[fatedlove]

A Man's World


How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford
a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men break wind more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door
and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.

I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
I don't like to interrupt her.

Scientists have discovered a food
that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

Our last fight was my fault:
My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said,
"I haven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."



hehe hope it's not a repost ^^

[ling_ling]

lol this is soooo ruuuuuuuuuude BUT so FUNNY at the same time HAHAHAHAHA

[aznshorty]

lmao!! ahahaha it's so mean to women, but theyre still so funny!

ahahaha!women are unwanted.jk!

[lulunotlemon*]

LOL omgg these are sooooooooooo rude and mean!!! D:

[poohbear101]

LOL

hahah im a girl and i think sum of these are funnyy i like the one about God, the 3-ring thing and the wedding cake onee

[rufflezz]

LOLOL. I actually thought some of these were funny.

[duckie 27]

these are sooo funny
and rude at the same time.

[Justalilodreamer]

LMAO!! HAHAHA so mean but hilarious

[jnie]

yea it may be rude....
but really funny at the same time...

[lovablekrnstar63]

these are really good
anybody have any women rebuttals?

[reset.love]

I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.


Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

my fav top 3

[lilo_azn_gurl]

hahaha!!!! rude, but u gotta say, some of these are really true!!!! hahaha!!!!
thx for sharing!!!

[sj__love]

hahaha insulting but somewhat true XD
willpower ^_______^

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

^ i loved that one <333

thanks for sharing

[strawberry_hit]

ah the same thing goes through the mine of girls too....lol man no wonder divorce rate are increasing

[d00lie]

OMG. i need to show this to my friend. he's like a believer in probably all ofthis.

[milkbottle.]

Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said,
"I haven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

^ My favorite 4.
Hahhaha, these are so mean but funny.

[lilil aZn babe]

lol these are funny!!......

[K-PopFighting]

ROFl Mean and funny xD I like the one with the kid and the dad LOL.
Thanks for sharing!

[Absinthe.]

well theres always ones about women being the smart ones...this is a nice comeback. XD

[eliman]

lolol i like the mrs right one xD