[D_K]

Here are a couple of my favorites:


Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.


Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

[ooo_it's_mE]

I pretty much like anything said by Homer!

[kayem7289]

"The Kwik-E-Mart is really...D'oh!"

Oh Homie, he's so funny, but I prefer his older quotes to the new ones.
They try waaaay too hard to make him sound funny nowadays.

From the start to 2000:
Peter Griffin < Homer Simpson

Presently:
Peter Griffin > Homer Simpson

[An9elDr3am3r]

I always like it when homer says D'oh!

[purexorange]

Lional (the laywer dude): There's the truth, then theres "the " truth.

lol.

SO much more but can't remember.
any thing from HOMER!

[hyeminnie]

me, i love his high pitched screams. 'AAH!'

and the one ep when spiders get on homer's face and he sprays his face with spider poison...
homer: 'what? spider poison is people poison?'
lol.

[&rea]

I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around the city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down'

- Homer Simpson

[Miss Bouakham]

lmao

keep them quotes coming

[daydreaming]

ralph: I'll iron you.

soo many homer quotes

[iiDivineii]

I was looking at a website about this a couple days ago.
Here are some funny ones.
---
Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
---
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
---
Bart: What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it.
---
Kent Brockman: Scientists say they're also less attractive physically and while we speak in a well-educated manner, they tend to use low-brow expressions like 'oh yeah?' and 'com'ere a minute.'
Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart! Com'ere a minute.
Bart: You com'ere a minute."
Homer: Oh yeah?
---
Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!
---
Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.





Alright that's enough. lol.

[ooo_it's_mE]

I was looking at a website about this a couple days ago.
Here are some funny ones.
---
Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
---

that was always one of my favorite moments!

[Johnny Y]

LOL, these quotes are classic. There's one I can't get out of my head right now.

Marge: How did the pig tracks get on the ceiling?
Homer:
Spider Pig, Spider Pig,
Does whatever a Spider Pig does,
Can he swing? From a Web?
No he can't, he's a pig.
Look ouuuut,
He is a Spider Pig

[the7REAL.]

Ooh, when I used to watch this show when I was little..my favorite has always been...

"D'oh!"

and...

Bart: "¡Ay, caramba!" <--I said this out loud in front of my grandmother one time when I was little and she totally got mad at me like, "HEY DON'T SAY THAT! That's a bad word!"

...lol..yeah, well I was a kid, I didn't know what it meant. xD


ooh, I just thought of more...wow flashbacks..

"Don't Have a Cow, Man!" + "Eat my shorts!"

[LyX]

@ iiDivineii

Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

all of them were funny but that last one cracked me up (especially Girl Bart xD lmao )

[Awkward Smile]

A lot of people agree that the newer seasons aren't comparable to the older ones and i agree.
But here's a quote of their newest episode, last sunday, that i thought was pretty funny.

Ned: Homer, with great power comes great responsibilities.
Homer: What? Who said that?! I'll kill him with my power!

[sbq]

Bart Simpson: ... Dad, I am glad you are still alive ...
Homer Simpson: ... yes, it is every parent's dream to outlive their children ...

lol!

Homer: Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.

Homer: Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

Wise words homer!

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Homer: [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.'

Bart: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know.

Homer: If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?

You tell them Barney

Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Homer: That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed. Wow. A *blue car*.

Marge; Grandpa, are you sitting on the apple pie?
Grandpa: I sure hope so...

Bart: Take him away, boys.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I'm the Police Chief here. Bake him away, toys.
Lou: What was that, chief?
Chief Wiggum: Do what the kid says.


Homer: Hey boy! Wanna play catch?
Bart: No thanks dad.
Homer: When a son doesn't want to play catch with his father something is definitely wrong.
Grandpa Simpson: I'll play catch with you!
Homer: Go home.

Ralph: Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants.
Chief Wiggum: Just relax and it'll come, son.

Chief Wiggum: Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!

Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out.

These are some of my faves!

[Limerence;]

^ HAHAHAHAHA. I LOVE THOSE! <3


My all time favorite:
"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

[melkimx]

Dr. Foster: You are free to roam around the grounds but do be warned one of our patients *is* a cannibal. Try to guess which one... I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Lisa: Miss Tan, I loved The Joy Luck Club. You really showed me how the mother-daughter bond could survive adversity.
Amy Tan: No, no, that's not what I meant at all. I can't believe how wrong you got it. Just sit down, I'm embarrassed for both of us.

Mr. Burns: Smithers, do you think maybe my power plant killed those ducks?
Smithers: There's no maybe about it, Sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent.

[Marge made a disgusting breakfast]
Lisa: [whispers] Dad, I know a way to get out of this.
Lisa: [out loud] Say, Dad, [winks]
Lisa: would you like to see my project for the school science fair? [winks]
Homer: No, Lisa, [winks]
Homer: but I sure don't want to eat this crappy breakfast. [winks]

Bart: This is Milhouse. He's my best friend, because... Well, geographical convenience.

Homer: Well, kids, it's Valentine's Day. You know what that means?
Bart: We get to watch TV with the sound turned way up.
Lisa: What are you and mom going to be doing?
Homer: Oh, we're going to be upstairs, making love... ly rope ladders in case of a fire.

Doctor: This can't be right. This man has 104% body fat.
[he looks and sees Homer eating a drumstick]
Doctor: Hey, no eating in the tank!
Homer Simpson: Go to hell.

Lisa: Dad, I think you're overreacting.
Homer: I think you're UNDERreacting.
Lisa: This session's over.
Homer: This session's UNDER.
Lisa: Goodbye.
Homer: BADbye.

[tokio]

too many to name but here are a few

Homer: I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T...

Homer: Lisa, you're a Buddhist, so you believe in reincarnation. Eventually, Snowball will be reborn as a higher lifeform... like a snowman

Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

Homer : "I've got three words for you, 'I am gay

Homer: Six simple words: "I'm not gay. But I'll learn."

Homer: I've heard 'em all. "I like you as a friend." "I think we should see other people." "I no speak English..."
Lisa: I get the idea.
Homer: "I'm married to the sea." "I don't want to kill you, but I will."

Lisa: I'm no theologian. I don't know who or what God is. All I know is he's more powerful than Mom and Dad put together.

Lucy Lawless: I'll take you home.
Lucy flies, carrying Bart and Lisa.
Lisa: Hey, Xena can't fly!
Lucy Lawless: I told you, I'm not Xena. I'm Lucy Lawless.

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

[Krees]

Gotta Love Ralph

"Hello Super Nintendo Chalmers!"