[chinese tears <3]

hey ladies,
my self confidence is pretty low, and i'm dating a really beautiful girl (not to brag haha), which means i'm always paranoid/worried that guys are constantly flirting with her when i'm not around (even though they're not). lately, it's been KILLING me that when guys approach her, it sets off up my jealousy mood and i'd get moody -___-; i'm not really a selfish person because she would sacrifice anything for me, so i didn't say anything about being jealous. what should i do to end this paranoia? do you think i should really tell her how i feel or would that backfire (making me sound selfish and demanding). it's not like i don't want to trust her.. i've been cheated on 3 times in the past, so i'm not ready to give her my whole heart yet..

You should talk to your girlfriend about it. I think girls should be understanding enough of how you feel. At least I wouldn't just break up with my boyfriend because he has trust issues; I would show him that I'm different. It works both ways I think. If she really cares about you, she'll slowly show you that you can trust her.

[maharu.]

hey ladies,
my self confidence is pretty low, and i'm dating a really beautiful girl (not to brag haha), which means i'm always paranoid/worried that guys are constantly flirting with her when i'm not around (even though they're not). lately, it's been KILLING me that when guys approach her, it sets off up my jealousy mood and i'd get moody -___-; i'm not really a selfish person because she would sacrifice anything for me, so i didn't say anything about being jealous. what should i do to end this paranoia? do you think i should really tell her how i feel or would that backfire (making me sound selfish and demanding). it's not like i don't want to trust her.. i've been cheated on 3 times in the past, so i'm not ready to give her my whole heart yet..

well she's gorgeous and you got her so it means something right =]?
But aww cheated that many times? No wonder you're scared...just tell her that you have some issues in the past that makes you worry about her a lot.
Just don't tie her down..like take away her freedom because you're paranoid over the fact that your gf may flirt with others.
If she loves you, cares for you, and knows that you won't lie to her...I think she wouldn't do anything to hurt you and she'll understand that the past is still dragging you.

I wouldn't be upset because you weren't the one cheating but it was the girl's fault.
So I don't think your gf would be mad...if she does, thats her problem of not being able to accept people's trauma's in their past.

Well to break it...I guess make a deal between you guys on how to deal with this past of yours? The power of love can solve some problems^^

[&gravity.]

hey ladies,
my self confidence is pretty low, and i'm dating a really beautiful girl (not to brag haha), which means i'm always paranoid/worried that guys are constantly flirting with her when i'm not around (even though they're not). lately, it's been KILLING me that when guys approach her, it sets off up my jealousy mood and i'd get moody -___-; i'm not really a selfish person because she would sacrifice anything for me, so i didn't say anything about being jealous. what should i do to end this paranoia? do you think i should really tell her how i feel or would that backfire (making me sound selfish and demanding). it's not like i don't want to trust her.. i've been cheated on 3 times in the past, so i'm not ready to give her my whole heart yet..

You should start with being more confident in yourself. Yes, you've been cheated on many times, but just because of that you shouldn't treat your girlfriend this way. Trust and love are the foundation in a relationship. Being paranoid when a man approach your girlfriend is natural. You say the man are flirting with her, is she flirting back? Is she approaching these men? If she's not, what is it that you're worrying about? You have to be willing to take risks in a relationship -- even if the ending doesn't always go as planned. You took the risk, you experienced it, you move on. Life is too short for anyone to always dwell on the past and be cautious like that. You want to protect yourself, everyone does. But why always live in fear all the time? Risks are worth taking -- they make you stronger. I hope this helps, because I've been through it and this is what I got out of it.

[humanbox]

So there's this girl I'm friends with.
She's great and we're close friends. I admit, when I was first her friend, I kind of liked her. but as I got closer with her, I discovered a lot of reasons why she's not ready to be in a relationship or even dating (she told me herself). I accepted that and my heart moved on. I knew we weren't going to be an item. My interest wasn't very extravagant either, so it was quick and easy.

