[confuSius]

just had a talk with my parents earlier and i thought i was gonna lose it!
my parents moved back to china years ago so we talk like once a week per skype. it actually improved our relationship as both parties now make an effort to understand each other more. however, they still force me to do things or play the guilt or rage game.... and it's mostly about things where a bit of rational thinking would easily suggest that what they want is just not gonna work. arrghh with conservative asian parents it's a miracle that we're not all psychopaths!
though some of my asian friends have a very good relationship with at least one parent as they grew up. still it's nothing like the best friend thing caucasians have. i also think it wouldn't work out for our generation because our parents are too much from a totally different world to accept the changes time brings.

so how's the relationship you guys have with your parents. anyone broke off contact completely because it was all just too much? how do you handle arguments with your parents? and what do you guys talk with each other about?

[AnikiJin]

My parents and I have probably great relationship more now than when I was a little guy. All my siblings moved out or living in another country, so for me, I am the only one around them. I feel great responsiblity to take care of them, so I remain close contact with them... I visit them at least once a week, and call them on the regular basis.

I am a grown up, and I don't argue with my parents anymore or vice versa. I am not even sure what to argue about at this point in my life with my parents since all we now care about is mainintaining great relationship and have a happy life together.

[anglvue]

my parents are conservative as well. seriously, i still have a freaking curfew and i'm in my 20s already! in high school, my mom and i were always at each other's throats, constantly arguing about everything from my clothes to afterschool activities. however, we have grown very close during college. i don't think i would call her my best friend but i think i can call her my friend now. i tell her just about everything and although we still argue at times, it is not as bad as it used to be.

my dad passed away in december and what i really regret is i didn't have as great a relationship with him. we had a good relationship when i started college but it was never like the one i had with my mom. he was always the authoritarian figure and that made it hard to relate to him.

growing up has really made me want to work harder on the relationship i have with mom even if she can't relate to many of the things i go through. there will always be that generation gap but i try not to let that get in the way too much.

[Meenuh]

my relationship with my parents is A LOT better than when i was in highschool. i think i can honestly say that i was at a point where i pretty much hated my mom. she always saw me as a failure in school and still considers that i haven't graduated highschool although i have my diploma and from the high school i actually attended.

i don't know how it happened or when it happens but our relationship got so much better. especially after i finished highschool. she's just more friendly now. before i would talk to her as though i were talking to a stranger with a lot of respect otherwise she'd get angry but these days i just talk to her like she's a friend. she still makes me mad but not to the point i hate her as much as i did when i was younger. i guess since i'm older now she sees me on more of an eye to eye level rather than as just a little kid. she still considers me a kid though. you know how parents are.

[Island]

I'm totally opposite. I feel like my relationship with my parents are going down the drain. I think it could be due to the fact that my parents are always having certain 'issues', which makes me not wanting to be around them. I still talk to them it's just that it can be a little awkward sometimes.

I still have a curfew and I'm 21 .___. My parents are really over protective. I'm jealous of my friends because they have much more freedom than me. Their parents just let them do whatever.

[theedqueen]

my parents are the conservative asian types too. I have an ok relationship with them, but I would say it's contingent on if I do what they want me to do. Well, rather what my dad wants me to do. My dad is demanding that I go to grad school right away after college and thinks that all entering grad students go when they're straight out of college and that you have no chance at success if you don't have some sort of secondary degree. Considering the fact that I'm planning on becoming an accountant I know that I don't need an MBA to become successful, but there's not convincing my dad. So I have to humor him saying that I will go to grad school, I have to wait until I'm financially independent until I can stand up to my dad so that he's not running my life. In the meanwhile I'm always super stressed about calling/going home because the instant I do I always get grilled about school/work/after college plans even though I've said the same things over and over again they always ask the same answers. It really stresses me out especially since my dad can be very dramatic whenever he reacts to something he likes which puts my mom under great stress too. That's why I don't call home as much as I should, because even though I love my mom very much and I know she likes to her my voice (and likewise) I know she's gonna hand that phone to my dad and he's gonna start asking me about grad school and telling me about his one friend who was an econ major and went to grad school right away.

[ALYSSA]

When I was younger, my mom & I have a love/hate relationship. She was a typical asian parents who doesn't approve of anything. Its all a bout school, stay home & no boyfriends. We will constantly get into arguments over stupid stuff .. And since I was not allowed to have any friends not to mention boyfriends .. I was constantly picking fights with her just because staying at home bored me to death. I was not allow to date, talk on the phone & she even question about my girLfriends.

