[RawrDesu]

20 Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Women

No Offense to Womens!

1- Dogs don't shop.
2- Dogs never expect gifts.
3- Dogs love it when your friends come over.
4- Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
5- The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
6- Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
7- Dogs don't notice if you call them by other names.
8- Dogs never want foot rubs.
9- Dogs are excited by rough play.
10- Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
11- It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
12- Dogs never need to examine a relationship.
13- Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
14- A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
15- A dog's parents never drop in to visit.
16- Dogs love long car rides.
17- Dogs understand that instincts are better than stopping for directions.
18- Dogs like beer.
19- No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
20- Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.


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The Perfect Woman

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and made me miserable as often as she made me happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am now 40, and am looking for a woman with very big breasts.


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The Price of Marriage

William and Mildred were married for 25 years. They decided to celebrate with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. William brushed her off rather rudely. Mildred objected, "William, she was nice, that young woman, and you were so rude."

"Mildred, she's a prostitute."

"I don't believe you. That sweet, young thing?

"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it." In their room, William called down to the desk and asked for Candie to come to room 1217.

"Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, okay?" She did. Soon, there was a knock on the door. William opened it and Candie walked in, swirling her hips provocatively.

"So, I see you're interested after all," she said.

William asked, "How much do you charge?"

"$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services."

William was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25."

Candie laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."

"Well," said William, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye." After she left, Mildred came out of the bathroom. "I just can't believe it."

William said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner."

At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Candie came up behind William, pointed slyly at Mildred, and said, "See what you get for $25?"

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16 Things That Took Me 50 Years To Learn

1- You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.

2- You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

3- The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

4- The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

5- There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

6- There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

7- People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

8- If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

9- The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

10- If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

11- You should not confuse your career with your life.

12- A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

13- No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

14- When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

15- Your friends love you, anyway.

16- Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

[ChiPs aHoAii]

10- If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

HHAHAHA , that`s funny .. xD
Soo true too ..
most of the things on TV these days are false advertisements. x_X;

[aya_Cute]

so i must chose dog then women....
haha i hope every women can doing like dog
LOL

[lovablekrnstar63]

i really like the second one..
good joke