Right now, I appreciate my friendship with her a lot (without any intent). She's a great person to talk with, we can IM for hours until 4-5am at night... sometimes everynight. She's someone I can talk with on a different level than anyone else. Our different perspective on things and her deep analysis of the topics we talk about is truly an amazing experience.

After we became closer to the point where I can tell her everything, I told her that I was interested in her when we first met. She wasn't surprised because she gets that a lot. The reason why I told her is not because I wanted to make something happen, it's because I moved on that I was comfortable telling her that. I often share my true feelings with her a lot because she can listen. She tells me I'm a good listener too.

I'm happy where we stand now. Our friendship means a lot to me. I think she feels the same with me. Although she tells me that she's afraid of getting too close. That's because she thinks all friendships are temporary, plus she moved a lot when she was little... So I think she's afraid of getting too close and lead to another heart break again.

I truly appreciate where we're at and I don't think going beyond that is the best option. we don't have a lot of the same interests, though I try everything she sends me and I like them a lot.

So this leads to my question;
we're in a project together. She is basically the leader of the project, and as she discussed the situation, I looked into her eyes while she was talking. (I do it whenever someone talks, I think it shows respect and it's a sign of me actually listening)

I don't know why, but she suddenly stopped and told me to stop starring.
What's going on?

I've actually gotten the same line from a coworker who i met for 2 hours. She was asking me whether her hair looked better up or down. I forgot what i said but she told me to stop starring. I guess she was embarrased. I looked into her eyes too. but this was 2 yrs ago.

so back to the current situation... does this mean she's just embarrased (although she's pretty with excellent skin and body), or could this mean she has some feelings?

[Orchidy]

^^ She is just embarrassed. ^^

I don't think that would be enough to judge whether she likes you.

Best way, ask her ^^

[kimiye-chan]

There's more to it then just her saying" Stop starring". You have to see the outside figures too. For example, did she fidget under your gaze? Was she blushing? Did she say anything afterwards or did you have to start the conversation?

You have to look outside the box and look for more things, she may just be embarassed, but she may also be realizing what a great guy you are to her and start seeing you as more of a friend.

[pooface]

humanbox: ur friend sounds like a someone with a great personality! .. like she cares about herself... which is a good thing! did u use to stare at her the same way? .. if she suddenly became like this.. it could be she is feeling awkward bcoz u stare at her too much or shes afraid she will fall for u.. i mean if she is not talking differently .. then it should be she is just embarrased of u starring at her .. try not to stare at her too much.. u mite feel its polite.. but sometime it can feel awkward.. coz she prob be thinking, wot are u thinking when ur starring at her..

[xsilentangel]

i just experienced a VERY scary event where a car pulled up.. and i feel really paranoid..

any advice.. or anything.. plz PM me >_>

[Xiaoba1tu]

@ human box: yeah did she say 'stop staring' in a stern way or was it in a embarrassed kind of way..?? If its the latter then that's alright.. she probably likes you too ^^

[Kiribati]

Why does a girl flirt and do all that stuff (hug, cuddle, get close to the other) a week after she says, "Let's just be friends, I don't really have those feelings for you anymore" ?

[angelxglo]

Why does a girl flirt and do all that stuff (hug, cuddle, get close to the other) a week after she says, "Let's just be friends, I don't really have those feelings for you anymore" ?

i find that when guys wanna believe that there is something, that even the littlest thing make them believe that there is a possibility.
in yur case, hugging, cuddling does sound a little over the line, but i guess the girl was lonely?
she might want a bf so she does things to make herself like a guy?
maybe she really want to like yu but in the end see that its not working?
or maybe she's a skank.
who noes.
i've never met a girl like her, but if i was yu, i'd stay away from her if yu want yur heart attached and well.
good luck figuring her out.

