Posted 10 December 2007 - 05:43 PM
I knew my current roommate last semester and I wanted to room with her because she's not messy, she studies a lot and seems like a person who won't borrow your stuff without permission (and all the other aspects of a bad roommate).
Boy, was I wrong.
She's a straight A student but the way she gets them is by NOT sleeping. She gets like 3 hours of sleep every night and a lot of times when she comes back she tells me she hadn't eaten for the whole day. She has the shortest temper in the world. One time when she was upset because our RA wanted to have a little meeting with the hall so we all can get to know each other better, she was pissed off as heck and went back into the room fuming because it was "a waste of her studying time" and next time the RA decides to hold a meeting, she told me to tell her to hide so the RA wouldn't have to see her. It was ridiculous! The RA was trying to be a good RA. So I said "okay but you shouldn't be mad at something so little, the meeting was just like 10 min anyway. Maybe you should try to control your temper." That did it. She went CRAZY on me. She went so crazy that I really got scared of her.
There were other times that something like this happened too. And whenever she's mad, she'll punch something or hit something or BE hit. She told me she likes the stinging feeling when you get hurt. She also tells me that she can pass a lie detector test (and told me only bipolar people can really pass it and 'joked' that she's a bit bipolar - which is not funny btw) and she got almost half color blind when she studied for finals and she trained the cops in her town kung fu. But the thing is, I don't even know if she's telling me the truth or not because I know she actually knows kung fu (for example).
A lot of times she would lie to me when she takes or uses my stuff too. Even the simplest of all things like my vitamins and my cough drops she LIES about it telling me that she's addicted to coughdrops and she eats them all the time and the vitamins are actually her vitamin C (I doubled checked when she wasn't in the room and it was nothing like mine). So I'm thinking that if she lies about something so insignificant, what else is she hiding from me. She sets her alarm at 5:30 AM and doesn't answer it and sleeps through it. It went onto the point that I was too tired the whole day from being woken up so early that I am now forced to wear earplugs when I sleep. She's driving me crazy (literally) and I don't know what to do. I have to continue to live with her for another semester. I'm scared I might not survive before that time comes.
What should I do in this situation??
UPDATE// APRIL 14TH, 2008
Hi everyone. Thanks for your feedback, advice and support on my situation. I'm really thankful. I just wanted to update you on what happened. So, I went to my RHD last semester and he said he I wouldn't be able to move to another room and that I should talk to her about it because "it's the adult thing to do."
Needless to say, he didn't do anything for me and I ended up confronting her. She denied stealing my things. She even swore to God that she didn't take my food. After a I told her what I found in her garbage bin and strictly told her to not lie to me, she finally admitted to it. Then she starts crying and telling me that she was really hungry at that time and etc etc. (which still didn't explain why she couldn't just tell me). So I asked her the reason lied to me about stealing my things. And her excuse was "because you're so nice and innocent that I feel bad telling you about it." Which to me, is a load of bull. After a long conversation, it was resolved (or so I thought!) and I told her to never touch my stuff again and that if she needed something she needs to call me and she agreed.
Then we had winter recess for a month and then we came back into the dorm. I was still really suspicious at first. Then as a few months passed, I saw that she changed a bit. She was actually putting effort in waking up to her alarms (thank goodness!) and it didn't seem like she was touching my stuff. So, I kind of felt bad that I was suspicious of her at first because I thought you know, people would learn their lesson and change for the better. Our 'friendship' was building afterwards because I thought she changed and I was opening up to her and really just being a friend to her again. I really thought she changed and it was time to pick rooms for next semester and she got me into rooming in the same suite/apartment (not same room) with her next semester.
Then one night, I came back from studying in the same building as her, and I found my underwear drawer wide open. Yup, she stole a pad. And somehow forgot to mention it to me when she was with me studying. She even forgot to be courteous to close the drawer. I know this may be weird but she always told me she uses tampons so I have no idea why she took my pad. So again, I confronted her and she said "Oh! I ran out of tampons" which is another lie because on that night, I saw that her drawer was full of tampons. Finally, after a few more minutes of me trying to make her tell the truth, she finally admitted it. Then she told me that that night she was in a lot of pain and the tampons causing her a lot of pain and she really needed a pad...etc and she was crying again. (seriously, I should be the one crying, not her...)
She was crying and telling me how sorry she was and was telling me how I am her best friend in our school and that living with me had change her into a better person etcetc. So yeah, I wanted to be really rigid and not fall for it but in the end, I was too soft hearted and she made me feel terrible about myself. And I reallllyy felt terrible. So when she asked for another chance, I gave her another chance.
Then she went on lying about something stupid again. I don't feel like confronting her again. We're both 20 year old adults and if I have to baby her all the time about this...I just find it really really stupid. She's not a child! I'm not her mother! And I'm so fed up with her and this whole stupid situation. I'm really stupid for believing all her BS and even got tricked into living with her in the same apartment.
I think I know what's wrong with her though. I think she suffers from compulsive lying or she's a pathological liar. I was researching about it and it seems that compulsive liars lie about the simplest things (just like her!) and it's really hard for them to change. They also get defensive once they are confronted and make the confronter seem like the bad guy. Which is exactly how I felt and exactly how she is.
Has anyone ever experienced being with a friend or a roommate that was a compulsive liar/pathological liar? If so, what do you do to prevent yourself from feeling absolutely messed up because of her/him? Because I feel like I can't believe anything she says and not only that, I feel suspicious around other people now too! Being in such a situation made me feel that a lot of people may be lying to me but I don't even know if they are yet I trust them. And it really scares me that I'm turing into someone I'm not. I'm a nice person, I'm honest and I wear my heart on my sleeve. Getting suspicious of people and sometimes my good friends really scares me because I was never like that before. I trust what people say (not foolishly trust) but normal people wouldn't talk to another person and think that the person is lying about everything that they're saying.
I don't know what to do anymore. Help??
o.k. issues.
I think there’s really not much you can do, I’ve come to the conclusion that almost every roommate is the same. You’ll just find that they’re just as weird and have annoying habits as well. 
