[matango88]

you know how most asians care for their elderly and let the grandparents stay with them? what if your asian and your husband is white and he doesnt approve of this ? because most non asians send there parents off to care homes and dont visit them much.

[GOOMBA]

then he's in for a divorce.
i'm sorry but i`m not leaving my mom in an old folks home...........
if anything i`d either buy her her own house
or let her live in the basement where i can take care of her
cuz my mom has no one else but me

not like i`d ever marry a white guy anyway
that goes for any guy i marry -__-;

[JJM]

I know that I will care for my mom, so the man I marry will have to understand this and be accepting of it. At least, for the most part. I care for my mom now the best I can. Yet, I know that mom prefers to stay with my brothers b/c that's our tradition. My bf doesn't mind that I take care of my mom. He's Korean, but adopted into a white family. He's a white man trapped in an Asian man's body.

[hippiehop]

my dad has nothing against my grandma staying with us. she did live with us for a while.

(my dad is white in case you guys are like wtf?)

[blue_shoe]

some non-asian like whites care for their parents.

I myself is asian, and my parents and my husband parents will be taken care of. If my husband do not understand this, he is getting a divorce.

[WitchGoddess]

well mostly in those cultures the boy is the one who takes care of his parents when they are old.
But I would take care of mine regardless.

[joogrlpekaun]

Some men might resent it, but it's not a sure thing. Not all white people send their parents off to nursing homes like that. Well, I'm white (meaning both my parents are too) and my parents never sent their parents anywhere. We even all moved in with my mother's mother for a year because she had surgery and needed people to care for her. My dad was very understanding and agreed to move.

The thing is, though, that there really is a different attitude about living with parents...It's something a lot of people will do temporarily, but a white American man (or woman!) might be a little uncomfortable with the idea of living with your parents for years and years. It's not something that common. You keep in contact with your parents, you care for them when they need it, you visit, but bringing them home with you is a little unusual unless your parents are in really bad shape.

In the end, it really depends on the spouse. Attitudes differ greatly. Don't assume anything, because you might be totally wrong; you have to take it up with the person you want to be with.

[Honey_Babee]

then he's in for a divorce.
i'm sorry but i`m not leaving my mom in an old folks home...........
if anything i`d either buy her her own house
or let her live in the basement where i can take care of her
cuz my mom has no one else but me

not like i`d ever marry a white guy anyway
that goes for any guy i marry -__-;

ditto..

i dun think most non-asians dont care for their parents when they get old.

>.>

but i would never ever leave my parents. and if he dun like it.. well too bad for him.

[Swtess]

Traditionally, my brothers would be the one taking care but if they're doing a crappy job, I'm taking over.
I know for a fact that I will be living and taking care of the in-laws.
I don't mind, as long as they're not overly unreasonable.

[babieblue545]

Of course...

The best I can do for them is take care of them in return. Sixteen and more years of taking care of me is a lot of work (not to mention many previous years of looking after my older siblings).

I don't like the idea of old folks homes, anyway. Maybe it's because I grew up with the idea that parents were supposed to be in their homes or living with their sons or daughters.

[lilatlbabishorti]

..hmm for one thing i doubt i marry a white dude BUT...if i "do" n he doesnt approve..its a dvorce straight up T_T i may hate my parents now but i still would care for them no matter wat!! they use up thei time to take care of me T_T i must return the favor till the day i die!! =-=V

[LucasBunny]

What does ethnicity have to do with anything??

I mean...really
anybody can neglect there elderly parents whether it's
asians marrying asians or asians marrying non asians.

[sushiwhore]

yah o_o just because i'll marry someone of a diff race doesn't mean i will abandon my heritage and culture

[kOoHII]

What does ethnicity have to do with anything??

I mean...really
anybody can neglect there elderly parents whether it's
asians marrying asians or asians marrying non asians.

ethnicity has to do with everything (in general). whites tend to have a different definition of "caring for the elders" and showing respect than asians. whites believe that leaving their parents at a foster home is still showing care and in a way respecting their parents (since foster homes after all are quite costly). asians on the other hand do not believe in throwing money at one's parents but instead...doing the work yourself (even if it means parents living with you for the long term). of course...i'm speaking GENERALLY (and of course there are exceptions).

this is one of the reasons why i will likely not marry a white guy...i will make sure whoever i marry knows that taking care of mine or his parents will be a priority

