[aznscrewball]

I don't know whats wrong me. I want to make friends, but being in a university with very little asians...i'm not really in my comfort zone.
I come from a school where the main population is asian, and I hardly interact with others.
I feel like im not connecting to my roommates well because I am always afraid to say something wrong and they'll think im weird.
its hard to let your guard down when you are not familiar with your surroundings and people
my roommates ( i live in a triple room) are nice, but they seem a little distant...or maybe theyre distant because i am?

i never know what to say when theres a big group making introductions and just chilling and talking.
does it seem really weird if i just sit there and listen to people talk and just say a couple of words every once in a while?
i'm not a drinker or a partier, but they seem to be always drunk or off to parties in other rooms.
im not a party person, im more mellow then that...

i want to talk more and be more talkative but i can never seem to find the right thing to say until like minutes later when the conversation has already moved on...so i never end up saying anything...

i dunno maybe i'm saying this because im homesick...

i'm just not used to the constant parties every night and loud talking and music...

am i just weird?

cuz i really havent had to make new friends from scratch since i was 9...my friends have been my friends since then...or i always rely on those friends to make new friends...and i become their friends...

anyone have any tips?
.......i miss home........

[angelqian]

I know what you mean, haha, maybe just find the Asians on campus and hang out with them? There should still be a few of them and that should be enough? White people aren't that hard to get along with, they're a lot of nice people but I just choose not to hang around them.

[dogs7268]

i know the feeling too.. i live in a student suite where people just go in and out of the building without trying to really get to know eachother... i kept myself busy the first few days by buying stuff at wal-mart and checking out new places.

that's funny how you mentioned how you think up of stuff to say later on after the conversation is actually done..same here! just remember though, don't let others judge you just by what you say.. what you say is what makes you who you are, so don't be afraid

i hung out with these bunch of guys from my school who went to the beach, and it was pretty chill cuz i didn't really know them except for my one friend who moved to the same college as me. just open yourself up, i know its hard cuz we choose (i hate drinking too) not to drink and party, but you'll meet people

[carebear]

in my opinion the best and easiest way to meet the most people on campus is by joining and becoming active in student organizations

[kreeble]

your mindset is in the completely wrong place when socializing.

your thoughts are composed of these: what do these people think of me? do they think I'm weird? is what I want to say interesting enough? what if I talk and no one listens and they ignore me and I feel like a loser? do they want me to leave?

the one thing in common these thoughts have is that they ALL concern only YOU. you can think of this as a very selfish way of thinking.

change your mindset from being centered on yourself to thinking about the people you are talking to and the topic at hand. be curious and interested in the other person, not on yourself. you'll find that spontaneous thoughts and keeping up with the flow of the conversation are easier once you change your mindset.

in a group situation where there's a lot of people standing around, introduce yourself to people around you. it doesn't matter who it is; start with the most approachable group of people.

i think you need to shed a little bit of fear of talking to randoms. next time you go to a starbucks, market, anywhere with people working, smile say hi and ask how's it going. if the person says anything more, then comment on whatever he/she happens to talk about. do this over and over and over again until talking to randoms feels normal for you. keep in mind that this is a completely normal social interaction and they will not think you're weird or anything.

oh, and if you feel awkward when standing around talking to people, get a book on body language. learn the closed body positions (such as arms crossed) and the open positions (legs uncrossed shoulders untense arms relaxed) and do only open body positions. having open body language will help you feel more relaxed, friendly, and you will not feel as awkward when standing around talking.

cheers

[Da Xing Di]

well, as i did it: first of all, don't get all stressed about them loving you... for me it was like: i do have tons of friends, so i cannot be that bad, and even if these few people here won't like me, i'm not alone. this is how i started to not stress on being total best-friendy with everyone.
if you already relaxed, just start the small chit-chats with people sitting next to you in some classes, like when you are there, but the prof is nowhere yet, comment to the side, anything will do, if they are not weirdos, they will answer...or after class.
then you already have a few on mind to say hi on the corridors, or you can go up to them with small questions...and when you do so, they will be probably with others, so you may get to know those too, and then those friends and the list goes on until you have to say hi to almost everybody, lol (which can be fun, but sometimes to tiring)
hope it helped.