It wasn't until I met my husband & moved to WA to be with him (Got married & pregnant) .. That is when things has changed. Now, our relationship is OK .. Not the best but better than before. When I was living in WA, our relationship has gotten closer. I find myself missing my mom a lot more. Calling her at least 2-3 times a week & having more to discussed.

As for my dad, since hes American we have a father/daughter relationship like no other. He doesn't say much about what I do but he'll let it be known that hes totally behind me on everything I do. My parents have the greatest relationship with my Son. They loved & spoiled him more than me & I don't mind.

[alley]

i think my relationship w. my parents is good.. my mom and i argue sometimes.. but other than that. it's ok~ i feel like my mom still treats me like im young~ she still wants to know what i do.. my friends' names and what they do.. bla bla bla. sure, sometimes it also feels like they don't see me as being 21yrs old and that gets me frustrated at times.. but i still have a great relationship w. them. im pretty close to my dad.. and even though he still sees me as 'his little girl'.. he gives me that space to be an adult and js do my thing~ but then again.. i wouldnt want them to completely treat me like an adult.. i gotta be spoiled by them sometimes.. haha =p

[tinasarangg]

i think it's cos we're older our parents don't look at us as 'just kids' anymore. i get along better with my parents since i party less and study more. i wish they'd just let me live cos if i'm out past 12am they'll blow up my cell phone every five minutes demanding i better drag my ass back home or they'll send the cops after me

[erure]

I don't know. My relationship with my dad has been always weird, because I haven't lived with him since I was 8 years old. He still lives in Korea, so he's very conservative. He's always telling me what to do and a lot of times, really immature. I have a good relationship with my mum, but I feel like she is a hypocrite a lot of the times. Like she tells me (and her friends) that she supports me in whatever I want to do with my life, but that's not true. When I expressed concerns about me not wanting to pursue a career in medicine, she nearly exploded.

[Unseen Choice]

Pretty much I have no relationship with my parents outside the holidays or check up calls, we always end up with some "issue" with my life that we disagree on. That's been going on since when I graduated high school and signed up for the military, after that there's always a giant rift between us now.

[mofo]

its still bad..it will get better hopefully in 5 years..

its very much my fault as well..i haven't grown up yet.

[Aerolite]

My relationship with my parents is very good, and has been since I was about 14 or so. The only difference that came with my age was how they limited me (curfews and other things like 'no boyfriend until after college'...but whatever). My parents aren't exactly traditional asian parents, as they wished for a lot of freedom when they were younger...Basically they were the ones who sought studies/professions against their parents will, but still couldn't, so they wanted to let me get into whatever field I wanted. My mom was raised more conservatively so she still tends to be biased and irrational sometimes. I don't have any arguments with my father...I'm still daddy's little girl according to him, and he's usually the one to reason with my mom when I can't.

I also have a brother who's five years older than me and has yet to graduate college (he stuck with the work+community college route out of high school), and so I'll be graduating before him. I was also the first one to really move out of home so in a way my brother and I are treated as equals in terms of maturity/accomplishment. Overall my parents trust and have faith in me so that's all I really need.

I'm actually VERY open with my parents, and like to tell them a lot of things that go on with my life just like they were my friends. That's with the exception of some 'bad' things, of course. I still hold hands with my mom whenever we cross the street or go shopping. I still cuddle with my dad on the couch when we watch TV. Lately, for me, it's about grasping on to parts of my childhood because I realize how old they're getting. They were both hospitalized this year so I'm already scared of being alone without them (all of my direct relatives are in the Philippines, so I'd just have my brother). Despite the rules my parents set for me they still told me that I shouldn't let them hold me back from anything--contradictory yes, but I knew what they meant and there were certain things I just shouldn't do at young ages. They always told me that I should never feel that I should owe them for giving me my life, which I think is really selfless of them. But I think they sacrificed so much for our family and I really want to repay them for how they raised my brother and I.

/sappy note

[babydorkee]

my relationship with my parents has gotten a lot better. i listen to them and they listen to me more now, maybe because i've shown growth and responsibility...and i also don't really live at home anymore due to college. but my relationship between my dad is still the same. we still get into random arguments whenever we're in the same room.

