Short Joke Thread - soompi forums

Short Joke Thread Jokes that are less than 5 lines - POST THEM HERE ; PLS READ 1ST POST

#1 1SwtDeception

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Posted 22 May 2007 - 08:31 PM

QUOTE

NOTE: RACIST JOKES ARE NOT TOLERATED. Do not post any racist jokes in here! People seem to think it's okay, but think again. Please read the rules and follow them. Same goes for non PG-13 sexual jokes. I am still monitoring this thread so keep that in mind. Warnings WILL be given. Keep the jokes clean, please and thanks!

- Poop-Shoop-A-Loop

Short Joke Thread

Where all the short joke goes in...

20 Cheesy jokes!
Clever Dog - http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=159633
Various short jokes - http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=154645
English Lesson http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=214987
A bear walks into a bar - http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=134629

This post has been edited by Poop-Shoop-A-Loop: 09 May 2009 - 11:25 PM

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#2 1SwtDeception

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Posted 22 May 2007 - 11:13 PM

PM AkimotoMitsuki, sugarplum892, or pure.sophiestication for ANY S/T manners.

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#3 the kite

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Posted 15 June 2007 - 12:50 AM

So if I said,

Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms!

and

Why can't Bob run?
Because he's a fish!

Would I be allowed to do that? Or is this thread for the threads with 5 lines? o_o

#4 1SwtDeception

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Posted 15 June 2007 - 02:17 PM

QUOTE(bloo. @ Jun 15 2007, 03:50 AM)

It is less than 5 lines so post them in here. And you notice how all the joke threads posted here are usually 2 liners anyways.

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#5 Ya`

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Posted 22 June 2007 - 05:45 PM

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

i thought that was pretty sad

#6 fabrications.

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Posted 29 June 2007 - 02:51 PM

^Haha, yeah it is sad, but funny also.

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#7 GOOMBA

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Posted 30 June 2007 - 05:07 PM

QUOTE(Ya` @ Jun 22 2007, 06:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

i thought that was pretty sad

I've gotta admit, that's pretty funny.

#8 Saebin :D

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Posted 02 July 2007 - 06:30 AM

QUOTE

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

i thought that was pretty sad

rofl good one

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#9 chocopocky

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Posted 13 July 2007 - 01:06 PM

Hahaha. The Santa one is so sad.

I know some..

QUOTE

1. Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
Cause he was caught with seaweed.

2. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem

3. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

#10 tomato=)

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Posted 26 July 2007 - 10:25 PM

Q:Why was the tomato blushing?
A:It saw the salad dressing

Q:What does the bee sit on?
A: It's BEE-HIND

Q:Why did the skeleton went to the movies by himself?
A:Because he had nobody to go with him

Q:What's the difference between criminals and mother in-laws?
A:Criminal are wanted

Q:What do you get with a fly, a pet, and a car
A:A flying cart pet

hahahha! me and my corny jokes! I SWEAR THEY WHERE FUNNY when i was really bored

#11 hachi_x3

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Posted 07 August 2007 - 01:13 PM

QUOTE(Ya` @ Jun 22 2007, 07:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

i thought that was pretty sad

XD..so messed up. Still funny.

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#12 jefnevwild

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Posted 25 August 2007 - 09:59 PM

It rained when NOAA/NWS employees held a sports meeting

Watch Out. My English Sucks.

-1

#13 VBkirby

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Posted 27 August 2007 - 01:08 PM

Here's one I made. It's the kind of crummy joke you'd find in a christmas cracker.

Q:What do summer temperatures and high schools have in common?
A:They both have high teens.

-1

#14 foosh

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Posted 19 September 2007 - 12:52 AM

I'm going to open a clothing store called CHASM. Its going to be like GAP but way bigger.

I use to compete in a lot of sports until I found out you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything.

If I owned a bookstore, I'd make the mystery section really hard to find.

Saying "I'm sorry" is the same as saying "I apologize" ... unless you are at a funeral.

#15 taebins_luver

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Posted 19 September 2007 - 11:42 PM

did you hear about the deaf guy?
cause he didn't either

did you see what happened to the blind guy?
neither did he

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#16 JayCy90

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Post icon Posted 03 October 2007 - 11:06 PM

---
*Break Into the House*

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had
broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.

"No, no,no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house
without waking my wife. I`ve been trying to do that for years!"

***********

*Lost Wife*

The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and
asked,"You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket.

Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why?" she asks.

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of
nowhere."

***********

*Teacher*

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the
sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet."Now then mister, why
do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing
up there all by yourself."

***********

*Hearing*

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set
of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor
said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you
can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit around
and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

***********

*Wedding*

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of
her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment,then said, " So, why is the
groom wearing black?"

***********

* Dream*

A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced enthusiastically
to her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for
Valentine's day! What do you think it means?"

With certainty in his voice, the man said, "You'll know tonight."

That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his
wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to
find a book entitled - " The meaning of Dreams".

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#17 Go.Omii

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Posted 04 October 2007 - 12:48 AM

QUOTE

---

* Dream*

A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced enthusiastically
to her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for
Valentine's day! What do you think it means?"

With certainty in his voice, the man said, "You'll know tonight."

That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his
wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to
find a book entitled - " The meaning of Dreams".

men....

so slow!! aishhhh

LOLLLLLL

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#18 jessecue

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Posted 04 October 2007 - 01:29 AM

LOL i agree...men just don't understand anything LOL
btw...can someone plz explain the hearing one?? i dun get it :S

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#19 xkrn4lyfx

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Posted 04 October 2007 - 10:02 AM

LOL

"then why is the groom wearing black?" LOLOL

o yeah and to the poster above me, it's because if you don't think someone is listening or can't listen, u talk how u really feel about them, so the old man listens to his family talking good or bad about him and keeps changing his will because they turn out to be assholes or good