things that bother eachother you will be screwed. communication is KEY =D and if you guys cant meet eachothers personal dorming needs, it's not gonna work. set the rules DAY 1. not mid semester but the FIRST day.. make a list or something haha.. of what's ok and what's not (coming in late, waking up early, bringing guys over to sleep.. etc)..

College shouldn't be only about having fun with high school friends.. you gotta leave your comfort zone and make new friends.. even if you're scared, you always make new friends and you sometimes lose the high school buddies =] people change a lot in college. you'd be surprised. people go very different ways.

but yeah, i know some people who make good dorming buddies and they're friends.. so sometimes it works out as long as you really be careful. the people i know - they dont hang out 24/7 with eachother. they also have other friends u know? =] yep

[songielove]

^yes. Thanks for the tips and do's and don'ts.

There will be 3 of us totaled rooming together. And over the years, communication has been a key to our friendship. We are going to make a contract and set some rules BEFORE day 1. It'll be fine. I can't wait to make new friends actually. Excited!*~

Thanks you all.

[sphynkter]

it really depends if your lifestyles are similar. a lot of the times it will put stress on our friendship. people that spend too much time together get annoying at each other by the smallest things. i would say to not dorm together. it would be better to get separate roommates and to live in the same dorm.

[mochi <3]

i'm dorming with a friend who i've known since middle school. so i've known her for like 7 years already. but...like everyone has said, the lifestyles really do make a difference. It also depends on your own personalities and how much you're able to cope with. As of now, my friend has stopped talking to me and our other roommate completely. We've tried to talk to her countless time, but she just gets pissed off. the point of this was that people, in a way, do change once they go to college. everyone has their own set of priorities. no matter how close you were prior to college, thats not going to compare with actually living with them. It's like that say: "you don't know somebody until you live with them". It's true. You get to learn each other's quirks and stuff. If you're able to deal with each other and be able to speak out if something is troubling you...then go for it.

After a year with rooming with each other, there are only 2 end results: 1) either the friendship ends (or put on hold....?) or 2) the friendship gets stronger....


I hope that helps. Choosing roommates is really difficult because you have to find somebody who is really compatible with you. Best of luck with the roomie situation and in college!

[ARI]

i roomed with my best friend from grade 3
we're still living together and will continue to till grad =)
but like everyone said.. its the lifestyle that makes the experience good/bad

[songielove]

^wow!* that's awesome. thanks for all your inputs/stories. ^^