QUOTE (mz simmonz @ Jul 22 2008, 12:01 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm a girl and this is a friendship type of question. I didn't feel like making my own thread since all my fellow ladies' opinions are right here anyway 
Long story short, had a crush on this guy last year, he was sort of interested but not interested enough. BUT he and my friend (who at the time I considered one of my closest girl friends) clicked instantly and it was obvious he was infatuated with her. She kept insisting she didn't care about him but I felt something there. Soon after (VERY SOON..as in I still didnt get over him yet soon) they started going out. She wanted to have her cake and eat it too (keep him yet keep our friendship the same) It killed my self esteem. I distanced myself from her and in turn, a lot of our mutual friends saw her in a negative light and drifted away from her too (she hung out with her boyfriend 24/7 anyway). It's been a year since then and somehow me and her started talking and hanging out again. I'm over the guy obviously but a part of me still feels sad thinking of how she chose a guy (my crush no less) over me. But the resentment is no longer there. I realized I missed hanging out with her and out of all my girl friends, she's actually the one I have the best times with and mesh with the most. I'm not naive to think she's 100% trustworthy but I do want for us to become part of each other's lives again..slowly but it's awkward now because a good number of our core friends still feel disdain towards her and even tell me straight out that they think its extremely weird that I can even consider mending such a torn friendship with her. They think I'm being too nice and naive and that she's "crawling back" because she misses having true friends and his tired of just hanging out with her bf's friends. Gahhh I don't know what to believe..is she being a social climber? or are my friends are being too cynical? I'm not the best judge of character, I will admit that. This year has been dull and strange for me..like something was missing and I think a large part of it has to deal with our drifting apart. ladiesss (and if some gents would like to answer? haha) help!
Long story short, had a crush on this guy last year, he was sort of interested but not interested enough. BUT he and my friend (who at the time I considered one of my closest girl friends) clicked instantly and it was obvious he was infatuated with her. She kept insisting she didn't care about him but I felt something there. Soon after (VERY SOON..as in I still didnt get over him yet soon) they started going out. She wanted to have her cake and eat it too (keep him yet keep our friendship the same) It killed my self esteem. I distanced myself from her and in turn, a lot of our mutual friends saw her in a negative light and drifted away from her too (she hung out with her boyfriend 24/7 anyway). It's been a year since then and somehow me and her started talking and hanging out again. I'm over the guy obviously but a part of me still feels sad thinking of how she chose a guy (my crush no less) over me. But the resentment is no longer there. I realized I missed hanging out with her and out of all my girl friends, she's actually the one I have the best times with and mesh with the most. I'm not naive to think she's 100% trustworthy but I do want for us to become part of each other's lives again..slowly but it's awkward now because a good number of our core friends still feel disdain towards her and even tell me straight out that they think its extremely weird that I can even consider mending such a torn friendship with her. They think I'm being too nice and naive and that she's "crawling back" because she misses having true friends and his tired of just hanging out with her bf's friends. Gahhh I don't know what to believe..is she being a social climber? or are my friends are being too cynical? I'm not the best judge of character, I will admit that. This year has been dull and strange for me..like something was missing and I think a large part of it has to deal with our drifting apart. ladiesss (and if some gents would like to answer? haha) help!
sorry about the double post. i don't know how to put two different quotes together in one post, if you have any idea how it'd be nice if you could pm me and tell me.
anyway, ive had that friend. we went through something like that. she was the one that took the crush away and well we didn't stop talking because of that but as we grew up our views on things drifted apart and so did we. we would talk less and less and now not at all. and i think it's best this way because i really can't stand her but i still look at her as a friend. ive moved on, we both have different lives now and no im not sad at all about it, she wasn't a good friend anyway. but i don't hate her because well all those reasons why i didn't like her all don't matter anymore. but at that time when she 'crawled back' to me, yea i took her in, and no i wasn't naive about it and didn't give her my 100%trust, but she somehow disappointed me again by the way she acts. NOTE**she doesn't necessarily have to do something to ME for me to dislike her. it's how she treats other people as well and how i KNOW all about her dirty secrets. so i cut her off, but this was LONG time ago. but anyway, you just do whatever you feel what's comfortable with you, talking to her about it really won't change much at all but just keep in mind you'll be fine without that 'friend' of yours.
. NICE IS NOT WEAK OR BORING. 
well the "nice guys" i know are usually the boring types...
