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My Dog Named Sex best story ever ^^

#1 User is offline   whiterainbowx 

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Post icon  Posted 07 May 2007 - 10:51 PM

My Dog Named Sex

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Same here!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I can't live any longer being so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog."
Blog - enjoy :D
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#2 User is offline   tomato=) 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 12:10 AM

pwhahahahaha!
QUOTE
Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog."
how ironic


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#3 User is offline   calamity_ 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 12:16 AM

Haha. It feels like I've already read this before.

But it's still funny! XD
I wonder why he named his dog Sex.. >__>

The power of imagination makes us infinite.
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#4 User is offline   sweetanxiety 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 01:50 AM

<____________<;;
so much "sex" poping up.
lolol. P:

i like the ending. biggrin.gif
-- &nina;

Disolve&Decay
there's nothing left for me.
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#5 User is offline   fullhouse.forever 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 01:57 AM

lol how funny..

poor guy!!
Currently reading : My Dream Synopsis Of Goong 2
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#6 User is offline   xxlingzz 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 03:54 AM

LOL! of all names.. why sex?
i wonder~ hmm..
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#7 User is offline   viffaye 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 04:00 AM

QUOTE(sweetanxiety @ May 8 2007, 07:50 PM) View Post
<____________<;;
so much "sex" poping up.
lolol. P:

i like the ending. biggrin.gif


haha i like the ending toooo xD

THE 411 YO!
SJ LOVE <3

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#8 User is offline   NJSK. 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 04:52 AM


haha nice ending!!
i didn't expect that.


muchlove!
-jisoo

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#9 User is offline   koreanchick08 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 12:37 PM

this was funny. i started laughing right when i started to read it
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#10 User is offline   kher 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 12:43 PM

puahahahahha! that's funny...thanks for sharing!
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#11 User is offline   lilil aZn babe 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 02:23 PM

lolllll!!! wow.............
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#12 User is offline   SSONG. 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 02:30 PM

why would he name his dog that? LOL
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#13 User is offline   soupinmychickenoodle 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 03:45 PM

lol! I remember reading this before. xD of all the names, why sex?
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#14 User is offline   Amichanx3 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 04:48 PM

hahaha pooor guy.why couldnt he just change his dog name ?!
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#15 User is offline   DBSK_love 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 06:00 PM

QUOTE(lizzy2OO6 @ May 8 2007, 01:51 AM) View Post
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Same here!"


lol...
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#16 User is offline   christine_cdc 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 06:11 PM

Lmao XD
Already read this before, but still funny anyway tongue.gif
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#17 User is offline   Rui-Rui 

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 06:15 PM

A friend showed this story to me years ago. It's very strangely funny.
PKicon ©sachiko
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#18 User is offline   stoked! 

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Posted 10 May 2007 - 04:50 AM


LOLL. that is so hilarious. XDDD. who would name their dog sex anyway?. I like the ending tho.



<3 hyie

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#19 User is offline   jeremyc 

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Posted 10 May 2007 - 05:13 AM

hahah i showed my girlfriend and she couldn't stop laughing.
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#20 User is offline   ~azn_pwincess~ 

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Posted 10 May 2007 - 05:26 AM

HAHAHAHAHA LOlz... niiice biggrin.gif xDD
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