[yeah]

I just want to ask you guys why did you do it? and is the experience of living by yourself worth it? I have trouble justifying paying +$1000/month on rent and utilities, when I can just live at home for free.
It just feels like I should be living on my own now; since I have just graduated from college.

[UglyIsBeautiful]

It's good thing you made a thread about this because you're asking someone who went through the exact same thing.

In my university years, I had stayed home because I went to a uni that was in the same city as where I lived. And being a poor student, it was ideal to live at home. When I graduated, I found a job in the same city as well. In the first year that I started working, I lived with my parents but I started feeling really uncomfortable about it.

It's not that I have an incredible social life where it would be advantageous for me to live alone. I hardly have a social life at all. It had more to do with privacy and having the freedom to do what I want with my life. After 5 years of living at home during my uni years, it took its toll. I wasn't on good on terms with my parents. We had a lot of conflicts.

But on the other hand, I thought that living at home has its advantages. Mainly money. But it got to a point where I just couldn't take it anymore. I've never been independent. Always had my parents to depend on. I wanted to sprout my wings. It no longer became an issue of practicality, it became an issue of spirituality. I wanted freedom.

So I moved out. It wasn't easy. The days before I was due to move out, I was like, "I think I'm making a big mistake."

I've been living alone for almost a year now. Do I regret it? Well as with all things, there are advantages and disadvantages. Living alone isn't easy. Financially, its tough. I'm still learning the ropes on how to manage my finances and save up for my long term goals such as purchasing a home. It's not easy. It's much easier to save money if you live with your parents. But its the little things that do make it worthwhile. I can do whatever I want, when I want. I can come home and take a nap without my mom nagging me. I have the freedom to experiment with different foods instead of eating whatever my mom makes. I can spend my time how I wish. I also live closer to work and so commuting is no longer an issue.

And believe it or not, your parents start to respect you more. Once you're independent and free of them, they start treating you with more respect.

And you become stronger and self-sufficient as a person. You're forced to figure things out more on your own since you gotta depend on yourself. And so you learn to become more resourceful. It's an adventure certainly. If you're planning to move out, do it now while you're young so that you have time to learn the ropes. Better to learn now than later when you can't afford to make as many mistakes.

[sasuke-kun]

im moving out definately, i cant stand the people in my household. i dont care about the money because i make enough anyways.

[van * yuriko]

i live on my own. barely scraping by. i used to make a lot of money but not anymore. =(

i did it because my dad wanted me to be independent. and i'm glad i did because i never realized how spoiled i was (not materially). now i know how to cook my own meals, go grocery shopping, and how to spend on necessary items instead of that $200 hoodie.

i don't go to school and i don't think i will get some high paying office job like a lot of people my age.

those people live at home while theyre at uni, and even continue to live there until they build up their careers, but they eventually buy their own homes.

but people like me tend to stay at home doing absolutely nothing, only making money for material things, and probably end up staying there until their parents die or kick them out.

i didnt want to be like that.

[ManhMon]

I have been away from my hometown to study university for about 2 years! At 1st, it was really hard and hurt to live apart from my family! But now, I'm quite familiar with this life and tend to like it!!! I think when coming back to my city, I will rent a house to live on my own! It's not because I have bad relationship with my family or st! I just think that it will be good for my life and my work! Anyway, I can come back to my house and stay for 2,3 days any time I want! Besides that, I can avoid arguments with my mother. We love each other so much but we don't get along well when talking or discussing! This will help create a happy atmosphere over the family always!!! ^^

(My grandma really disagrees! She just can't believe I will not live in our beautiful house!!! We are kind of Asian traditional family^^)

[W-K]

Imo theres no rush to move out unless you really need the independence or you need to get away from your fam.

Money is a pretty important issue, and while you gain a lot of advantages being on your own (re: growing up basically lol) you incurr a pretty significant disadvantage i.e. rent money is "money out" although..

You can get over the fact that rent money is an investment in your personal growth and not your financial growth then you're fine.

[You could also overcome paying "rent" by putting down a mortgage with some friends and getting a house... which is at least a financial investment but then you'd be living with roommates. (I like roommates better than living alone, its more fun)]

[watcher]

people have different reasons for moving out. i think it's a good experience, and gives you room to figure out life since you're on your own. i think if you have the means to move out, you should. i've overstayed my welcome at my folks place. they'd love to keep me home, but there comes a point where they're not just going to hold you back physically, but emotionally and mentally too.

i think unless you want to build some capital for a business plan or perhaps set aside a large sum of money in advance for a long term investment [like retirement], it would be worth it to just move out and live on your own. the experience will do you wonders [except of course if you or your family is in a financial pinch]

just wondering, what are you doing with the money you are saving up? i've put most of my savings in the market. though right now decided to go safe and do some high interest muni bonds my advisor found. but now that i'm moving out, i might just let my advisor deal with my finances while i go figure out my budget and other things in life that i wanna do. money's no use unless you spend it on things that are worthwhile, right

