[UglyIsBeautiful]

Every guy has this image of the ideal girl for him in his mind. I haven't gone completely off the deep end yet as I don't talk to her or something. But just the thought is interesting.

Have you ever created your ideal girl in your mind? If so, how often does she appear in your thoughts? Most of the time, I'm normal but there are times like when I'm in public and there are a lot of couples walking around or if I'm at a party or in other awkward social situations, I recall the girl I have in my mind and imagine she's beside me and I feel better.

This doesn't happen often though. Last time I checked, I'm not schizophrenic. People just tell me I have a very big imagination. I don't think I'm crazy or anything. But there are times when I'm sitting alone in my room on a weekend morning and just start to trance out while listening to music and my mind goes places and I can't control it.

[None]

I don't think you're crazy man, but my imaginary girl has no qualities other than something sexually gratifying and thus I feel too guilty to talk about her.

[UglyIsBeautiful]

My imagination is more elaborate than that. My imaginary girl actually has a personality! Crazy, eh? But this is years and years of imagining here. It's like creating a character in a movie.

I'm not desperately lonely or anything. I don't really MIND being single. And I'll likely be single forever since my standards are too high and I'm unable to lower them. So this imaginary girl I created is just there when I feel like I'm about to lose it.

[HERMIT]

I had an imaginary girlfriend once but she ran off with my imaginary friend.

[HtyPotter]

i have the image of an ideal girl in my head, but no, I don't pretend she exists whenever I'm in awkward social situations.

[sasuke-kun]

dude, thats a little extreme. its one thing to imagine how your future girl will be like...thats more like daydreaming... but its another thing to imagine her when you need to be comforted in awkward, social situations...

[uhhuh_5]

It seems more like a coping mechanism for you to imagine your "ideal girl" next to you when you feel uncomfortable. Though you may think it's helping you during those periods of awkwardness the more you allow your mind to get into that imaginary state it can become unhealthy. The more time you spend in that state of mind the more comfortable you get and the harder it will be to find someone you're compatible with since you may always compare qualities of a real girl to those of the girl in your mind. You may end up looking over a girl who's right for you but different from your ideal girl because she doesn't quite match the qualities you think you have in mind. Sorry, if I sounded preachy but I use to daydream and think too much (well, I still tend to get carried away with my thinking) and it would just mess with my head, creating expectations of things that would never happen. And when they don't you become even more disappointed.

[khoallister]

My imaginary girlfriend is Yoobin! Oh so perfect....

[suki_*]

I think it's kind of dangerous on your part to live on with this imaginary girl, the more intrinsic value you created in her, the higher your already high standards will grow. As much as she is making you happy, you also need to realize that it's one person's imperfections that you need to find perfect in order to really love them~

no one is perfect, imagining someone in your 'perfect' might be a bit too perfect for the real world you know?

it seems all fun and great having the perfect girl in your mind with personality, but it's also unhealthy in the long run.

[lilyrose]

I had an imaginary girlfriend once but she ran off with my imaginary friend.

You need to pick better imaginary friends. That last one was lousy. Running off with other people's imaginary girlfriends is not cool .

[HydeistKeri]

I had a very elaborate dream about an imaginary guy once (and no it wasn't one of "those" kinds of dreams ). He and I had this whole backstory and everything. It was like somewhere in my subconscious I had been constructing this other life and it came out in the dream (either that or I just really made up a big story on the fly in my dream). This guy and I were married and living in some very scenic small town. I remember lots of details too like the outdoor shopping center lining this street with trees and houses on the other side. He made furniture part-time (like handcrafted stuff...the last thing I remember him making was this elaborate baby carriage for a pregnant lady in the dream) and worked at a shop kind of like those "Romancing the Stone" shops part-time. I went to visit him at work one morning and I stopped on the walkway leading to the row of shops..there was this street running perpendicular to the street with the shops and I stopped there behind a van where someone was unloading the baby carriage he had made and I heard a lot of commotion. I ran and turned the corner towards the shop where he worked and I saw a bunch of ppl crowded around and I realized one of the customers of the shop had shot him and he died outside the store on the sidewalk. I cried so hard in the dream that I woke up later and my throat hurt from the repressed sobs in my throat.

Anyway there was a lot more to the dream than that but my point is...this guy was very real! It was someone I had never met before and yet I woke up with his name in my head and a clear image of what he looked like, his personality, how tall he was. It really stuck in my mind to the point that I remember the details to this day. It was like I had created an imaginary boyfriend somewhere in the back of my mind where even I wasn't aware that I had done so. I remember in the dream he visited me after he died in a dream (within my dream) and apologized for our time being cut short. He said we had lived several lives together..sometimes we found each other, sometimes we didnt..sometimes we had a long life together, sometimes we were separated by outside forces. He assured me that we would find each other again; he was very confident about it and had a smile the whole time...

Elaborate dreams lol...overactive imagination, huh??? Too much time on my hands, I guess. Anyway, I know what you mean. it doesnt seem to me an indication of any mental illness...but, then again, does a crazy person know they're crazy?

[.moony.]

Hm no I never created imaginary gf or bf. I don't even think much bout my ideal bf either.
But I do see where you are coming from with the whole imagination thing. I often write a story/drama of a specific character in my head when I'm bored or listening to music. but its because I read a lot of stories/books so I'm kind of like a writer running off with my imagination.

but I do think it's a lil weird if you create an imaginary gf and think she's besides you. Dont go too far with these kinds of thoughts. Like suki said it will heighten your already high standards, and it can be bad if you sink too deep into your own little imaginary world.
And believe it or not, you can always control your mind.

