I am going to post this on other forums too. There are currently three other forums with this same guide. The notice of each one will be slightly altered.
Hello all, I've let a friend of mine who is a member here to read my guide, and was advised to post it here, so here it is.
I'm doing some heavy editing with this guide right now from feedback I have been given, as well as adding more content that I should have covered.
Please bare with my adequate writing skills.
If you disagree with anything I say, please reply, and state what and why.
I will ignore you if you use insults.
Introduction
I use to be a shy guy myself, but I have taught myself all the things wrong with me at the time. I began reading articles from another forum. It somewhat helped. I applied some of the things they have said into my life and it has changed a lot.
My thread or whatever you want to call it isn't going to be about my hands on experience of what happened to me, but it is going to be about hands on experiences that I want all other shy guys to acknowledge. Keep in mind that my tips are from my point of view, an ex-shy guy's point of view.
This is to mostly help shy guys in "LOVE" to become confident and have their lives better than ever.
I may tell the story of what happened to me, after I have finished this.
Part One - Understanding the Meaning of Love
Most shy guys these days claim they love a girl when they do not even know the meaning of love. The chances are, that it is really love are not that likely. (This is mostly referring to guys who believe in love at first sight type things.) They're most likely infatuated or it is somewhat lust. If not infatuated they are one step lower than it, which is limerence.
I can't be bothered explaining the difference so I'll let wikipedia do it's job.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lust
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infatuation
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
Part Two - Living your Life Properly
Knowing shy guys, they revolve their life around the girl. This isn't a good thing. It shows you got no life. This means most of your actions are based upon her, so she is controlling your life, if you think about it that way.
How can you let someone into your own life, when you can't even manage it yourself?
Your own life is more important than someone else's. First few things that needs to be done is to put aside your feelings. Try to get the girl off your mind first.
Don't care about her actions or anything. Most shy guys over analyse everything that a girl does to them, such as things she says, body language etc. This is utterly a complete waste of time. You cannot figure out what someone is thinking. Unless you got ESP or something.
A good way to get her off your mind is try doing something you enjoy and focus on that, or you could find a temporary target to override her (I know this sounds stupid, but it works.)
Once you're not emotionally/physically attached anymore, then you should be able to live your life without caring about her.
Once that is done, although you still like her, you won't be as attached as much anymore, meaning you won't be clingy anymore, and can run your own life, while trying to win :thumbsup
Part Three - Use of Technology and Entertainment
Some of the things in the part may refer back to the others.
In these days, it's a common thing to use technology to communicate with others. Whether it is on the phone or over an IM [Instant Messenger (MSN, Yahoo, AIM etc.)].
Obtaining the girl's number/email is a start, but only if you know how to use it properly. Some guys think it is a good thing to talk to her a lot, but this just drags her away from you more. Constantly talking to someone via IM/phone would just annoy them. (I know I'm pointing out the obvious, but some people are just that slow.) This isn't just to a girl you "like", it could be anyone. If you keep it up, expect to be blocked/deleted. I use to be like this and it has happened numerous times.
Do NOT ever, EVER! sit infront of your computer waiting for her to come online. This shows you have no life, and you way too much time on your hands. She has a life outside of the internet. If you want to initiate a conversation, don't do it daily or whatever, if it's just small talk. Unless it's important, like an assignment or something at school, that's an opportunity to ask about. If the conversation feels like it is going to end or going no where, find an excuse to stop the conversation before it's just completely pointless. Long conversations are not usually good, since you have spoken too much, and there isn't much left to be said, for another time etc.
Keeping your conversations nice and simple, is the way to go. This way, she might have something to say back at you. Also having some reoccurring inside joke (A joke between a group of people. In this case, you and her.) would be nice, this also applies to real life.
(I know my explanation isn't that good.)
IM and Phone is basically a tool to use to, get slightly closer, if you know how to use it correctly and also a tool to organise outings.
NEVER EVER, use them to try and win her heart, with it.
Also don't over think things you say. Just say it! Say things you would normally say, with a little comment sense (Nothing TOO stupid.).
Part Three and a Half
Entertainment can manipulate your mind and emotions. How? I will explain.
When you watch a movie, about love or something near that category, it can make you believe in a false reality, that everything will be alright. I'm not saying that things in love related movies will not happen in real life, but the chances of it happening in reality are slim. Everyone wants a happy ending, but sometimes, life just doesn't work that way. Just don't get brain washed into believing stuff like that. It's giving false hope. This is gives you high expectations of things, that will most likely not happen at all. There is nothing wrong with watching romantic movies though. You just have to be able to realise that in reality, the world does not work that way.
Music can effect you too. STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM EMO ROCK! Emo rock would just make your mental state worse. You will feel like cr-p. Hence, that emo is an abbreviation for Emotional. It would screw with your emotions and make you feel sad, stressed and depressed. I know it sounds crazy that music can affect you, but it can. Also, RnB isn't a good idea, since most of it is singing about Love too. Every single genre would have love related songs, but I'm pointing out those two because they are the most common, with love related songs.
Part Four - Relying on Friends
Most shy guys think that their friends can help them out at winning a girl. They are wrong. Trying to get help to win a girl, shows they lack confidence to themselves, and they don't believe they can do it on their own. Even if they do tell a friend, it's useless, unless they got enough confidence to actually DO SOMETHING!
