[sandra08]

Hi, all, I have a teenage daughter. Thank goodness, she is the greatest girl! The problem lies with her "friends" at school. She has met some girls and boys that have treated her "so nice" saying awesome things about her, then turn around and tell her mean things like saying she is ugly. She is very mature for her age, when it comes to dealing with people. She responded back to them maturely telling them that it was very rude and not nice and she has decided not to communicate or deal with these types of people anymore. They apologized, but she still stood her ground and said NO.

Now she has met a "new girl" that she has been hanging around at school that has told her that other kids were making fun of her clothes and hair style last year.

Most of the kids that go to her school are middle to upper to higher class kids. With clothes ranging from Hollister, Ambercrombie, Baby Phat...and that live in mansions and get anything they want. You get the picture...snooty.

I don't care, they are well to do, but it seems that they are just that .... Snooty.

What advise do you have? Just let her make her own decisions, as she has been? What can I do to get her meeting other people, nice kids? Other activities?

Just don't know what is up with these kids these days!

Thanks

[sarah#]

well since I'm a teenager myself, I wouldn't know what to tell!
Things like that happens here too, it's just that some kids (as you name them) need high school (or primary school) soo they can make themselves feel like they are somethin' bigger then others, it's better to the stay away from 'em!

I would say, just let her make her own decisions, she'll know what works best for her, but hey I'm just a teenager!

[Chavez]

Hi, all, I have a teenage daughter. Thank goodness, she is the greatest girl! The problem lies with her "friends" at school. She has met some girls and boys that have treated her "so nice" saying awesome things about her, then turn around and tell her mean things like saying she is ugly. She is very mature for her age, when it comes to dealing with people. She responded back to them maturely telling them that it was very rude and not nice and she has decided not to communicate or deal with these types of people anymore. They apologized, but she still stood her ground and said NO.

Now she has met a "new girl" that she has been hanging around at school that has told her that other kids were making fun of her clothes and hair style last year.

Most of the kids that go to her school are middle to upper to higher class kids. With clothes ranging from Hollister, Ambercrombie, Baby Phat...and that live in mansions and get anything they want. You get the picture...snooty.

I don't care, they are well to do, but it seems that they are just that .... Snooty.

What advise do you have? Just let her make her own decisions, as she has been? What can I do to get her meeting other people, nice kids? Other activities?

Just don't know what is up with these kids these days!

Thanks

Hey Sandra08,

Well, people are just people, and they won't change. There will always be those kids who act that way, immaturely, and then there will always be kids like your daughter. It's how the world works. Her decision is correct in my point of view, and she should not talk to them if they appear to be nice infront of her, and backstab her as soon as she is gone. As long as she knows that those kids are of no importance and she can see past their immaturity, she should be extremely happy and so should you! The only activity I can come up with is joining a gym perhaps, she'll feel great, get fit (if she is not already), and be very confident.

I hope this helps:)

[Mardi09]

i agree that you should just let her make her own decisions, friend-wise. That's how she'll learn how to think independently and have an experience of cruel people and nice people. Unless a situation gets out of hand should you be involved but other than that, i guess it's fine for her to pick her own people to hang out with.

[lolololitslight]

Hiyoo!

Uh I wouldn't know what to do cause I'm one as well. Not exactly the richest kid either T_T
but uh just let her make her own decisions. She'll realized who are her real friends& separate that from the poopie heads. From the way your talking about her, she seems like she can handle it.

Good luck! ^^

[wigglelin]

I think you should just let her make her own decisions because she'll be making decisions all her life.
She mine as well go through this herself so she can definitely learn from it. Besides, parents can't always be there
for their kids...and they definitely can't keep them away from the dangers of the world.
Kids these days are just gonna be that way...it all now just depends on how you take it all in.

[Mirae-chan]

That's just the way they are.. those type of people were in my school too and when they're around me and have to talk to me, and I'm sort of a black sheep, they'll say "hi" and usually something nice but really I know from their tone they're making fun of me lol.. I don't really care but it is annoying, because it's like they act like they're better than me just because I don't wear A&F or American Eagle or Hollister or whatever lol..

[laughable]

We can't do anything about it, and this all comes down to learning how life really is.

[tray songz!]

I'm a teenager too, but when it comes to the "snooty" kids I just tend to avoid them
the only way I think I was able to do this was by joining volleyball.
when you're on a sports team everyone watches your back and makes sure you don't get involved with those kind of people
so maybe if she joins a sport she'll be exposed to more people?

