[LUX.]

solved-ish! thanks everyone!

[!L0VE]

i'm a sophomore in college & up until now, i haven't made any "close" friends. i just talk to people in my classes but nothing more. all my friends from high school go to different schools but i mean, it doesn't really matter since we still manage our times to meet up and hangout like the good 'ol days :] soo, if you don't keep in touch with your hs friends then i'm sure you'll make a friend soon? & like you said, college just started..so you don't really know anybody yet haha. idk..i probably didn't help at all XD

[XtremeNuisance]

Just tell them straight up that you want them out at a certain time. You ARE paying for your education and once you graduate high school, almost everyone is a legal adult. They should act like it when you give them a rule for your room.

And if you feel bad about doing that, you can say you had a talk with your roommate and you wanted people out of your room at x:xx time. Last year, I found that honesty works wonders (I found that out a LITTLE too late, but whatever) and that people will understand. And if they don't want to talk to you after, they are most definitely not your friend. But, seriously, if you're as social as it seems like, I don't think you should have any problems. Good luck.... (I hoped that helped a little bit...)

[PDURRR]

my social life doesn't exist lol i'm a 2nd year but yeah whatever..i needa concentrate on school anyways lol

[ibooyou]

Well, I'm a sophomore and my social life is much better this year. I'm putting myself out there more and actually hanging out with people and getting to know them. However, I still have a problem with being awkward and shy.... Last year, I used to room with my sister so I never got out of my little comfort bubble and made any friends. I mean, I had some friends but they weren't like... close, you know? I'd talk to them but I rarely ever hung out with them. I was just so obsessed with playing my MMORPG and watching my Asian dramas/movies that I never left my room at all except for classes and to get food. But this year I want to make things different. I want to be more social and break down this wall I made around myself but like I said previously, I still have work to do like being able to talk normally and carry a conversation because most times, the conversation ends and everything gets awkward. I used to be so open and friendly in middle school/beginning of high school then I got like freakin' emo my junior/senior year or something and now I have to start all over. Anyway, I'm still in my room most of the time but I do go out more often. Even my good friend from high school noticed that I'm changing. And yeah, it feels awesome. I sort of have a balance between my social and academic life. I usually do most of my socializing on the weekends. Friday night is party night where I like to dance and drink (that is, if I can find alcohol). Then Saturdays I either stay in my room and surf the internet or hang out with some friends. On weekdays, I don't really hang out with anyone since I figure that most are busy with classes and I never take the initiative to call them out and hang. Though I do meet up with my high school friends that go to the same college as me for lunch and dinner, and maybe occasionally I'll meet up with someone and just chat. Hmm, I'm not sure if I'm helping you but some advice I can give you is that you shouldn't be afraid to say no. If you don't want your friends to be in your room, then just tell them that you need some time to yourself. They're in college now, they should be able to understand. If they can't deal with it, then lol @ them. Another thing you could do is maybe study at the library instead of your room. I have a question though, how does your roommate feel about your friends staying over in your room til 4 am?

[chicken fly lice]

I go to school, study Mon-Thurs since those are the days I have class. Then I get plastered on Fri and Sat. So yea, my social isn't too bad.

[`faded]

I'm a junior...and through these 3 years..I've made really awesome friends these past few years..I sometimes hang out with one group and sometimes with another..but we all generally know each other and stuff, just that some are more closer to each other then others, and I just like hanging out with a whole bunch of them, but when I'm in my room I would love to try and study and have my alone time like you said. it can get overwhelming sometimes. Company and having friends over in your room is fine, if they don't stay late ya know?