[ginger]

My relationship with my parents has always been fantastic. I love my parents so, so much and I know how much they care for me, too. My mom and I talk online when I'm at work and I call my dad when I have free time, too. Basically...it's the same, but on a different level now.

-ginger

[PaNgIeE]

Growing up I think my relationship with my parents were nothing more than a child to a parent. Now that I'm older, my relationship is different. I seem to be the one who's looking out for their welfare, instead of them looking out for mine. I love my parents and find a newfound admiration for them as well. Before when I was much younger I would hate that they wouldn't let me go out or complain about silly little things. Now, I can better understand why they do and say the things to me. They only want the best and as I've grown I can learn to appreciate their advices, understand their their sayings, and know about their worries. Without them I would not be where I am today. I know that now...

So, basically my relationship with my parents I see in a whole new light. They are my heros in so many ways and they are the ones who I know will always be there for me.

[kim421]

my relationship with my parents is... ok. i was closer to my mom than my dad, but my mom passed away earlier this year and now i'm trying to work on the relationship i have with my dad. it gets hard sometimes because now he's extra worried about me and my future. we just don't see eye to eye on what is considered 'successful' and he believes that having a career in the medical field is the only way to have a stable and successful life. i, of course do not agree and planning a career in the art field. lol. he hasn't been happy with my decision at all. every time i talk to him, he tries his best to convince me to change. i understand why he believes what he does, but he doesn't understand my point of view.. or just refuses to do so and that just makes me more determined to prove him wrong. other than that. we get along just fine - not sure if we have gotten closer or not since my mom passed... i don't think so. but he knows i'm always here for him and that i love him and vice versa.

i miss my interactions with my mom. our relationship wasn't like the best of friends, but she was such an amazing person i looked up to a lot, and learned so much from... we had many many yelling fights, but our relationship was always strong. we did get closer right before she passed. i just wished that i didn't have so many moments i regret now when looking back, but i'm glad we had an understanding of one another and knew how much we loved and cared for each other.

[Myss Blewm]

As much as I hear "it'll get better with time" I don't think I'll ever get along well with my parents. These days they're not so bad since I'm older and I'm not so angsty anymore lol but there are still times my parents get on my freggin nerves. They're usually the ones who pick the fight. In general, I try to limit my conversations with my parents to small things because I've discovered that they tend to find ways to pick a fight with me. When they do find a way to pick a fight with me (usually money is the topic), I generally stand my ground. I used to cry and tell them that I didn't do anything wrong. These days I roll my eyes and tell them upfront what's going on and it's not all my fault. When we aren't fighting, I guess things are okay. But again, I try to limit my conversations with my parents. I love my parents and I appreciate all that they've done for me, but I feel like they give me a hard time because I'm.....weird. And a bit of a reclusive person to the world. Not my fault that I was mostly ignored as kid. =__= Middle child syndrome. Sorry

[tonka]

i think it wasn't until after i shoved my mom down a flight of stairs that she finally understood i'm a grown ass woman. lols i'm kidding. but i did shove her which frightened her. i believe her exact words were,"what have i been feeding you for you to be this strong!?" i was so touched

haha anyways, i think my relationship with the parentals have gotten dramatically better. high school and before i lost weight was miserable times. but now i can joke around with them and even curse around them. haha i think since i pay for some of the bills they don't mind me going out and coming home in the wee hours of the morning. i'm the responsible child.

[hun_wun_gal]

^ o.o

anyways~ def no best friend relationship for my typical asian parents, i don't really connect with them either, they try to understand what i do when i try to explain but they just do not understand social stuff and things you can't see and things that differentiate you form a robot. i.e feelings, friends social etiquette etc. So we don't hug if there is a chance we do..........then for me it feels REALLLLY awkward because we rarely do anything like that.

I still get treated like i'm 12 in terms of curfew and whenever i say "i'm going out with uni friends" or basically someone they've never seen but i've talked about them alot they will always say stuff like don't stay out late why am i going out so much (once a week is alot to them) they'll slip stuff in your drink and take u for a mug and rob you blind, see i read in the paper some student made friends and they got abducted and robbed and murdered by their so called friends from uni blah blah blah

....thanks for letting me know mum ._."

maybe and that's MAYBE when i'm older than i already am and get to move out they might take me seriously cos then i'll be paying my own bills managing my own money and being more "responsible"...........i really CAN'T wait for that day long enough -.-