[eigengrau.]

Nooo, I'm not racist.

I always notice at some schools, people hang out, be friends by race.
Before I thought.. "Wowww, can't they get along with others?"

But now I understand.. =.=;;

Mostly because we have similiar interests in music and fashion.



I'm Vietnamese/Chinese and I hang out with Filipino people my age.
But this year, my sister is now in grade 8, in my secondary school along with this
group of Chinese and Vietnamese girls. I REALLY like my sisters friends XD!
We get along so well, and even though it's only been half a year, we're just close like that.
Steal eachothers food, hit eachother, make fun of eachother and run around being silly.
With them- I feel like I can be myself.

But with the Filipino friends that are my age.. I feel so awkward! I'm always the one who will sit and listen.
They don't have similiar interests as me, so I can never talk about things. When I do talk--
about anything, I know I tend to mumble and stutter 'cause it takes me awhile to think of what
to say- NOT BECAUSE I'M NERVOUS.. I'm just slow. They just ignore me or interrupt me while I'm
talking so I just end up feeling awkward, sitting there- while they talk to eachother. Then after I'm
quiet, they'll ask, "Why're you so quiet?"
>_>.. why do you THINK?!

So I'm starting to slowly move to the more comfortable crowd..
and my other friends are noticing, but they don't exactly say anything. They don't seem to exactly care
anyways. =.=;; But maybe they try to care, like when they look for me at lunch.

I'm in grade 11, and the crowd I want to hang out with is in grade 8.
3 years apart, but so much more comfortable. Probably because half of my mind is a mind of a kid. ^__^
Plus, with my sister-- I feel so much better. She's like a best friend to me (even though she's very annoying).
I love her lots~~~ <3



I am making the right choice.. right? O_O
Or at least, it seems so?



THANKS FOR TAKING TIME TO REPLY (:
I feel happier now~~~ and less weight on my shoulders.

Still~~ talk talk. LOL. Tell your opinions ^__^

[yoshiba]

So you feel better around people younger than you because you feel less intimidated? You worry too much of what you want to say when mingled into another group of people your age and coming from a different ethnic group. You feel more comfortable with your sister's friends (which are now your close friends) because feel more intimate and extroverted around them, as you feel like you have a more important part in that group, and more of a talker rather than a listener. You don't like to be ignored, or feel immature around people your age, so refine yourself to a state where they believe your a introvert.

Interesting...
@ Your question: The choice is up to you, whatever makes you feel comfortable.
But, really it doesn't matter what ethnic group you 'hang around with'. In High School, my group of close buddies consist of a Syrian, Turkish, Australian, Irish, Cambodian, Chinese, Vietnamese, and Hungarian. We were all childish, we would tease each other and have fun. You just haven't found the right group of people.

[mineforkeeps.]

I think I read somewhere that people usually do hang out with and befriend others of the same race (e.g. in class, you're more likely to sit next to someone of the same race). I don't think it really means anything. It may be because you feel more comfortable around those of the same race as you (for example, if you grow up being around asians all the time, you'd probably feel more comfortable around asians) and like you said, same interests and such.

When I first started uni (new place, new people), I know I felt more comfortable sitting around asians, but that didn't mean I was unfriendly to non-asians. Now that I'm more comfortable in my environment, I just sit anywhere where there's a free seat lol.

If you don't feel comfortable hanging with certain people, then you don't have to hang out with them. It shouldn't be thought of as "just because I hang out with my race, I don't get along with other races" and you shouldn't feel like you have to set an example that all races can get along by hanging out with people you don't feel comfortable around (that's what it kind of seems like to me).

Just be friends with who you want to be friends with and those who you're comfortable with.

[jello24]

everyone in high school hangs with the same ethnic group... its a fact of life, but once you get to college, every race is equal. welcome to the real world. you will quickly discover how many non-asians are actually pretty damn fun to be with. except weaboos. they can get annoying at times. props for open mindedness though, but being a weaboo isnt natural.

and as a filipino, you should know that we are open-minded about other asians. all the people i hang out with are actually non-filos. most of them are taiwanese that enjoy a good laugh. a korean chick that cant seem to grasp my mental state, and some vietnamese that are more up to date than my japanese friend about japan entertainment. so dont feel awkward. say what you want. if you wanna talk about about fobby clothes, go ahead, filos like fashion. talk about asian dramas? sure, as long as the plot makes sense we can argue about it all day hahaha.

then again, im one of the noisier filipinos around, so results MAY vary, but not too much.

[eigengrau.]

yoshiba: Not less intimidated. I never felt intimidated by my older friends.
I just feel they don't like having me around =.=;; And yah, they pretty much believe I'm
shy. And that's what really pisses me off. In my sister's group, it's like I'm both listener and speaker.

babyleese: Lol. (: Thank youuu. It's only sometimes thoughhh.
Because some people other than Asian, love Asian things too- and I'd probably get along well with them as well ^__^!

jello24: Ahahahaha, I can't help but laugh at the weaboos comment. I think they're very weird and unnatural too D:
It makes me cringeee. And yess, my Filipino friends also really like Korean dramas. But I don't watch them a lot.
I'm more into music, and my friends only listen to American music. So when I talk about it they just give me a 'I-don't-care' face.

[itrayya]

every school has their own group.

but the first group/comfort zone you look for
is one that you're use to, right?

at my school, it's like that.
i guess with asians the most.

but yah.
friends are friends to me.

