[chinkboye22]

i can understand stalking as bad when its like you're following someone home or peeking someone in the shower, trying to figure out they're every move

but..nowadays everything is almost considered stalking, say i like a girl and searched up her on facebook and just felt like reading stuff on her profile that is considered stalking
- say you find out your crush is working at some place and she's leaving to college, and u want to go up there to see her; stalking
- transferring to the same college as her, so maybe u see her and become friends; stalking

maybe im crazy which i am, but then wasn't life about chasing your dreams, its not like i have a shrine or taking pics of her secretly, i have good intentions but i guess without permission its always considered stalking?
sports and school is different, where i can try my best and give it everything i got to achieve what i want but girls..different, and don't tell me theres many fish in the sea cuz i don't want to hear it

i mean like in highschool, lets just says a girl used to like me, then i liked her, then she lost interest or totally forgot about me, then say a year later or few months later, i find her on myspace and add her, then i bump into her 3-5 times at school unintentionally, all of a sudden im the bad guy and the stalker! says the girl

i guess i am crazy or is the word stalker depend on how other people feel? or even so is it that bad? and plus don't move this to the general or love section, i want to hear good advice from ppl my age

[Raito!]

i dont think the girl is very friendly.

If she was then she would have say something like this

'" omg i remember you from high school
long time no see, how are the family doing?
what do you do now for a living? ...... ets....ets
...ets... ets
it is nice seeing your face again "

[justwildbeat]

^ I agree, that girl is overreacting for some reason. Maybe she finds this sudden attention/encounters odd and that something's up with you.

Well my idea of a stalker are those crazy, super obsessive people who pretty much follow and learn your every move. I tease friends about being Facebook stalkers but it's all in fun, however you'd be surprised how much info people put onto those pages. Aside from that, the example you gave is hardly enough to label you as a stalker.

[HtyPotter]

Girls want to accuse other people of stalking them for 2 reasons. 1) Because they're flattered that someone would be obsessed about them, and 2) so they can yell and make a huge fuss to their friends and strangers that some guy is obsessed about them, which only serves to enlarge their ego even more. After all, they need everyone to KNOW that they're that desirable.

It's also why girls like to share with other people the stories of creepy strangers hitting on them out of the blue. Sure, they were a little bothered by it, but they still want as many people in the world to know that they got hit on as humanly possible.

[chinkboye22]

so say transferring to the same college as her, so maybe u see her and become friends or joining a club that you know she's in just to meet and see her, would that be really considered stalking? is it bad?

i mean i know ppl join frats and clubs to meet new friends and to get a social life
man i don't know, im not saying will do it but it does linger in my head, on how hard i should try to get what i want, i cannot just let life take its course, i want to change for the better and i must take initiative, i've waited too long and done nothing and been in a rut for many years in my life

[Sweetraindrops]

i can understand stalking as bad when its like you're following someone home or peeking someone in the shower, trying to figure out they're every move

but..nowadays everything is almost considered stalking, say i like a girl and searched up her on facebook and just felt like reading stuff on her profile that is considered stalking
- say you find out your crush is working at some place and she's leaving to college, and u want to go up there to see her; stalking
- transferring to the same college as her, so maybe u see her and become friends; stalking

maybe im crazy which i am, but then wasn't life about chasing your dreams, its not like i have a shrine or taking pics of her secretly, i have good intentions but i guess without permission its always considered stalking?
sports and school is different, where i can try my best and give it everything i got to achieve what i want but girls..different, and don't tell me theres many fish in the sea cuz i don't want to hear it
i mean like in highschool, lets just says a girl used to like me, then i liked her, then she lost interest or totally forgot about me, then say a year later or few months later, i find her on myspace and add her,

dontt knoww bout you.. butt the mee that stalk man...

dont go add or go see her outta blue... no wonder shee say you stalk.. lol..

BAD MOVEE..

now.. when girl stalk that ok.. when guy stalk that no ok.. suck huh.. lol

[Meenuh]

i guess it really depends on the person. if they feel uncomfortable with you then they may call you a stalker. or maybe even their friends. i don't think it's wrong that you go somewhere to see someone but atleast strike up a conversation and just look from afar. if she is uncomfortable with it then just leave her be.

the girl in you case ... she obviously overreacted. she could've been nicer. also ... you said you unintentionally bumped into her and she started assuming all this after you added her on MYSPACE? she needs to grow up. next time she says something like that tell her plain & simple. stop flattering yourself

[W-K]

There's a line between real stalking and what people like to joke around as stalking.. ... figure she just either doesn't want to talk to you or she's just kidding..

