Dangerous Love - soompi forums

Dangerous Love with my bestfriend (please help!)

#1 colourfool

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Posted 04 January 2008 - 02:20 AM

I'm in love with my best friend. We fooled around, but he "loves" someone else.

#2 pachi_A

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Posted 04 January 2008 - 03:15 AM

okay well.. i'm really kind of confused myself...

are you guys a couple? like an unofficial couple? is he bisexual?
it sounds like he also likes you in the way that you like him, but at the same time it doesnt look like he's going to give up that girl. he's being really selfish and immature. does he not realize how much you actually feel about the situation? even if its hard, i think you need to do what is best for you in this situation. if you stay, he will be happy and make you miserable by still being with that other girl. does he not understand what you are trying to say to him? he knows you love him, but he fools around with another girl, and yet he's with you at the same time and everything is out in the open. that is so shadddy. i'm sorry, but i think you need to stand your ground. do not let him manipulate you.

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#3 Exquisite

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Posted 04 January 2008 - 09:18 AM

is he bisexual? well it sounds as if he's confused about things. it sounds as if he wants the cake and eat it too but that's not possible as he cannot have a relationship with both you and that other girl. perhaps you should just leave things just as they are and try to move on? you've already told him about how you feel and it sounds like he's into you but then again there's that other girl. ask him what he wants? if he wants you or her? it might sound a bit harsh to give him an ultimatum but you can do it subtly perhaps?

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#4 colourfool

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 03:16 AM

Thanks for the reply! I don't know if he's bisexual or not...but we fooled around...like..things I don't think I'm allowed to say

So...Is he lying if he says he's straight?

I've talked to him several times..I think I made things awkward because I bring it up all the time..and he "doesn't want to talk about it" he just doens't want me to leave. I guess I just want a s/o like he does..I just wished he wanted me.

Sometimes I think it's because of the way he's raised. How it's "right" to date girls, and he was brought up in a really strict asian house. I also know he wants kids, and lots of them..maybe it's 'cause thats something I can't give him

Is the awkward feeling going to go away? I feel like I've annoyed him. I've been giving him "space" and I haven't really been talking to him because he seems kind of mad.

#5 addickshun

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 03:34 AM

i'm a bit confused with the story
but he seems bisexual imo .__.

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#6 dannyz0r

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 04:11 AM

ahhhhhhhhhh sounds gay? ahahahahhaah xD

#7 FooFooRuk

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 04:42 AM

he is bisexual if you guys fooled around = / and obviously he likes you
i think he's just having a hard time accepting this and coming out so ...i think you should give him some time and space to think...

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#8 lovelyxdream

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 05:58 AM

^ ditto that.

he maybe confused about himself and his feelings. and if he is really bi or gay, he might be too scared to admit it to himself.
just give him a little more time, and then try to talk to him again and see what happens.
in my opinion though, if he does figures things out (whether he is bi, gay, or straight) and he just wants you to stay by his side knowing full well how you feel about him and going out with that i girl, i think he's being a little selfish.
i hope everything works out for the best

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#9 rikuu

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 07:51 AM

you know what? he could be using the girl to make you jealous or something.
from what it looks like to me, he's more like teasing you and stuff.
but if you feel as though you've been annoying him, give him a little space.
let him sort his mind out, and let yourself sort your mind out as well, if you're really confused.
I think he's bi imo. Saying that he wants kids and all yet allowing the two of you to fool around.
maybe he's confused? give him some time. ^^ give yourself some time too, okay?

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#10 x0_saturn_0x

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 11:21 AM

um
i'm kinda lost
but
i think he's bi
and he doesnt want to admit it yet
so he's denying his feelings for you by avoidng you
=/
i'm not sure.

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#11 OMGitzYOU

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 11:36 AM

He's bi and doesn't know which way he should lean

give him time and space so he can eventually decide o.o

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#12 juicyness

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 12:48 PM

well from what i think, being best friends and being so close to each other, made you love the person even more.
i know a person who is bi.. he had problems with his best friend too xcept it was a girl.. guy loved his bestfriend but girl turned him down.. but they still remained friends.. couple of years passed and he realized that he liked guys too... he went out with guys, fell inlove with them HOWEVER he realized that he was still in love with his best friend. i think this can relate to you and your best friend a bit but jst to tell u.. he took a couple of years to decide either he had feelings for the guy he fell in love with or his best friend. anyways jst give him time to decide whether its you he wants or someone else. sorry if it wast much help, deeply sorry.

#13 hippiehop

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 01:45 PM

Is he not willing to admit that he's gay? Why would you be happy for him that he found a girl unless he didn't think he's into guys?

#14 bboy_spadez

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 02:22 PM

alright let's get this straight...you're bi or homosexual and he's bi or straight or homosexual?
trying to clear things out here to make it easier for me and others

#15 envyandy

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 03:58 PM

QUOTE (OMGitzYOU @ Jan 6 2008, 02:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

He's bi and doesn't know which way he should lean

give him time and space so he can eventually decide o.o

ditto

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#16 <3goesDOKIDOKI

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 04:11 PM

it kinda sounds like
your friend
wants to have his cake and eat it too
he wants you to be there for him, but he wants to be able to fool around/date this girl too

doesnt sound fair to me
i think you should just leave and get over him.

#17 taebins_luver

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 04:23 PM

i think he's gay but he's afraid to admit it
i think he's just talking to that other girl to keep proving to himself that he's...not gay?
i say that because he's willing to give her up for you
but at the same time, he wants to keep holding on for some reason.
ask him, find out...it don't hurt to ask

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#18 j!lee

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Posted 06 January 2008 - 07:32 PM

QUOTE (FooFooRuk @ Jan 6 2008, 04:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah. I mean, jsut being attracted to the same gender is hard to take in, especially with the taboo about gay people running around, even though he's only half gay. Give him some space! Let him breathe! He needs to think for a while. But uh.. until he decides to choose gay and choose you, DON'T go near him and be intimate with him. It'll only crush you more than anything else if he decides to choose the girl.

#19 colourfool

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Posted 07 January 2008 - 12:12 AM

ok..some really good advice there.

Um..I'm bisexual and I don't know what he is...

#20 ntxoo89

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Posted 07 January 2008 - 12:44 AM

by reading your story i'm guessing he wants both
he wants you to be by his side and also keep talking to the girl at the same time
i'm guessing he wants you to accept the girl that he is talking to

i think you should tell him that you like him
but...i think it would take a lot of courage too huh...