[whiterainbowx]

Understanding Engineers - One

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,
"Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Five

The graduate with a science degree asks," Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Six

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers - Seven

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Understanding Engineers - Eight

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

[nymph]

Haha...I really enjoyed reading these

[Baby9]

lmao. the last one was AWESOME.
i was thinking he'd kiss it and the frog tricked him or something.
TALKING FROG?! I WANT.

[mayyeejeh]

i actually really like the first one... the rest are funny too

[HeartOnHerSleeve]

Hahaha, my favorites are the second and last one.

[trangx]

ahah these are funny. my favorite one was the second one.
'the glass is two times bigger than it has to be.'

thanks for posting

[sulfuric_ACID]

oh i got that in an email lol.. i find it funny cause i'm an eng student

[mystified]

xD the last one abt the frog was kinda cute lolzz..
u made my day!
&& thanks for sharing!!

[soongiang]

I'm an arts student
hehehh loved it anyways

[miz_babeblu_gem]

lolz, I personally like the first and last one! they are funny!

[jello24]

best set of jokes ive read from these boards in a long time!! PROPS TO YOU!!

[eliman]

hahahah these r quite smart n hilarious xD bad portrayal of engineers tho XD

[lulunotlemon*]

LMFAO THE LAST ONE HAHAHAHA XDD

AHHH Thanks for sharing ^^

[lovablekrnstar63]

haha
one of my teachers would have enjoyed these immensely
he designed something or another for NASA

[halcyondays]

these are really funny..... poor arts majors....


"The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


hahahahaha

[Laxntiga]

This helps me understand my engineering friends so much, wow.

[d a y.b r e a k]

i dont get 7&5
but the rest are funny ahhaha
i see engineers are funny xD


-TEAA`

[D~~na]

oh god i am going to be just like them in 4 years