[akenon]

So I procrastinated and need to get started on my personal statement.
I was looking at the prompts again and I think I will probably be okay for the first one
(Describe how the world you come from shaped you? ...still hard though lol)

But my problem is with the second one
(What are you proud of about yourself.. something like that)

The problem is, being raised in an Asian American home, I kind of grew up with that modesty..
Where saying something good about yourself automatically means you're arrogant, even if it's not
So this topic is really hard for me!
Everything I say sounds arrogant to me no matter what I write..
I don't want to say I'm not proud of anything of course haha
I'm really having trouble with this though!
I can't really think of anything I'm that proud of in the first place =.=;;

Do any of you have this type of problem?
And if so, what do you do about it? D:

[chinese tears <3]

Lol, I think this is true for a lot of us Asians applying to UC's. I would say to pick a moment which you are really proud of and instead of stating how much you've accomplished, talk about what it has taught you, changed your views, etc. Like if you want to talk about how you won something don't talk about the actual award but talk about the process of getting their (the hard work, wanting to give up, enduring whatever, etc.).

I think arrogance in an essay is talking about how good you are and how you're better than everyone else. To me it's easy to not talk about those things though since I'm pretty insecure and know that I'm not up there in the top where I can validly say that I'm better than other people with evidence to back myself up.

[hamiki]

yeah, i have that problem too. I've been taught to be humble and never to brag, BUT my English teacher this year went over college application essays with us and she said don't be afraid to brag, just as long as you don't sound arrogant. If you are still unsure if you sound arrogant or not, I suggest reviewing your essay with a teacher or a non-biased outsider who will read the essay and tell you straight-on if you sound arrogant or not. =)

i still need to start on my essays too. >.<;;
i want to review it with my teacher before i send it in... ahh!!

[akenon]

Thanks ! To both of you~

I put my ideas in a different thread but no one answered so maybe you guys could look at it here? ;n;

Sorry for asking so many questions! I'm really having a hard time with these personal statements... I hate writing about myself lol. I was wondering if anyone can help me brainstorm for ideas or help me develop what I have? Thanks <333

Prompt #1 (freshman applicants)

Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

-My family is..
+ Focused on education (my mom was a teacher/is a tutor)
+ Strong Christians
+ Japanese-American (I'm fourth generation.. haha)

-My community is..
+ A pretty safe and quiet neighborhood (we have a really strong police department.. but I heard they shoot people a lot lol)
+ Has a strong school system
+ Has lots of Asians (mostly Korean and Japanese)

-My school is..
+ A magnet school for math and science
+ Much more diverse than my city/community (large Hispanic population, students from a lot of cities)
+ A very small school (about 150 students per grade)
+ On a college campus (CSUDH)

I don't really know much else to say lol..

If I go with the family aspect, I was thinking maybe I can write about being fourth generation.. like how sometimes I feel like I have no culture because I'm too Americanized? Then after I would write about how, after learning more about my own culture, it sparked my interest in international business/other cultures and languages..

If I go with the community... I'll probably merge it with school, and talk about how going from a generally Asian community to a much more diverse school opened my eyes to the other types of people that live here or something like that... It was kind of a shock to be around so many people who weren't like me and I think it made me realize how little I know about other people's cultures and ideas.

If I go with my school... I could write about the diversity (stated above) or I could write about being at a small school. I haven't really developed that idea yet, but I was thinking that it strengthened my relationships because we get to know pretty much everyone, or it made me more sociable because it was easier to talk to smaller groups... or something like that.. I probably won't do this one lol~

Prompt #2 (all applicants)

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Well as I said on a different topic this is the one that was giving me the most trouble, because saying good things about myself isn't really done within my family, peers, etc. . . But then chinese tears <3 recommended that I write about an event that helped me grow.

So my idea is.. (only thought of one so far)

- Math Modeling Competition
+ I competed two years (soph. and junior.. not sure if I have a team for this year ;A; )
+ It's a 30 hour competition in which a team chooses one of two math problems (they're usually some form of application to the real world) and writes a report of how to solve it
+ The first time, I went in really overconfident because I always got good grades in math
+ Of course, our group did horribly because we overestimated ourselves
+ I realized that there are a lot of people who are much smarter than I am lol
+ The next year, we were better prepared and not expecting to be the best
+ 30 hours and 43 pages later, we were exhausted but we finished! (haha)
+ We received "honorary mention" for it
+ I felt like even though we weren't the best we still could be proud of ourselves because we worked so hard
Thanks to everyone in advance <333