[Kiribati]

i find that when guys wanna believe that there is something, that even the littlest thing make them believe that there is a possibility.
in yur case, hugging, cuddling does sound a little over the line, but i guess the girl was lonely?
she might want a bf so she does things to make herself like a guy?
maybe she really want to like yu but in the end see that its not working?
or maybe she's a skank.
who noes.
i've never met a girl like her, but if i was yu, i'd stay away from her if yu want yur heart attached and well.
good luck figuring her out.

Yea, it's quite over the line actually. I'm a bit (exaggeration) more mature than she is, and because she's my first love, I'm hanging around. And because I'm more mature, whenever she asks me for a favor, I'll go through with it. And in this case, she wants to be friends. And it's REALLY hard when she's doing this.

Thanks for the answer.

Well I don't know if this thread is for simple questions and/or indepth questions, but I'll delve a bit into my problem anyways. Some more info is, apparently she still really likes me, and although I don't know what kind of "like" it is, I'm assuming as in "still thinking about you everyday" or the feelings one feels when they're crushing over someone. And that only confuses me even more, because

(1) how can a girl really really like someone and still not want to be in a relationship?
(2) Can certain girls really feel like they should be single, and still really really like someone?

Sorry, reading my own questions really make me feel either shallow or inexperienced. Heh -__-

[Antz]

Yea, it's quite over the line actually. I'm a bit (exaggeration) more mature than she is, and because she's my first love, I'm hanging around. And because I'm more mature, whenever she asks me for a favor, I'll go through with it. And in this case, she wants to be friends. And it's REALLY hard when she's doing this.

Thanks for the answer.

Well I don't know if this thread is for simple questions and/or indepth questions, but I'll delve a bit into my problem anyways. Some more info is, apparently she still really likes me, and although I don't know what kind of "like" it is, I'm assuming as in "still thinking about you everyday" or the feelings one feels when they're crushing over someone. And that only confuses me even more, because

(1) how can a girl really really like someone and still not want to be in a relationship?
(2) Can certain girls really feel like they should be single, and still really really like someone?

Sorry, reading my own questions really make me feel either shallow or inexperienced. Heh -__-

yes, and yes. well, for me at least, haha.

i guess the first question... i'm the type of person that is scared of a committment, and scared of hurting the other person. but this year, i learnt how to take chances.

the second question, ummm. well, yeah, the same as what i just said. before i got into my current relationship, i loved being single. i honestly loved flirting with guys and getting away with it, haha. i wouldn't have to worry about another person. and i still really, really liked someone.

truthfully, i can't generalise every girl, but those situations i tried to apply to me, so yeah. hope it helps in some way. =)

[chocolate*]

Yea, it's quite over the line actually. I'm a bit (exaggeration) more mature than she is, and because she's my first love, I'm hanging around. And because I'm more mature, whenever she asks me for a favor, I'll go through with it. And in this case, she wants to be friends. And it's REALLY hard when she's doing this.

Thanks for the answer.

Well I don't know if this thread is for simple questions and/or indepth questions, but I'll delve a bit into my problem anyways. Some more info is, apparently she still really likes me, and although I don't know what kind of "like" it is, I'm assuming as in "still thinking about you everyday" or the feelings one feels when they're crushing over someone. And that only confuses me even more, because

(1) how can a girl really really like someone and still not want to be in a relationship?
(2) Can certain girls really feel like they should be single, and still really really like someone?

Sorry, reading my own questions really make me feel either shallow or inexperienced. Heh -__-

Yes and Yes to both questions. Obviously it depends on the situation, but it can happen, so I'll answer from my perspective. Girls tend to think too much and over analyze everything.. so (1) can happen if she thinks there's going to be a problem and it's just easier to not get into the relationship for it to turn messy. (2) is like... liking someone as in eye candy, but don't want the commitment part of the deal right now.

Honestly, don't push it. When the time is right for her she'll get into the relationship with you. Don't push her into one though or it'll turn ugly D: !!

[Sapphire852]

ok, a 2 part question,

1) when a guy asks you out to lunch/dinner (one to one)....