Also, another thing about telling a friend or friends is they can possibly leak out information of who they like, which they may think, is the end of the world, but it's not really. This can be used as an advantage if they play their cards right, which I am 99% sure they won't, because shy guys right now would be panicking and wondering what to do next, which they got no idea, so they are basically screwed from here on, unless... well I will leave that to another Article.
I assuming they will only tell one or two friends. And if the friends have not leaked anything, well then they are going to wish they have. The shy guy will most likely complain and whine to his friends, asking them what to do next and "why doesn't _____ like me?". Keep in mind this is constantly, and this could drive any sane person insane.
So, if you wanna be more confident, DO THINGS YOURSELF!
However, if you got enough confidence to do things, just that it would be easier if a friend were to help, then by all means, tell them to hook you up.
Also friends can help to meet new people. So use what you got to meet more people. Who knows, you may meet someone who could be your future wife through them.
Part Five - Looking Good
Alright, this article is gonna be about your own appearance.
I'll be very brief about it.
NEVER EVER EVER! wear clothing cause a particular girl likes it. That's what she likes, not what you like. This applies to everything too. Have your own opinion on things and don't be her b----.
Now that I put that aside, here's my two cents on what to look like.
Some shy guys, I see usually have an appearance of some emo guy or they just look dreadful, and not out there.
If you're an emo guy type guy, lose the black and get some colours going. Some black is okay, but not all black, it's sort of creepy. Also the hair needs to go. It looks more girly than manly. Although some girls may say that kind of longish hair looks hot, do you honestly think a girl prefers a girly looking man, or a masculine looking man.
To look more confident, dress more out there, like when you walk into a room and every single mother----er can see you straight away. I'm not saying that you should get bright clothes, but hey, if that's what you like, go for it.
Wear what you feel looks good on you.
Different people have different taste in things like music, movies etc. This applies to clothes too, so don't think that everybody will love your appearance.
A start is to get your ideal look, once you got that down, you should be able to go to your local mall and find some things you like.
If you smell at times, don't use deodorant or cologne with a strong scent to cover it. Instead, use ones with a very light scent or even no scent.
Go for a hairstyle that looks nice on you that you like. I would stick with short hair, as it seems more masculine than long hair, but that's only my opinion, I'm sure that some girls will disagree with me.
I think I covered enough about appearance.
Part Six - The Social Hierarchy
What I mean by the social hierarchy is that, every school/college/workplace etc has one.
You got different groups of people, from jocks to emos to nerds etc.
It's your choice of which group to hang out with, but the best idea is to make friends with all groups. If you make friends with all groups, you would have no real enemies, making everyone happy.
I wouldn't drift away from the current group of friends you got now, unless you don't have any. The current groups of friends you have now are usually your bestfriends, so I would stick with them the most. Hanging out with other groups is okay, just make sure you know who are your good friends and who are your okay friends etc.
Once you have done this, you can keep making friends by making friends of theirs, this allows you to have more friends and a chance to meet more girls, which gives you a wider choice of which girl/s you want. (Keep in mind it's not cheating or anything if you like multiple girls.)
The more friends you make, the more social activities you will be invited to. It's your choice to hang out with which group, because different groups may influence you to behave differently etc.
Also don’t be afraid to become a leader of a group. If you’re going out, feel free to invite your other friends, so they can mix and match. It’s good to have all of your friends, friendly with each other.
Part Six and a half – Getting Confidence to talk to others
I know that most of you may not be confident enough to talk to other people yet, so here is some advice.
First of all, learn how to say hello to people. It can be towards whoever you want. It can be to people you don’t normally speak to such as co-workers, classmates, teachers and storekeepers. Also learn to smile a little. Everyone likes a happy and friendly guy. Just don’t be too nice or you will end up being a b----. As the saying goes, Nice guys Finish Last. Don’t be afraid to go and initiate a conversation to them. That’s the way of how to meet new people.
Another skill is learning on how to talk, amongst others. Meeting new people is easy, because all that is required is asking each other questions about each other. It is good to end conversations quickly, and leave it aside for another time. This can give you an opportunity to allow you to receive their contact info e.g. phone number, email address etc.
When talking to someone, talk about things you have in common. Just don’t keep talking about the same subject, or your conversations will be just dull and repetitive. Keeping with current events is also helpful, because it can be used as a conversation starter.
If you’re in a group of people, don’t just talk to the people you are familiar with. Talk with the entire group.
Part Seven – Conclusion
I feel like I should end this at lucky number 7.
I have basically wrote everything a shy guy needs to do, in order to gain confidence, so I will just have a quick sum up.
- Have your own LIFE.
- Don’t be afraid to do things you would not usually do.
- Face the fact that the world isn’t perfect like a movie.
- Don’t be a needy, clingy, creepy lil b----.
- Do things for yourself, not for someone else.
- Don’t be afraid to have multiple targets.
- Stop the creepy emo look if you got one and stay away from the music altogether.
- Make more friends.
I think that’s it.
If you read all of this and don’t apply any of this, then CONGRATULATIONS! I just wasted your time.
誰かが好きならは，ハートのかわりにまるの中に書きます
really interesting 
