[luven-you]

i was trying to tell my buddy 'aww you have such cute dimples'... but it came out...

me: aww you have such cute nipples.
him: ..... haha okay....

& i didnt notice what i said until few 32904823094823409234 minutes later. lol
D: lol he wouldnt stop making fun of me after that day..

this never fails to make me lol.

ive said a lot of stupid things before. the only one i remember atm is when i was waiting at the streetcar stop and this lady asked me to help her carry her bags.

her: can you help me carry my bags? theyre heavy
me: *nods and grabs the bags* thank you very much

^wtf, lmao.

and this girl in my psych class:

girl: *raises her hand* is it true that you can die from being too smart?
teacher: *laughs like crazy*
girl: no i'm serious! i heard your head can explode from being too smart
teacher: *doubles over in laughter* yeah.. you don't need to worry about that

also happened in psych class:

teacher: yeah.. drinking milk helps you grow
girl: what about chocolate milk?
teacher: it's chocolate milk

[buenogee]

LOL . i loove these. they're so entertaining to read.
kay so i was at school with my friends and my friend had a Tupperware full of strawberries.
i think i was frikken hyper cus i blurted out : " HEY CAN I HAVE SOME CARROTS ?! " >< .

and my brother is right here beside me and he told me to post this time i told him to do something for me.
so it was time to go to sleep . and i was in bed already and he needed to ask me something. i like to sleep with my door closed etc. etc.
so i was like " TURN OFF THE DOOR AND CLOSEE THE LIGHTS ! "
and he was ROFL-ing for a full 5 minutes . xD

[lapitta112]

Me and my friend alberto was having an argument and he tol me 2 shutup so this is how it went
Alberto : shutup
Me: no your name is alberto and that sounds like alfredo and pasta can't talk so you shut up

then we just stared at eachothre and laughed

[&. crepuscular]

someone in my friend's class asked
"who's hitler?"

[cook1ex3]

"i want to be an architecture."
"you mean an architect?"

"oh look- hebrew sat II's! that's so cool!"
"wow, reminds me of Jesus."
"..why? Jesus was jewish."

I walked into an elevator.
"Are you going up?"
"..of course, ma'am."
I walked in, on the basement.
"right."

[S0URPATCH--]

So one of my friends and I are "married" and another friend is our "daughter" and I was like
"You're artistic because of your father and you're dumb because of me! ...............WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!!!!"
I HONESTLYYYYYY just meant that I was dumb but mannn, I really should've thought before I spoke LOL @_@

[Octopus__]

Not something stupid I've said
but rather written. It was on a test
and I bubbled my name in on the side
and had to write my name up at the
top. After taking the neat time to bubble
in, I wrote my name out: America States.
My name's Amanda Soy. >>;

Another time last year, biology was having
a lab day with popcorn kernels. So I was just
sitting around touching the little kernels when
I asked, "Where do popcorn kernels come from?"
One of my partners looked up from whatever
she was doing and was like, "You're kidding me
right?" I looked at her and was like, "No, seriously."
Lol.. she was like, "I'm not answering that." I didn't
get it until five minutes passed.

[happii.lele]

Does anyone else find the topic of this post ironically funny?
"stupidest thing you've said" yes... stupidest :P

[Mishimooshoo]

Haha i remember one time i was having a conversation with my sister at the hospital and it was early in the morning and i was a bit messed up because i was so hungry and tired and extremely bored

My dad: you should become a doctor when you grow up
Me:I don't want to be a doctor. I hate looking at blood and boo boos
my sister: You don't have to be that kind of doctor. There's all types that study a bunch of different stuff
Me:is there food doctors?
My sister: umm, something like that.
Me:...*few minutes later*...so are farmers like doctors? because they take care of food and stuff.

And then my sister was like and she called me paris hilton lol

[luckyclover]

While i was doing a presentation,
i was supposed to say "all of the journal articles"

& i accidentally said "all of the journicals"
....in front of the whole class.


-
then when my friends were teasing me later

friend: ahaha all of the journicals
me: dude shut upp. i meant to say journicals.

i said it all annoyed too,

but i had to laugh after that xD

[bbygirlx3]

i got done watching ice age 3d and went outside,
"i wish i could see everything in 3D."
LMAO. that was just stupid, agreed?

[wishy-star*]

loll this happened to me after buying something from the candystand in the movie theatre

cashier:thank you and enjoy your movie!
me: oh you too~
cashier:
my bf: uh baby he's working tonight, he cant watch movies

[eigengrau.]

HAHAHA, not me (I'm sure I have though, just don't remember) but my boyfriend's friend always cracks
me up because of his fobby english.. even though he isn't exactly fob, LMAO.

They played Left 4 Dead and he called the zombies, chombies.

Then one time, he was frustrated with something when we were all walking out of McDonald's,
"For God's shake (sake)!"

Aahhhhh, so fun.

[xJoyful]

okay so i had this friend who just got a new haircut.

him: i hate my new haircut, i look like a lesbian
me: not anymore.

..i realized what i said after i said it.
looool. i felt bad.

[k r e m e s]

My dumbest comment ever must have been in my 9th grade Honors English class when I asked my teacher if they have ever found any evidence to unicorns.

My close friend and I always manage to embarrass ourselves at drive throughs , but this Starbucks one is the most memorable.
Me: Hey, you know they have pumpkin spice now
Her: Wah, wah, wah?
Me: Woah, calm down
I finalized our order and I declined his offer for whip cream on my drink.
Her: You don't like whip cream?
Me: I'm not a fan
Her: I'm a whip cream fiend
Me: I'm not a friend of fiends
We get to the window, and the clerk has a smirk on his face. After a few minutes, he said, "You guys know we can hear you right?"
Me: Umm... yes...
Him: Yeah, we were all laughing our asses off

"Whats santa's last name?"
my friends : "Santa CLAUSE!?"
me: *oh yea..opps xD*

LOL Santa Claus is not his first and last name. It means Saint Nicholas in Dutch (Sint Klaas).

[ddochi_mi]

i was eating out with 4 of my other friends when one of them got a text and:

she said "michael jackson just died!"

i replied "the basketball player!?"

-.- i couldn't believe i said that...

[adieu.cloud]

LMAO these made me laugh!

my guy friend was talking to me & my friend on chat .
we were making fun of him & he said

him: SEX UP!
him: oh! i mean i mean SHUT UP

& this happened to me today :x

friend: can i KLASDHA;SDASKDH?
me: WHAT!?
friend: can i KLSJD:AHSDLHKSLHDSA?!
me: can you hit the wall?!
friend: can i AKLSD;ASKHDKASHDA!?!!
me: WHAT?!?! can you hit the ball!?
friend: CAN I ASLDKHASLDHS?!!!!!!
me: WHATTTTTT!?! can you hit the...?!
friend: -comes into the room im in- CAN I HIT THE MOTH! D:<

[infinite*]

These are so funny. I love the dimples -> nipples one.

I think I've already posted this here but I can't find it. I'll say it again anyways.

I was walking home with my friends, when we saw McDonalds so we decided to get a drink.
The waters for free & I was like "So, wait! How much is free water?"
They were all like "FREE water". It took me a few seconds to realise what I said.

edit; I accidently jumbled my words once.
"What hair is my colour" T-T

[Tetsu69]

You need 4 of these *I lift up 3 fingers*

[Irony.]

Me: OMG I read "prostitue" as prostitute
Friend: I did too?
Me: Ohh must be a spelling mistake

LOL ....