[ChunJin]

I agree with kreeble. Don't be cliqueish. I have friends of all races, colors, gender etc.

[Melitus]

YO!!! shy girls has it much easiyer then shy guys, just dress up pretty and wear something unique...sooner or later you will atttract someone hahah. If you're a pretty girl guys will begin talking to you....

[oceansportrait]

Yeah, if you live on campus, then you already have a couple of people you know to get you started (your roommates), but if you live off-campus, then you'll have to join clubs, get involved in school. In my first year of university I probably only got to know 2-3 people. Sad, I know, but I think it's an improvement considering I only ever hung out with ONE person in all my high school years (and she went to UBC...). I found it really difficult to talk to the people around me because in a lot of my classes the people who sat next to me were all considerably older than I was (like in my first-year English class...it's weird, there were hardly any first years. I think it was a bunch of second and third year people who were finally taking the course to fulfill their BA requirements. And in my Linguistics class, alot of the people were 25+. Like the guy who sat next to me...he was 35+ with a kid!)

I'm planning to make the most out of this year though. I'm going to go during Club Week and see if there are any clubs I'm interested in joining, and volunteering at the local animal shelter XD

[itrayya]

it's okay not to talk.
it's not against the rules.

but you should just start little convos.
like... what's your favorite color?etc.

trust me.
im in my thrid year, i know how to get a convo started.
freshman year, that's all you do. start a talk.

but... you have to calm down your homesickness first.
you cant have a good day if you're always down and sad.

gosh, sometimes i just wisht that some soompi friends
go to my school so we can all hang out but...

there's lotts of people to help you here.

start like....

so... anything interesting happened today?
got homework to do? a lot?

etc. you'll be fine.
i wish you the best. get em'!

[Lebanese_Blonde]

you just have to be down for anything

[thesweetestkrn]

get of your comfort zone ...
you wont meet anyone if you dont
just socialize in you class
talk to the person next to you .. join in on conversations that have to with school or teachers you might have in common with someone else..
that's what i do
you end being friends, or you dont .. not the end of the world
if you get lucky by the end of the semester you'll have a new friend

[ddonq]

college is what you make of it.
talk to people who you sit beside in classes, stir up some random convos. and join many clubs at school.
gluck

[dabrain]

thaz something that cant be taught ...
u have this friend of mine who came from korea ...
but although she has been here for almost two years now
she doesnt have any german friend ...
just some koreans with whom she speaks in korean .... so her german is still kinda bad
i tried to help her ... like introducing her to my friends and stuff ...
but that didnt rele work out ...
u rele have to have the willing to change the situation
and do something eventhough u might get into uncomfortable situations

[Apl420]

my advice...

Drink LOTS of coffee!!! and candeh!
It'd make you all hyper, talkative and do crazy stuff. You'll unlock your true self~

I'm usually all shy and quiet around people I'm not familiar with to, but once i'm in the confort zone, I go weeee~~ XD
but another way for me is... get hyper!!! hahaha


be sure to really brush your teeth though. bad teeth is... bad. xD

[XtremeNuisance]

Hey! I'm like you! Freshman year (woot woot!)! Except, I'm African-American, not asian. I don't know about your campus, but my school has a lot of outreach type programs. Like the some racially centered associations or whatever. They even have different ones depending on your major. But the whole point of college is to to broaden your horizons; the world is pretty diverse and if you're going to actually work in it, you have to know how to handle people of other cultures/races. So... don't cower away just because someone isn't asian. If you go to my school, I'll be your friend! =D

[child2child]

in my opinion the best and easiest way to meet the most people on campus is by joining and becoming active in student organizations

took the words right out of my mouth.

[Lothringen]

Don't be afraid
talk when you're comfortable... because when you talk when you're uncomfortable people tend to say the wrong things...

Start small...
Start with a hi, hello... and when you feel that a person is warming up to you have little convos like where are you from? which school did you come from? and later on the conversation would just move along.

and orgs help too ... and it's fun XD

[dhillman]

i dont think you can teach someone how to socialize. it just requires some guts to start off and experience to keep it going.

[xkrn4lyfx]

in my opinion the best and easiest way to meet the most people on campus is by joining and becoming active in student organizations

that's very true, in groups u all have a common interest point already