[709394]

I lived at home for high school and 2 years of college (transferred to a UC).
After living away from home, I realized that I will NEVER consider moving back.
Why?
My parent's house is in the boonies. I absolutely hate it there, theres nothing to do and I have no friends there anymore. I also am quite independent ...I've learned to keep track of my own finances and pay for everything myself...

luckily my parents haven't started asking me to give them allowances yet...my brother has though

[puppylove]

but people like me tend to stay at home doing absolutely nothing, only making money for material things, and probably end up staying there until their parents die or kick them out.

whats wrong with that?

[watcher]

whats wrong with that?

dunno... would you be willing to test out why?

[switchlanez]

To answer your question... I've got a friend my age who lives with his parents who will buy him a house and he will just help them pay it off. He's fine with that. I've got another friend my age who's parents want her to do the same but she wants to be independent and start off living privately, paying rent, and saving up for her own house without her parents' help. Both of their lifestyles will be very different but it's what floats their boat.

I found a job opportunity away from home. I would be saving TONS if I found a job and stayed home with the parents, but I just couldn't see myself enjoying that. I wanted so badly to move to this new place, starting out on my own, and I think I'm happier because of my decision. My brother who's quite younger than me but of legal age, on the other hand, isn't quite ready to leave the nest. But, just like the two other people in the above paragraph, he knows what he wants and I know what I want. You should decide what you can see yourself doing and follow that.

--
Now my personal rant:

After I started working I told myself I would immediately save all my money and throw huge sums in retirement and use the rest to pay back loans from my parents. But I wanted to enjoy life so that lasted for like... a month or two. So I stopped contributing to my Roth IRA and used it to go on a spree, enrolling in hobby-type classes and trying things I never had the time or money to do while I was still in school.

Well, that hype has recently settled down and right now I'm finding my equilibrium. I've cut back on buying things and doing costly activities. I'll put stuff back into Roth (hopefully max it out) while still having the occasional fun with frugality while still paying loans. The cost of living is so freaking high in the Bay Area and paying rent makes me mad... if I stick to saving I'll buy a house in a few years.

Watcher, didn't you post that you got a part time job just for fun? I'm thinking of doing that, too, for the weekends. Still deciding on what, though...

[watcher]

^ yea... i wrote that post. it's not a bad idea. kills time, earns you some pocket change, you meet people and on top of that, if you like what you do, it's not even work. i'm trying to go back into photography. upgrade my gear and start getting into event and modeling photography. i just gotta learn the tricks of the trade

[yeah]

Thank you all for the replies, I really appreciate it. A lot of interesting stories. keep them coming please

I've never thought about renting as an investment in "my personal growth" before, and I think it's a pretty cool idea.

If I was not renting, I would definitely be saving up for a condo of my own.

[puppylove]

dunno... would you be willing to test out why?

but, i am testing it out...2 years straight, in fact.

i'm like bubble boy now.

[UglyIsBeautiful]

the main thing is that you get to take 100% control of your life. When you live with your parents, even if they are very lenient, you still have to answer to them and it inhibits you from really taking control of your life and developing as an individual.

[watcher]

but, i am testing it out...2 years straight, in fact.

i'm like bubble boy now.

the case study goes until you get kicked out... good luck!

[4ever_sweet]

lol, i had this kind of conversation with my parents recently. I just graduated from College too, and got a job in the suburb of my local city. Because i got used to living by myself in college, I didn't want to move back home. When I told my parents this, they were very shocked. They just "expected" me to move back home. They asked me several times and tried to persuade me to just live at home until I get married (which they know will be many years from now!). I love my parents very much (and my siblings too), but I rather find my own place. Still, in the end, my younger sister will be living with me.

I would definitely recommend renting an apartment if you can handle it. You can always visit your parents anyways right?

[puppylove]

the case study goes until you get kicked out... good luck!

as long as someone's benefiting by my presence here, it ain't going to happen. BS info collection, blackmail, you name it. it's cult work. i love it.

i vote til a parent dies. then again, i dont' want to be here to clean up that mess. *smirk*.

[koneee]

well, you don't HAVE to live alone.
My brother moved out a couple of months ago with a couple of his friends and his girlfriend.
He seems to be doing well, with a stable job and everything. But then... he's helping to pay for my school tuition and my rent for school, so he's not really getting all that money... but my dad pays him back though.

Why not share a house with a friend or something, so you can split the cost of rent.

[Pogichinoy]

My only advice for you is to move out when you are financially stable, and buy rather than rent.