I think best thing for you to do, is that you should just tell them honestly or just jokingly say that hey I'm tired can you guys leave? and then maybe they'll stop bothering you but not distance themselves..or say that they're bursting your bubble space hahaha..>.> I do that sometimes and it works! but if not just honestly tell them that you want your alone time, and you want to sleep in order to wake up for your classes and study and what not..and they'll understand! if not then they're just horrible friends >.>

[hiimpaulkim]

Well, I'm a sophomore and my social life is much better this year. I'm putting myself out there more and actually hanging out with people and getting to know them. However, I still have a problem with being awkward and shy.... Last year, I used to room with my sister so I never got out of my little comfort bubble and made any friends. I mean, I had some friends but they weren't like... close, you know? I'd talk to them but I rarely ever hung out with them. I was just so obsessed with playing my MMORPG and watching my Asian dramas/movies that I never left my room at all except for classes and to get food. But this year I want to make things different. I want to be more social and break down this wall I made around myself but like I said previously, I still have work to do like being able to talk normally and carry a conversation because most times, the conversation ends and everything gets awkward. I used to be so open and friendly in middle school/beginning of high school then I got like freakin' emo my junior/senior year or something and now I have to start all over. Anyway, I'm still in my room most of the time but I do go out more often. Even my good friend from high school noticed that I'm changing. And yeah, it feels awesome. I sort of have a balance between my social and academic life. I usually do most of my socializing on the weekends. Friday night is party night where I like to dance and drink (that is, if I can find alcohol). Then Saturdays I either stay in my room and surf the internet or hang out with some friends. On weekdays, I don't really hang out with anyone since I figure that most are busy with classes and I never take the initiative to call them out and hang. Though I do meet up with my high school friends that go to the same college as me for lunch and dinner, and maybe occasionally I'll meet up with someone and just chat. Hmm, I'm not sure if I'm helping you but some advice I can give you is that you shouldn't be afraid to say no. If you don't want your friends to be in your room, then just tell them that you need some time to yourself. They're in college now, they should be able to understand. If they can't deal with it, then lol @ them. Another thing you could do is maybe study at the library instead of your room. I have a question though, how does your roommate feel about your friends staying over in your room til 4 am?

DUDE OMFG WE ARE IN THE SAME SITUATION ZOMG

but i'm still dorming with my sister

[VOGUEx]

just say you need time to study and do homework alone. or say you needa head to bed early blah, get out lol. they'll prob end up in someone else's room more later on..if you keep at it?

[Zagggon]

Well to be honest, if as some posters already said, you cant talk to them about it without them punishing you by casting you out of their group, then they aren't your friends anyways so you might as well tell them off.

Most people are decent human beings however and will compromise, although college is the last point where people are allowed to be complete idiots and good-for-nothings before they have to grow up, so in a sense its a loose-loose situation if they feel they have some "right" to act this way because they are in college...which is often the case sadly.

I have found this to be the case with a lot of people though, especially in college, they assume their group of people that they party with and all are their friends, then when they get tired of that lifestyle they find that their "friends" are not all of a sudden so receptive now that they cant use you and your stuff for their random cravings and exploits.

[LUX.]

Just tell them straight up that you want them out at a certain time. You ARE paying for your education and once you graduate high school, almost everyone is a legal adult. They should act like it when you give them a rule for your room.

And if you feel bad about doing that, you can say you had a talk with your roommate and you wanted people out of your room at x:xx time. Last year, I found that honesty works wonders (I found that out a LITTLE too late, but whatever) and that people will understand. And if they don't want to talk to you after, they are most definitely not your friend. But, seriously, if you're as social as it seems like, I don't think you should have any problems. Good luck.... (I hoped that helped a little bit...)

Well to be honest, if as some posters already said, you cant talk to them about it without them punishing you by casting you out of their group, then they aren't your friends anyways so you might as well tell them off.

Most people are decent human beings however and will compromise, although college is the last point where people are allowed to be complete idiots and good-for-nothings before they have to grow up, so in a sense its a loose-loose situation if they feel they have some "right" to act this way because they are in college...which is often the case sadly.

I have found this to be the case with a lot of people though, especially in college, they assume their group of people that they party with and all are their friends, then when they get tired of that lifestyle they find that their "friends" are not all of a sudden so receptive now that they cant use you and your stuff for their random cravings and exploits.

Thank you guys so much for the advice! My roomie and I have the same group of friends, mostly, and so I nicely alluded to the fact that I didn't want people on my bed, and she listened to that...but not so much about the "only one other person in the room if I'm trying to sleep" rule ><
but then again, I was not at all assertive and never told her I was upset...so it's my fault.

I'll try to be more assertive next time! Thanks guys!