[suki_*]

She's full of herself, don't worry you're not stalking.

real stalking gets hella creepy... to a point that their prey becomes a dangerous obsession. I just think the term stalking has been desensitized over the years that's why everything is 'stalking' nowadays...

[Ji_Eunie]

Wait, are you transferring to that college JUST to be with her? Or are you going because it's a better school/better program you're pursuing or for a number of other reasons? The reason why I'm asking is because you might want to reconsider if you're transferring because she's the only reason.

Everything else you wrote doesn't sound like stalking to me. I personally think people use words way too flippantly these days. I cringe whenever I overhear someone saying something really offensive like, "Oh man, that test RAPED me." I think "stalker" has branched out from its original misdemeanor term like that too.

I think if you really like someone and you find them worth all the trouble, you don't need to be playing any games. I hate mind games. If that person turns out to be as amazing as you anticipated, then "stalk" away. =)

[JJM]

Like rape, stalking has been taken out of context in this day and age. Just look at someone wrong and you'll be accused of something. It shouldn't be taken lightly, but c'mon. Some people think you're stalking them if you run into them in a store more than once. Now if you're a girl and you run into the same guy in the women's bathroom... red flag!

[chiyo]

There's a line between real stalking and what people like to joke around as stalking.. ... figure she just either doesn't want to talk to you or she's just kidding..

yeah. when she says "you're stalking" her, that doesn't mean you are REALLY stalking her in the criminal way.

however when she says that, that just probably means that she is annoyed by you and that she is not interested in you. some girls even go so far to say stuff like they're "molested", when a guy is a little too persistent. in a way they DO have a point, when they say this (even though they're obviously exaggerating). they say this, to signify that they want you to stop and that they do not like you. so it's best if you just leave them alone.

if she doesn't want you to follow her. then leave her alone. there's a lot of other girls out there

[JDM6]

"Stalking" is such a creepy word. I prefer to use the term obsessively overshadowing.

Have you made contact with her at least? As long as you're not the dude that she see quietly staring at her in randomly different places, your good. If not, start with a "Hi" as you pass by nonchalantly and work your way up from there. That way, you're not labelled the creepy guy.

I thinks it's cool if you add someone on facebook or myspace after not seeing them for a while. Rekindling a old friendship is a good thing, right?

[Sweetraindrops]

CHINK-BOY... LMAO

the girll no like you man...

"Stalking" is such a creepy word. I prefer to use the term obsessively overshadowing.

Have you made contact with her at least? As long as you're not the dude that she see quietly staring at her in randomly different places, your good. If not, start with a "Hi" as you pass by nonchalantly and work your way up from there. That way, you're not labelled the creepy guy.

I thinks it's cool if you add someone on facebook or myspace after not seeing them for a while. Rekindling a old friendship is a good thing, right?

this aint bout guy and guy stuff...all guy got no problem about stuff like that... but girlss... YEA

guy/girl bothh diff..

[JDM6]

this aint bout guy and guy stuff...all guy got no problem about stuff like that... but girlss... YEA

guy/girl bothh diff..

I know guys don't care, but beg to differ with girls also. She'd really have to be stuck up and full of herself to actually consider that stalking. But yeah, I would never request an add of a female that I see daily without actually having some sort of a positive status with her.

[ginger]

I don't consider checking out someone's facebook stalking. What I *DO* consider stalking is when someone says, "Hey, friend is totally obsessed with you. He checks your facebook every day and makes us look at all your new pictures. He knows all the classes you're in, who your friends are, etc." For me, that is creepy. It's not flattering, it's creepy. The fact that sometimes, people don't make an effort to really get to know you, but would prefer to quietly watch, is what makes it different from having a guy who has a regular crush.

Another example: this guy liked one of my friends. He kept saying how beautiful she was, went to all of her sorority parties, and so forth. She was pretty flattered because he was really cute, but it got way out of hand. Eventually, she found out he had PLACED A VIDEO CAMERA IN HER BATHROOM so he could watch her when she showered. They traced it back to him--he must have planted it there when he came over to help her study. He was actually her college ORIENTATION ADVISER. Now THAT is fecked up.