2) when a guy purchases a small gift for you on your bday (there's no bday party or w/e)...

would u girls think that the guy likes you?

[vietbabi]

^^^ it depends. i mean if the two of you are friends and close than i wouldn't think so but if he's just someone that you met a couple of times than yes. I would say yes to number 1 more so than number 2 b/c i've gotten gifts from guys who didn't like me before.

[uberzero]

First the situation...
Okay i work at a Safeway Starbucks and there's this cashier girl [We'll call her GirlA]. She walks by the SB booth smiling at me occassionally. Just recently, GirlA started talking to me and added me on FB & MSN. We've been talking quite a bit about school [we go to the same school but she's one year younger] and friends and what nots. One day, I've relentlessly asked her what she would like for Christmas and she replied " I want BOY.A <--[one of my coworkers...]. " This kind of stunned me because she's been complaining to me that my coworker doesn't TALK to her. The day after, she brought one of her friend over and sat down checking out BOY.A's brother and me for like...40 minutes talking about who looks better [which really bugs me]. On Christmas Eve she told me that she likes BOY.A and BOY.A's brother because they are pretty....

Some background info about me... I'm about average looking...im rather quiet...every girl says that im a gentleman...I have a nack for buying girl's things ie. buying GirlA drinks

So my question is...
-Are the new generation of girls looking for guys with looks and disregarding personality? Or does it only pertain to girls who have little experience with love [ie. girls that haven't been slammed by the dark side of love.]?

[daldonge]

how will u react if a guy, who accidently touched ur butt? ..like his hand accidently touched it.. he didnt do it on purpose and u know it was unintentional.. he then apologised..

would u slap him and create a scene?

or just accept the apology? .. and say 'its okay' ..

or just forget about it..

[chocolate*]

First the situation...
Okay i work at a Safeway Starbucks and there's this cashier girl [We'll call her GirlA]. She walks by the SB booth smiling at me occassionally. Just recently, GirlA started talking to me and added me on FB & MSN. We've been talking quite a bit about school [we go to the same school but she's one year younger] and friends and what nots. One day, I've relentlessly asked her what she would like for Christmas and she replied " I want BOY.A <--[one of my coworkers...]. " This kind of stunned me because she's been complaining to me that my coworker doesn't TALK to her. The day after, she brought one of her friend over and sat down checking out BOY.A's brother and me for like...40 minutes talking about who looks better [which really bugs me]. On Christmas Eve she told me that she likes BOY.A and BOY.A's brother because they are pretty....

Some background info about me... I'm about average looking...im rather quiet...every girl says that im a gentleman...I have a nack for buying girl's things ie. buying GirlA drinks

So my question is...
-Are the new generation of girls looking for guys with looks and disregarding personality? Or does it only pertain to girls who have little experience with love [ie. girls that haven't been slammed by the dark side of love.]?

Are you interested in Girl A?? How old are you??
If you are interested in Girl A... would you want that type of girl to be your girlfriend?

The younger generation seems to live in the moment and think they'll be with that person forever and ever.
But as you get older, different things take a priority when you're looking for a significant other..

how will u react if a guy, who accidently touched ur butt? ..like his hand accidently touched it.. he didnt do it on purpose and u know it was unintentional.. he then apologised..

would u slap him and create a scene?

or just accept the apology? .. and say 'its okay' ..

or just forget about it..

Depends if I know him or not.
If it's a friend, I'll know it was by accident and then forget about it.
If it's someone you just met / someone you don't know, I'll think he's a creeper and avoid him like the plague!

[uberzero]

Are you interested in Girl A?? How old are you??
If you are interested in Girl A... would you want that type of girl to be your girlfriend?

The younger generation seems to live in the moment and think they'll be with that person forever and ever.
But as you get older, different things take a priority when you're looking for a significant other..

No, I have a girlfriend actually. Im just rather appalled by what some young girls think. I'm 16 and she's 15. I guess she'll learn in due time...

thank you for your POV ^__^