[xtah_]

The Bar
This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity about the grotesque, watch as this man plummets to certain death. However, just as he is about to hit the ground, he rights himself, pulls his feet underneath himself, and lands gracefully. He then turns and comes back into the building. Naturally, the two men are amazed. The guy comes back into the bar, orders a few drinks, then repeats the process. The two men at the window seat are astounded! When the guy returns and repeats the procedure AGAIN, the two men stop him before he jumps and ask him how on earth he does that. He replies "It's simple, really. There's an air vent down by the ground, and if you catch the updraft, you can right yourself and land on the ground with no problems." Then he proceeded to jump out the window again. Well, these two men decided that they just HAD to try this, so they jumped out the window, and SPLAT! -- made a mess hitting all over the ground. Meanwhile, the first guy has made it back up to the bar. When he sits down to order his drinks, the bartender says "Superman, you can be a real jacka** when you're drunk!"

The diver
Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with a dive tank, flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem examination revealed that the person died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about determining how a fully-clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that, on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast - some 20 miles away from the forest. The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large buckets. The buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling, then flown to the forest fire and emptied. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing a breaststroke in a fire bucket 300 feet in the air. Apparently, he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire.

An Engineer in Hell
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

[muchacha]

I didn't get the last one lol.

&

THE FIRST ONE IS AWESOME!

[HikariJung]

Love the first one!!!

The last one is okay....... it's saying that lawyers are all bad so how is god going to find a lawyer lolz
Sad enough, my brother's a lawyer haha!!

[rave-andou]

I think the second one is actually true...well I think is was a guy swimming in a lake though

[mySUPER!]

i thought the second one was just really sad.

the first one was someone cute though. lol
superman, you jerk. xDD

and loll the last one. I actually understood it! O:
Funny, a LOT of my friends want to be lawyers. I should show them this. lmao

[strawberry_hit]

lol....the first one is evil....and second one is funny the third one is funny in typical way...don't know why laywer are not liked...thye are just doing their job..but it's funny...hahahah

[Clix]

I feel sorry for the diver in the second one.

1 and 3 were really amusing.

[onetwothuy]

Hahhaha, I love the first one.
Superman :3

[ChiPs aHoAii]

haha the first one is funny .. xD
i didn`t really get the second one .. o.o

[sweetxsimple]

The first one was the best!

[belle_kd1413]

i love the first one!


the 3rd one kicks!

[iya.donghae]

LOL at the last joke. Haha. Nice one.

The second and first one were also funny. xD

[jessecue]

i don't get the 2nd one...can someone plz explain?

[Cupcakee]

HAHA, Super man x]
Cutee

[chipmunkvoice]

hahahaha i like the superman one best lol jerk!

[lucky*13]

LOL the first one.. *jumps out the window.*
Just kidding. *IDIOT.*
I suppose all the lawyers went to hell for the 3rd one?
Is that what it means? Hell got better upgrades after the Engineer died. (:

[sulfuric_ACID]

hahah the last one...i like that one

[*.:AnGeL*BAbII:.*]

LOL at the 1st and last ones!! bbahahahaha drunk superman!
the 2nd one was kinda confusing.... the guy..was swimming? but ended up putting out fire..??
thanks for sharing =]

[Vino de Jerez]

i think all 3 are funny!! hahahha thanks for sharing!

[JFaith]

One of my classmates wanted to be a lawyer too. Well, it's pretty cool. My math teacher told our class the second joke before.