-ginger

[suki_*]

I don't consider checking out someone's facebook stalking. What I *DO* consider stalking is when someone says, "Hey, friend is totally obsessed with you. He checks your facebook every day and makes us look at all your new pictures. He knows all the classes you're in, who your friends are, etc." For me, that is creepy. It's not flattering, it's creepy. The fact that sometimes, people don't make an effort to really get to know you, but would prefer to quietly watch, is what makes it different from having a guy who has a regular crush.

Another example: this guy liked one of my friends. He kept saying how beautiful she was, went to all of her sorority parties, and so forth. She was pretty flattered because he was really cute, but it got way out of hand. Eventually, she found out he had PLACED A VIDEO CAMERA IN HER BATHROOM so he could watch her when she showered. They traced it back to him--he must have planted it there when he came over to help her study. He was actually her college ORIENTATION ADVISER. Now THAT is fecked up.
-ginger

this is what real stalking is.... unni that guy is NUTS!

[little mixed girl]

i didn't totally get the gist of that post.
but, if someone is transferring universities so they can try to be with someone, and if they are following people at work, then yes, that's weird.

if both parties like each other, then there's not much of a problem, but if one person isn't feeling the same thing, then best to let it go.
i've had men twice my age follow me around at work, wait around in areas that i walk and go around trying to invite me to places and it was not fun and i was not impressed.

if you're not friends with someone, i don't think there's any reason why you would check their facebook a bunch of times.
i've looked through ppls pages, but i don't go back to them...

[str8upyangsterr]

IM GUESSING THIS GIRL IS A LITTLE TOO INTO HERSELF...
OR JUST STRAIGHT OUT PARANOID.

AN EXAMPLE OF STALKING (IN MY OPINION) IS WHEN A GUY WHO WORKS IN THE SAME BUILDING AS YOU.. STOPS BY UR DESK AND UR OTHER WORK PLACE (ON THE BOTTOM FLOOR.. BECAUSE I WORKED AT 2 DIFFERENT PLACES IN THE SAME BUILDING).. JUST TO SAY HI.. OR JUST TO BUY A CUP OF COFFEE.. WHICH IS OKAY!
THEN. HE SEES YOU SITTING ON THE COUCH.. AT THE COFFEE SHOP AT WHICH U WORK AT.. BUT UR NOT WORKING AT THE TIME.. AND SITS ON THE SAME COUCH AS YOU. JUST TO HAVE SMALL TALK... WEIRD RIGHT? THERE ARE OTHER UNOCCUPIED COUCHES AROUND.. BUT HE DECIDES TO SIT ON THE SAME ONE AS U!
THEN.. HE ADDS YOU ON FACEBOOK..
THEN!!! HE STARTS SENDING YOU MESSAGES ON FACEBOOK REGARDING 'WHATS GOING ON THIS WEEKEND' AND HOW 'I SHOULD CHECK OUT THIS NEW LOUNGE WITH HIM' OR WHAT NOT..
NOT ONLY IS THIS GUY KINDA REALLY WANTING TO SPEND TIME WITH ME.. HES LIKE 20 YEARS OLDER THAN ME TOO!!! W E I R D !!!

OK.. SO HE KEEPS WALKING BY MY WORK PLACE.. AND EVEN WHEN IM NOT AT WORK. BUT AROUND THE COFFEESHOP HANGING OUT.. DOING HW OR READING.. HE WALKS AROUND.. LOOKS FOR ME... AND WHEN HE FINDS OUT WHERE I AM SITTING.. HE PRETENDS HE DOESNT SEE ME.. AND WALKS AWAY...

HE KEPT ON SENDING FACEBOOK MESSAGES ABOUT THIS AND THAT.. AND GETS REALLY ANNOYING.. HE ALSO STARTS TALKING ABOUT HOW HE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A DIVORCE AND IS REALLY LONELY AND DEPRESSED.. W T F?!

SO I TOLD MY BOSS.. AND SHE TOLD HIS BOSS.. AS WELL AS THE SECURITY IN THE BUILDING..

AND THEN HE MESSAGES ME AGAIN.. APOLOGIZING ABOUT HOW HE ACTED.. BUT HE CANT HELP IT BECAUSE HES SO ATTRACTED OR BLAHBLAHBLAHHHH..

I THINK THAT WOULD BE STALKING..

LOL

[awdark]

I don't find it all that stalkerish.
I just know that girls don't like it when someone to knows more information than they are given. Doesn't matter if its interest to figure out what they like or what to talk about... thats stalkerish and baddd even if its just 3 clicks of google or facebook away. Perhaps I am too timid in that regard which is why I don't really know girls in real life. The ones I can chat with are far away and from the internet.