[ILuVTiTTiEZ]

Dang them raging hormons....and losing their identities.....

[DOVAHKIIN]

This topic is better off in the 20+ section, moving it there!

so you minors best not post in there after this post or Aziraphale will have your heads!

anyone else who posted above me is safe from getting warned.

[je_amourx]

Sandra, I've been through that age. Kids can be really harsh on each other,but that is something your daughter will learn and have to be face with a lot more. You should let her be, make her own decisions, but of course - you should still give her support and lead her to the right track. It's basically, something to learn in life and she happens to be facing it right now. It only gets worse .... so to speak.

Good luck!

[Yubumsuk]

The one thing that probably makes a bigger difference in teens' lives than any other - their friends - is unfortunately something that their parents and teachers have very little control over. I've seen teenage girls go through considerable personality changes with a change of friends, both for better and for worse. However, there's one thing you can be pretty sure of: if your daughter develops bad friendships it may or may not result in long-term negative behavioural changes; however, if she develops a bad family it almost certainly will.

At least in America teenagers have the opportunity to make friends at many other places besides school. You might want to see if she's interested in signing up for some other sort of activity where she can meet new people who don't already have her stereotyped as this or that.

[chiyo]

i agree that you should just let her make her own decisions, friend-wise. That's how she'll learn how to think independently and have an experience of cruel people and nice people. Unless a situation gets out of hand should you be involved but other than that, i guess it's fine for her to pick her own people to hang out with.

agreed. i think we all have been through situations like this and it's best if she learns how to decided things on your own. the best thing you can do, is to be there for her when she is down or needs advice. just comfort her when she feels bad.

i also agree to Yubumsuk. you could suggest her to sign up for clubs or other activities, where she can meet new people with the same interests as her. that is, if she wants of course

[W-K]

agreed. i think we all have been through situations like this and it's best if she learns how to decided things on your own. the best thing you can do, is to be there for her when she is down or needs advice. just comfort her when she feels bad.

i also agree to Yubumsuk. you could suggest her to sign up for clubs or other activities, where she can meet new people with the same interests as her. that is, if she wants of course

I agree with the clubs or other activities areas as money is a divider for those people but mutual interest can be found elsewhere... and more probably in the hopes of minimizing the impact of financial background on a person's image.

At least your daughter is learning how to play the political game of life.

[watcher]

i think sincerity, humility and friendship are principles that you can teach by example in your life, and by showing the positive effects of these virtues, your daughter can at least know of these lasting principles on how to live a good life. perhaps somewhere along the line, she can stay true to herself and decide to live by these principles too.

it also helps to have a strong relationship with your daughter. people tend to mimic their loved ones.

but if things go bad, it's not a bad thing to make a firm stance and be confrontational until the issue is resolved.

[suki_*]

I think as a teenager a mature one like your daughter does need such experiences to grow and make better decisions on who to trust and keep accountable for. These snooty kids are here for a reason, if you try to disrupt the natural learning path of what she is exposed to, she might never learn.

If you do want her to do extracurriculars outside of that environment, then go right ahead, it never really hurts to meet new people and make new friends, but every neighborhood has their good and bad. It's really up to your daughter to make her decisions in who she wants to be friends with and how she will handle those problems, just be there to support her like a mother should

it's all part of the learning process, no pain, no gain. we've all been there done that, the ones who turned out fine know better in the future and came out stronger, be there to encourage her to do the same

good luck!

[mofo]

high school is over in four years.
just tell her to hang in til then.
she doesn't have to hang out with anyone if she doesn't want to.
she can always join choir, band, sport teams, drama club, etc if she wants to have friends or keep herself busy.

[HydeistKeri]

I hated high school. My answer to the question posed in the subject line is this...many people are a**h**** but as they get older they learn to cover that up more so they can be generally accepted by society. As teenagers, though, they are not quite yet as adept at hiding what total d****b*** they are and it comes out sometimes. Sometimes genuinely kind and innocent people happen to be in the line of fire when the bad sides of others come out. Teenagers are also pack animals in general and will take down anyone outside of their pack if doing so impresses their other packmates. Ah...sad to say..teenagers are animals.

By the way I have two teenage cousins and I love them to death. The above is just a rant (I was a teenager, after all, not TOO many years ago lol)

[AnikiJin]

SO no more intruder alerts on these teens posted here, huh?

I don't like teenager myself. The faster they learn the society will not accept you rotten spoiled little brats, the better they will become.