[Mimi_182]

i not likely to married a white guy
let say if i did and he disagree about me let my
parent stay with me then i beat the mini cooper outta him then divore
becus who he think he is
i love my parent and i promsie them i take care of them
and i don't break my promise
anway i take half his money lol n if he don't then i don't care
not liike i need him becus i prmoise myself before i get married
that i am succeed n own my business
(i promsie that becusi see wife getting dump by there husband
n beg and mini cooper john tesh that ..n i hear lot of woman needin man )

[ooo_it's_mE]

you know how most asians care for their elderly and let the grandparents stay with them? what if your asian and your husband is white and he doesnt approve of this ? because most non asians send there parents off to care homes and dont visit them much.

wow. just wow.
after skimming through most of these posts, I'm obviously the only one (besides Ashley) who sees how terrible this post is. how the hell does race play ANY part on whether or not the elderly should be sent off to a retirement home?

[LucasBunny]

ethnicity has to do with everything (in general). whites tend to have a different definition of "caring for the elders" and showing respect than asians. whites believe that leaving their parents at a foster home is still showing care and in a way respecting their parents (since foster homes after all are quite costly). asians on the other hand do not believe in throwing money at one's parents but instead...doing the work yourself (even if it means parents living with you for the long term). of course...i'm speaking GENERALLY (and of course there are exceptions).

this is one of the reasons why i will likely not marry a white guy...i will make sure whoever i marry knows that taking care of mine or his parents will be a priority

What??

I'm sorry this post is just unbelievable
can you tell me how many white people you know
taht want there parents put in a elderly home??

And what people need to realize is that
some elderly people want to go to retirement homes because
they feel at peace there.
If my mom got older and that was her wish I would grant it


White people just don't say
"Lets throw this old hag in the old people's palace"
that is just stupid to assume I am sorry.
And what's even worse is that you said "In general"

and just because u marry an asian man that doesnt mean that
they will not want to put the parents in a retirement home.

wow. just wow.
after skimming through most of these posts, I'm obviously the only one (besides Ashley) who sees how terrible this post is. how the hell does race play ANY part on whether or not the elderly should be sent off to a retirement home?

Thank u

[Saeko]

Some people are being pretty disrespectful towards white people here.


A lot of elderly people just have their own house & their children come visit them &/or talk on the phone.
We don't send them to retirement homes because we "don't care" about them...in fact its the opposite reason!
usually they go live in a retirement home because they need that extra looking after for whatever reason.
Personally i wouldn't send my parents to a retirement home(unless they REALLY wanted to lol).
(I'm talking about white people here btw.)

[ViEt_AnGeL]

Then I don't think we fit for each other.... i'm not gonna send my parent to some old folk house... i want to take care of them.. it's the least i can do with them bringing me up and all.. if the least.. i would buy them a house or so... i mean.. i got a sister too.. but a lil sister.. n i don't think.. i'll be able to relax with my parent in her hand.. so yeh..

[kOoHII]

What??

I'm sorry this post is just unbelievable
can you tell me how many white people you know
taht want there parents put in a elderly home??

And what people need to realize is that
some elderly people want to go to retirement homes because
they feel at peace there.
If my mom got older and that was her wish I would grant it
White people just don't say
"Lets throw this old hag in the old people's palace"
that is just stupid to assume I am sorry.
And what's even worse is that you said "In general"

and just because u marry an asian man that doesnt mean that
they will not want to put the parents in a retirement home.
Thank u

i think you're being waaaaaaaaay to defenive here.

1. if one's parents want to be in an elderly home, fine. but here's where ethnicity (again emhasizing in general) comes into play. more traditional asian parents prefer to be taken care of by their kids. just looking at the stats, there are much more white elders in foster homes. now whether they chose to be there is another story. i'm not saying that white people say "let's throw the old hag anywhere", and i did not state anywhere that it's wrong to put elders in a foster home. some children believe that their parents can be better taken care of in a foster home...and again generally speaking, there are more whites than asians who take this point of view (i'm trying to be very sensitive here in what i say...so side note: once again emphasizing that i'm not making a comment about whether one sort of way of showing care is better than the other...i just personally prefer the traditional asian one).

2. why is it worse by saying "in general"? you cannot deny that generally speaking, asians express their care for the elders by living with them. yes, some whites also hold this view but it is more difficult to find someone with such traditional views because culturally and historically, you move out once you're married.

3. i understand that just because you marry an asian man doesn't mean that he won't put the parents in a retirement home...but this is why i stress the words "in general"...and this is why i stated that i will ensure that my husband knows my value and definition of "taking care of the elders". statistically however, it will be easier for me to find someone who has the same values and definition as me if he is asian. BUT, who knows what the future brings