[wantan]

Most of the time, I'm normal but there are times like when I'm in public and there are a lot of couples walking around or if I'm at a party or in other awkward social situations, I recall the girl I have in my mind and imagine she's beside me and I feel better.

by what you say, you seem to feel pressured by the fact, that other people are in a relationship and you're not.
do you feel uncomfortable because you feel that others may look down on you? or do you just wish somebody to rely on?
do you do any sports?

[cavil.]

I think it's kind of dangerous on your part to live on with this imaginary girl, the more intrinsic value you created in her, the higher your already high standards will grow. As much as she is making you happy, you also need to realize that it's one person's imperfections that you need to find perfect in order to really love them~

no one is perfect, imagining someone in your 'perfect' might be a bit too perfect for the real world you know?

it seems all fun and great having the perfect girl in your mind with personality, but it's also unhealthy in the long run.

Ding ding ding. We have a winner.

Adding to that, it's a retarded idea.

[GO!zilla]

errrrrrrr... this kinda reminds me of the people that have dolls as girlfriends/wife etc.
that documentary was kinda freaky haha...

sorry to say, i never imagined up my "perfect" girl/gf.

[sasuke-kun]

I think it's kind of dangerous on your part to live on with this imaginary girl, the more intrinsic value you created in her, the higher your already high standards will grow. As much as she is making you happy, you also need to realize that it's one person's imperfections that you need to find perfect in order to really love them~

no one is perfect, imagining someone in your 'perfect' might be a bit too perfect for the real world you know?

it seems all fun and great having the perfect girl in your mind with personality, but it's also unhealthy in the long run.

suki is right but more than imagining a girl and creating high standards, i think its worse that youre relying on an imaginary person for emotional support. you should express your feelings, rather than bottling them up. you say that youre not lonely and you dont mind being single. from what i see, you are lonely and youre denying it to act like youre strong on the outside. i think you need to be true to yourself first before anything. if youre lonely, say it. theres nothing wrong with being lonely, everyone feels lonely during their lives.

another reason youre imaging a girl and setting your standards high may be that youre afraid of rejection. if you set your standards high, youll never be rejected by a girl. by imagining someone, you have someone who will never reject you or leave you. rather than being single due to every girl you know or tried to get with rejecting you, youre going to be single because you are forcing yourself to be single.

[XlYesterdaYlX]

i have a type. i don't ahve an invisible GF though.

[UglyIsBeautiful]

suki is right but more than imagining a girl and creating high standards, i think its worse that youre relying on an imaginary person for emotional support. you should express your feelings, rather than bottling them up. you say that youre not lonely and you dont mind being single. from what i see, you are lonely and youre denying it to act like youre strong on the outside. i think you need to be true to yourself first before anything. if youre lonely, say it. theres nothing wrong with being lonely, everyone feels lonely during their lives.

another reason youre imaging a girl and setting your standards high may be that youre afraid of rejection. if you set your standards high, youll never be rejected by a girl. by imagining someone, you have someone who will never reject you or leave you. rather than being single due to every girl you know or tried to get with rejecting you, youre going to be single because you are forcing yourself to be single.

I think its safe to admit you're lonely on the internet than it is in real life. In real life, there are cruel people. Sure, there are nice people as well. But you have to chose carefully who you reveal your real feelings to. Some will use it against you personally because they did not like you in the first place. Or there will be people who will use it to judge you as a person. Of course there will be sympathetic understanding people as well but sometimes its hard to distinguish who will be understanding and who will use it against you.

I have a preference and a type and when I meet someone who fits that type, something in my mind tells me she's too good for me and I ruin my chances before I even attempted it. So you're right, I do it to stave off rejection. I'm enormously frightened of rejection. I would rather face possible death than to be rejected. Why? If you think about it , rejection is no big deal. A girl rejects you. Says you're not her type. Oh well, who cares, right? For me, its more complicated like that. It's like the end of the world.

Perhaps I have low self-esteem? I'm not sure because I can be confident about other things in life. Perhaps just low self-esteem when dealing with girls. I am sick and tired of people telling me that there is something wrong with me and that I must fix myself. If I knew how to fix myself, wouldn't I have done it already? Maybe this is just my personality. Maybe this is the way I am. So why is it so hard for others to accept this? That this is the way I am?

[RawrRawr]

lol, sounds like God.



I'm Christian, but this really sounds like God. Think about it. lol

[ginger]

I think it's kind of dangerous on your part to live on with this imaginary girl, the more intrinsic value you created in her, the higher your already high standards will grow. As much as she is making you happy, you also need to realize that it's one person's imperfections that you need to find perfect in order to really love them~

no one is perfect, imagining someone in your 'perfect' might be a bit too perfect for the real world you know?

it seems all fun and great having the perfect girl in your mind with personality, but it's also unhealthy in the long run.

I agree. While I'm not usually one to knock someone else's imagination (because mine can be quite weird and overblown sometimes), you start to tread in more gray areas when you do things that pull an imaginary being into real life situations with you. I'm not trying to be mean or say that you're crazy, but when we studied multiple personality disorder in my criminology classes, the second personality was almost always created when the person was feeling pressured, bullied, or lonely. The imaginary character became like a comfort blanket that the person began to turn to increasingly for reassurance in nervous situations, so that it became harder and harder for that person to break with the imaginary. Eventually, they resulted in a second personality that was sometimes dominant over the original. I'm not saying that this is going to happen to you, but for some people, it does, and can become very...tricky.

-ginger