[__laine]

in high school, i'd hang out with filipinos (cuz i'm filipino) only because i've known them since elementary and theres just so many of us but i hung out with non-filipinos too. my closest friends aren't my closest friends because we're the same ethnicity, but because i'm really comfortable around them and we can talk about whatevers. three of my really close friends aren't even filipino.

in college, i still have filipino friends but i have non-filipino friends too. honestly i wish i wasn't involved in the filipino community just because thats less drama for me HAHA. but i don't think being the same ethnicity makes you more comfortable. are you really going to talk about race related things allll the time??

[Keiyun]

I'm Chinese, and I hang out with Chinese people.
So yeah, it's pretty true.

I have a lot of Korean friends, too, but it's hard for us to hang out because they have their own Korean crowd, and they speak totally in Korean. It becomes awkward because of the language barrier, but I'm pretty close with the ones that speak fluent English.

[rikyuu]

If you're happy with them, then I don't see why it should be wrong unless you're judging your new group of friends in a certain way, just because they're the same ethnicity.

I...don't 'hang' with Korean people, because all the girls I've met have been unbearable and the boys doubly so, but I'm sure there are some out there I would get along with. I think you're...putting too much emphasis on race. If you're friends with somebody, why does it matter? Personality is much more important. I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing, just the way you're thinking about it.

[Lovelight]

as long as you're comfortable with them, there's no problem. one of my bestfriends is 3 years older than us. -shrug-

it's easier to relate to those from your ethnicity. same customs, culture, traditions, interests, etc.

[symphonee.]

I get along well with both asians and caucasians. Although I have noticed that when I hang with my caucasian friends, I get weird looks from other asians - just cause I'm the only asian in a "white crowd".


I don't think age and race should matter when it comes to making friends. You just make friends with whoever you're most comfortable around/click well with. I've got plenty of younger and older friends of all sorts of races.

[str8upyangsterr]

Being friends with your sister's friends is not bad.

But your Filipino clique at school is.
Why do you chose to hang out with girls who treat you like a piece of crap?
I'm pretty sure there are a lot more people than just those girls.
Who cares if they aren't asian?
I bet the white kids, or black kids etc etc will treat you a whole lot better than who you're hanging out with at the moment!
Just because you're chinese/viet doesn't mean you HAVE to hang out with that certain type of group.
I'm Korean, but I very rarely hang out with other Koreans. My best friend is viet, my other close friends range from black, white, indian, and chinese.
It's ok if you don't have 200 friends like some of the kids at your school. Just worry about finding a TRUE friend.
good luck! ;]

[KOGEPANN;)]

oo I feel that way too, maybe because they're of a chinese/vietnamnese culture,
therefore you feel you have more to say?
You share the same norms and values as eachother ;P
it's simple as, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
But I still take an interest in other people's cultures,
I have white/black/fillipino/mixed race friends, haha it's interesting,
we like to compare our cultures and stuff.
They teach me their language I teach me a bit of my language, simple as.
Just try to find common grounds with your fillipino friends.

[bb51]

i don't this it is necessarily true that people of certain ethnicities hang around/get along with only those of the same ethnicity. I'm chinese but i've never really hung around with other chinese people or even asians. In highschool, my group consisted of mainly caucasians (i was the only asian) and now that i've just started uni, most of the friends i've made so far are all caucasian. In fact, sometimes i feel more comfortable and get along better with non-asians simply because we share similiar interests or personality traits. So i think it's more about the personality and interests of an individual rather than their ethinicity.

[takashi]

chill with whoever you're comfortable with the most. just because you hang with people of your grade doesn't mean you'll fit in. it's not a matter of age, it's the vibe =] i know what you mean, though. i'm starting to drift from my asian group, even though most of us are chinese, but they are into other things that i find... boring? (btw, they're the smart people in the grade) xD so yeah. as long as you are happy with your gr.8 friends, just stick with them ^^

[Romancer.]

I don't think it's ethnicity that's really important, but having similar interests. Lol my bestfriend is Jamaican and my other close friend is caucasian(Italian?) and we get on SO damn well because we like the same things and they're nice people.

Idk, I've noticed that it's different here with people of different ethnicities than in the US. It's probably because there's less asians here so we tend to mingle with other groups and it's just seen as normal and nothing out of the ordinary.

[Amanda Plz]

It's more like the interests part than ethnicity. I actually tend to gravitate more towards people who aren't my race because those who ARE almost always seem to have the same generic interests in music, fashion, and whatnot. And they see me as a type of betrayer . Whatever.

But if the person's nice or whatever it shouldn't matter what race they are . As long as you get along and like one another.

[angelcadex]

Birds of the same feather flock together.
Something like that.
I know what you mean though.

I only hang around Asian kids at my school because well...
we don't really have Asians period, but I still hang out with them personality wise,
if they're a jerk than yeah o.o

[honeyjee]

i agree; it does happen.
asians are a minority in some schools..
so, unless someone's open to making friends
and does not care of ethnicity..
the chances of this happening are quite high

[CitrusFlower]

it's true.There isn't many asian in my school so I hang out with any kind of race but then again even if there is alot of asian I'll still hang out with other race. I have lots of friends but my real friends are like phillipino,cambodian,vietnamese and stuff, We speak english to each other unless we want to learn new words